'I'm not even going to try this time.' Elsa said, waving a defeated hand towards Maren as she walked into the stables. Maren's back was turned to her again, this time as she unhinged Daisy from her travel gear.
'Good, because I saw you walking up from the fjord.' Maren teased as she heaved Daisy's saddle over the rack.
Elsa shot her a dirty look and turned to the white horse in the stall nearest her. It snorted happily upon seeing her.
'Aw, hello Kjekk.' Elsa cooed in a voice reserved exclusively for babies and animals. She reached her hand out to the snoot of Anna's horse and stroked his velvety nose. He tried to lick her hand in return. She smiled and reached for a carrot off one of the high shelves to feed him—he snatched it cheerfully from her fingers. Just then Elsa heard the familiar clip clop of reindeer hooves trotting towards her from the other end of the stable.
'Sven,' Elsa cooed in the same baby voice. At hearing his name Sven picked up his pace, nearly running towards her now. Elsa noticed Daisy's ears perk up when Sven came into her line of sight, and she made a happy little reindeer grunt and tried to walk forward, but Maren still had her trapped in the corner unstrapping more buckles.
Sven nearly plowed Elsa over when he got to her, poking her stomach with his snout and rubbing it there. She laughed at the ticklish feeling and hugged Sven around as much of his head as she could get her arms around. He then began sniffing and poking his nose around her.
'So, you heard the crunch of a carrot from all the way outside did you?' Elsa teased and tapped one finger on Sven's nose. He clearly knew the word carrot because he became more excited when it was uttered. Elsa laughed through her nose. 'Ok, here.' She reached for another carrot and gave it to Sven who happily ate it in one bite. This, was apparently too much for Daisy to handle, because she barreled through Maren and trotted over to them, dragging a saddle bag with her.
'Uhhh.' Maren groaned as Daisy slipped past her.
'Sorry.' Elsa laughed as she reached for yet another carrot for Daisy. Sven, for his part, waited patiently as Daisy received her carrot, and made no attempt to snatch it himself—which for Sven was very odd behavior.
'What a gentleman.' Elsa cooed while stroking his chin. Meanwhile Maren had slunk behind Daisy while she was occupied with her carrot, and managed to get the saddle bag fully off her.
'You spoil her.'
'She deserves it, doesn't she.' Elsa said to Daisy and patted her head. At that Sven took off back the way he came with Daisy close on his heels—out back to the enclosed pasture.
'Don't keep her out too late!' Maren called after them with a smile. She then turned mischievous eyes on Elsa. 'You know, I do love hearing you talk to animals like that.' She said and slunk her arms around Elsa's middle, drawing her close. 'We should do that.' Maren nodded her head in the direction the two deers had just run.
Elsa raised an eyebrow. 'Eat carrots together?' She jested. Maren playfully squeezed her sides and she jumped slightly at the tickle.
'No, well yes. We should eat together—or something. We should go on a real date sometime.'
'Don't we already eat together?'
Maren smirked and raised a playful eyebrow at her sarcasm. 'No, I mean, what do people do in Arendelle when one person is interested in another? Don't they like, eat a fancy dinner together, or go to a party or something?'
'Well, you're asking the wrong Arendellian. Anna would know much more about this than me.'
Maren scrunched her brow asking the silent question. Explain?
Elsa smiled, slightly unsure how to explain it all. 'Well, when men would take an interest in me, it was usually platonically related to what their kingdom could gain through marriage to me—not romance.' She paused, but Maren continued to look at her with those concerned eyes so she continued. 'Mostly it involved boring political talk at parties, then they would usually get drunk and try to get closer to me than I was comfortable with, which I always wanted to escape from—Anna intervened most times when she sensed I needed it—but really, parties in general I just dreaded.'
There was something in Maren's eyes that was unfamiliar to her, anger was it? 'I'm glad Anna intervened. I would have shot an arrow at them.' Maren deadpanned. Elsa couldn't help but smirk at the thought of that. 'I'm serious.'
'I know you are that's why I'm smiling.'
'Well, you never struck me as a party goer anyway. If those idiots couldn't see that—see how uncomfortable they made you, then they deserved to get an arrow whizzed right past their heads.' Elsa was still trying to cover her amusement. The image of Maren clad in her forest gear, tromping through a socialite party and taking aim on some unsuspecting suitor was far too delightful an image to push away. 'Were you ever… interested in any of them?' Maren asked with some hesitancy.
'No.'
She surprised herself with how quickly the answer had come out, but it was nothing less than the truth. 'I—well I spent so much of my life so focused on trying to control my powers, to conceal them and not feel anything—that I never allowed myself to entertain the idea of any type of romantic attraction. I just didn't have the emotional capacity for it at the time—feeling something for someone was a dangerous variable that I could eliminate, so I did. It was safer that way…' A hint of sadness flashed in Maren's eyes, but she said nothing and continued to listen intently. 'Then I suppose, a few years ago, after Anna and I reunited—' Elsa continued and Maren nodded, remembering the story. 'And I realized I did have more control over my powers than I thought—well, then I started introspecting. I watched Kristoff and Anna interact and I started to think that maybe one day I could have something like that. But I could never visualize what type of person that could be—what type of person could see me in that way.' She had to pull her eyes away from Maren's or risk drowning in them.
'I see you.'
The sincerity of those words cut through her, so simple were they, yet so powerful. 'And I love what I see.' Elsa brought her eyes back up to drown. 'I see someone strong and courageous and smart and kind and beautiful—inside and out. Someone who cares more about everyone else than she cares about herself. Someone who has been through hell and back and still has one of the kindest hearts of anyone I've ever known.' Maren moved her hand to hold Elsa's.
'That's the way I see you.'
Elsa could feel her throat closing up and her face get hot—she did not want to cry so she diverted. 'At least now I understand why I was never interested in any of those men—why I was never going to be interested in them. I've never felt anything in the world like the feelings you make me feel.'
Maren brought her hand up to Elsa's cheek and kissed her. Soft, slow and meaningful—a message that she understood. Elsa sighed into the kiss, Maren's kisses were overwhelming with emotion and Elsa couldn't get enough of it. Maren broke the kiss and put her forehead to Elsa's, letting out a sigh of her own.
'The things you make me feel can't be put into words… Elsa, I just don't want you to miss out on anything—all the normal stuff you never got to do. I want you to have everything.' She was so sincere so full of honest emotion that all Elsa could do was pull her close into a tight hug.
'Maren, I don't need everything. I just need you.' She whispered in her ear. 'Riding through the woods, picking berries with you is the best date I could ever ask for. I mean that.'
Maren pulled away and held Elsa's hands in her own, rubbing circles over them with her thumbs and nodding as she looked down. 'Careful, or you're going to make me fall in love with you.'
'Maybe I don't want to be careful about that…'
Maren smiled and shook her head. 'Alright, enough of this.' She teased. 'You should go spend some time with your sister, I've been monopolizing you enough. She needs you too. There's just not enough of you to go around.' Maren poked her playfully in the belly again. Elsa chuckled and pecked her on the cheek.
'You're coming?'
'No, you two should have some sister time. Plus I still feel this clawing need to go find Ryder. I saw Iskko out back before, so I know he's here—and I have a pretty good idea where to find him. Big sister duties call—for both of us.' Maren leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. 'I'll see you in a while.'
Elsa reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her back in and giving her one more kiss. 'Bye.' She whispered after the kiss.
'Bye.' Maren said with a smile, then turned and walked left out of the stables towards town. Elsa followed, but instead of left she went right in the direction of the castle. She had to find the right way to tell Anna about her feelings for Maren, but she wasn't sure how to do it, or even if she should do it with how overwhelmed Anna had been lately. She would have to play it by ear. And she had to admit part of herself was terrified about how Anna might react. Surely she wouldn't stop loving her, but she wasn't sure she could take it if Anna started to look at her differently. She also knew keeping that from Anna was impossible—they both vowed never to keep things from each other again and she couldn't live with herself knowing she was breaking that promise. And she didn't want to keep it from her—she wanted to share everything with her about Maren—all her thoughts and feelings—just as Anna had shared with her about Kristoff. She would have to find a way to tell her, no matter her fears.
The evening sun had already dipped below the mountains—the days and nights nearly equal for the brief time before the days would begin to swallow the nights whole. She found herself already at the cobblestone pathway leading up to the castle, which was cast in the reddish hue of dying light that still managed to worm its way up and around the mountains. The street lamps had just been lit, and hardly anyone was out. Likely at home or in a pub eating dinner and she was thankful for the timing—few if any would see or recognize her as she made her way up to the open castle gates. The smell of salty ocean air hit her again on a warm breeze—and she was home.
'Her Royal Highness has returned!' A guard called from atop the gate. Elsa smiled at him but cringed inwardly—General Mattias had clearly not spoken to him yet about the subtle way in which she desired to arrive. She did not wish to be announced anymore. Still, she waved in acknowledgement to the guard and continued into the courtyard, which was empty except for the few guards on post, who all bowed their heads respectfully as she passed.
'Your Maj—! I mean Your Highness!' It was Kai who called to her from the doorway.
'Hello Kai.' Elsa spoke with a smile as she walked up the stairs to greet him. She leaned down to the portly man and gave him a hug. She had known him since her birth and he was like family. 'I don't suppose you could try just Elsa?' Kai threw her a deadpanned look.
After a beat: 'No, that's not possible Your Majesty.' Kai cringed at using her former title. 'I will work on it. Old habits die hard.' He said with a kind smile. She chuckled.
Elsa's eyes glanced upward for a brief moment. 'How's she doing?'
'She is—she is trying very hard.' He assessed with some hesitancy. Elsa frowned at the cryptic assessment of her sisters wellbeing. Reading her expression Kai followed up with: 'Nothing you don't already know of, she simply has different strengths and weaknesses than you did, and we are working through them.' Elsa nodded pensively, of this she did know and they were dealing with it. 'She is struggling with the paperwork and diplomacy aspect, but she is excelling at winning the people over—she's doing beautifully at social functions as you well know. People absolutely adore her.'
'Of course they do.' How could they not. Elsa smiled, remembering how beautiful Anna had looked at her coronation. Stunning green dress and cape that fit her perfectly and matched her eyes, her hair done up in the same fashion as her own and their mother's when they had ruled. You couldn't look at her and not be overcome with a powerful sense of endearment. It was the first time she had really seen Anna transform before her eyes from a cute bubbly girl into a regally beautiful woman—and she had cried upon witnessing it. It was the first and only time in living memory that she had allowed herself to cry publicly. For the beauty that was her sister, for what she knew that day meant, and for how gracefully Anna had accepted it. Her heart had nearly burst that day, and she couldn't have stopped the tears even if she had tried. She had cried a lot since then too with Anna, for Anna— perhaps another change within her since Ahtohallan.
'I won't let anything happen to her or the realm, you know that.' Kai interjected pulling her out of her thoughts. She placed a hand on his shoulder.
'I do.' Kai had been her fathers closest advisor and became regent in the years after her parents died before she was coronated. He taught her so much about diplomacy, and she knew he would do the same for Anna, and that eased her some. 'Where is she?'
'She's upstairs. She's been holed up in your room for days going over paperwork. I've tried to convince her to take a break but she is stubbornly determined.'
'Days..?' Elsa said with a sense of urgency and took off for the stairs. 'Thank you Kai, please let's speak more later.' She called over her shoulder and caught him nod as he walked away.
Once upstairs she reached the door to her room in a matter of a few long hurried strides.
'Ann—' She started as she opened the door, but abruptly cut off her voice. Sitting at her desk, slumped over in a mess of paperwork was a sleeping Anna. Her head rested on one arm and the other was hanging down next to her legs, quill still held loosely in hand dripping ink. 'Oh, Anna.' Elsa whispered sadly and shut the door gently. She walked over and knelt beside the chair, sweeping Anna's braid off her face and behind her shoulder.
She gently removed the quill from Anna's dangling fingers which caused her to stir.
'Hi baby girl.' Elsa whispered and smoothed Anna's bangs back. Her eyes blinked sleepily until they found Elsa's, widening with surprise.
'Elsa!' Anna cried and dove off the chair and into her arms, nearly knocking her backward with the force of it. Elsa laughed and caught her, holding her tightly.
'You're really here right, I'm not dreaming? Because I've been having these dreams lately and if this is another dream I'm going to be really mad.' Anna said into her hair. Elsa chuckled at Anna's ramble.
'It's really me.' She confirmed and rubbed Anna's back.
'Sorry not done yet.' Anna said and squeezed Elsa tighter, but did not release the hug. Elsa chuckled again and continued to hold her.
'As long as you need.'
'Forever is what I need.' Anna joked, finally releasing her from the hug.
'Done.' Elsa responded with a smile.
Anna smiled and stood up, reaching out a hand to pull Elsa up with her.
'Sorry its such a mess… I've kind of—taken over a little bit here…' Anna said, a hint of embarrassment in her voice. Elsa glanced around. Besides the papers strewn all over the desk, Anna had clothes draped all over the place as well—an empty food tray sat on the near table accompanied by several empty mugs that were once probably filled with coffee. The bed was unmade and doors to the balcony swung open in the breeze.
'Anna, how long have you been in here?' Elsa asked in disbelief. Her sister blinked, seriously considering the question.
'That's a good—um. Well I'm not entirely sure. Only like a day—or two at the most?' The question in her voice told Elsa she had no clue how long shed been holed up in there.
'Kai tells me it's maybe been a bit longer than that.'
'Well I go down to get food and coffee sometimes, and I see Kristoff.' She offered weakly in defense.
'Anna.' Anna cast her eyes down and away from Elsa's, unable to meet them.
'I just really really don't want to mess this up.' Anna's eyes were still looking down and to the right away from Elsa's. Something about the way she stood there, disheveled and defeated threatened to break Elsa's heart.
'You're not going to mess anything up.'
Anna let out a long sigh. 'You don't know that. You were—you were so good at everything Elsa. I'm just not you.' She let her hands drop loudly onto her legs.
'Anna come here.' She gestured towards the bed and walked over to sit on the edge of it. Anna followed, sitting cross legged on top of it facing her. 'You don't have to be me. In fact you shouldn't try to be. You should only be you—you are so much better at so many things than I was. People love you for you. You need to understand that about yourself.' Anna's brow creased and she looked to the side, contemplating. 'Anna, talk to me. What's going on?'
After a long pause and a deep breath: 'It's the letters again… I keep… mixing them up. It makes me feel so stupid Elsa.'
Elsa grabbed Anna's hand in her own and squeezed. The letters—words. Of course. Anna had always struggled reading and writing them, ever since they were kids. Especially aloud in front of others. She knew this was one of Anna's main worries about becoming queen.
'Anna, look at me. You are not stupid. Don't ever say that about yourself—you are one of the smartest people I know. I've seen the sheer number of books you've read and all the journals you've filled up with your stories. Mixing up the letters is just a weird thing your brain does, it doesn't in any way make you stupid. You have to believe me on this.'
'I guess.' Anna mumbled. Suddenly her eyes rose to meet Elsa's and she squinted at her. 'Wait, you didn't actually read any of my journals did you?'
Elsa chuckled and shook her head. 'No, of course not.'
Anna let out a visible sigh of relief. 'Good because those are going to my grave with me… in fact I should just burn them. Actually I think I will.' Anna's face was a shade redder than usual and Elsa was smiling at her embarrassment. She had not read them, but based on the romantic novels Anna was always reading she could just about guess what the stories she had written contained. And from Anna's embarrassment it was most likely very suggestive romance Anna was writing.
'But I would love to read them sometime—'
'Nope. Not happening.'
'Ok.' Elsa chuckled. 'Anna listen to me, we'll figure this out. When you write up a draft of something, have Kai or Gerda look over it for you when you're done. And Kai can read your official letters out loud for you, that's not strange, he used to do that for me all the time. Speeches you can memorize—actually its better if you do anyway it comes across more genuine. And if anyone gives you a hard time about anything, I will come down and make them regret it.' This caused a much needed smile to spread across Anna's face. 'I will help you, you'll always have me.'
'I know.'
'And don't spend your days in here trying to fix this. There is nothing that needs to be fixed in you. Go outside, make Kristoff take you on a date.'
'He's been trying, maybe I'll take him up on it.'
'You should. I've also had another thought—actually I've been thinking about it for quite some time, but I think now may be the right time.'
'For what?' Anna's perky interest returned and warmed Elsa's heart. She couldn't stand seeing her so down on herself.
'Well, I was thinking of taking you to Ahtohallan.' At that Anna's eyes grew wide with excitement.
'Really?' She was practically bouncing on the bed as she said it.
'Yes. There's a lot there that you need see—about Mama and Papa. Not just that, but I was hoping you might also be able to see some of the memories that were taken from you. I wanted to wait until you were settled here, after the coronation and everything…' Anna cut her off with a squeal that would shatter even the thickest ice in Ahtohallan.
'Yeeeeeesssssss! Yes, yes yes yesssss!' Elsa squinted and laughed at the piercing noise coming from her sister. 'Oh I'm sorry, I'm just so excited. This is amazing, I've been wanting to do this since you told me… oh my gosh, when, when?!' She had Elsa's hand in a vice grip and was shaking it violently. Elsa was laughing.
'Well I rode in today with Maren, she wants to spend some time with Ryder. But I figured as soon as we're all ready we could go. I assume Kristoff will come also.'
'Of course. But will it just be you and me at Ahtohallan?'
'Just you and me.'
'Good. Now, tell me all about it again…'
