When writing a badfic, you gotta keep things weird, like, REALLY weird. When given a roster of eighty characters, a school of thousands (maybe millions) of student, and a bunch of kids that run everything, making things weird gets fun and easy. One way I've been doing that is totally ruining characters. Oh god that I don't believe in because I'm an atheist… You may have noticed that when reading. As you might have been able to tell when forcing yourself to read this cringe, I gave Joker the personality, or shall I say PERSONA (insert laugh track) of his mains. Why did I do this you may ask? Well, let's just say that I have a lot of friends who are obsessed with Persona. Personally, however, I say the greatest RPG video game is Mother 3, but everyone has their own opinions. Could you say that in a way I am teasing my friends? Sort of. Anyway, check out some of my friends' accounts. Their usernames are 64foxball and spangled. ANYWAY. Back to the cringe.

*That day at dinner…*

Lucas: Hey guys! Guess what?!

Lucario: Oh Lord Helix

Lucas: The cafeteria started making vegan omelettes!

Meta Knight: Well, that sounds disgusting.

Lucario: Well, what do you expect? A good half the stuff in this cafeteria is made out of water and powder mixed together by ten-year-olds.

Meta Knight: Yup. *looks weirdly at Joker* Even the pizza.

Joker: Aww, man! I don't want to be vegan!

As I said, in a way, I'm kinda making fun of them. If you are also a Joker main, I apologize for making you out of all people suffer. I'm just teasing my friends. y.

Ridley: That is probably the weirdest thing I've ever heard someone say.

Metaaaa Knight:Yeah sure…

Principal Master Hand (over loudspeaker): Attention all fighters, students, and staff. I have a very important announcement to announce. A new fighter has graduated!

Everyone: Gasp!

Principal Master Hand (over loudspeaker): And their name is… Byleth! There's two of them, actually. A male and a female. Nintendo's still working on being politically correct and all, but whatever. They're both named Byleth, they're both experts in swordsmanship, archery, and whatever it's called when you use spears and maces, and the game they're from is… Fire Emblem: Three Houses!

Someone (loudly): NOT ANOTHER FIRE EMBLEM CHARACTER!

Marth: SHUT UP.

Someone Else: Sakurai's life is stressful enough. JUST EXCEPT THE FIRE EMBLEM CHARACTER FOR GOD'S SAKE.

Math: Thank you.

Principal Hand (over loudspeaker): And that's it for this fight pass! The next will appear later, so don't go insane. Thank you.

*loudspeaker turns off*

Meta Knight: Oh great, Mario's team has a new member.

Gern Ink: *intentional spelling issue* And they're from Fire Emblem…

Mate Knight: Haha get clowned you noobs! Another swordfighter for the win!

Risley: Please. 2018 is over. No clowning past 2018.

My spelling is now normal… Sort of.

Lucas: This omelette tastes like stale tofu.

Green Inkling: It is stale tofu.

Lucas: I miss milk and eggs…

Ridley: Well, the school year is basically halfway over.

Lucas: So?

Joker: Don't you get it? You have another half a year or so where you have to be vegan.

Meta Knight: Shut up, pessimist. Let the "edgy wise guy" talk. You've heard of the "glass is half full or glass is half empty" phrase, right?

Lucas: No, I'm left handed.

Meta Knight: You know what I meant. Have you heard of the phrase?

Lucas: Yeah…

Meta Knight: What these two are getting at is that you have to suffer longer. They see the glass as half empty. They're pessimists, like most of us here, actually. I know you've seen som sh##-

Ridley: Eh hem? The seventh grader?

Lucas: well technically I graduated college.

Green Inkling: Sweet. So did I.

Lucario: Wait. Let me get this straight: We've all graduated college but still live in dorm rooms? I'm ****ing confused.

Meta Knight: Anyway, about the glass…

*bell rings*

Meta Knight: Whatever. I'll email it to you.

*Exit Meta Knight and friends.*

I'm writing formal when I say that.

*Later that night in the MOTHER dorm, which by the way has rules.*

Claus/ Masked Man: I DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR GEL, NOW GET. OUT. NOW.

Lucas: *sudddenly wakes up* What the…

Claus/ Masked Man: Lucas, stay out of this. Nabbit just broke into our room looking for hair gel…

Lucas: But PSI makes our hair look so hot, not hair gel.

Claus/ Masked Man: I know, right? He left after I yelled at him, anyway.

Lucas: And let me guess. Neither of us will fall back asleep.

Claus/ Masked Man: Right… What time is it?

Lucas: 3:57 A.M.

Claus/ Masked Man: So, do you wanna wake the whole dorm up?

Lucas: First of all, we'll have to deal with Kumatora in the morning, so instant no.

Claus/ Masked Man: So?

Lucas: Sigh. Even though you're now a cyborg, you still stop at nothing to pull a good prank and drive people cra- WAIT.

Claus/ Masked Man: What?

Lucas: THE PRANK WAR!

Claus/ Masked Man: So you're saying…

Lucas: YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING.

*Loud knocking can be heard on the wall from the room next to them.*

Kumatora (from the other room): ****をシャットダウンします! (Shut the **** up!)

Lucas: まあ、それはあなたが私たちの話を聞いたせいです!(Well, it's your fault for listening to us!)

Kumatora (from the other room): 寝なさい。(Go to bed.)

Lucas: あなたは私ができないことを知っています。(You know I can't.)

Kumatora (from the other room): まあ、あなたは変化のために静かであると思いますか?!(well, could you be quiet for a change?!)

Duster (from other room): どうして?(Why are you up?)

Kumatora (from the other room): 双子は午前4時に叫びました。 再び。(The twins are shouting at 4 A.M. again.)

Ness (from a different room): Is someone awake?

Jeff (from a different room): Go to bed, Ness!

Kumatora (from the other room): それはいい。 ローカライズされたキャラクターは英語で話せるようになります。(Oh great. The localized characters get to speak in English.)

Lucas: Well Claus, you've succeeded in waking the entire dorm up.

Claus/ Masked Man: Perfect.