A broken spirit journeyed on, the embraces of friendship and brotherhood carrying its soul along the path of restoration.


Voices mingled around the sanctuary, as Steve stood up from the pew. He picked his Bible up, tapping Soda on the shoulder with it. "Hey, man, you can move around now. Service is over."

Soda flinched away from the touch, his eyes on the front of the church near the altar. "Yeah. I know that, Stevie."

"What's wrong now, Soda?"

Soda's gaze quickly shifted to Steve. "What's wrong now, huh? Don't even ask if you're going to be that way about it."

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that, and you know it. Just tell me, man."

Soda sighed, his eyes landing on Samuel, who was speaking to Pastor David. "I want to talk to Samuel. But I don't know what to say."

"Aw, buddy, there's nothing you have to say, and you're good at just being there. Talk to him, like you always do. He'll be glad to see you."


"Yeah. So then I told him you and I danced naked in the street, and it was a blast."

Audrey laughed, hearing Nicholas tell her about the teasing Steve had done a couple of nights before. "I think you're getting better at thinking of comebacks."

Nicholas chuckled, seeing Steve making his way over to them. "Me too. I don't just turn red every time anymore. Do I, Son?"

Steve stopped beside his dad and Audrey, though he was looking over at where Soda stood near Samuel. "Huh? Oh! Yeah. You don't do that as much anymore, Dad."

Audrey turned to Steve. "So you think it's funny we were dancing, huh?"

Steve wrapped an arm around his dad. "Oh, no. Not you, Audrey. Just him."

Nicholas gave Steve a shove. "Which is why I let him know we had such fun dancing naked in the street. Didn't we?"

Audrey linked her arm through Nicholas'. "Yes. We absolutely did. I'd love to do it again sometime."


"Hey, Samuel? Can I, um, talk to you for a minute?"

Samuel turned at the sound of Soda's voice. "I've got more than a minute for you, Sodapop. Come sit down."

Soda followed Samuel over to a pew on the front row, both of them taking a seat. "I'm so sorry about the baby. How's your wife doing?"

"She's doing okay. She's outside with Grace right now, and I'm sure that's what they're talking about."

"What about you?"

"I'm hanging in there too."

"What I told you at your house that day, I'm sorry if I hurt you or anything. I sure didn't mean to."

"What are you talking about, Sodapop? What did you say that you think hurt me?"

Soda took a quick glance around the sanctuary, making certain no one was within earshot of their conversation, but still lowered his voice. "What I said about the water and drowning. Cause Steve told me what happened to your little boy."

Samuel touched Soda's shoulder and made eye contact with him. "It's okay. You didn't even know that was how Matthew died. If you had, I still would've wanted you to tell me about what happened. I want you to talk to me, no matter what."

"That's what Steve said about it too."

"And he's absolutely right."

"I felt bad after I heard that cause I figured the stuff I said must've made you think of him."

"Honestly, it did, Sodapop. But that's okay. It's not your fault."

"I sure do hear that a lot lately. Only one who blamed me for anything was the counselor I saw one time."

"What happened?"

"A couple of days after I was at your house, I decided to try talking to this counselor. My doctor gave me her name cause I told him some of what was going on with me."

"Okay."

"And she blamed me for getting shot. For dropping out of school too, I think."

"That's terrible. Guilt is such a hard feeling to shake too, especially when it's not logical."

"She was talking about how it happened on the East side of town. Said it wasn't shocking. So I should take responsibility."

"Oh, Sodapop. And coming from someone who's supposed to be trained to help? I'm so sorry. I know you didn't need anyone saying something like that to you."

"I guess you can't train people to care, you know? It kind of made me wonder about anybody else who sees her and what's going on with them. She almost seemed like she just couldn't really believe what I was saying sometimes. Like she couldn't see how I would be bothered about the shooting. Even before she said what she did, I wasn't real comfortable with her. I doubt she minded when I took off."

"She doesn't sound like someone who should be listening to people talk about those kinds of problems. Judgmental, to say the least."

"Oh, believe me, Steve and Darry both had some words for her. They were there with me. Darry talked to her after I ran out cause she said something to them about telling me the truth."

"I'm glad they were there. I know you needed the reassurance."

"Yeah. I did. That turned out to be a real rough night too. But not just cause of that."

"Why then?"

"Cause of the other feelings I've been having. Like the ones I told you about already. But even more too. I started talking to Steve that night and thought I'd never stop."

"Sounds like that was what you needed then."

"Yeah. Guess it was." Soda stopped, looking across the sanctuary to see Vivian and Grace step back inside the church. "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm over here going on and on about myself, but you haven't had it easy either."

Samuel followed Soda's gaze, his eyes meeting Vivian's for a moment. "No. I really haven't. But, like I said, I want you to talk to me, no matter what."

Steve's voice sounded from the door of the sanctuary. "Hey, Sodapop, we're leaving as soon as my dad and Audrey are done kissing in the parking lot."

Samuel shook his head, laughing, as he got to his feet. "Steve, I don't know what Nicholas is going to do with you."

Soda chimed in, as he got up to go toward Steve. "Oh, probably throw him out in their backyard, like he wanted to when they all had dinner together."

Steve stood in the doorway of the church, seeing Audrey wave to Nicholas. "Yeah, preacher guy. Then, I'd have to come and eat at your house."

Samuel joined Vivian by the back row of pews, putting an arm around her waist. "You can do that, as long as you bring me some food too."

Soda came to stand near the open door, looking between Steve and Samuel. "Ya'll are making me hungry."

Steve reached over and clapped Soda's shoulder. "You're the one who mentioned dinner, man." He heard Nicholas beep the car's horn and glanced outside. "Yeah, we're coming, Dad! Don't know why he's in any hurry. He just saw Audrey."

Samuel grinned at Steve, then kissed Vivian's temple. "It's probably because he knows if you were waiting for him, you would be honking the horn."

Steve shrugged, conceding. "Eh, that might be true."

Soda cast a look at his best friend. "Might? Man, one time I was standing out there right in front of you talking to Samuel, and you beeped at me!"

Samuel smiled at the memory, as he took his car keys out of his pocket. "That was cause he wanted to make noise."

Steve nudged Soda's shoulder. "Come on, buddy. We better go, before he leaves us here or something." He turned and waved to Samuel and Vivian. "I'll see you two later."

Soda started to follow Steve out to the parking lot, pausing in the doorway. "Um, Vivian?"

Vivian looked at Soda, her eyes shiny with unshed tears, even as she'd enjoyed listening to the banter around her. "Yes, Sodapop?"

Soda heard the car horn beep at him, as he met Vivian's gaze. "I just want to tell you I'm real sorry. And I'll be praying for you. I ain't sure what to say or what to ask God for. But I'll do my best."


"Man, isn't that getting really hot?"

Soda adjusted the dial on the heating pad, as he responded to Steve. "You sound kind of like Pony, Stevie."

Steve sent a mock glare in his best friend's direction. "Don't insult me, buddy."

Soda, an amused smile making itself visible, pressed the heating pad to his arm, the warmth covering his skin. "When I had an ice pack on it, he asked me if it was cold."

"Well, yeah, ice is cold."

"And electric heating pads are hot."

"Shut up, man."

"Nah. I don't feel like it."

Steve nodded toward Soda's arm. "So has this stuff the doc said to do been helping?"

Soda felt the heat course along his skin, moving the pad to rest on his hand and fingers. "I don't know. Maybe. I know it feels good. It's only been a couple of days anyway."

"Yeah. It'll probably take more time than that."

"I'm sure it will." Everything does, Soda thought. Everything takes so much time to even start to heal. "Hey, Stevie, want to go for a drive or something?"

"Sure, buddy. As soon as you're done with that, we'll hit the road."


"Are you sure about this, Soda? I mean, I'm thirteen and you're sixteen."

Soda reassured Pony, as he stacked more of his own clothes into the dresser they were going to share. "Yeah, I'm sure, Pony. I've ended up here just about every night anyway. Might as well move in."

Pony sat down on what was now officially going to be their shared bed, the sheets still rumpled from the night before. "Ain't I too old to need my big brother sleeping next to me?"

Soda draped himself across the bed, lying on his stomach, elbows propping him up. "Nah. It's got nothing to do with age, Pone. Anybody can have nightmares. It ain't like you think there are monsters under your bed or in the closet. I know you don't remember much about the dreams, but whatever all's happening must feel pretty real."

"Yeah. I just know it's something bad. Not sure what. I just know I can't stop it."

"So if me sleeping next to you helps you calm down, I'll do it as long as you need me to."

"Even when I don't dream, I like being next to you, Soda. I don't know if that sounds weird or not."

"Nah. It doesn't sound weird at all. Hell, if I'm being honest, I like it too. I guess it's comforting."

"Darry's talking about taking me to the doctor if I keep having nightmares."

"Might be a good idea."

"I don't know. I just hate the thought of going. It's like I think he'll want to poke around in my brain or something."

"Aw, but we've known Dr. Reese since we were little kids. He's nice enough. And it ain't like he can look in your eyes and ears with that little light and see what's going on in your mind."

"That would be creepy. I think Darry's just tired of hearing me scream at night."

"He wants to help, Pony. Come on, you know that."

"Yeah. I guess. I don't mean to bother ya'll or keep waking you up."

"Aw, you're not bothering us. Besides, it ain't your fault. You're not choosing to have nightmares, are you?"

"No."

"All right then. So quit being so tough on yourself. Maybe Dr. Reese will be able to help you sleep better."

"Do you ever have bad dreams, Soda? I mean, I know you don't wake up screaming, but do you dream stuff that's scary at all?"

"Not that I remember. Everybody dreams though. I'm sure mine can't all be good."

"What do you remember dreaming about?"

"Lots of stuff, I guess. Mostly doesn't make sense. But, lately, I dream about Sandy too."

"You think you love her?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe. But being with her sure feels real nice."

"Nice how?"

"It just feels right. Like she's the only girl in the world, and nothing could ever go wrong."


It's moving so fast, Soda thought, as he stared out the window of the Ford, the black asphalt of the road seeming to race beneath the tires. "The other night, I asked Darry why he loves me."

Steve's foot pressed harder on the gas pedal, making the car pick up speed for a few seconds, before he let it remain at a steady pace. "What did Superman have to say about that?"

Soda's gaze shifted to the windshield, looking at the blue sky above them, its vast array of space stretching past the clouds and up to Heaven. "He said I'm his baby brother, and he can't even remember me not being in his life. That nothing could ever make him stop loving me. He said it's impossible."

"Of course, man. He's your big brother, who'd do anything for you."

"Yeah."

"Look, buddy, the feelings you've got didn't come about the same way. But do you remember what I said to you in the hospital right after my overdose?"

"You told me you were sorry and how much it hurt. That'd you'd just wanted the pain to stop."

"Yeah. But I also told you please don't hate me. One of the times I woke up before that, I remember telling my dad to please still love me. Hell, after we went back to church, I even asked him if God still loved me."

"I sure couldn't imagine hating you, Stevie. I know your dad loves you too. And God always loves everybody."

"That's how afraid I was, man. Cause of what I'd done to myself. I felt so bad at first, it seemed like you guys and even God might not love me anymore."

"But we all still did."

"Exactly. I'll be honest with you, Sodapop. I still get where I feel guilty sometimes cause I know how bad I hurt you guys. I know you'll never forget about it either. But I also know you understand what was going on in my head, that I was never trying to hurt anyone. I was in pain and damn sure wasn't thinking straight. Cause that's what pain does to you. It screws with your head and makes you decide to do things you wouldn't, if you weren't hurting."

Soda stayed quiet, his consciousness treading on the surface of raw transparency, as the Ford moved along peaceful roads heading out to the country.

"That's why I had to keep you talking to me last weekend, man. Cause I knew none of that shit could have so much power over you then. I had to just get you through that night and make sure that pain wouldn't get all the control. Cause as much as I want to believe-"

"Steve, stop the car."

Steve glanced at Soda, seeing how pale his best friend's face had become and hearing his quick intakes of breath. "Are you feeling sick again?"

"Just need the car to stop moving. Please, Stevie."

Steve moved his foot to the brake, slowing the car down, before he drove onto the side of the road.

Soda felt the Ford come to a complete stop in the grass, his breathing slowly evening out.

Steve switched the car off, the key still in the ignition, as he turned to face Soda. "What's wrong, man?"

"It was just the motion. It made me feel funny."

"Since when do you get carsick at all?"

"I don't- I don't know."

"Is it cause of what I was saying to you? Talking about last weekend?"

Soda was silent, as he opened the passenger door. He turned to face the outdoors, sitting on the seat with his feet on the grass.

"You can tell me if it was, Soda. Of course it's hard for you to remember that night. It's hard for me too, buddy."

"Not cause of that, Stevie. It's cause you're right about pain screwing with your head. It makes you do stuff. Or want to, even when you can't cause it ain't there."

"What are you talking about, man? What ain't there?"

"I was going to take it and go to sleep."

"You were going to take what and go to sleep?"

"Do you remember when I had bronchitis a few months ago? With that cough that kept me up at night?"

Steve reached for Soda, gripping the back of his shirt. "I remember. What about it?"

"The cough syrup made me drowsy."

"Yeah. I know it did."

"It even felt kind of good."

"Tell me what happened, buddy."

"That's why I cried myself to sleep last Sunday night."

"You can tell me, Sodapop. I swear I won't be mad at you."

"I was going to take a bunch of the cough syrup. Enough that I wouldn't wake up."

Steve's fist gripped Soda's shirt tighter, as he leaned to rest his head against his best friend's back.

"But it wasn't there. It wasn't in the medicine cabinet."

"I poured it out, Soda. On Friday night."

"What? You did?"

"Cause of what you said about overdosing. I remembered how that stuff made you sleep."

Soda turned back around in the passenger seat, his eyes full of tears that begged to fall. "It wasn't there because you poured it out?"

Steve roughly pulled Soda closer, feeling his own body shake, as he spoke right into his best friend's ear. "Yes. I did." Thank God, he thought. "It wasn't there for you to take because I poured it out." Thank God it was gone. "I poured it down the damn drain."


Soda stepped out of the bathroom, bare feet padding down the hall in the dark. He was about to go back into the room he shared with Pony when he paused beside Darry's closed door that was right across from the unoccupied bedroom that had belonged to their parents.

Soda heard a faint noise, then pressed his ear to the door, recognizing the sound of crying. Not hesitating for a moment, despite the late hour, he turned the door knob to peek into his big brother's room. "Darry?"

Darry breathed in at the sound of Soda's voice, attempting to silence his cries. "What is it, little buddy? Something wrong with Pony?"

Soda entered the room and climbed into the bed beside Darry so that they were face to face. "No. I was just on my way back to bed and could hear you crying."

Darry turned over, his body beneath the covers, as he now faced away from Soda. "I'm fine, Soda. You can go back to bed."

Soda wrapped his arm around Darry and laid his head on his brother's shoulder. "It's me, Darry. You don't have to say you're fine."

The shake in Darry's voice gave him away, as he pressed his face into the pillow that had already been soaked in tears. "I know. But I really am."

"You're not." Soda shifted, so that he could put both arms around Darry and hugged him from behind. He felt his big brother clutch onto him, as sobs were released. "Shh. It's okay, Darry."

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you, Sodapop."

"But you are. I can take care of you too, you know. You don't have to do this." Soda squeezed his brother even tighter, holding him in both the darkness of night and of grief. "I'm here, so you never have to cry alone."


"I can't believe I just told you that on the side of the damn road."

Steve started the car back up, as Soda closed the passenger door. "I think sometimes getting a little far away makes things spill out. It has for me."

Soda's head dropped, his eyes closing to hold back the tears that still remained. "I'm so sorry, Stevie."

Steve reached for Soda's hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "It's all right, buddy. I'm glad you got it off your chest. Especially if that's what's been making you sick."

"I don't know if I would've done it or not."

"I know exactly what you mean." Steve shifted the car into gear, checking for traffic before he crossed the road and made a U-turn.

"And it is why I've been sick."

Steve switched gears, as the car picked up speed, heading back toward the main part of town. "I figured it must be since you said that was last Sunday night."

"Darry heard me crying right after and stayed with me all night. But I just couldn't tell him. I did write it down, like you told me I should."

"Good, man. I'm glad you did."

"I felt better after that. You were right."

Steve's eyes remained on the road ahead of them, as he reached over and squeezed Soda's shoulder.

"Steve, are you upset?"

"I'm not mad at you, buddy, if that's what you mean."

"You looked in the medicine cabinet cause of what I said?"

"Yeah. I couldn't get it out of my head, man. Especially knowing how I'd been."

"I'm glad you poured it out. Cause I really might've done it. I told God I was sorry."

"He understands, man. I know he was listening too."

"That medicine made me sleep so hard when I took it before. It wasn't even that long ago, but then, I never would've thought about taking more that I was supposed to. I never would've thought about-"

Steve's hand touched Soda's shoulder again, as he interrupted him. "Sodapop, I'm not trying to shut you down. I swear I'm not, buddy. And I'm not upset with you at all. But can we just get home before we talk about this anymore?"

"Oh. Okay."

"Just cause I'm driving, man. That's all."

"I bet you and Darry will both be real glad when I go to that doctor. Cause maybe then, you'll have me off your backs."

"You've got to be fuckin' kidding me right now, Soda. Is that what you think is happening?"

"Well, it'd be easier on ya'll if I'm talking to her instead, right?"

"I swear I'm about to pull this car over again and knock some sense into you, man. I don't want you to stop talking to me! Doctor or no doctor, you better talk to me too cause I still want to be here for you! Did I stop telling you stuff after I started seeing Laura? Hell, no! Me and Darry both want you to see Dr. Morgan because we know she can help you in ways we can't. That's it, man. It's not cause we want you off our backs. So get your head out of your ass and listen to what I've been telling you, Sodapop! Stop listening to the shit in your head that's lying to you about yourself. Please!"

Soda fell silent, staring out the window, just as he had earlier.

"I don't mean to yell at you, buddy. It just kills me inside to know you could ever think the things that you are. I know you've been listening, so please take it all to heart. Please know I'm telling you the truth."

"I guess I don't really believe that about the doctor. It's just something that's been in my head sometimes, you know?"

"Yeah. I get it, man."

"Cause I feel like I keep hurting ya'll, so if I'm just talking to her, I won't do that anymore."

"But you're not going to quit talking to me or Darry. You got it?"

"I got it."

"And that's not why we want you to go to this doctor. We're not pushing you away. You hear me?"

"Yeah. I hear you."

"I only asked you to wait til we get home to say anymore about what happened because I want to be able to listen and be here with you, not trying to focus on the road too."

"I know it's hard to listen to, Stevie. You can tell me. I remember how I felt when you started struggling like that. It was so damn scary."

"It is scary, buddy. Even scarier when it's a secret though. So, if you want to, when we get back to my house, you can tell me everything."


"You did what? Darry's going to blow a gasket, Sodapop! And you damn well know it!"

Soda pulled Steve aside, away from the office's door and the curious eyes that roamed the high school hallway. "I dropped out, Steve. You heard me. I already put in an application at the DX."

Steve grabbed the front of Soda's shirt and pulled him out the nearest set of double doors, his teeth clenched along with his fists. "Darry's going to kill you, man! You said you'd give it more time. How are you just not going to be in school anymore, huh?"

"I did give it more time, Steve! All I'm passin' is gym and auto mechanics, and I can't let Darry do this by himself anymore, man! I don't want me and Pony to get taken away by the state."

Steve's fists slowly unclenched, as he released his hold on Soda. "What the hell are you talking about? Why would you get taken away from him?"

"The damn bills, Stevie. Darry's drowning in them, and he's exhausted. Me being here is just a waste of time anyway. You're in good with Coleman, right? Put in a good word for me, will you?"

"Of course I will, man. But what are you going to say to Darry?"

"I'm just going to tell him. He ain't going to be happy at first."

"That's a hell of an understatement."

"But it's my choice, not his. He ain't ever going to admit he needs help to keep us all together. I know you don't like it, man, but I really need you to back me up right now."

"Yeah. I've got your back, buddy. Don't worry about that. I can't even be pissed about it now when I know why you're doing it."

"Staying with my brothers means a lot more to me than school ever could. Pony's doing real good too, and I want to keep it that way for him."

"Of course you do. But are you sure about this, Soda? You've thought about it a lot? I know you're looking out for them, but somebody's gotta look out for you too."

"Yeah. I'm sure. It's all I've been thinking about. Darry's doing everything for us, and I can't let it all fall apart."


"My dad probably went over to Audrey's. He does that a lot lately. Did I tell you they had a glass of wine together one night?"

Soda heard Steve's voice speaking to him, as the bedroom door clicked shut. "No. You didn't tell me that."

Steve sat down on the floor across from Soda, leaning back against the foot of his bed. "Yeah. I mean, I didn't get upset or anything, but it bothered him that he drank at all. Even though it was just a glass of wine. I told him it's up to him what he does, but I don't want him feeling guilty. So it's probably better not to drink."

"Probably."

"Do you want to talk anymore about what you told me, man? We don't have to. You just look like you're thinking something."

"We've done this so much lately, Stevie."

"Done what so much?"

"Talked about stuff. Cried. All of it."

"Yeah. But that's okay. If it's what you need, that's all that matters."

Soda looked down at his hands that were in his lap, as Steve scooted close to his side. "I do. I want to talk about it more."

Steve reached for one of Soda's hands, holding it tight. "Then do it, man. Don't worry about talking too much or crying too much or anything like that. It's just me and you here."

"You already know what was going on that night with Pony and all."

"Yeah. Sure won't ever forget that."

"Did you think he was going to tell you I hurt myself or something? He said he scared you."

"He did, and I did think that. I couldn't help it after listening to how you'd been feeling, and it's not like the kid usually shows up at my front door."

"I knew if Pony ever found out I felt like that, he wouldn't handle it so great."

"He's come around though, right? He's talked to me since then, and even I'm giving him some credit. The kid loves you so much, Sodapop. And I'm not saying you did anything wrong that night, but it seems worse to me to just overhear something like that. That's not the same as sitting him down and being honest."

"I know. He just reacted."

"Not the right way, but like I said, he's coming around. So what else happened after I left?"

"Nothing really. Pony told me he was sorry. I apologized to him too. But I don't know, Stevie. I felt funny. More numb than anything else. I made sure Pony knew I wasn't mad at him and told him and Darry both I love them, then went to bed."

Steve's mind flashed with the image of red liquid going down the drain, and he put his other hand over Soda's. "So when did you start thinking about what you told me?"

"Not long after that. I mean, I was already feeling it right when I was talking to my brothers. Like what you said before, feeling cold inside. So I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. And I remembered how good I slept with that medicine. Before, I never would've thought about this, but I wanted to sleep like that forever."

"So you went to find the cough syrup, and it was gone?"

"Yeah. I opened the medicine cabinet, and I was shaking so bad. I looked all up and down the shelves, like I thought I was just missing it."

"Damn, buddy. I'm so glad I poured it out. So thankful."

"Me too, Stevie."

"It's cause you were so honest. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. I know. So, like I already told you, I went to bed and cried. I didn't say anything to Darry about where the medicine might be cause it wasn't like I could've explained why I was looking for it."

"He knows what I did already, man. I told him when you were still out with Penny Saturday night."

"So he knows what I said about overdosing?"

"Yeah. He knows it was in your head. He'd asked me if there was anything you were thinking about doing, so I had to tell him, buddy. About that and the water. Anything to make sure you're safe."

"He hasn't said anything to me about it at all."

"I'm sure he will if he thinks he needs to. Not like it's easy to bring up. But I know he always tells you he wants you to talk to him. This ain't an exception."

"Yeah. I know it's not. I think it makes Darry feel a little better when I talk to him too since he can't really fix it all, like he wants to."

"Sounds like me and Superman have that in common when it comes to you."

"Yeah. I guess you do."

"When you got sick on Monday, it was because you were keeping that a secret?"

"Pretty much. I kept thinking about it all the time. I told God I wasn't really going to do it. But I don't know if that's true. The only thing I know is I felt like I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. It scares me to think I could've taken that medicine, Stevie, and it scares me to think about dying all the time."

Steve could see the tears on the edge of falling from Soda's eyes, as he gave his hand a squeeze. "I know, man. I can see why you were having such a hard time those few days especially."

"She won't try to make me stay in a hospital or something, will she?"

"You mean Dr. Morgan?"

"Yeah. If I tell her all this, will she make me go like where you were?"

"I don't think so, buddy. Not unless she believes you will hurt yourself. She won't put you there just cause you've thought about it. Is that what you've been worried about?"

"Yeah. Part of it."

"Aw, Sodapop. She won't do anything that ain't necessary to protect you." Steve let go of Soda's hand and gripped each of his shoulders. "Please look at me, man."

Soda's eyes met Steve's, as a few tears finally slipped to his cheeks. "Yeah?"

"Be honest with her at your appointment, okay? Tell the truth about everything she asks you, even if you're worried or scared."

"K. I will."

"Come here, buddy." Steve pulled Soda into his arms, as gratitude and fear tangled together within his heart.

Soda rested his head on Steve's shoulder, feeling himself shake inside, while he cried. "You've done this so much too."

"What? Hugged you?"

"Yeah."

"I know. But that's okay too, man."

"If you hadn't poured the cough syrup out, I could be dead. I could've taken a lot of it and fallen asleep. And my brothers wouldn't have known to get me help."

"But that didn't happen. You're here. I know exactly what's going through your head right now, man. But you didn't do it, and you're here."

"It's so hard not to keep thinking about it. It's so hard not to think about what it would've felt like. But I just wanted that hurt to go away. I just wanted-"

Steve heard Soda's voice catch, a sob choking him, at the same time he felt him trembling. "Shh. Damn, buddy. I can feel you shaking. Just try to relax. You don't gotta talk anymore. You can cry it out. I'm just going to sit here and hold you right now. Cause it's what you need." It's what you need, he thought, grieving tears on his own face, as he held tight to his friend, who was more like a brother. And it's what I need too.


"Darry, I've got something I need to tell you."

Darry moved about the kitchen, glancing at Soda, as he opened the refrigerator. "What is it? It's getting kind of late, and I need to get ready for tomorrow."

Soda took a step closer to his brother, bracing himself inside. "I dropped out of school."

Darry felt the cold air from the refrigerator, forgetting why he'd even opened it. He slammed the door closed and turned to Soda. "What the hell do you mean, Sodapop Patrick? Is this some sort of joke?"

"No. It ain't a joke. I dropped out, and I've already got a full-time job lined up."

"No, Sodapop. Forget it. You're going back to school, and that's final. I'm putting my foot down. You're sixteen. You belong at school."

"No, Darry. You and Pony belong at school. I don't. I never have. I know all that means a lot to ya'll, but it's nothin' to me."

"Nothing, huh? So what kind of job did you get at sixteen, Sodapop? What kind of job is going to be better than staying in school and getting a diploma?"

"Same place Steve works part-time. The DX station."

"So you're going to pump gas for the rest of your life now?"

"That ain't what I'm saying, but I like working with cars. I wasn't going to pass this year anyway. You know that. Don't even pretend you thought any different."

Darry slammed a closed fist down on the kitchen counter. "Damn it! You're not doing this. I'm taking your ass back to that school in the morning, and you're fixing this. I'm not going to sit back and let you make a mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life!"

Soda took a few steps closer to Darry, his gaze meeting that of his big brother. "I'm not going back to school, Darry. It's not your choice to make, it's mine. You ain't even denying what I said about passing cause you know it's true."

Darry grabbed a hold of Soda's shirt sleeves and tugged him even closer. "I'm your guardian, Sodapop Patrick. And so help me, you're going to stay in school. I'll find a way to help you pass your classes."

"When? In between visits after me and Pony get taken away cause we ain't got enough money for everything?"

"That's not going to happen. I told you I can manage."

"How? By working yourself to death? And how good does it look if you're working so much, you're never home with us?"

"How good do you think it looks if I've got my kid brother dropping out of school to help pay bills?"

"It ain't like you're asking me to do it. You wouldn't ask. And I may be dumb in school, but that ain't a hard answer, Darry."

"You're not dumb, Sodapop. Don't say that about yourself."

"Well, I ain't smart the way you and Pony are. But this ain't about that anyway, and you already know it. You asked me how it looks, and you know what? It looks like a brother helping out his family. We're all we got left, Darry, and I'm not about to risk losing that."


Thank you, God, for keeping him safe, Steve prayed within himself, as he gave Soda one more squeeze. Thank you for taking care of him.

Soda slowly pulled back from the embrace, finding a steady voice now that he was a little calmer. "You were praying, weren't you?"

"How'd you know that?"

"It's just the look you get on your face. I can tell. And, well, I can see why you would be praying right now."

"I always pray for you, buddy. Same as you did for me."

"I really need it too, Stevie." Soda felt Steve's hand on his shoulder, as he looked up, knowing he'd seen the intervention of God in the past. "I need all the prayers I can get."