The precious jewels of wisdom combined with the treasure of compassion to cultivate a path that would mend the broken spirit and bring about recovery.
"Darry, have you ever gone back to Mom and Dad's graves?"
Darry sat next to Soda on the porch swing, noticing the contemplative expression on his brother's face. "Just that one time not too long after their funeral. Why?"
Soda laid his head on Darry's shoulder, his eyes looking out into the night. "Cause I went there today. Steve came with me."
"Oh. Okay. Any particular reason you wanted to go?"
"Just cause I miss them."
"I know, little buddy. Me too."
"Going there didn't help though. I thought it might cause Steve used to go to his mom's grave, and it helped him. But it made me feel worse to be out there."
"I can see how that could go either way."
"You're the best brother, Darry."
"Tell me what you're thinking about right now, Pepsi Cola. So I can help you."
"Do you ever think about what it would be like to be gone?"
Darry felt his heartbeat quicken, as he slipped an arm around Soda, the question one he hadn't expected. "What do you mean by 'gone?'"
"Dead. Buried in the ground."
Darry tightened his grip on his brother, as he leaned closer to rest his own head on top of Soda's. Please don't do this, little buddy, he thought. Please don't be thinking like that. "No. I actually haven't."
"That's what the cemetery made me think of."
"Okay."
Soda's hand moved and found its way to Darry's, holding it, as he stayed close to his brother. "I love you. You know that, right? I love you so much."
Darry grasped Soda's hand, his grip one of desperation. "Yes. I do know that. I've always known that. I've never doubted it, little buddy."
"I know I worry you a lot. I'm sorry."
You're worrying me right now, Darry thought. And scaring the hell out of me. "Soda, why are you saying all this right now? Are you thinking about hurting yourself?"
"Yeah. But I'm not going to do it, Dar. I'm just thinking about it a whole lot right now. It's in my head, and it won't stop."
"What do you need me to do for you, little buddy? How can I help with this?"
Soda loosened his grip on Darry's hand, moving his thumb over the skin, as if trying to soothe his brother. "I just need you to be here with me. That's all."
"Okay. I can sure do that."
Soda tightened his grip on Darry's hand again, leaning further into him. "I just need you to listen and always love me." He closed his eyes, his soul beginning to relax. "Then, I'll be able to keep breathing."
"Aw, come on, Dad. Don't be a sore loser."
Nicholas eyed the Scrabble board full of letter tiles, as he replied to Steve. "I'm not a sore loser. I just don't get how you could have more points than I do."
Steve looked back at the words he'd formed and the scores written down on paper, shrugging. "I guess I've learned a little from you, huh?"
"You must have. I've got some competition now, don't I?"
"Looks like it." Steve let out a yawn, as he moved the letter X around on the board, breaking it free from the word, maximum. "I think I'm going to head to bed, Dad. I'm tired and got too much to think about."
"All right, Son." Nicholas reached for Steve and kissed his forehead. "Remember what I said. We're all going to take care of Sodapop."
"It means a lot to me that you care so much about him too, Dad."
"I always have. I know it didn't say it, but there were a lot of things I didn't say for a really long time. You two have been in each other's lives since you were five years old, Son. Just that alone means everything, but add to it all you've both been through together, and it makes your friendship even more special."
"I know it does. Are you going to talk to Darry with me then?"
"I'd like to. I think I should, in fact. As much as he and I haven't talked much over the years, I can relate to how this must feel for him. Sodapop may not be his son, but anybody could see he loves him just like one."
"Care to explain why you're almost an hour late?"
Soda closed the front door behind him, seeing Darry sitting in the dark. "I'm fine, Dar. I was just out with Sandy."
Darry switched on the lamp in the living room, looking Soda up and down for a moment, before he went to stand in front of him. "But it's not fine that you're late, Sodapop. What the hell are you thinking?"
"I was thinking I enjoyed my date, so I wasn't in a hurry. I'm sixteen, Darry. Get off my back. I know you're still pissed about me dropping out of school, but that ain't anything to do with this."
"You're right, and that's not why I'm upset. I didn't give you a curfew, so you could disobey it. You know better than that. And do you have any idea how worried I was? Did you ever think about that?"
"Nothing happened, okay? You didn't have to worry, and it wasn't even an hour."
"Please tell me you wore a condom."
"Darry! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Darry stepped closer to Soda, so that they were toe to toe. "You want to know what's wrong with me? My sixteen year old kid brother deliberately disobeyed me and doesn't have so much as an apology for it."
"I wasn't trying to stay out past curfew, Darry. It just happened."
"You know what else just happened? You're grounded the rest of the weekend. You don't leave this house."
"What? You can't do that."
"Yes, I can, and I just did. You've got to get it through your head that I'm in charge now. When you screw up, it's me you gotta deal with. You can't just do what you want, Sodapop. I won't have it."
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to get home late. It won't happen anymore."
"It better not. But you're still grounded. Until I know you'll listen to me and follow the rules, your ass stays home."
"Hey, ya'll have been out there a while now."
Darry waved Pony over to where he still sat with Soda cradled against him on the porch swing. "Come here, Pone."
Pony stepped out the door, then sat down on Soda's other side, looking at him, then back at Darry. "What's going on? Is he okay?"
Darry stared at Soda, seeing how his middle brother's head now rested against his chest. "He just needs us right now, Pony."
Pony drew closer to Soda, laying his head on his shoulder. "I'm here too, Soda. Even if I don't know all the stuff to say."
Darry put his arms around both of his little brothers, holding them close within this fragile moment, as silent tears slipped down his cheeks. We're both here, Sodapop, he thought. And I'll do anything to heal this hurt inside you. I'll do anything to make sure you stay with us. So don't you dare start telling me goodbye.
Steve's knees hit the carpet, hands folded in the darkness of his bedroom. "God, I know I've prayed for Soda so much. But I just gotta make sure you hear me. I've gotta know you're not going to let anything happen to him.
He laid his head against the bed, a shiver suddenly going through him. "I've got a bad feeling right now, God. I'm not sure what it means. But he's my best friend, and I love him. I know I don't even need to tell you that, but I still am. Please help."
A stream of light entered the bedroom, along with the sound of Nicholas' voice. "Let me pray with you, Son."
Steve felt his dad beside him, both of them now on their knees. "Something doesn't feel right, Dad. I'm not sure what. I just know."
Nicholas covered Steve's folded hands with both of his own. "God, the first thing I want to say is thank you for my son and the heart that he has."
Steve closed his eyes, whispering prayers that were bubbling out of his soul. "Please, God. Please take care of him. No matter what." He felt another shiver in his body, a spirit of divine empathy mixing with uncertainty.
"God, you've listened to me pray so much for Steve, and lately, for Sodapop too. I've seen so much healing in my son and in myself. Please do that for Sodapop. Help him through all of this pain. You know even more about what hurts than we do, and you know what he needs. Please reach down and touch him. Bring Steve peace over whatever he's feeling right now too."
"Dad, I need to check on him. I need to check on Soda. It's not just a feeling. It's stronger than that. I need to know he's okay or-"
Nicholas squeezed Steve's hands that he still held. "Okay, Son. I understand. We'll do it, all right? We'll go check on him."
"I ain't saying he shouldn't, but it's so weird to have my big brother telling me what to do all the time."
Steve stood beside Soda on the Curtis' back porch, elbows resting on the rail. "I'm sure it must be."
Soda moved to sit down on the steps, his leg bouncing up and down. "It was really weird when he told me I was grounded. It didn't even sound right coming from him, you know?"
"I get it, man. It's a big change."
"I gotta be a good example for Pony too though. I don't want to do stuff I ain't supposed to and then him do it too."
"Naturally. The kid will be fine, Sodapop. Ain't like he's the type to get in trouble at all. I don't see him staying out too late with a girl. Not unless they're talking about poetry or something. Which I'm sure is not what you and Sandy were up to last night."
"Nope. Definitely not. We did it in the backseat of her mom's car, man. It was a damn good time too. I needed that."
"I didn't think you were with her just to get in her skirt."
"I ain't, Stevie. Just sayin' it was nice to get some action. How are you and Evie coming along?"
Steve sat down next to Soda on the steps. "Mostly just hanging out together. I really like her. We kiss and stuff, but I'm not rushing it right now."
Soda elbowed Steve, giving him a grin. "I bet you want to though, right?"
"Of course I do. Just not in a hurry."
"Man, I was last night. Standing out there in the dark and kissing, I couldn't wait to go all the way with Sandy. When she said yes, damn, I was past ready, if you get what I mean."
"I'm not trying to sound like Darry here, but I hope you did take care of business."
"Yeah. I did. I've kept a condom on me every time we go out cause I was hoping."
"Darry still on you about dropping out of school?"
"He's still mad, but not saying a whole lot anymore."
"So maybe he's coming around then?"
"Yeah. Seems like it. I mean, I know he's coming at it from a good place, but I'm hoping he gets to be okay with me dropping out."
"Yeah. It ain't like you did it just because. I would've been much more upset too if you had."
"Well, I bring home my first paycheck on Thursday, so I bet that'll help change his mind."
"Darry, take my wallet. Take it away from me."
Darry sat on the edge of Soda's bed beside him, the request catching him off guard. "Why would I do that, little buddy? I'm listening, so you can tell me whatever it is you're thinking right now."
Soda felt his hands shaking, as he went over to his dresser and picked up the wallet. "You've gotta take it, Dar. So I can't do it. So I can't-"
"So you can't what?"
Soda sat back down on the bed and opened the wallet, seeing his license and the cash he carried around.
Darry watched his brother, his questions only multiplying. "Soda? What is it?
Soda closed the wallet, then shoved it at Darry. "Take it. Cause if I have money on me, I think- I'm sorry, Darry. I'm so sorry. Don't hate me for this."
Darry set the wallet down behind him, putting it out of Soda's sight for now. He then put a hand on each side of his brother's face, holding his gaze. "What are you trying to tell me? I love you, and I'll always love you. That's as true as it was when I said it before. I could never, ever hate you. I love you with all my heart, no matter what's happening tonight."
Soda lifted his own hands to cover Darry's and held on tight. "It hurts, Dar. I just want out of it. And I think- I mean-"
"It's okay, little buddy. I'm here. Be honest. You're safe with me."
Soda drew Darry's hands away from his face, still hanging onto them, as he bowed his head. "I want to sleep. I keep thinking about going to sleep and never waking up. That one Sunday night, when I was crying a lot, it wasn't cause of Pony."
"Okay. What was it then?"
"Steve poured out the cough syrup."
"He told me he did that."
"I went in the bathroom to find it that night."
The picture getting clearer, Darry eased his hands out of Soda's grip, noticing his brother's eyes flash with a look of fear.
"Darry? Please don't. Don't leave me. I wasn't really going to do it. I-"
Darry put his arms around Soda then, wrapping him in the tightest embrace. "Shh. I'm not leaving you. There's no way in hell I'm leaving you."
Soda's arms wound around his big brother, hugging him back just as tight. "So sorry. Was scared to tell you."
Darry rocked Soda slowly back and forth, focusing on the warmth of the body in his arms, life radiating from it, despite all of his brother's recent confessions. "I know. But nothing's different, okay? Damn, this must've been bothering you so much, little buddy."
"It has been. All the time."
"So what's this have to do with your wallet?" Darry felt Soda tense up against him and saw that he was nearly frozen. "Sodapop? It's okay. Please tell me."
"Cause I know I could- that medicine, it came from the doctor, but if I want to get something like it that'll do the same thing..."
"Are you telling me you're planning to get more?"
Soda reluctantly pulled away from the embrace, turning around, even as he remained close to Darry. "Just take it, please. So I don't have money. So I can't go in the drug store and buy anything."
"You gotta answer my question. Is this a thought or a plan that you've got in your head?"
"I'm not sure. I just think- I mean, I feel like I could do it. Maybe I wouldn't."
"But you don't know if you would or not?"
"No. Cause I get to feeling so much like I want to."
"Okay. I'll hang onto the cash for you for right now, if it'll make you feel safer."
"Are you pissed at me?"
Darry laid a hand on Soda's back, hearing the pain in his own voice that shook from the emotion pent up within. "No. I'm not. Damn it, Soda. Don't you think you'd be able to tell if I were pissed at you right now? The only thing I am is sad. And scared too. But, hell, I'd rather hear all this from you than something happen. I'd rather you see what's going on in your mind and admit it than hide it and do much worse than go look for medicine that turns out to be gone. I mean it when I say I love you, Pepsi Cola. That's not something I ever expected to have to say to you this much. But if it's what you need me to do, if you need to keep hearing me say it, I'll tell you every damn day til you get through this. I'll keep telling you I love you, and I'm here for you until there's no more fear and no more doubt."
"Just wait out here, Dad. I'll be right back."
Nicholas watched Steve slide out of the passenger side, the car parked in front of the Curtis' house. "Okay, Son. Come get me, if you need to."
Steve nodded, as he closed the car door, before making his way up the porch steps. He peeked in the window, seeing it was mostly dark in the house, then eased the unlocked front door open. He went inside, quiet, as he looked around for any sign of Soda or his brothers. Not seeing any of them in the living room, Steve took a seat on the couch. Relax, he told himself. This feeling doesn't mean anything is actually wrong. It might mean nothing. So much has been going on with Soda that maybe I just-
"Stevie?"
Steve drew in a breath, relieved to see Soda coming down the hallway. "Hey, buddy."
Soda stepped into the living room, concern coloring his eyes and expression. "It's kinda late. You haven't shown up at night like this since you and your dad have been good with each other."
"Yeah. He's actually out in the car right now."
"Huh? Why?"
Steve held his hand out to Soda. "Come here, man."
Soda went over to the couch and sat down, immediately feeling his best friend's arm go around his shoulders. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"I came over to check on you cause I had a really bad feeling, buddy. I'm not sure what I thought, but I was scared and needed to see you're okay. Maybe it's crazy, but I had to cause cause I felt so much like something wasn't right."
"It ain't crazy. It ain't crazy at all."
Hearing the soft tone of Soda's voice and seeing that he was now looking away from him, Steve felt the now-familiar tug return. "Soda?"
"Yeah?"
"Did I have that feeling for a reason?"
"Yeah. I've been kinda like I was that one night you stayed over here. I talked to Darry about it."
"So how are you now?"
"Better maybe. I don't know. I got real scared telling him some of what I did, but I haven't been crying like that night. I've just been saying a lot of stuff."
Steve leaned his forehead against Soda's shoulder. "Oh, buddy. I'm sorry."
"I told Darry about, you know, what I told you yesterday."
"Okay. Good."
"I think telling him about that helped me cause I didn't like keeping it from him. And then, I guess I had to anyway cause of how I've been feeling tonight. It was just making it worse."
"You going to be all right the rest of the night?"
"I think so. Just needed to get it all out, you know? And Darry was exactly how I needed him to be about everything I said to him."
Steve drew Soda into a hug, something still tugging on his spirit and making doubt lace every part of his heart. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, Stevie. I'm sure." Soda let his head rest on Steve's shoulder, resisting the pull to be more transparent. "You've got school and everything tomorrow. Maybe I ain't exactly okay. But I'll get through tonight."
Steve pulled away, his hands on Soda's shoulders, as he looked at him. "Shit, buddy. I just can't shake this feeling. But I guess it's because I did need to come check on you. I wasn't wrong, even if I did think something worse could be happening."
"I know exactly the kind of feeling you're talking about. But I'm getting better. Go home and get some sleep. Tell your dad I'm okay too."
"I will." Steve got to his feet, looking out the window to see Nicholas was now on the front porch. Hesitating, he turned back to Soda. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay."
"You know this, but you can always tell me anything, buddy."
"Yeah. I know that."
The feeling he had inside still not resolved, Steve glanced outside at his dad, before sitting back down on the edge of the couch.
"You can go, Steve. I know your dad's waiting for you."
Steve fixed his gaze on Soda's face, his eyes intent, as they locked with those of his best friend. "Anything, man. No matter how bad it is or how bad it sounds. I want you to tell me. We've talked a hell of a lot, but there's no limit."
Soda found himself fidgeting under Steve's gaze, then looked down at his lap. "I know."
"I'm not sure why, man. But I just- I have to say I'll be right here to be your best friend and your brother and to remind you I love you, no matter what happens." Steve touched Soda's shoulder, leaning his head to catch his best friend's eyes once more. "I'm still going to have your back, no matter how tough it gets."
"I ain't trying to make things any harder than they already are, Dar. I know you gotta look after both of us, and Pony's only thirteen."
Darry sighed at Soda's words, beckoning him over to the couch, where he was attempting to relax. "I know that, Sodapop. I've never said you were. I just need you to be as responsible as you can."
Soda dropped down beside Darry, reaching out to massage his brother's back, as he often did lately after a long day at work. "I'm trying. I'm going to do my best for both of you, okay? That's all I want."
Darry felt Soda's fingers knead the muscles in his back and shoulders, the pressure soothing them. "I know. But while you do your best, I still need you to listen to me. I'm your guardian now, and that's not just on paper. It's real, little buddy."
"Yeah. I hear you."
"Do you like it at the DX? If you don't-"
"No. I do like it, Darry. I mean, I work with Steve sometimes, and Mr. Coleman is about the best boss any guy could want. I'm glad I got the job."
"You're sure about this?"
"Yes. I've been sure. I know you don't like it right now, Darry, but it's what I want. I need to help us stay together. Cause I sure don't want me or Pony to ever be anywhere else, except right here in this house with you."
Darry stared out his bedroom window, the night playing on repeat within his mind, Soda's words like resounding echoes. "God, I really don't know what you want from me this time. Maybe I'm not the best at showing it, but I've always believed in you." He again heard voices carry through his slightly open door, easily recognizing them as Steve and Soda's, though he wasn't able to make out what they were saying.
Darry stepped into the hallway, then peeked into Pony's room, seeing his youngest brother was fast asleep. Thank God, he thought. He doesn't need to know any more than he already does. Quietly easing the door closed, Darry followed the sound of the voices and found Soda and Steve in the living room.
Steve nodded at Darry, as he got up off the couch. "Hey, Superman." He still had his hand on Soda's shoulder, as he spoke to him again. "I'm really going this time. I'll see you tomorrow, buddy. Probably at lunch."
Soda glanced at Darry, then looked over at Steve, barely meeting his eyes, as he gave him a grin. "Okay. See you then."
Darry watched Steve hesitate for a moment, before seeing him go toward the front door, his own feet then moving past Soda to follow his brother's best friend outside. "Hey, Steve?"
Steve stopped on the porch, turning to see Darry behind him. "Yeah?"
Darry closed the door, as he stepped outside, seeing Nicholas also there with them. "I'm not sure what made you come over tonight, especially not both of you. But there's something I wanted to say anyway, so I'm glad you did."
Steve dropped down to sit on the top step, not surprised when Nicholas joined him. "I just had a bad feeling, Darry. I still do. Like I told Soda, I can't shake it."
Darry came to stand near Steve, leaning back on the post beside the porch steps. "Well, I can see how that would be, even if I don't understand how it could happen. Soda hasn't been okay tonight. He's been scaring me. But what I wanted to say is thank you, Steve. For always looking out for him. I'm not one who's good at admitting when I'm out of my element. But this... Hell, I am out of my element when it comes to Soda talking about dying."
Nicholas rested a hand on Steve's back, as he looked up at Darry. "I felt that way too when Steve first talked to me about that sort of stuff. But I bet you're doing better than you give yourself credit for."
Steve opened his mouth to agree with his dad, but heard the front door open and turned to see Soda. "Oh. Hey again, man."
Darry spoke up, seeing Soda's eyes scanning each of the three people out on the porch. "Hey, little buddy. I thought maybe you headed to bed."
Soda slowly stepped outside, his gaze bouncing between Darry and Steve. "You're all out here talking about me, aren't you? You just left me sitting on the couch, so you could-"
Darry interrupted, seeing the distraught expression on his brother's face. "No, Soda. I just wanted to tell Steve thanks for looking out for you."
Steve chimed in, as he stood up. "Yeah, buddy. We've just talked about how to be here for you. That's all."
Soda felt something break within him, the night's stress beginning to reach a peak. "Well, you know what? Soon, there ain't going to be anything to talk about. I'm not doing this anymore. You guys all sit here and tell me how you love me. But it's still not enough! It'll never be enough to make this better!"
Steve took a few steps toward Soda and reached for his shoulders. "What does that mean, man? Why will there not be anything to talk about?"
Soda's eyes met Steve's for hardly a second, before he looked at Darry. "It is a plan, Dar. It is! Okay?"
Darry felt his entire being freeze inside, his mind going back to his earlier question to Soda.
Steve's hands remained on Soda's shoulders, his grip growing tighter. "Buddy, keep talking to us. Whatever plan you've got doesn't mean you have to act on it."
Nicholas stood up and went to be right behind Steve. "That's right, Sodapop. And what you just said, we all do love you, and it's more than enough if you're here talking to us about this."
Darry snapped out of his daze and went to his brother's side. "Soda, it'll be okay, little buddy. Just because you're thinking this right now doesn't mean you can't get through it."
Steve found himself staring at Soda's eyes, noticing how they were completely free of tears. "That's right too, man. Me and you can still talk like we did that one night. Even if you've got a plan in your mind, it's not too late. I meant what I said a little bit ago. No matter how tough it gets, I'm here for you, and you can still say anything you need to say, just like you did before. I promise you, buddy. You're doing exactly the right thing."
Soda lifted both hands to hold onto Steve's wrists. "Go home, Stevie. You've got school tomorrow and work." His eyes shifted to his big brother. "Go to bed, Dar. I know you're already tired cause of me, and you don't deserve that."
Darry stepped closer to Soda and touched his face, his voice firm, even as it wobbled. "You look at me right now, Pepsi Cola."
Soda only shook his head and moved out of Steve's grip. "No, Darry. I've been a burden to you since Mom and Dad died. I've never been enough. Not for you and not for Pony."
Darry felt his mouth drop open, his eyes widening, as he took in the pain of Soda's words that went beyond his comprehension. "Soda, no. That's not true. You could never be a burden. There's so much I never could've done without you. I still can't do it without you."
Soda looked at Nicholas, his mind changing gears, even as despair continued to speak for him. "Take Steve home. Please. I want him to take care of himself. He's been spending so much time with me, and I don't want him to get hurt."
Nicholas shared a look with Steve, his son's expression one of determination tangling with pain. "Sodapop, don't you know that helping you through this is part of Steve taking care of himself? Nothing would hurt him more than to leave you right now. What would you do if he was in your shoes? If he was talking this way tonight, could you go?"
Steve went over to Soda again and took his arm, pulling him to sit down beside him on the porch swing. "Yeah, buddy. You wouldn't leave me, and I'm not leaving you. What if I'd come to you before I overdosed and told you I was planning to go to the drug store and buy pills, so I could take them all? What would you have done?"
Soda felt Steve's hand grasp his own and held on to it, the coldness inside him still searching for warmth. "I would have told you please don't do it. Cause I couldn't stand to lose you. I would've told you to talk to me and your dad and Laura. I would've stayed with you til you felt better."
Steve squeezed Soda's hand, a wave of relief rolling through him when he saw his best friend's eyes were no longer dry. "Yeah. I know that's what you'd do now too, buddy."
Darry took his place on Soda's other side and combed his fingers through his brother's hair. "Don't lose yourself in this, Sodapop. I know it feels like you already have, but everything you said to me in the house earlier and all you've said out here is your way of reaching out. You're doing that because you're falling and needing us to catch you. And you know we will."
Soda turned his head to look at Darry, as he grasped the front of his t-shirt. "Even when I feel like I don't want you to, you catch me every time. Did you take the wallet, like I told you?"
Darry held onto Soda's hand that still gripped his shirt, as he nodded. "I took the money out, except for a couple dollars and some change, then put it back on your dresser."
Soda's gaze moved to Steve, his voice growing quiet. "Can we go in my room and talk, Stevie? Just me and you?"
Steve gave Soda's hand another squeeze, then released it. "Sure we can, man."
Soda looked back at Darry. "Is that okay with you? Me just talking to Steve now?"
Darry shared a look with Steve, a silent understanding passing between them, as it did so often now. "Of course, little buddy. It's more than okay with me. Whatever helps the most."
Steve got to his feet and pulled Nicholas aside, keeping his voice low. "Dad, I can't leave him tonight. At all. I knew that bad feeling I got was real."
Nicholas drew Steve a little closer, his arm around his son. "I know you can't. But please, Son, if you get too overwhelmed, come talk to me. I don't want you to start having a hard time too. I know this is a lot."
Steve leaned on Nicholas for a few moments, savoring the closeness. "It is, but it'd be even harder not to be here, you know? You were right with what you said about me taking care of myself. You can go home if you want, okay? But I'm going to stay here all night."
A door closed, its click closing them off from the rest of the world, leaving the knit-together souls to find Heaven within Hell.
