Pain.
Nothing but pain.
Throbbing.
Consuming.
Every heartbeat was like a hammer, pounding out a rhythm of searing heat that centered around Alex's palm. If she moved her hand at all, it felt like it was tearing from the inside-out. The pounding grew more intense as it traveled further up her arm until it reached her chest, jarring her awake from her shock-induced slumber.
She opened her eyes; weakly at first, her lids struggling to flutter open. They came slowly into focus, adjusting painfully to the dim light of her surroundings. When she blinked again, she was unsure of where she was. Panic flooded her chest as she tried to move her arms, but only one responded.
That's when she remembered what happened, and she screamed in terror.
"I'm here, Alexis! I'm here. Shhhh, it's okay."
James.
Her eyes struggled to focus on his face. He was there, but she couldn't quite see him. She felt his large hands on her shoulders, guiding her gently back against the pillows. "What...where am I..."
"Steve!"
His call was frantic; his energy scattered. It made Alex feel woozy, like her stomach and her mind were teetering on the edge of consciousness. "James..."
"I'm here, doll. You're gonna be alright."
"My hand..." She tried to reach out to him.
Her right hand.
She couldn't feel it.
She couldn't move it.
Bucky stroked her forehead and Alex felt his mouth connect with her temple; his lips warm and soothing. "You're gonna be okay. I'm not leaving you."
His breath was warm against her ear. She felt her eyes clouding with tears. "James..." Her breath caught in her throat. "James, what's wrong with my hand?"
"We're gonna get that fixed, doll. One thing at a time." He turned his head towards the door. "STEVE."
She felt so woozy. Her stomach ached, and the pain...the pain in her hand, radiating through her arm to her shoulder. "Oh God, it hurts, James." Her tears came on stronger, and she felt Bucky's hand wipe them away.
"I know, just hold on, okay? You've been so strong."
The features of his face started to fade further. Alex tried to reach for him again, but her hand wouldn't move. Her fingers felt impossibly numb, but the stabbing, jarring pain was ever-present in the center of her palm. Heaviness pulled at her, dragging her back into that dark place she'd just come from. She didn't want to go back there. She didn't want this pain.
Somewhere on the other side of the room, she felt the air shift. Someone else was there, but her eyesight continued to fade as the pain increased.
Muffled voices.
Movement.
She was slipping...slipping...
And then it was as if someone opened a door and let the air back into her lungs. Her consciousness came flooding back so quickly it knocked her body back to life, her eyes opening wide as she took in a huge gulp for air. Her eyesight cleared, and for the first time she looked around and saw not just Bucky there with her, but Steve and Fury too. And then the pain began to subside; beginning first in her shoulder and then melting downward toward the hand she couldn't quite feel.
Bucky sat in the chair next to the bed and took her good hand and caressed it with his own. Her eyes met his and it was like she was seeing them again for the first time. Large. Expressive. Worried. "James..."
Something flashed beneath the surface of his tight expression, easing the lines around his eyes. "Hey doll." His mouth lifted at the corner. "How do you feel?"
"Horrible." Alex looked at Steve and Fury standing nearby. "And like I wound up in some twisted version of Wizard of Oz."
Steve and Fury broke into smiles. "Good to have ya back, Markos" Steve told her.
She desperately wanted to adjust her position on the bed, but her whole right side was either a mixture of numbness or pain. Bucky was right there, though; caressing her head, pacifying her worries with his touch. "What happened? Where are we?" she asked.
"Still in DC" Bucky answered. "Currently at Fury's place. We just gave you an injection which should help the pain for a while."
"Something special I keep for just these occasions" Fury added, a twinkle present in his good eye.
Alex closed her eyes and sighed. The warm feeling traveled further down her arm to her hand and soothed her. She tried to catch her breath for a moment and relish in the small amount of relief she was feeling, but it felt like everyone in the room was waiting for her to talk.
Steve nudged Bucky in the shoulder. "We'll let you two be alone. If you need anything, we'll be downstairs." He gave a smile to Alexis before leaving, with Fury not far behind. He closed the door behind him, and then Bucky and Alex were alone.
Bucky scooted his chair closer to the bed, his hand never leaving Alex's head. He continued to caress her hair, his touch tender and steady. Since he was on her left side, the side she could feel and move, Alex reached out and stroked his chin, feeling the roughness of his short beard along her fingers. "Seems you saved me again, Soldier."
Bucky dipped his chin, humbled by her words. His eyes lifted with a bit of hesitance. "It didn't feel that way when I first found you. You had me scared there for a while."
If Alex let her mind wander back to the events, she knew she would find the answers about what happened and why she ended up in Fury's house with a hand that couldn't move. Fear tightened its hold on her chest when she thought about it. "It's bad, isn't it?" she asked.
He shook his head. "Nothing that can't be fixed." His thumb brushed along her hairline before slowly trailing down her temple. "We're heading back to New York soon. Banner's getting the Cradle ready to help stitch you back together."
The Cradle. The regrafting machine Alex wished she would never have to use as an Avenger. She supposed that had been a fool's wish; a wish only a new and inexperienced person would make. She wasn't new anymore, and she certainly wasn't invincible from needing to use a machine that would regrow her own cells. It was the process that freaked her out. She knew how the Cradle had been manipulated during the events of Ultron, but Banner had restructured the machine after that whole deal and ensured it was better than ever. In the position she was in now, Alex was glad such a machine existed.
As if sensing her unease, Bucky leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. There was something in the way that Bucky kissed her that blocked every other thought from of her brain. Even now, his lips were unfairly soft; tender in a way that fed Alex's soul and gave her the strength she so desperately needed.
When Bucky pulled away, he pressed his forehead to hers as they'd done a thousand times before, but Alex felt an increased sense of gratitude through his energy.
"You're gonna be okay, Alexis" he whispered. "I promise."
"You've always been good at keeping promises." She gazed deeply into the turbulent ocean that were his eyes and smiled. "So I know you must be right."
Bucky kissed her again, and Alex opened her mouth to the feel of his tongue against hers. There was a promise in his kiss as well. There always was. Right now, Alex wanted him to repeat that promise over and over, quenching her need to feel him and feel the security he provided. Out of habit, she tried to raise her right hand to touch his face, but it remained numb and unmoving next to her side. Fear began to trickle back into her psyche. Flashes of the events on the roof came flooding back, filling her mind and bringing the return of anxiety back to her body.
Bucky felt the change in Alex's embrace and pulled away, studying the pain that was now written all over her face. "What is it?"
She shook her head, tears clouding her eyes. "I'm afraid to even look at it, James. I know it's bandaged right now, but..."
"You don't have to look. Focus on me, instead."
Alex let her tears fall when she saw Bucky's smile. It was fragile, but hopeful. Most of all, she could see the understanding behind it. Out of everyone in the entire group of Avengers, he knew what it was like to be in her position right now. His quiet strength was something Alex always admired about him, but now she wished she shared some of it. She was a storm of emotion, and Bucky was her rock.
He brushed away the tears that clung to the edge of her jaw. "If it would help to talk about what happened, I'll listen. Sooner or later, Fury's going to want to know what happened, but you don't have to talk about it now if it makes you feel worse."
Alex felt the burn of another round of fresh tears. "What happened to my hand...it's my fault." She saw the reflexive disappointment in Bucky's gaze and continued before he could comment. "I lost control on the roof. I read that man's mind and completely lost myself in what I saw. I went too deep into his memories and he used it against me. I don't know how, but..." She blinked and her tears tumbled down her cheeks. "Somehow, he could still move while I was locked on to him."
Hurt filled Bucky's gaze. "This is not your fault. Nothing that man did to you is your fault."
"But if I hadn't lost control-"
"-It's not your fault."
His voice was calm and his tone even. There wasn't an ounce of anger in it, only a need for her to understand what he was saying. He reached up and cupped her cheek, and Alex leaned willfully into his touch. The feel of Bucky's hands brought her to a place of comfort; a place she needed right now, despite the pain and numbness radiating in her right side. She closed her eyes, but all she could see were the visions inside that agent's mind. They flashed in a painful sequence of betrayal, the events of the evening driven by Claudia Burke.
The moment Alex had seen her in the agent's memory was the moment she began to lose herself to her power. Claudia was the woman who spoke to her about Bucky just the other day, posing as one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s branch officers. She was the one who orchestrated the ambush and ordered those men to follow and provoke Bucky while they were out. To isolate him and try to take him down and to use any means necessary to do it. And worst of all, she'd seen Claudia ordering those agents to take her down as well.
That's when she'd lost control, and that's when the agent had struck. He removed his knife and drove the blade as deep as he could through her palm and out the other side. The sheer agony had pulled her back from his memories and into the present moment faster than she was used to, and the force with which her powers slammed back into her chest hurt almost as much as the blade did. The agent slashed at her once more, cutting a deep gash near her fingers when she tried to block the awkward thrust of his knife.
In a moment of disbelief marked by immense pain, Alex hadn't really known what hit her. She didn't know how the agent had enough control to take his knife out and slash her free hand, but he'd done it. Never in her history of pulling, mirroring, or borrowing from an enemy had any of them ever fought back. For this very reason, she believed it was her fault for not paying attention. She could see no other reason besides that for what happened to her.
Bucky leaned in closer, his metal hand slipping around to cup the back of her neck. "Talk to me, Alexis. I can see you're inside your mind right now, but you don't need to be. Let me be the relief you need."
"You've already been that relief," she answered with a tired smile. The underlying strength in the metal hand on her neck was matched only by the gentleness with which Bucky used it. It always amazed her how he could turn something so distinctly lethal into something softer than even his flesh hand. It comforted her to feel it; it was a part of him that she loved and never feared.
Turning her head on the pillow, Alex took a moment to admire Bucky's handsome face. His rugged good looks were still droopy; a sign of that his lack of sleep may have been catching up to him. "How long have you been awake?"
The corner of his mouth lifted. "You don't need to worry about me."
"You're not allowed to worry about me if I'm not allowed to worry about you." There was a tiny flare of sass in her voice that made Bucky's smirk grow. She raised her good hand, letting her fingers play with the ends of his hair. He was blessed with the softest hair, no matter what he did (or didn't) do with it. It made her smile, if only a little.
"There's that smile I love so much." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Rest now while Fury's medicine is working. I'll be here with you the entire time, even if you fall asleep."
"But you need sleep, too-"
"-Shhh, baby, just rest."
He placed light kisses along her temple down to her cheek, and Alex was soon lulled into a restful state. She tried to focus on the way his hand felt on her neck or in her hair as he smoothed it back in a slow petting motion. It was the first bit of relief she felt since she awoke, and she didn't want it to end.
"I'll be here with you" Bucky repeated. "Whenever you wake up again, I'll be here."
Alex sighed and felt her chest becoming heavier and heavier. Her breathing slowed with each of Bucky's gentle strokes; his words like a protective blanket about her weary mind.
Bucky kept another of his promises as Alex fell asleep. He stayed with her and fought off his own tiredness to watch over her and make sure he was there when the next wave of pain and terror woke her.
He'd been in this position before, after all. No one had been with him then, so he swore Alexis would never have to feel the way he had all those decades ago.
An hour later, Steve climbed the stairs to the spare bedroom where Alex was resting. He listened outside the door for voices, but heard nothing. He lightly rapped on the door with his knuckle. "You guys alright in there? Need anything?"
No answer.
A spike of fear tingled the back of his neck. He was about to open the door a crack to calm his own worries when Bucky appeared. He stepped out into the hallway after glancing back to be sure Alex was still asleep. "Hey, Steve."
"Everything alright in there?"
Bucky rubbed his face tiredly. "Yeah, she fell asleep again, which is good. Seems the medicine helped for now."
Steve eyed his friend with concern. Bucky looked like hell. His eyes were dark, cupped by fleshy pouches that showed his weariness. His face was paler than usual, and his usual proud stance had buckled a little. "You need to sleep, Buck."
He gave him a passive look. "I'm fine."
"Have you eaten?"
"No, but neither has she."
Steve cocked his head. "You can't take care of her if you don't take care of yourself first." He placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder and leveled with him. "She's going to be okay."
A muscle tightened near Bucky's jaw. He had that look on his face like he was either on the verge of crying or tearing someone's life apart with his bare hands. Steve recognized it as the look Bucky had whenever he was truly afraid. He understood why he felt this way, but he also understood that Bucky wasn't invincible, either. No matter how much super serum he had running through his blood, he was still human and needed to take care of himself.
"I have a question," Bucky began, his voice echoing the fear Steve saw evident in the rest of his expression. "The Cradle...It grafts skin cells, right?"
"Right."
"But can it graft nerves or nerve endings?"
Steve hesitated. "You'd have to ask Banner-"
"-It doesn't." Bucky's look of fear intensified as he lowered his voice. "She has nerve damage, Steve. Extensive nerve damage, in addition to broken bones. I've never heard anyone talk about regeneration of nerves and bones with that thing, have you?"
There were words left unspoken, but Steve could read them in the lines around Bucky's eyes. He stayed looking at him, begging him to say something that would make the fear of the unknown disappear, but Steve didn't know what to say. He didn't know enough about the Cradle or how it worked now, after everything that went on with Ultron. He also never had to use it, given his serum.
"If it's not possible with the Cradle, Banner will find a way to make it work" Steve told him, confidence in his voice. "Trust me; she's in good hands either way. If for some reason Banner can't figure it out, Stark will. There aren't two brains on the planet better than those who can help her."
A tiny bit of relief flickered in Bucky's eyes. He gave Steve a nod; one that said thank you- or maybe it said I hope- Steve wasn't quite sure.
"Fury ordered pizza if you want some." Steve tried to smile, especially when Bucky cast a disapproving side-eye at him.
"Pizza?!"
"He doesn't cook, Buck. He's not trying to throw a party here."
"I'm not hungry." Bucky opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. "I'll let you know when she wakes up in case she needs another one of those injections."
The door closed with a soft click, and Steve was left in the alone once more. He hung his head, wishing there was some way to persuade Bucky to take a break.
For the time, there was nothing he could do. Steve went back downstairs, his mind wondering about the Cradle and its capabilities. They'd find out soon enough, one way or another.
Once he was downstairs, Steve set aside three slices of pizza for Bucky and placed them in Fury's refrigerator. Sooner or later Bucky would have to give in to hunger, and he wanted to make sure he had something for him when that time came.
Alex woke up three more times over the course of five hours. By the fifth hour, Bucky helped her from the bed and walked with her out to Fury's private helipad. They went slowly; her right arm in a sling and Bucky supporting her on her left side. A S.H.I.E.L.D. helicopter was waiting, its blades whirp-whirp-whirping in a slow rhythm as the pilot went through his pre-flight checklist. The wind whipped at Alex's hair, blocking her view as it swirled about her head.
Bucky helped her into the helicopter with the added assistance of Steve, who made sure she was secure and comfortable as he strapped her into her seat. She looked up and smiled; embarrassed but grateful for the help. "Thanks, Steve."
He secured the last strap, careful not to jostle her arm in the process. "My pleasure."
Bucky hoisted himself up into the body of the heli and sat to Alex's left, his eyes scanning her protectively. "Feel okay?"
She nodded as the pilot engaged the engine and the sound of the blades quickly drowned out any further talk between the three Avengers. In the passenger seat, Fury glanced back at Alex and gave her a thumbs-up. She gave one back, wishing she could do so with her other hand.
The helicopter lifted into the sky and left behind the drama in DC...for the time being, at least. Alex stared down at her heavily bandaged hand with a growing sickness in her stomach. A spot of bright red bloomed from the center of her palm, bleeding through the new coverings Bucky had just wrapped around her. She still couldn't feel her fingers, and the only thing she felt resonating from her palm was jarring pain.
Leaning her head back against the headrest, Alex pushed her fears aside and tried to quiet her mind as the helicopter delivered her and the others back to New York. The intense rumble of the aircraft's body sent tremors of pain through her arm and into her destroyed palm, but never into her fingers. Those continued to stay devoid of any sensation.
Despite her best efforts, she couldn't hide the pain from Bucky. He watched the soft features of her face turn rigid, her mouth tight as she bit back the pain she felt from the helicopter's vibration. He slid his metal hand over her thigh and opened it to her, hoping she would take it.
The gesture was all Alex needed. She moved her good hand into his, feeling the metal fingers lace in between hers. For a while, she could bare the pain again. To her surprise, a curl of white light from her powers entwined around their clasped hands, joining them for the rest of the trip back to New York. Because of this, when Alex leaned her head against the headrest and closed her eyes, she was able to fall asleep.
Across from them, Steve looked down at their clasped hands. He smiled to himself; his heart growing a bit larger for the two that sat opposite of him. He kept his gaze out the window thereafter, respectful of their moment no matter how small it was.
When they arrived in New York, it was a flurry of bodies and commotion. By this point, everyone at Headquarters had heard what happened down in DC, so the Avengers who were present there came to see the helicopter touch down. Tony and Bruce were at the helm of those in greeting, providing a stretcher for Alex to relieve her from having to walk from the hanger all the way back to the medic wing.
As helpless and useless as Alexis felt, she was happy to see some of the faces she hadn't even had time to see when she and Bucky returned from their vacation. It meant a lot to her that they cared, especially for her still being the newest member of the team.
Natasha was there; her expression a mixture of scrutiny and humor. She took a step forward as Bucky wheeled Alex away from the helicopter. "I'm starting to sense a pattern here."
Alex smirked. "And what's that?"
"You really need to start inviting me in on these escapades of yours. Seems you're always digging up some action no matter where you go."
It was the first chuckle Alex uttered since the injury. "You're not entirely wrong."
Despite the smile on her face, Nat's eyes turned more serious. She placed a tender hand on Alex's good shoulder and gave a squeeze. "Glad to see you're okay, Markos."
Alex gave her a nod in thanks as Bucky wheeled her past the small crowd. As she was taken to the medic wing and ushered into the room where the Cradle was located, she felt her nerves begin to spike all over again. She didn't want to see her hand. In fact, she dreaded it. More so, she felt her powers hiding inside her. Instead of being at the ready, always just a mental nudge away from being put into use, they waited inside her like fidgety children. Nervous. Unsettled. Scattered. They pulled back into her any time Alex tried to will them out of her, wondering if maybe she could heal a part of herself with her powers. Instead, they held tight to their waiting place deep within in her body, unwilling to show themselves.
That was until Bucky had taken her hand in his. Her white light had willing come through her good hand and wrapped around his, filling her with a calm that almost immediately put her to sleep. She hadn't summoned her powers, she hadn't asked them to connect with him, they just did so automatically...as if recognizing his energy had called them forth on his own.
In the bustle of bodies and electronic devices within the Cradle room, Alex tried to focus on her breathing as she waited. She kept her eyes closed while they readied the machine, only opening them so she could answer Bruce or Tony whenever they asked her questions. She kept them open when Bucky pulled an office chair up to the stretcher where she lay and settled in next to her.
"They're almost ready."
Alex felt her mouth twitch into a fake smile. "Good, because I'm 100% ready to have this done and over with."
Bucky chuckled. "Me too, doll." His eyes looked beyond the stretcher to where Banner was putting on his lab coat and glasses. He wondered if he should do the same, since he was staying through the process. He'd never seen the Cradle in use, and admittedly, he had no idea how any of it worked. The only knowledge he had was from what some of the others had told him about their experiences.
And because of those tales, Bucky felt his anxiety grow with every passing minute. He kept his eyes on Banner, watching him as he prepped the machine for any subtle changes in his demeanor. He watched Stark just as closely; he knew he'd be able to detect any shift or hesitation in them. He'd been trained to do just such a thing, and right now he needed to know if they were confident in what they could do for Alex. If there was even a second's worth of hesitation, he needed to know.
He saw that second's worth of hesitation come when Banner was speaking to Tony privately and his eyes shifted in his direction uneasily. It was only a flicker of movement; something no one else would have noticed, but Bucky was on his feet and moving.
"What is it?" he asked, approaching Stark and Banner. "Something the matter?"
Both of the men stared at him, surprised by his awareness. Though neither spoke, it was as if each were waiting on the other to speak first. Banner broke first. He cast a careful glance towards Alexis before taking his glasses off. "We may, um...need your help."
"I'll do whatever I can." Bucky folded his arms over his chest, waiting on whatever command Banner was set to give. It was clear that Bruce was trying to choose his words wisely before speaking, which was something Bucky wished Stark would do more of. Luckily, Tony seemed to want to stay out of this discussion for the time being.
Bruce's mild mannered tone lowered even further. "If it's possible, we think it would be best if you did a transfer with Alex before we begin."
"A transfer?" Bucky noticed both of Tony and Bruce's eyes shift uneasily.
"We think the process will go smoother if Alex can acquire some of your serum abilities," Bruce continued. "Namely, your cellular and molecular regeneration capabilities. If Alexis borrows some of these from you before the procedure begins, then perhaps it can also increase her pain tolerance."
Bucky heard this and a flare went off inside his head. "I thought this procedure was painless?" He felt the muscles in his throat tighten when Banner gave him a look that spoke otherwise.
"There's been a lot of nerve damage..." His expression turned sad. "I've never used the Cradle to patch together actual nerves. With the amount of damage to her bone structure and skin-"
"-Can you fix it or not?" Bucky set his jaw as he stared at him. "Yes or no? Just tell me straight, Banner."
Stark's gaze turned to the floor, but Banner looked him straight in the eye. "I can." His voice remained as calm as ever. "What I'm telling you is: it will not be pleasant for her. We can't sedate because, unfortunately, we need to know she can feel the reconstruction happening, as it will be our only way of knowing the nerves are actually working. When she feels the pain, we'll know the nerves are coming back. However, she'll need your help to make it as tolerable as possible for her."
Bucky looked at Stark, who gave him a shrug of his shoulder and a sympathetic smile.
"It's the best we can offer" Tony told him.
He felt sick to his stomach. More pain. More pain that Alex didn't need. More pain he had to sit and watch happen without any real solution. A part of him felt defeated already, but he had to trust in what Banner was telling him.
"We should begin the transfer soon" Bruce added gently. His friendly smile reassured Bucky, but only slightly. "I'm not sure how long this will take, but the sooner we begin, the sooner it can end."
Bucky nodded, his throat bobbing as he tried to swallow down the lump that had formed there. He turned and walked back to Alex, watching as she slowly moved her eyes towards his. He saw them light up from the inside, their chocolate brown shade brightening as he neared.
He reclaimed his seat next to the stretcher and took her hand in his. "They're almost ready, doll." He tried to smile, but it felt forced...because it was. His heart ached, but he had to tell her the truth. He had to prepare her for what was ahead.
Because they were so in tune, Alex could sense it before he even spoke a word. She felt it in his energy; his touch hesitant and anxious where it normally was inviting and soothing. "What is it, James?"
His blue eyes lifted. "Bruce wants us to do a transfer before the procedure."
"A transfer? Why?"
"They think some of the characteristics I have from the serum could help the regeneration process." He inhaled, trying to steady his voice. "And to help with the pain while your nerves are regenerated."
Alex's expression remained motionless. Bucky could tell she was taking in everything he was saying, including everything he wasn't saying. He squeezed her hand in his, brushing his thumb over her knuckles.
As resolute as ever, Alex gave a single nod. "Okay then."
In two words, she accepted what waited. She asked no questions and made no arguments. Just a simple agreement and it was done. Bucky loved her more than he could ever adequately explain, but his respect and admiration seemed to grow every day he knew her. He knew that beneath the resilient exterior, her heart was hammering inside her chest. He knew her mind was running; processing just how much pain and how long she would have to endure. Because of this, Bucky wanted to reassure her of what he knew for fact: that she was stronger than she could ever know, and he would be with her every step of the way.
"You can do this, Alexis. I promise." His voice was reassuring and solid. "I'm going to help you, and we'll do this together. You can handle this. I know you can."
There was an ironic sadness in the roundness of Alex's eyes. "You've never broken a promise to me yet, Sergeant."
With a smile, Bucky leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. "And I'm not about to now" he whispered.
He pressed his forehead against Alex's and closed his eyes. Alex did the same, and her powers sputtered weakly to life within her body. With Bucky's nose nestled in next to hers and his lips a whisper away, Alex allowed her powers to move through her and into him via their forehead touch. Her body composition started to slowly transition as Bucky's strength and power flowed into her body, filling her with the ingredients she would need to make the next phase bearable.
As the transfer took place and Alex's white light curled around Bucky, a shimmering glow pulsated within the room. Bruce and Tony's attention turned to the couple, staring with awe as the white curls of light swirled around the couple. It pulsed periodically; growing and shrinking as Alex mirrored Bucky from the inside-out.
And just as quickly as it had taken place, it was over. When the transfer complete, Bucky removed his forehead from Alex's but not without kissing her first. His body was wrapped in the familiar comfort he had whenever they finished a transfer; his entire body and mind now shared with the girl he loved most in the world. It was a connection unlike any other, and it always left him in awe of their special bond. "I love you, Alexis" he whispered.
Another promise; one Alex knew he would never break. "I love you too."
Bruce walked over and cleared his throat. The pair looked his direction, and Bucky stood as Bruce neared.
"All set?"
Bucky glanced at Alex, who nodded from the stretcher. "I am."
"Then let's begin."
They wheeled Alex's stretcher over to the large machine that would stitch her hand back together. For the first time since it happened, Alex witnessed the damage she'd sustained as Bruce removed the bandages. She didn't look long, but it was plain to see how bad it really was. Her stomach roiled at the sight of the blood; the gaping, irregular-shaped wound in the center of her hand bordered by angry slashes that marked her fingers. It was as if someone had scribbled on her skin with a knife, gouging at the flesh savagely. She turned her head away, feeling a push of new blood as Banner removed the final bandage. Jarring streaks of pain flew up her arm to her shoulder when sensors were places all around the injury.
Bucky took her good hand in his and settled in as close to her as he could in his chair. "Focus on me, babe."
Alex nodded, feeling something like a wire being inserted into the center of her palm. Water stung at her eyes as it moved deeper, and she gripped Bucky's hand even harder.
"I'll be turning the machine on now, so you'll hear a soft hum as the sensors begin" Bruce instructed.
The Cradle started up and just as Bruce said, a soft humming filled the room. Two small pivoting arms began to hover over Alexis' hand while beams of light scanned her tissue. A floating computer screen appeared near Bruce's desk, where he stood and directed everything going on while the regeneration process took place. He tapped a few times on the screen in front of him, and a much louder noise emitted from the sensors over Alex's hand.
Banner's eyes connected with Bucky's from across the room, signaling quietly that this would be the beginning. Bucky turned his attention back to Alexis, whose expression was full of fear. "I'm here, darling. It'll be over before you know it."
The small arms emitting light over Alex's hand lowered into the injury itself, using the inserts Bruce had planted within her palm to begin to reconstruction.
When they connected with the sensors inside the injury, Alex held back a scream. Her face went pale and sweat broke out across her forehead. With desperate eyes, she searched Bucky's as her breathing became ragged.
Bucky cupped her cheek and nodded. "I've got you, Alexis. You can do this."
The sensors continued to burrow deeper into her injury.
Alex's face turned red from the pressure of holding back her cries.
Bucky caressed her face, his eyes locked onto hers as they remained round and unblinking from the pain. "You're so strong, Alexis. So very, very strong."
She let out a gasp and inhaled sharply. Water from her eyes fell down her cheeks but she held on, trying to ignore the pain that was happening. "James..."
"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." He looked up at Banner, who met his worried look with one of his own. Bucky didn't know what it meant, but he chose to ignore it and kept his focus on Alex. Her cheeks were beginning to tremble from whatever horror she was feeling inside her palm. Every inch of her was tense. With their connection, Bucky could feel the waves of terror rolling through her body as though they were occurring in his own.
Alex closed her eyes and panted, moaning somewhere in her throat as the intensity of what she felt grew further. "James...oh God James..."
Bucky let go of her hand and instead, cradled her face gently and made her look at him. "Focus on me. Only me. Focus on my voice. My eyes. My hands." He tried to smile for her, but he could tell she was struggling to hold on. "Do you remember the island, doll?"
Her eyes blinked once.
The sensors continued, stitching together her nerves, sending jolts of blinding pain through her body.
"Do you remember our waterfall?" Bucky caressed her cheeks with his thumbs, trying to envision their special place from their vacation. He wanted to paint a happy memory for her; something she could cling to and take her mind off the pain. Even if it only worked for a second, he wanted to give that to her. "Remember how turquoise the water was? How warm it felt against our bare skin?"
The faintest hint of a smile tugged at Alex's mouth. She nodded, her jaw still tightly clenched.
Bucky smoothed back her hair lovingly. "I loved being there with you. I loved how free we were. How nothing in the world could have taken me from you when we were resting on that rock. Remember how warm it was in the sun when we laid together?"
Alex's smile grew a little bigger. "Yes..." she uttered, her voice shaky. She blinked and her smile grew, even though Bucky could see she was fighting back against the pain.
"And our night on the beach..." He kept her face in his hands, feeling the calm warmth of her light as it began to spread from her body into his. Whether she was initiating it or it was happening on its own, he couldn't tell. "Remember sleeping together on the blanket? How warm the air was, how calming the waves sounded."
"Staring at the stars?" Alex uttered, the strain in her voice evident.
"All those stars, and all those planets" Bucky replied, his memory causing his smile to grow. "The ones with the purple skinned aliens with blue hair?"
"Blue hair...that I could...rock."
Her speech was disjointed, but her response was accompanied by a small chuckle through her clamped teeth. Bucky heard this and felt his entire body lift with hope. "Exactly!" He wiped away the tears and kissed both of her cheeks. "We have so many places left to explore. So many more vacations to take."
Something happened that caused Alex to utter a pained gasp. She moved as if to look at her hand, but Bucky increased his hold on her face so she wouldn't. He kept her gaze on him and only him. "Maybe we should take that ski chalet vacation next" he told her, trying to regain her focus. "Would you like that? Just think: a warm cozy cabin with just us..."
It was a struggle for her to keep her eyes on him, but she did. "Fire...We need...a real fire..."
Bucky chuckled. "Yep, a real fire, that's right." He glanced up at Banner, who gave him a nod that all was progressing fine. "Because you know, doll - I'm not going unless we have a real fire."
Alex exhaled another small laugh. "I love you."
"I love you."
Alex grit her teeth as the sensors began working on the skin around her fingers. Their movement was slow and methodical, but it was working. Bucky only wished it didn't have to take this long. Tears began to stream down Alex's face as another wave of pain crashed over her.
"Look at me, Alex."
She did, her lids heavy with water.
"You're doing amazing. You are so strong, you know that?"
She panted and more tears fell. "It...hurts..."
"Focus on me. Only me." Bucky leaned in and kissed her trembling mouth. "I've got you. I'm here with you. I'm never leaving you." His face was so close to hers, he could feel her shaking breath against his lips. The look of agony in her beautiful eyes pierced his heart. He wished it was him on that cot. That it was his hand that needed the work done. His body that ached. He would do anything to switch places with her.
"Almost complete" Banner told them.
Bucky felt Alex's body visibly ease. "You've got this." His eyes never left hers. "You can do this. You're almost done."
"Almost done" Alex repeated, a vein rising against the surface of her forehead. "Almost done."
Bucky glanced over and to his utter surprise, the cut on Alex's fingers had disappeared. The ragged injury at the center of her palm was closing, the dark red fading.
"30 seconds" Banner told them.
Bucky felt the white light around him pulse stronger. "Hang on, Alexis. Not much left. Just a little longer. You're doing so well."
Their gazes never broke in those final moments. Bucky smiled at her, and Alex smiled back. Her white light covered them completely, growing and pulsing with increasing strength as the wound closed and the sensors slowly lifted from her palm.
"I love you, Alexis" Bucky told her. "My teammate. My partner. My love."
Alex exhaled and let more tears fall. "I love you James. My brave soldier. My teammate. My love."
"Phase One complete." Banner turned the machine off and the sensors backed completely away from Alex's hand. "The worst is officially over."
Alex collapsed back against the cot and closed her eyes. Her white light recoiled from their bodies and disappeared slowly into her hands before dimming completely.
Bucky breathed a sigh of relief and felt his muscles ease. When he looked down at Alex's hand, it was as if nothing ever happened.
