Chapter Fifty-Five
With as long a walk as it was to the restaurant, my clothes had dried. It was still raining, but night had closed in. Street lights lit up around me. Although there might've been a good chance Kotoko and Kinnosuke were already gone, I had to see for myself. If they were there, I still wasn't positive about what I was going to say. I just hoped I wasn't too late.
Not after having changed so much because of her, and learning to be a better person. She was all I needed to function the way I should. She motivated me in a way no one else was ever able to, and that was something I couldn't afford to lose.
But I could feel her letting go now. She was slipping through my fingers at a slow but steady rate. I was losing her if I hadn't already lost her entirely.
If she'd already agreed to Kinnosuke's proposal, I'd have ruined Pandai's chance for a merger for no reason. And if she'd accepted it, it meant she might have some feelings for him other than friendship. This thought quickened my pace, making it in-step with my panicked thoughts.
For someone who had been so wholeheartedly devoted to me to be resorting to this, I must've been messing up horribly. Lightning split the sky as I relied on the idea that I hadn't made the biggest mistake of my life.
I came to the street of the restaurant and sped up even more, eager to know what was going on inside.
I took a breath before I peered through the window, preparing for whatever it was I was going to see. I looked in and all I found was an empty restaurant shrouded in darkness. They had to have already left.
I stood underneath the overhang and lowered my umbrella, thinking about my next move. I hadn't found her. There was no telling what those two could be off doing. My case was more hopeless than ever, and I could imagine that if Kotoko had accepted the proposal, I may not ever tell her how I felt about her. That was for the chance she no longer loved me.
But it wasn't the time to give up just yet. She had to still love me. She had to.
I rose my umbrella back over my head and started home.
The lightning left and the thunder rolled away for now, but the rain stayed. It lightened, though only by a touch. Doubt drove through me, a constant occurrence, as I thought this could be the end. I'd been too stubborn to find a different way to save Pandai and not end up engaged to the wrong girl. There might've been a way had I not gotten Sahoko involved, but the Chairman was going to despise me for doing this to her, for pretending.
The doubt that I would be able to find Kotoko and talk her out of this grew higher with every step that I took forward. Around every corner, I expected to see her, but instead I found only empty streets and puddles.
And then my feet stopped. A girl in a pink sweater crouched below a large tree, trying to keep dry of the rain and not succeeding. I came closer and searched her hand. No ring. I held my umbrella over her.
Kotoko finally looked up, "Hey." I said. The back of my shirt was dampened by the rain for the second time.
"Irie-kun… what are you doing here?" She asked.
"I was looking for you." I answered, no longer for the lies I'd been telling to myself and everyone else.
"Looking for me?"
I held out my hand to help her up and she studied it as though she'd manifested it. She took the offer and I helped her to her feet. We got onto the sidewalk to make for home. I couldn't remember the last time I was so, but I was nervous. I still hadn't pieced together what I was going to say to her.
I took a few moments to figure it out.
"Were you with him?" I said, not caring how it looked at this point in the game.
Her eyes held questions, "What?"
"Ikezawa."
"Oh," Kotoko nodded, "Yes, I was." She sounded proud, and locked her hands together behind her back. It almost seemed to me that she was presenting how over me she was. It did nothing to ease my suspicions.
"I heard he proposed." I was swiped by more rain as the doubt swelled in my chest.
Kotoko didn't answer me at first.
"That's right. I'm not completely unwanted." She refused to look at me. It made me feel just a little bit sick.
"What did you tell him?"
A string of thunder broke through the silence she offered me.
"What I told him doesn't concern you since you're marrying Sahoko-san." She snapped. It might've been the first time I'd heard any true anger from her. Still, somehow, I couldn't tell her that it had been broken off.
"Right." I said. There were another few moments of silence between us, during which the rain quickened. The hard drops against our only cover loud and the rain sweeping sideways, the umbrella was almost useless.
"My father and I are moving out." Kotoko said. It was reminiscent of when she'd told me the same thing last year, but now I hated it more, "We've decided it's better for us to be gone so you and Sahoko-san can feel more comfortable when you're married. We've been needing to move out for a while now, anyway," she went on, all the while I felt worse, "We'll move out and I'm going to marry Kin-chan. And we'll take over my father's restaurant."
She accepted it.
"You love him?" I stopped her.
"Of course," An overbearing chill took me over, "He has loved me since the very first year of high school." She sounded too happy with the way she said it.
"Do you love him just because he tells you he loves you?" My own anger drew out. I stopped walking and forced Kotoko to face me.
"Oh, is that a problem?" She bored her eyes into me, disgusted with my questions, "I've loved someone who doesn't love me back for too long, and I'm tired of it! I want to love someone and not get hurt because of it. So, you should just concern yourself with your fiancee and leave me alone."
I grabbed her shoulders, losing the umbrella and getting drenched, "You love me!" I said, unable to accept what she was saying, "You'll never be able to love anyone but me."
Kotoko was startled, and then it morphed into perturbation, "You sure are confident…That's right! But what can I do when you don't love me at all? You don't-"
I kissed her, bringing her to me so fast that I couldn't control it. With all that she was saying, there was nothing else I wanted to do to counter it, and I couldn't have stood for her telling me I didn't love her a second time. I tingled the way I'd been aching to feel again since the day in the hospital. My heart jumped the way it never had for Sahoko.
When I pulled away from her warmth, she gawked at me, "Don't ever tell me that you love any man other than me."
She flushed with exuberance. And then I guessed she realized she hadn't imagined it. She spoke, but in a low tone, "That's the second time you've kissed me." Kotoko said.
"It's the third." I admitted.
"What? But it's clearly the second…"
"You don't have to count anymore." I touched my lips to hers again, and then to her forehead as I brought her into an embrace. I couldn't believe how late I'd almost been.
I don't know how long we stood there, minutes or seconds, but when it was done, my hand reached for hers, "Let's go home."
The umbrella forgotten, we continued to soak, but the cloud cover started to break. The rain lessened until it was nonexistent. Her hand squeezed mine like I might let go, and I couldn't imagine why I would.
All the way back, I could hardly believe what I'd just done. Somehow, I never thought the day would come that I put it all out there, that I let everyone else in on my secret. Yesterday, only I and my little brother had known. Today, everyone would know. And I wasn't ashamed in the slightest. With her hand in mine, the one thing I felt was content.
We didn't speak on the walk home. The sound of water running into drains and of the thunder growing farther away was relaxing. But two blocks from home, Kotoko interrupted the hush.
"Um… what are you going to do when we get home?"
"I don't know." I said, but I had a thought. I wasn't opposed to getting married, just opposed to marrying the wrong girl. It took an instant to confirm that this was what I wanted to do.
"What about Sahoko-san? Aren't you engaged?"
I will be soon.
"Not anymore."
Arriving at the gates of the house, Kotoko said, "Wow!" She pointed upward, "A shooting star." She closed her eyes to make a wish. I only caught half a glimpse of it before it was gone, but I had no wishes to make. When she was finished, we came up the driveway.
At the front door, I stopped to give myself a moment to breathe. This was all happening so fast.
"Are you ready?"
"Ready?" She asked.
I opened the front door to a flurry of conversations coming from the living room in hushed voices. My mother made a commotion about the two of us.
"Naoki, Kotoko! You're all wet. I'll go get some towels." She hurried off.
"No, wait," I called her back, "You should be here for this." My mother cocked her head, completely confused.
My eyes landed on Kotoko's father who sat on the couch, seeming distressed. I could imagine what they had been talking about before we came in.
"Mr. Aihara, I would like to speak with you." I said.
He got to his feet, "You should get into some dry clothes first, and then…" He began. Maybe I should have, but I was through with the waiting games.
"Please give me permission to marry your daughter."
He was taken aback. My mother gasped, Yuuki's jaw dropped, and my father was simply befuddled.
"Irie-kun…" Kotoko said. She stared at me like she'd hallucinated.
"Are you serious, Naoki?" My father said. Maybe he'd already begun to think of Pandai, but I wasn't going to worry about it for the time being.
"Yes, I am."
"What about Sahoko-san?" He asked.
"I can't go through with it. We broke it off because I finally realized it wasn't what I wanted." Mr. Aihara waited for a continuation, "Of course, it wouldn't be right away, and I would want Pandai back on its feet beforehand, but I can't think of anyone else that I want to be with but Kotoko." I peered at her and she turned red. She didn't appear to have any objections.
"Can we have your consent, Mr. Aihara?"
"Naoki, she can't do much correctly, you know?" He said, "She's not smart, and can't cook." He tested. But I'd come to terms with her flaws long before now.
"Yes, I know."
"She's clumsy and hasty. She makes mistakes all the time." I smiled at this.
"Yes, I know." Kotoko looked like she was being shot at.
Her father became emotional, "But she is cheerful and dedicated. She's a very lovable girl."
"She is." I said.
Mr. Aihara just about started to cry, "Naoki, please do take good care of her. You have my consent."
"I will." I said. A sense of relief washed in. I felt I could finally be myself again, "Is that alright with you, Kotoko?"
She bit her lip and nodded, "Yes."
My mother's shrill squeal killed my ears, "Kotoko-chan! I've been waiting for this day for so long!" She leapt for joy and zipped over to hug Kotoko.
Now it was time to have a word with my own father, "Dad, can I have a word with you in the hall?"
He stood, "Yes."
The living room erupted with cheers from my mother, so I doubted anyone could hear what was going on in the hall.
"I'm sorry for doing this," I started with, "I know this jeopardizes Chairman Oizumi's aid. It'll be a big loss for Pandai, but I can't put on a facade anymore."
"Naoki, I told you from the beginning that you didn't need to do that. I can handle Pandai for now." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"Are you sure about that?" I said.
"You underestimate me. I am the one that should be sorry. You went through all this for my welfare and I shouldn't have allowed it. You can go back to school and study what I know you want to do. I can take Pandai from here."
"'What you know I want to do'?" I asked.
"I received a call back a while ago from the university about the change in your studies. So, I am telling you… go study medicine. Leave this to me. I've been running it well all these years anyway." He patted me on the shoulder. I couldn't express how surprised I was at his acceptance.
"Dad…"
"I will talk to Chairman Oizumi and get this sorted out. For now, all I want is for you to follow your dreams." He smiled.
"Thank you very much."
My mother rushed the hallway, "You two need to get changed before we can celebrate anything. You're soaking wet." Kotoko shivered as she hurried up the stairs, "Go get towels and dry off before you get sick."
Even my father shooed me off. Upstairs, I dug a couple of towels out of the hallway closet and knocked on Kotoko's door.
"Come in." She called. When seeing it was me, her face reddened again, "Oh."
"You forgot to get a towel." I threw it over her head and she giggled. She gazed amazedly up at me with so much admiration, I knew I'd made the right choice. Her eyes fell onto the floor.
"I'm scared," She said, "I feel like you'll take back everything you said tomorrow when I wake up, and never admit to it."
I couldn't pass up the opportunity for the sake of teasing her, "Then should we sleep together?"
Her cheeks deepened in color, "That's not what I meant." She fretted.
I played with the towel on her head. The way she responded to everything and the way she looked at me now told me she was having a hard time believing in any of this.
"Are you sure I'm okay?" She asked.
"Yes." She beamed the brightest I'd seen her do so in about a month.
"I love you a lot, Irie-kun." That innocent grin still did a number on me.
"I know, more than enough."
"But I didn't know that you loved me." Kotoko said. To be fair, an average girl might've figured it out by now without having to be told, no matter how well-hidden it was.
"You won me over," I said and brought her close, wrapping my arms around her, "I love you."
And it was a wild weed. One that grew from nothing and couldn't stop after that. It never would, either.
