Chapter Eighteen
I couldn't sleep. There was still something bugging me about going to Tonan University. I wanted to go there exactly. Nowhere else had come close to crossing my mind. I couldn't figure it out.
It was so late out, but I dressed and grabbed my coat to leave the house. Maybe the cool air would help me to clear my mind, and a walk help me to sleep. Making sure I had a few dollars in my pocket, I crept downstairs and out the front door.
Cold air ripped through the trees and bit my ears. By the looks of it, it would be snowing sometime soon. But I would take my time with this walk. I didn't want to be in the house right now even if it was going to snow.
I took off for the sidewalk and began walking into town to buy a can of coffee. Even though I'd escaped the confines of the house, I'd had yet to escape my bewilderment and wandering thoughts.
Tonan… why there? There were many small colleges around here, so why that specific one? For the last two days since Kotoko came home from the hospital, it was all I thought about. It was an itch I couldn't scratch, a memory I couldn't jog.
And I hated it with every fibre of my being.
Not knowing was something that never happened to me. I always knew… equations, birthdays, names, faces, languages, and so many more things…
I wreaked havoc in my brain searching for an answer, coming up as short as I had when I left the house.
No, I said to myself, no more thinking about it.
Coming to a little gas station, I had luck momentarily shaking the thought away. A bell rung as I stepped through the door and I sucked in warmth, already preparing myself for when I would have to go back out.
I selected my can of decaf coffee from the vending machine and made my way for the door. With the heat from the can of coffee to warm my hands, outside wasn't so bad. A couple of snowflakes fell.
Heading for home, I was slow. I didn't want to go back yet, but there was nowhere else I could go. Half of the trip went and I'd had yet to open the can of coffee. The warmth was good enough this way.
I'd almost begun thinking again when I saw someone up ahead of me, and then I recognized who it was just from the way they walked.
Kotoko. What's she doing out here?
A suitcase trailed behind her. I pieced together what she was doing and it was stupid. Such awful decision-making but it was so her. I should've expected as much.
"It's cold." She mumbled to herself.
"Then do you want to hold a can of coffee?" She spun around, startled. I held the can, my only source of warmth, out for her to take. She cuddled into it.
"Thanks… what are you doing out?" She said.
"I couldn't sleep, so I'm taking a walk," I said, "You're running away, right?"
She bit her lip, "Don't try to stop me. I don't want to cause you any more trouble."
"I'm not stopping you." She looked hurt.
"Then goodbye." Kotoko said and started to walk off with my coffee.
"Is it because I didn't take that exam?" I said and she stopped.
"I bring you bad luck. I heard from Watanabe from Class A about what happened during the pre-test." She faced me with an apologetic frown. But the only person that should've been sorry was Watanabe for telling her that, and now she was running away because of it. I'd kept it to myself for this specific reason.
"You might be right. You cause all of this trouble, but it was kind of fun," She ogled at me, "I've never been so nervous. It was an incredible experience."
"But what about the Tokyo University exam?"
"That wasn't your fault. I would have had plenty of time to make it there after the hospital."
"Then why?"
I knew then. It hit me so hard it was as if a baseball bat had struck me across the back of the head. A weight lifted off of my shoulders. It was because of her that I wanted to go to Tonan.
"I didn't want to go to Tokyo University in the first place. You said that you go to college for new experiences, and it's been fun getting nervous and excited around you. Tonan just feels like the place to be, and there's nothing specific I want to do at a big college."
Her frown turned upside down, "So… you chose the same college because of me?" Just her saying it, even though I essentially already had, irritated me.
So what?
"No, that's not what I meant," I reclaimed my coffee, "If you're going to leave, then just go. Good Luck."
"Wait! Could I stay at your house for a little longer? I promise I won't cause any more trouble!" Kotoko said hopefully.
"As if you wouldn't cause any trouble. Be realistic."
She grinned, sucking up, "Then I promise to bring you an exciting life."
"Wow," I said, "It wasn't hard to change your mind." I continued home. Snow kicked in full gear. Good thing I wasn't far from home.
Kotoko skipped up to me, "It's Valentine's Day today." She said.
"What, do you have chocolate to give me?" It wouldn't have surprised me. I wouldn't have been able to eat it either, if she'd made it. And even if it was bought, I didn't have the taste for sweets.
"Sorry, no," she said, "Were you expecting one?"
"Not really." I said. She was such a liar. There was no way she hadn't made something. That was her thing.
At home, Kotoko banged on up the stairs with her suitcase. I shedded my coat and migrated to the kitchen. I would have to see it to believe it.
Sure enough, upon opening the refrigerator door, there sat a small pink box with a bow on it. That would be it.
"So, there is one."
I opened the box onto a homemade chocolate heart with the words "congratulations on passing the Tokyo University exam!" written across it. Simply for the sake of it, I took a bite. The chocolate was clumpy and hard. The taste was strange and sort of sour.
"Awful." I said, choking down the bite.
After choking it down, I set the chocolate back in the box and admired it. She must've worked hard on this inedible piece of candy. There truly was no one more hard-working than her… not even myself.
I packaged the chocolate back up and brought it upstairs with me where I stored it next to the charm she'd made.
