As you may have noticed from the reviews and mention of school friends, the Campus Helpers are actually based off of childhood friends. This excludes Gemma, being a character me and Alex created as a joke in a document we called "Lucas' New Teammates". Enjoy the rest of the story. Thanks!

*the next day; Tuesday*

*In the morning*

*Legend of Zelda Dorm*

BW Link: Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, prin-cess.

Zelda: Shut up Link.

All Links: … *become silent.*

Zelda: I was talking about that one. *points to BW Link*

*Other Links continue chatting.*

Zelda: Sigh. *walks outside*

Campus Helper: Sorry, I'm new here. Is this the Splatoon Dorm?

Zelda: No, it's Legend of Zelda.

Campus Helper: Oh, okay. I'm a delivery person so…

Zelda: Heeeeeeeyyyyy, can I ask you a favor?

Campus Helper: Sure.

Zelda: Could you do some spying for me?

Campus Helper: On… who?

Zelda: Meta Knight and whoever he's with. Also, what's your name, kid?

Campus Helper: Miguel.

Zelda: Okay, Miguel. Deliver whatever you need to Splatoon and meet with me when you're done. Thanks!

*breakfast*

Meta Knight: *arrives at table* Gentleman.

Lucas: The term "gentleman" implies that the group you are referring to has "manners".

Green Inkling: *spits out beverage (coincidentally on Ridley* I apologize.

Ridley: WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS-

Green Inkling: You're, like, I don't know, twelve feet tall.

Ridley: Thirteen.

Green Inkling: Uhhhhhhhhhgg

Lucario: Pokemon food is ! #$%^& gross.

Meta Knight: You can have one of my tacos. They're pork with cilantro, guac, and peco.

Lucario: Sure, bro. *takes taco and starts eating it* I… feel weird. *collapses*

Lucas: *starts singing weird song about death*

The gods hate me so I'll end up back in hell

That's pretty obvious, as you can tell

For atheists, when you're gone you're dead

And I'm not entirely an atheist

Death isn't always painful

Some people think it's-

Meta Knight: Please. Stop. Also, to be less annoying, tell me what he's thinking.

Lucas: *does psychic stuff* Banana.

Meta Knight: Excuse me, what.

Lucas: He's unconscious. He's getting the kind of dreams you get when you're a little sick and you get those dreams where you see people you know but they are also fictional characters and the colors are inverted and—

Meta Knight: We get it. He's getting fever dreams. Why?

*Dark Pit looks unnaturally suspicious.*

Ridley: Spill it boy.

Dark Pit; I don't know.

Ridley: Yeah, I thought so. *holds up tail*

*Lucas starts singing the death song again.*

Meta Knight: I usually don't yell at you, but SHUT UP.

*Gemma walks by table.*

Gemma: Hey, Darkie!

Dark Pit: I never said you could call me that.

Gemma: awwww, so cute.

Dark Pit: You can't say that you're only seven and a half years old.

Gemma: So you think I'm cute?

Dark Pit: That just sounds creepy.

Meta Knight: Hey, kid! Could you help us with something?

Gemma: I'll do anything for my little edgelord…

Dark Pit: Sir, could you please get her to leave?

Meta Knight: Maybe. Anyway, kid person, my friend here just collapsed. LUCAS DON'T START SINGING. Do you think you could help him?

Gemma: Oh. He appears to be unconscious. What was the last thing he ate?

Meta Knight: A pork taco. Why?

Gemma: Everyone knows that Fighting-Type Pokemon can only comprehend kosher food. Here, let me fix the situation. PK Kosher!

Lucas: Did you just use PSI?

Gemma: Yeah, I learned it when my mom took away my milk privileges.

Lucas: Um… that's great.

*Lucario slowly gets up.*

Lucario: The h*ll?

Gemma: He's awake! My magic worked!

Lucario: Uh, that's great. Why is this child here?

Dark Pit: Sir, can she leave now?

Meta Knight: Okay, thank you for your help. We would like some alone time.

Gemma: Okay, but one more thing.

*Gemma leans over to kiss Dark Pit. In reaction, he gets out his Silver Bow and splits into two bades, scaring the helpless second grader away and temporarily traumatizing her.*