'Elsa.'
'Pssst…'
'Elsa!'
'Wake up.'
The whisper hiss of Anna's voice floated through the darkness, stirring Elsa from an already restless sleep. A dull headache thudded behind her eyes from the precious few hours she'd only slept, and likely left over from the stress of the previous night. She was sore too—it had been a good while since she'd had a panic attack as bad as that one, and her body was clearly out of practice with dealing with them. Maren had stayed with her for the better part of the night, and they talked about what had happened—rather, she had talked Elsa down from more panic until she was ready to drop from exhaustion. Then Maren had left—for this specific reason—because Anna always found her way into Elsa's bed on random occasions no matter where they were. What Anna was doing up now, at this ungodly hour, she couldn't guess—but it clearly wasn't urgent. It was still dark out, and she wasn't about to risk opening her eyes, knowing full well she would not fall back asleep if she did—which she intended to do once she sent Anna away.
'Anna… go back to sleep.'
'I can't. The sky's awake and it woke me, and I'm just really excited about today.'
'Go back to bed or lie down here, I'm not getting up yet.'
A pause.
Shuffling blankets and jostling. 'Oof.' Anna's elbow connected with her back as she scooched in next to her.
'Sorry.'
Another pause.
'What time do you think we'll go?'
'Later.'
Another longer pause.
'How much later?'
Elsa sighed. 'When the sun is up and I've had more than three hours sleep.'
'Oh. Ok.'
Pause.
'Why were you up so late?'
Elsa's eyes snapped open at the question and she quickly shut them cursing inwardly and willing the possibility of more sleep not to elude her. 'I couldn't sleep. Anna I have a headache, please let me sleep for a few more hours or I'm going to be useless at Ahtohallan.'
'Ok, sorry.'
'Elsa?'
'What?'
'I love you.'
Elsa's lips curled into a small smile. 'Love you too.'
This had possibly been, one of the absolute longest, most boring mornings of her life—and she had had a lot of boring mornings. She knew trying to wake Elsa up at the crack of dawn was not going to work, but she'd tried it anyway on the slight chance that it might. It hadn't. But trying was still better than laying in her own lavvu hut, wide awake from excitement, listening to Kristoff snore. So instead, she'd spent the next grueling hour or two trying and failing to sleep, listening to Elsa's quiet breathing and her occasional fitful jerks in what seemed like troubled sleep—which she would need to prod her about later. Something was bothering her sister, something she had tried to tell her at Oaken's—but ultimately had not—and not knowing what it was, unsettled her. It couldn't be anything too bad, she reasoned, otherwise Elsa would have told her right away—unless—she wouldn't have. Which yes, Elsa had done before. More than once. She would need to prod her, she decided—sooner rather than later—a thread of dread worming its way into her. Things Elsa did not tell her directly, or right away were never good things.
But now wasn't the time to worry about it, now, finally came the end of her torturous morning of wait. Now, finally, she could see the Dark Sea just beyond Elsa as they cantered towards it.
She had assumed that she and Elsa would leave camp on Nokk and make their way to the Dark Sea alone, and she would have time to talk to her then, but, that had not been the case. Kristoff had insisted on riding with them, repeating over and over that he did trust Elsa, it was just the Dark Sea he didn't trust. So he adamantly refused to stay at camp, and was going to wait for their return on the shore. Anna had pointed out that even if they somehow, unlikely, ran across trouble on the sea—there was absolutely nothing he could do about it from shore anyway. Her logic went on deaf ears and he insisted on coming anyway—to which Maren decided to come in order to keep him company and they both decided it would be nice for Sven and Daisy to spend the day together again. She couldn't even be mad at him about his insistency, annoyed maybe, but not mad. He loved her, and this was just how he showed it, and she loved him for it.
But soon, it would be just she and Elsa, running on the back of Nokk deliriously carefree across the open water—a magical day with only her big sister. Not only that, but maybe to recover her memories about their childhood, Elsa's magic and her parents—memories that had been mercilessly taken from her so long ago—something she never in a million years thought she would get to do. And she couldn't wait! She couldn't remember the last time she and Elsa had been able to do something together like this, just the two of them, for fun and no other reason, and she was practically bursting with excited energy.
'Are you ok back there?' Elsa asked with a chuckle over her shoulder. Anna hadn't realized she'd actually been bouncing, she thought it was just in her mind. Oops.
'Yes I'm just, I can see the sea!' She let out as calmly as possible though it still came out at a higher more shrill pitch than she meant. It was a beautifully brisk sunny day—not a single cloud in the sky—the kind of day where you never wanted to go inside and never wanted it to end. The air even smelled crisper and fresher today or maybe this far north it was always like this. She inhaled deeply, letting the cool rush of freedom and salt air into her lungs, intoxicating her and making her head swim. The Dark Sea, she noted, didn't look so dark—in fact it looked beautifully bright. The sun glinted off the whitecaps and she couldn't tell where the cobalt sea ended and the sapphire sky began. The only thing that was dark was the jet black sand—or tiny pebbles—she observed, as Nokk crunched over them, which lined the coast up and down as far as she could see.
Elsa pulled them to a stop just before the water, Kristoff and Maren coming up beside them.
Kristoff took a deep breath and glanced between the two of them from atop Sven's back, worry in his eyes. 'I've tried to keep quiet about my worry over this because I know how excited both of you are, but please, please be careful.' He said with a raised eyebrow and looked pointedly at her.
'Don't worry, I'll be with my sister, the fifth spirit, former Queen of Arendelle and ice-water mistress extraordinaire!' Anna said theatrically raising her arms high above her head. Kristoff's face did not even begin to crack a smile as she'd hoped. 'She'd never let anything happen to me.' She added a bit more seriously, appealing to his logic when her theatrics did not have the desired effect.
'The weather can change quickly out here, so just keep an eye on it please.' Maren put in, glancing at Elsa. 'Kristoff isn't off base with his concerns…'
'I have done this before.' Elsa added with a raised eyebrow.
'I know.' Kristoff and Maren said in unison, glancing at each other for a beat at the awkward timing, then returned to face the sisters. Kristoff leaned over and grabbed Anna's hand, swallowing it in his.
'Really, I mean it. Nothing crazy.' He said quietly, his hazel eyes looking directly into hers. He was serious, and worried. Now was not the time for more jokes.
'I promise.' She said seriously, then leaned down and gave him a quick kiss which he returned.
Elsa walked them forward then, into the shallows of the waves. 'Hang on.' She said followed by: 'Watch this.' Just then Anna could feel the cold beneath her legs give way to a less solid form. She glanced down to see Nokk melt from her solid icy state, to a clear liquid form right before her eyes, and she sucked in a breath of awe. The feeling of a liquid horse beneath her legs—cold, firm yet soft and jiggly—something akin to sitting on gelatin—caused her to giggle. She could see the distorted ripply sand and water below them through Nokk's body and her eyes went wide with amazement. 'Woah… This is amazing!' She practically yelled in Elsa's ear to which Elsa chuckled.
'We should be back long before sunset.' Elsa added. Maren and Kristoff nodded.
'Not too much reindeer talk you two.' Anna added on a last ditch effort to lighten the mood. It seemed to work as both Kristoff and Maren smiled.
'See you soon.' Kristoff said as Elsa turned them to face the open sea.
'Are you ready?' Elsa asked in a taunting tone over her shoulder.
Do the magic, do the magic! She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, but thought better of blowing out Elsa's eardrums and potentially having to cancel the trip. So instead she went with: 'Yes!' In the most controlled voice she could muster, which still wasn't much below a shout. Then she tightened her grip around her sisters middle, ready to go.
At that Nokk took off like an arrow, faster than Anna had ever felt a horse move before in her life, and she clutched Elsa, hanging on for dear life. The salty air whipped at her face and caused her eyes to water, tears forming in attempt to wet her dry eyes and then streaming down her face as she smiled with probably the stupidest grin that had ever graced her face.
'I like fast!' She declared, but got no response from Elsa who was maneuvering Nokk up and over a small wave. For a moment they flew in the air, smoothy clearing the wave before jumping up and over the next and the next. The waves got progressively bigger as they moved out to sea, with Nokk running up and over the bigger ones instead of jumping them—and Anna suddenly wondered how they were going to get over the approaching waves that were taller than Nokk.
Her question was answered before she had finished the thought, as the first large swell was upon them. Instead of going at it head on, Elsa swerved and turned Nokk to run parallel to it—into it. The wave curved and Anna was sure they were going to be swallowed by it, but they were not. The wave curled over and around them and then they were inside of it. Anna's eyes went wide as she looked at her own reflection in the curling wall of water just inches from her face. Time seemed to stop and she couldn't believe this was happening—she was inside of a wave. She reached out a hand and let her fingers graze across the curling water, giggling as she drew squiggly trails in the sunlit wave. Nokk kept her parallel direction to the wave, angling only slightly upward as they went, so that when the tube closed behind them with a loud gush and a spray, she jumped over the top and to the back of it. Anna laughed from getting spray in her face and Elsa glanced behind her with a pleased smile. So, this is what Elsa did all day, Anna thought with a twinge of envy and awe. No wonder she wanted to stay here.
Two perhaps three more large swells were cleared in the same exhilarating way, before they gave way to a much calmer, much smoother rolling sea. Anna was almost disappointed that there were no more waves to ride, but the ride itself was still no less thrilling. Out here resembled something of a rolling meadow, only how fascinating that it was made of water instead of earth. Anna never wanted to set foot on a ship again, for this, was the only way to travel the sea.
She clung to Elsa as the journey rolled on, and realized for the first time, just how muscular her sister had become in her short time living up here. Anna could see how riding waves on a regular basis as they had just done would increase someones strength—and she was glad for it. Elsa had always been thinner than average—beautiful still of course, but thin, and somewhere it had always worried her, like Elsa could break or snap in two if too much force was applied to her. Her worry wasn't entirely unfounded either, as it had nearly happened once—a drunk suitor had grabbed her wrist too hard at a party, yanking her in an attempt to dance—and it had left a bruise. Anna had been livid about it, had been the one to first see it happen and had lunged for the man, shoving him away from her sister before Elsa could even react. He made no attempt to resist her, too drunk apparently and then Kristoff had materialized and picked the man up by his collar and dragged him to the door where the guards took him away. No one had tried to touch Elsa without her permission again after that incident.
Elsa, for her part, had pretended nothing had happened and tried to return the party to normal, which partly worked despite the uncomfortable air that still hung there. Anna had been too irate to contain herself, and spent much of that time letting out her irateness on Elsa, as her real target—the suitor—had been taken away. Elsa, as always, had calmly allowed her to vent while Kristoff tried and failed to calm her down, and she later regretted not listening to him sooner. Though that incident potentially explained part of the reason why Elsa was never interested in any of the suitors, the other part Anna knew was still her fear of her powers. Of them seeing the real her and not wanting her, which broke her heart. Admittedly, she had never seen one man amongst all the suitors who she thought was good enough for Elsa—and that particular incident served as a reminder that her sister was not as invincible as Anna liked to think she was—so she hadn't pushed it. But still she hoped, and somewhere inside of her she knew, someone out there was good enough for her sister, could treat her right and make her happy—she just hadn't found them yet.
'Look.' Elsa said, turning her head so the wind carried her voice back to Anna. The sound brought Anna out of her thoughts and she looked ahead. There, approaching in the distance stood—finally—Ahtohallan. Anna's eyes went wide as she took in the tall glacier, sun sparkled off the opaque ice and it looked like a white mountain cutting through the water. Perhaps too small to be a mountain but too large to be an iceberg—an ancient river of ice, flowing into the sea.
The waves started again as they rode closer, only they were behind them this time. Cantering on top of the white crest, again riding parallel with the large waves, allowing it to fluidly carry them down, handing them off into the spray of the next. It felt, somehow, as if they were part of the waves, riding with them, not on them—so vastly different from a ship that fought against the waves constantly. This was so much smoother and more enjoyable! And fun!
Eventually the waves delivered them to the icy shoreline and Nokk bowed her head and ducked down, letting them both slide off easily. Anna watched as Elsa put her forehead to Nokk's in a silent thank you, then turned to grab her hand.
'Let's go.' Elsa said with excited eyes.
Anna was bouncing again—at least this time she was aware of it.
'From what I've been able to figure out,' Elsa said as they walked up the snowy incline and into the massive crevice, 'I think Ahtohallan is somehow alive—or sentient—alive with the memories stored in ice. Every time I've come here, it seems to show me exactly what I need to see in that moment—so while we can hope to see your forgotten memories there is no guarantee. I just want to prepare you—it's up to Ahtohallan what we see and when.'
'That's ok, I trust whatever it want's to show me.' Anna said, trying to hide the hint of disappointment she felt. But whatever they saw, would probably still be amazing.
'The crevice gave way to an icy corridor as they walked in—which really just looked like a cave made of ice. Holes in the walls and passageways led off in all different directions, and Anna wondered how Elsa ever found her way through this place. It all looked the same. The sun beat down from outside, permeating the opaque ice and illuminating it—causing it to look as if it was glowing turquoise, which made her feel as if they were back in the tube of the wave—only the wave was frozen and unmoving this time.
As they moved deeper in, the turquoise glow faded and it grew dark, nearly too dark to see and Anna wondered how they were going to get through if they couldn't see. Once again her question was answered wordlessly as Elsa put a hand to the ice. Brilliant light the same colors as the auroras immediately illuminated the ice around them and it pulled at Anna's eyes, mesmerizing her.
'Elsa…' Was all she could get out.
'Say hello.' Elsa encouraged her. 'Put your hand on the ice.'
Anna blinked, trying to process what Elsa had said—say hello? But at this point, there really was no questioning the miraculous things Elsa told her to do. So she walked over and put her hand up slowly, a bit tentatively, and pressed it to the slick icy wall. Again the chamber lit up with the brilliant colors of the auroras, swirling through the ice only as Anna had seen them do in the sky!
'Hello.' Anna said shyly and giggled.
The light then shot down a passageway, illuminating the way for them. So that's how Elsa figured her way through here… She glanced at Elsa, who had the same mischievous look in her eye that Anna did—they smiled knowingly, then both took off at a run following the light and giggling like little girls. Anna ran and laughed as she followed the elusive sprite-like glow. It did seem alive as it played with them, and Anna wanted to catch it. She only lost her footing once but quickly recovered—quite proud of her unusual coordination and at keeping up with Elsa. Elsa's smoother, longer, graceful strides beside her only slowed when Anna stumbled the once, but then they were both off again, sliding to a stop as the passageway came to an end. Rather, Elsa stopped. Anna did not, she kept sliding until she slid right into Elsa and took them both down in a spectacular tumbling affair. Elsa was laughing ridiculously hard as Anna lay on top of her—and Anna was too. She couldn't remember the last time she'd heard Elsa laugh like that—certainly never when there were other people around. This might just be the best day of her life so far, and it was only just beginning.
'Sorry!' She laughed and rolled off Elsa, still laughing too hard to catch her breath properly. Elsa lay there too, knees up, holding her stomach and giggling.
'Good thing we stopped.' Elsa jested as she sat up, propping her arms behind her and pointing.
Anna looked where she pointed—a ways to the left of the icy dead end they had slid into was a pit that dropped off into what—Anna didn't want to know.
'Wow.' Her voice echoed as she stood, taking in the vast chamber that opened up before her. As she neared the edge she could see that the passageway continued on the other side, much lower than where they were now. Spread across the pit were what looked like hexagonal pillars—stepping stones perhaps, raised from ice and spread way too far apart for any normal person to step across.
'Elsa—did you jump across these?' Anna asked incredulously.
'Guilty.' Elsa said nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders.
Anna shot her a disapproving look. 'You wonder why I worry? This is why.' She said and cast her hand out over the pit, gesturing to the dangerously tiny pillars of ice that loomed over a pit with no foreseeable bottom.
'I'm sorry, I'll fix it.' Elsa said, pulling her mouth into a guilty expression. She raised her hands and the stepping stones—stepping icy pillars—whatever they were, lowered into the abyss. Good riddance. In the next moment she cast her hands out forward and Anna watched in awe as a long icy staircase replaced the pillars.
'Better?' Elsa asked when she finished.
'Better. And don't ever jump across it again please… Give me a heart attack…' Anna muttered under her breath. Elsa chuckled and led the way to the stairs. It didn't take long to cross the trench—and Anna only dared to peek over the railing just once. Only blackness stared back at her and she quickly recoiled and hurried down the stairs. Yep. Bottomless. No more jumping, crazy person.
The stairs gave way to a similar passageway, though shorter than the last, and the light led them down it and towards a triangular shaped opening at the end. When she got closer, Anna could see that the triangle was formed by giant shards of ice laced together at an angle as if—it had purposely been made that way. It looked vastly different from the rest of the natural glacier—like something Elsa might make.
'Did you make this?' Anna asked curiously.
'No, nothing beyond this point was me.' Elsa said.
'Then who—?' Anna's voice trailed off as they moved through the opening and into the next antechamber. This one too had clear icy hexagonal pillars lining the walls that looked like they had been deliberately placed there. If Elsa hadn't done it then—how was this made? It wasn't natural. The light danced in the pillars and pulled her from her thoughts, illuminating yet another triangular shaped opening. Or at least, it looked like an opening. It was in fact covered with a layer of ice. Four diamonds were embossed in the ice around the door, and Anna decided to stop questioning how these things were made right then.
'I keep this part sealed when I'm not here, just in case.' Elsa said, picking up on Anna's confusion about where they would go next. 'Stand back a bit.' Elsa said, and walked up to the doorway—if that's what it was. Anna moved back a few paces without question. Elsa then threw her hands up and dragged them down forcefully—violently shattering the ice in the doorway and, leaving tiny diamond shaped crystals floating in the air in the chamber just beyond.
Anna brought her hands up to her face to block the force of the shattering ice, then slowly lowered them once it settled. 'Woah.' Was all she could say. These diamond crystals Anna recognized—she had seen them once before floating in Arendelle, just before the elements had gone awry.
'This is it.' Elsa said and grabbed Anna's hand, leading her into the chamber. The light did not follow them here, and Anna could barely see anything save for the bit of light that somehow glinted off the gazillions of tiny crystals that still hung motionless in the air—the deep arctic heart of Ahtohallan. Elsa led her deeper into the room and she gasped suddenly as light illuminated the ice in the floor just in front of where they stood. What Anna saw, was what looked like four giant diamond shaped crystals, blue, turquoise, pinkish-red and purple arranged almost like a star just below the surface of the ice. In the center of them, a smaller white, four pointed star resided, it too just below the surface of the ice. The design was beautiful, and glowing enough so that Anna could see Elsa's arm that was holding her hand.
'The fifth spirit symbol…' Anna said in awe, taking her other hand to point at the same design that was etched in the sleeve on the outer part of Elsa's bicep.
Elsa smiled and squeezed her hand in confirmation. 'Are you ready?'
'Do. The. Magic!' She yelled excitedly, pleaded really, suddenly so exhilarated she was unable to contain it this time—not caring how childish she sounded in that moment.
Elsa squeezed her hand again and pulled her forward onto the white star in the middle of the design. What happened next Anna would never be sure, but her whole world exploded in an array of color and blinding white light. The ground below them lit up as bright as the night sky and shot outwards on the floor around them. It shot upwards too, from under their feet, the light of the aurora borealis encasing them as if they were in some kind of portal traveling up to meet the sky. Her long hair and Elsa's even longer hair swirled around them loosely as the force traveled upward, and she held onto Elsa's hand for dear life, the only tangible thing she could feel at that moment—the only thing linking her to any sense of reality—until she heard the song. Their mothers voice again, only this time she was sure of it. There was no mistaking it.
'Where the north wind, meets the sea…'
Then, as if the show of lights around them couldn't get any more spectacular, it somehow did. All the light that was shooting skyward gathered together at a point above them, then exploded outward like a firework, raining down brilliance like a waterfall or tidal wave of light. It illuminated the shape and sheer size of the entire chamber—and as the light cascaded down the walls, it became alive with moving fractals—glowing with life, and Anna's eyes widened when she saw that there were moving images reflected in these fractals—living memories. Millions of memories spread around them in the fractals, too many for her to absorb at once. It was as if the chamber somehow knew she was overwhelmed because all at once the memories dimmed—throwing her briefly into panicked confusion, her eyes darting around frantically, desperate to see the memories.
'Anna.' Elsa said softly, and touched her shoulder gently, indicating her to turn around. And then she heard it:
'Come my darlings homeward bound.'
She turned slowly in the direction of the voice, knowing what she would see there yet not remotely prepared for it. Tears burned her eyes as she turned, and she couldn't help but throw her hands over her mouth when she finally took it in. For what felt like the first time in forever—the beautiful, kind, loving face of her mother gazed down at her from above—not just gazed but looked at her. Her mother was looking at her as if she could actually see her. As if the past six years had not happened and she was right there, just like before—only looking at a now twenty one year old Anna instead of the fifteen year old girl she had left. Her breath hitched and she tried to suppress the tidal wave of emotion that threatened her—all she could get out shakily was:
'Mother.'
