Chapter Fifteen

I shoved Tokyo University's brochure to the other side of the desk, so sick of having it in my face. My father was not subtle at all in that this was the college he wanted me to attend. His forcefulness made me even less willing. With the pre-test being tomorrow, the weight of it in my mind was heavy.

To clear my head, I picked up a book. Reading was the only non-stressful task I could complete in recent days. But the thoughts slowly trickled back into my mind. What was so wrong with that if I didn't want to go to college?

There was a knock at my door. Hopefully it wasn't my father or mother.

"Yes?" I said. Thankfully, it was Aihara who answered back (and I never thought I'd be thankful to hear her answer back over anyone else, but I was).

"Can I bother you for a minute?" She asked as she snuck through the door and closed it. Wanting to think of anything other than college, I nodded and put down my book.

Aihara placed a cloth charm on the desk in front of me.

"I made this for you."

Good luck on the exams! The charm said. Of course. I would have rathered that she came to me with homework difficulties than anything about college right now.

"The pre-test is tomorrow, so I thought you could use some good luck. You are taking it, aren't you?" Her lips turned upward in a bright smile. She didn't expect any of this from me. Matter of fact, I was sure she would've preferred that we went to the same college, but she was genuinely excited for me. If only I was as excited for me as she was, maybe I would actually have the drive to go to college.

"I submitted the application." I said.

"Good. I think that would make your parents very happy, unless you had a different school in mind. It gives my father a hard time that I can't go to a big college. You're lucky."

Lucky. I thought. Maybe I was lucky, maybe taking it for granted. And then there were people like her who didn't have a choice. To skip the exam or not go to college would be like a slap in the face to her, who could only choose one college.

"Well, that's it. See you later." She said as she went to leave.

"What are you planning to do in college?" I asked. She faced me and confusion settled over her.

"Study. And meet people and experience new things." She said.

"So, you're going to go there to study, which you don't enjoy doing in the first place," She stared at me with a blank expression, "I don't understand why everyone is so desperate to go to college."

"It's for smart people, like you, to learn more and get better at things." Aihara returned to my side at the desk.

"I don't want to go to college. I can learn by myself what is taught there with no problem." I said.

"But if there's something you want to do in the future… a career or job… you need qualifications for it." Careers, jobs… there they were, being brought up again. It wasn't as though I had a choice when it came to that since my father was practically forcing his company on me. Yet another reason I didn't need to go to college.

"What do you want to do?" I asked Aihara, curious.

"I don't know…" she said, as I'd expected, "but… oh, I know! You figure it out when you're in college." Her face brightened when she figured out the answer to the question, radiating happiness and warmth.

"Irie-kun, you shouldn't use your smart brain just for yourself. You should utilize it for the better of Japan." Her great smile did something different for me than before. It calmed me. Not even just a little. It calmed me a lot.

"You're amazing," I said and the words seemed to shock her, "I've always wondered 'why is it that she puts her whole self into everything she does… yet still she can't do it?'. I was impressed." The way she was was admirable, a place where everyone should strive to be. To try your best at everything you could possibly do and be happy about doing it.

"Are you being sarcastic?" Aihara asked.

"I wish I could be more like that." Before now, before I knew her, there had never been anything I wanted to be because I already had everything. I'd never had any goals, but this was something I wasn't. Her positivity was something I didn't possess, but something I wanted to have.

I realized then that I might've said too much, "I have to get up early tomorrow so I better get to sleep now."

"Right. Goodnight," Aihara said, beaming at me. She picked the charm up from the desk and brought it over to my school bag, "I'll just tie this on real quick." In a split second, the charm was tied onto my bag and she left for the night.