Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Quicker!" I shouted as I tossed a ball at her from in front of the net. This was as far as she'd gotten in a week. Her posture was okay, as were her returns, but it was her serving that needed some more fixing.

Kotoko hit it over the net, though it went out of bounds. Good enough.

"You're going to be practicing serving for the rest of the night." I wheeled the basket-full of tennis balls over to her side and propped myself up on the chain link to watch and critique.

"You think I'm good enough at hitting back?" She asked. I shrugged.

"It'll do," I said. She shone her brilliant smile at me, "Not too stiff and not too loose." I told her as she picked a ball and positioned to serve. She looked good for having started learning everything from scratch a week ago.

Kotoko tossed it in the air, swung the racket, and the ball fell straight to the ground.

"You're swinging too quickly. Wait for it to get low enough before you swing." Kotoko nodded and tried again and thrice more, each except for the last being a miss.

"Your timing is still way off. Count to two each time after you throw, then swing."

She held the ball out in front of her, took a breath, and threw it up.

"One," she counted and positioned her racket, "Two." She swung and caught the ball. It flew across the net and way out of bounds.

"You're hitting it too high. Tilt your racket down a little more when you hit." I instructed.

"Right." Now, she served a ball that hit the net. And again and again.

"Too low. You're thinking too hard." I sighed.

"I'm sorry," Kotoko said, her brows knitting together, "I'm no good at this."

"Let's just keep practicing. Maybe a miracle will happen." I said. Kotoko bit her lip and repositioned to serve.

"One," she threw the ball, "Two," She hit it over the net and it went out of bounds.

"Where are you aiming? Again."

Kotoko got her feet into the right place and rolled her shoulders and held the ball out.

"One," She tossed it into the air, "Two!" The ball soared over the net and bounced twice on the pavement before going out of bounds. She'd finally done it.

At first she simply stared at the ball across the court and then she squealed with accomplishment.

"I did it!" She shouted into the sky and danced around, completely over the moon about doing something anyone could learn in five minutes.

Kotoko threw her arms out and spun in a circle, stopping dizzily. I watched her, admiring her drive and absolute happiness.
A broad grin painted rose onto the cheeks already bitten by the cold as she caught her balance. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her.

God, I love her.

I froze.

What? I asked myself, though the little voice in my head had gone silent. I was rendered speechless. I gaped at her, outraged and shocked. I knew it for a fact, then. Something in my head clicked, the feeling you get when you remember something important.

No. I argued at myself, NO. But there was no question about it, I supposed. Arguing wouldn't change it.

I loved her… Kotoko.

I snapped out of it when I realized she'd stopped celebrating and was peering at me apprehensively.

"Irie-kun…?" She said and I broke my limbs out of their frozen shock, grabbing a ball from the basket.

"It's great that you have so many things to be excited about," I said and served it perfectly, "Sometimes I envy you for that."

Kotoko was quick to smile at me again, "Maybe you should try to find something that makes you happier, then. Like a new hobby!" She offered, but I had nothing left to say.

"Come on… Go again. You need to learn this by the end of the night." I said calmly.

"Okay." She served many more balls, not as many being a flop. But actually, I wasn't paying attention to the serves. I was paying attention to her. Her movements, her smile, the encouraging comments she made to herself…

In an instant, I could understand every little confused emotion I felt toward her and how I felt when she left. All of this left me suddenly bursting at the seams with awareness. I was truly captivated by her.

Kotoko made a correct serve and looked back to me for approval, "Looks good. I think we can be done for tonight. See you at the match tomorrow." I said and Kotoko flashed me one last grin as she hopped off to get changed.

I felt warm, the image sending a tingling through me. I hated it. I didn't want this. After this long hard battle with her over this very issue, and I was losing. For once in my life, I didn't know what to do.

With that, I went home to my mother who couldn't find it in her to spare me of some suspicious looks. There also was that problem. I'd battled my mother on this issue as well. To admit defeat would be like allowing her to control me my entire life. That was the last thing I wanted after I felt I'd finally began taking hold of my life and steering it in a direction I wanted.

This… whatever it was… it threw a knot into things.

I showered and went to bed, but I wasn't tired. I was wide awake with intrusive thoughts. I loved Kotoko.

The thought annoyed me, but it did ring true. Again, my life was out of my own hands. Because now I couldn't get her out of my head, not for a second. For a single moment, I'd allowed my mind to take the backseat and I'd learned what I really felt about her. No more logical explanations or lies to myself, but the truth. What else was there I hadn't told myself about, I wondered.

A/N: would've posted sooner, but got sick. You may have a different idea of when you think he realized his feelings, but this is just mine. Hope you enjoyed. :)