Ch.11 While You're Weeping Blood is Seeping
(CLARE)
"Clare?" He asks in a groggy voice.
"Sorry, I didn't realize it was so early. I was returning your call, but you should go back to sleep."
"No, it's fine. When we got back to the party you were gone, no one could remember when you left. I was worried when I couldn't get a hold of you."
"Sorry, I…" I pause biting my lip, what do I tell him? "When Alli slipped, I was worried, I just felt sick after that, and not much like celebrating. I told Damon and Klaus I wanted to come home."
"You know, someday you're going to have to explain your relationship with them to me," Adam comments.
"Yeah, someday," I mutter just loud enough for him to hear, "like on your deathbed," I whisper too softly for him to hear. Suddenly, I have this vision of Adam as a very old man on his deathbed, I hear his breaths beginning to fade and I reveal myself. I tell him everything, but only because he's about to die.
"Well, Alli's going to be fine. She has a pretty nasty bump and her head bled a lot because head injuries do that. She didn't even have a concussion, just a nasty bump and some bruises. We took her home and Dallas stayed with her, you can probably go over and see her today."
"Yeah, I'll try. I've got a lot to do today," I reply. I just don't know what else to tell him.
"She'll be at school tomorrow; she was feeling a lot better when we left the ER. She said she had a headache and was a little sore, but that was it."
"That's good, it could have been a lot worse," I comment. I close my eyes as I get flashes of Alli getting hit so hard her head cracks open, and of me smelling the blood and feeding on her. "I should go, and you should get back to sleep Adam," I tell him.
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Adam replies and hangs up.
I set down my phone and go to the small fridge in my room, I'm hungry again. As I open the fridge door my bedroom door is opened, I know already it's Damon and Klaus. Neither of them takes any blood, they just sit there and watch me drink.
"What am I going to do for school?"
"What do you mean?" Klaus inquires.
"I'm going to have to feed, especially around so many people. I can't just sit in the caf sipping on a blood bag."
"A well-insulated lunchbox and a couple of good ice packs and you'll be fine. You can eat food, it won't do anything for you though, nor will it taste appealing. You can make it look like you're eating, try sticking to coffee. Coffee is your friend, the caffeine and the warmth are good. When you're alone, you can sip the blood bag," Damon tells me.
"I'll have to get a lunch box, and more ice packs then."
"We should also restock your blood supply tonight. We'll go late, and we'll go with you just to be safe," Klaus comments.
"Okay, I don't want to sit around here all day, and I don't want to be around to go see Alli. Adam said she would be okay, but I hurt her. I need to practice still, practice appearing human and not using my new abilities. Let's go out to the woods, as far as we can get," I tell the guys.
They both nod and leave my room. I'm entirely ready to go in about 30 seconds using vampiric speed. The guys do the same and we're soon in the car driving north. We spend all day in the woods while I practice being human, and continue to practice using and honing my new abilities. When it's dark we return to town, we stop and get me a lunchbox, and then drive to Scarborough and a blood bank. There's only a couple of people still there, and Damon breaks the handle on the back door to get in.
"Who are you? What are you doing here?" A stout balding man asks as he comes out of one of the offices.
"Do it Clare," Klaus says.
I take the man by the arms and hold him in place, I look into his eyes watching his pupils. There's this moment when you know you have them in your control.
"We're taking some blood, you will return to your office and let us do this. We were never here; you never saw anyone tonight. The missing blood was a mistake in the paperwork."
"I must return to my office," he says and turns around.
Working at our speed it takes only a couple moments to fill the trunk with blood and we return to my house. Mom and Glen are eating dinner, but as we all take armfuls of blood bags and run up to my room to put them in the fridge they don't even look over. The one in my room won't hold it all, but we put the extra in the fridge in the garage. I simply tell my parents not to use that one.
"I need to hunt, I'll meet up with you two later," Klaus tells us as Damon and I both take a blood bag from the small fridge.
"It's very early still, what do you want to do tonight?" Damon asks.
"Go back in time and never be turned."
"There was no stopping it, and Stefan had no choice but to feed you his blood to save your life."
"I know, I'm not angry at any of you. Maybe, a little angry at Alexi for killing me. A few months ago I didn't even know vampires were real, now I am one. I thought the knowledge was a lot to take in, it seems I'm constantly thinking of new potential problems now that I am a vampire."
"It was easier when I turned, not much to think about or prepare for. Just be glad none of your family or friends hunt vampires. Why don't we go out, a real club, I'll be there to keep an eye on you, and I'm sure Klaus will join us after he hunts."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? All those people?"
"It's a good way to learn to tune things out, besides all the humans will be so distracted by the music and the alcohol, and probably drugs. Come on, let's go have some fun," Damon comments.
I nod and we leave the house, Klaus is hunting on foot so we have the car. We go to a club downtown; I don't expect to see anyone here as most of my friends are too young to get in. Of course, so am I, but Damon compels the guard at the door and he lets us in. Damon was right, I do have fun, the club is a nice distraction, I get hit on quite a bit. Damon is always close by, keeping an eye on me in case I begin to lose control. I do have fun at the club, and whenever I start to lose control Damon whisks me outside until I'm better. Klaus doesn't find us, but he is waiting at the house when we get there. He wants to know where we were, and Damon simply answers that we were having fun.
I'm hungry again, actually I'm sort of always hungry now. At least, I seem to always be craving blood. I take a another blood bag, so does Damon, and then I go to bed. I don't sleep though, I'm up all night, a million different visions of tomorrow going through my mind. I'm up before the sun, even at the school before the sun, Damon and Klaus came with me, a public building means we don't have to be invited.
"You know you two can't stay here all day, you can't compel everyone," I comment.
"We'll leave when other people arrive, but we'll be close by," Damon responds.
"I should have had more blood this morning," I remark.
"I'll get it," Klaus grins and runs out. He runs all the way to my house, gets two blood bags and runs back to the school in less than five minutes.
"Thanks," I smile taking the blood bag. I drink both bags before school starts, Damon and Klaus stay in the building until it's full of students. Then they disappear faster than the humans can see. I start walking to my locker and see Jenna and Alli on the way. "Hi, how are you feeling Alli?"
"Stupid, I never should have worn those boots. I'm lucky I didn't crack my head open. I have a pretty good bump, and a few bruises, but as long as I take it easy for a few days I should be fine."
"She's had a couple of headaches, that's it. I told her not to wear those boots," Jenna says. "Hey where'd you disappear to during the party?"
"After Alli fell I wasn't feeling well. I think it was watching it happen and not being able to do anything. Plus, the sound of her head cracking on the bench," I remark with a shudder. They think the shudder is because I'm remembering the sound of her head hitting the bench, in reality it's because I really wanted to taste my friends blood.
"Look at this, the three prettiest girls in DeGrassi," Dallas comments. I turn to see him walking with Drew and Adam. Dallas grins at us and then kisses Alli softly.
"We stopped by your house yesterday, no one was home," Drew tells me.
"Yeah, I took Damon and Klaus out to see some of the sights."
"I wanted to go over some student council stuff if you're up for it?" Drew asks.
"Yeah, sure," I nod setting my books in my locker.
I follow Drew to the student council office and we sit down. He gets out his notebook and opens it to a page with scribbled notes. He starts talking, I hear him of course, but I'm finding it hard to concentrate. My mind goes back and forth between visions of turning to bite into his neck, and visions of pulling him onto the table and fucking him. Some of the visions mix the two together, I pull him onto the table and rip off his clothes. While we're in the throes of passion I bite him.
It doesn't help that I can smell everything! What he had for breakfast; coffee, eggs, bacon, toast with butter and strawberry jam. His deodorant and after shave masking the smell of his natural scent. His toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo, so many different scents. I hear his heart beating, I smell the blood in his veins, practically taste it on my tongue. I want to taste him, at this very moment I want Drew very badly, both to satiate my hunger and to satiate my other need.
"Clare?" Drew asks putting a hand on my arm.
"Sorry, I…" I can't tell him I was fantasizing about biting him and making love to him, actually he'd probably love the last one. "I didn't sleep much last night, what were you saying?"
"Valentine's Day, doing a themed dance and selling flowers or maybe chocolates. The proceeds would go into the student council fund."
"Sounds great, flowers won't last very long. We'll have to reach out to some of the bigger flower vendors to see about getting them at cost, donated if possible. Candy too, we can probably get some wholesale from somewhere."
"Yeah, can you and Adam do some research on possible vendors?"
"Yeah, no problem."
"We need to start looking for volunteers to show potential freshmen around. We start tours in March…"
Drew is still talking, but I'm not listening, all I can hear is his heartbeat. I have to fight every instinct in me right now to not just throw him on the table and drink from him. I'm fighting it so strongly that I'm digging my nails into my palm, I can feel the blood that I'm drawing out. I have no desire to taste my own blood, but it's really not helping the fact that I want to taste Drew.
Having all these feelings, fantasies I also feel incredibly guilty. I shouldn't be thinking this way about anyone, particularly a friend, a friend with a fiancé. My unquenchable desire to eat, to drink Drew's blood, the overwhelming carnal wanting I have for him right now, and my guilt all wage this war inside of me. A war I'm beginning to lose; I can feel my fangs starting to protrude. My instinct to feed is becoming too hard to fight.
"You okay? Your eyes look really dark a…" Drew is saying when I begin coughing. I don't actually need to cough it was more to hide my face.
"Water," I ask for as I continue to pretend to cough. He has to leave the room in order to get the water, and I run out of the room to the washroom. I almost bump into a group of cheerleaders as they leave.
"Rude!" Snaps one of them.
"Must be morning sickness," laughs another.
"Yeah, I'm sure she's been screwing Drew since last year, why else would he want her to be VP," snickers another. They're in the hall, yet I can hear the conversation as if they were still standing next to me in the washroom. I splash some water on my face and close my eyes, willing my fangs to retract. When I look human again I return to the student council office at human speed.
"Where'd you go?" Drew asks handing me my water.
"Sorry, I thought I was going to throw up," I reply before taking a sip of the water.
"If you're not feeling well we can do this at the meeting this afternoon," Drew offers.
I can't decide if the meeting will be better or worse, there will be more people. I shake my head and sit down, forcing myself to concentrate on what Drew is saying. Anytime, I begin to get fantasies of biting him or fucking him I shake them away. We do manage to get a bit of work done before going to class, and I'm starting to think I can really do this.
Sitting in class however is hard, I'm surrounded by a buffet. They all have different smells, some are awful, others very tempting. I hear every noise that happens, but I don't recall anything from either of my morning classes. How am I supposed to block out all the noises and smells and actually get anything done in class? When the bell rings for lunch I honestly have no idea what my teachers said in either of my morning classes.
"I was kind of spacing out in class, I might need your notes after school," I tell Adam as we start walking to the caf.
"No problem," Adam grins. "Is that all you're getting?" Adam questions with a concerned look when all I get is coffee.
"I'm not hungry," I reply. That's not true I'm starving, I want to eat every kid in this caf right now.
Adam twists his mouth at me, but we pay and sit down with our friends. Drew also grimaces at me for only having coffee, but no one else says anything. I sit there and sip at my coffee for as long as I can take it, which isn't long.
"I'm going to the washroom," I comment as soon as my coffee is gone.
I get up and walk out of the caf and down the hall at human speed, which is harder than it sounds. I'm so hungry I just want to run to my locker for the blood. I grab my lunchbox, and I start walking to the back of the school. I need somewhere private to drink this. I pass the boiler room just as one of the cheerleaders from earlier comes out of it.
"Meeting Drew?" She asks in a sharp and condescending voice.
"My friend and your student body president is eating in the caf. Unlike you I would never deign myself to sucking cock in the dirty, stinky boiler room. I don't need to trade favors to get a boy to like me."
"You bi…"
Before she can finish that thought I have her pinned against the wall. She looks scared, she's not breathing, but her heart is still beating. I can smell the blood in her veins and I am famished.
"You should really think before you speak," I growl. My fangs are already protruding and I know she sees it.
"What the hell is wrong with your eyes?"
"I'm hungry," I reply. I have just enough clear thinking left to drag her into the prop room. Then I open my mouth as wide as it will go and sink my fangs deep into her neck. I drink, and drink, and drink, I can't get enough, I can't stop. I satiate my hunger and keep drinking. I feel her body go limp and I finally stop, I let go of her and her body crumples to the floor.
"No no no no no no no no! Fuck!" I exhale as tears pool in my eyes. I get on my knees and check her neck, but I already know. Her lungs stopped breathing before her heart didn't have enough blood to pump. I'm crying hard, but manage to get out my phone and call Damon.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I need you both in the school now. I'm in the prop room," I tell him and hang up.
I look at the dead body, I killed her. I didn't want to kill her, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to scare her, to taste her a little, once I was going I couldn't stop myself.
"What happened?" Klaus asks as they run in.
"I didn't mean to. I couldn't stop, once I was going I couldn't stop," I cry to them.
"Get the body out, bury it in the ravine," Damon orders Klaus.
Klaus sneers at him, but he listens, he picks the body up and runs out at vampiric speed.
"I couldn't stop, I didn't even think about how much I was drinking, I just couldn't stop. I don't even know her name. She made me so angry, I just meant to scare her, but I was so hungry. Once I bit into her I couldn't stop," I wail.
"Easy Clare, everything is on over drive remember? All your emotions, all your sense, all your desires. We should have been here, we should have checked in."
"I can't do this, can I?"
"I know you want to Clare, but it's not easy, not when you're trying to maintain a human life. In a big city where vampires and werewolves are just myth and bad teen dramas. And, alone," Damon says brushing his fingers into my hair.
"I know, I wanted to do this, but I've already hurt Alli and killed a girl. It's going to take months, maybe years to get that control. I know you and Klaus can't stay that long. Will I have enough control by next fall, to go to college with Adam?"
Damon puts his fingers under my chin and tips my head up to meet his eyes, "You'll have several more months to gain control. You'll have all of us to help you, Caroline went through all this not long ago, she's still learning. And, you won't have to hide, not like you do here. You know what I think, what I want. I know the cravings and desires must be so hard for you. I know it's more than just hunger and that must be hard to control."
"With both you and Klaus here I didn't want to…choose. It sucks to be horny and hungry all the time, and have the two of them mix together. I kept having visions of tasting Drew and fucking him on the table in the student council room this morning. It got so bad, I eventually had to make an excuse to leave. I think Adam is already starting to suspect something," I remark.
"All the more reason for you to return to Mystic Falls. Stefan will be as happy have you as I am, and Klaus will be close," Damon says the last part through clenched teeth.
"I can't just disappear; how do we do this?"
"Do what?" Klaus inquires coming back into the room.
"Did you take care of the body?" Damon questions.
"Buried in the ravine, with a few more marks on her. She's not very deep, they'll discover her in a few weeks or so. Now then, what are we doing?"
"This isn't working, I'm not ready to do this, I'm returning to Mystic Falls."
"Good, you'll stay with me this time," Klaus replies with a salacious grin.
"Actually, I think that it's better if I continue to stay with Damon and Stefan. You'll be close though," I remind him.
"You'd have so much more fun staying with me, we can take care of those carnal cravings I know you've been having," Klaus says and Damon growls getting up to hit him or something, but I grab Damon's arm. "And, I would teach you to hunt," Klaus adds.
"No, I don't ever want to kill again," I reply with a venomous tone and break into tears again. Damon comes back and wraps me in his arms, I cry on his chest and cling to him. I hear the bell ring, but of course I'm not going to class. "How do we do this? What do I tell my parents? How do I transfer schools?" I question wiping the last of my tears.
"I'll call Stefan and Ric, we'll figure out how to get you transferred," Damon says.
"She'll need a student visa, or a green card, I'll take care of that," Klaus speaks up.
"As for your parents you'll have to compel them. Tell them you're finishing your senior year with friends and they'll have to sign papers," Damon tells me.
"What do I tell Adam and my other friends?"
"That's up to you, but right now I think we should go back to your place. You need to clean up and start packing, and we have some phone calls to make," Damon replies.
I nod and stand, wipe my eyes again and we run out at vampiric speed to the car. We drive to my house, Mom and Glen are at work. I get some suitcases from the garage and begin packing. I could be in Mystic Falls until late August, so I pack for it. While I pack I think about what to compel my parents with, and what to tell my friends. I'm still packing when my phone rings, it's Adam.
"Where are you? You never came to class," he says as soon as I hit accept.
"Home, I'm not coming back to DeGrassi."
"Are you sick?"
"No, I'm not ever coming back Adam. I'm moving to Mystic Falls.
"You're what?! Clare this is crazy, you barely know anyone there and you're just moving halfway through senior year?"
"I have to Adam, I can't stay here, it's not safe."
"Clare, you're not making any sense. I'm coming there, stay at home until I get there," Adam demands before hanging up the phone.
"What will you tell him?" Damon asks coming into the room.
"I don't know, he's my best friend, we've gotten each other through a lot. Of everyone I know he will be least likely to accept that I'm moving. I could just compel him I suppose, but I don't want to."
"You think he'll accept the truth?"
"No, and I don't know if that's what I want to tell him either."
"Alaric and Stefan are getting you enrolled at Mystic Falls high. Stefan wants to know if there's anything you want for your room that you're not bringing with you?" Damon asks.
"Nothing I can think of right now."
"I'm going to the school to get your transfer papers, and then I'll get your student visa underway. It might take a couple of hours," Klaus tells us and runs out.
"He's just going to compel them all isn't he?"
"Yeah, he'll force them one way or another," Damon replies.
"I hear Adam's car, he'll be here in a moment. I want to talk to him alone," I tell Damon.
"I'll be close if you need me," Damon says. He kisses me softly and leaves through the back before Adam comes through my front door.
"You can't just move," Adam says.
"I can't stay here Adam, I thought I could."
"What are you talking about Clare? It's one of those guys isn't it? They're forcing you to do this. That Klaus guy he can hypnotize people, he's brainwashed you or something."
"Adam, I'm not brainwashed," I respond walking to the living room and Adam follows. "This isn't Klaus or Damon's decision it's mine. I wanted to come home and finish senior year, but things are different now."
"You're not making any sense Clare. How are things different?"
"They're just different," I reply. I don't know what else to say.
"Are you pregnant? Are you really sick? I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on!"
"You don't have a choice Adam, if I stay here I could hurt someone else. It's best for everyone if I go back to Mystic Falls. Next fall we'll go to university together." I tell him.
"I don't understand, this doesn't make any sense and it doesn't sound like you. I don't care what you say, I think they're forcing you to do this. I'm calling Officer Turner a…"
"Adam you can't do that," I bark cutting him off and grabbing his phone from his hand before he'd fully pulled it from his pocket.
"How did you…" Adam starts to ask.
"Sit down Adam, if I tell you this you can never tell anyone else. Anyone Adam, not Drew, not Eli, not anyone."
"Okay, I swear I'll never tell," Adam says sinking down into the arm chair. "What's going on Clare?"
"I know this is going to be hard to believe, you're going to think I'm crazy, but I'm a vampire."
"You're right, I don't believe it."
"Klaus and Damon are also vampires, so is Damon's brother. That's why I'm returning to Mystic Falls, so they can help me, teach me."
"You're doing a really great job sounding serious about this. New plot for one of your fanfictions?"
"I am serious Adam, stay there I'll show you."
"Okay you," Adam begins and I run upstairs at vampiric speed grab a blood bag and back down, "show m…is that blood? Where did you get that and how did you move so fast?"
"Just don't get scared, it's still me," I tell him. I take the cap off the tube and start drinking the blood.
"Clare don't that's gross," Adam shrieks reaching for the blood bag. I move too fast for him though, and when he looks at me again I know he can see my eyes. He gasps and I show him my fangs which are now fully out. "SHIT! HOLY FUCK! BLOODY HELL YOU'RE A FUCKING VAMPIRE!"
"I know, it's a lot to take in."
"A VAMPIRE! VAMPIRES ARE REAL?!"
"Adam, please stop yelling, my senses are heightened now, that includes hearing."
"Sorry, it's just…you're a vampire," Adam exhales.
"Yeah, witches and werewolves are real too, I met some."
"Okay, you eat blood, heightened senses, you move fast. What about the sun? How are you out in daylight or is that part a myth?"
"Not a myth, it's my ring. Here," I tell him taking off my ring and handing it to him. I walk near the window where sun is streaming in and stretch my hand into it. Instantly I start to burn and hiss at the pain.
"Clare stop, put your ring back on," Adam says pulling me back. "The burn is already starting to heal," Adam remarks watching as my redden and burned flesh begins to repair. "Anything else?" Adam questions while I put my ring back on.
"I can compel people if I need to, or want to I suppose. It's how Klaus forced Owen to get me from the student council office that day. It's not so much hypnotism as it is forcing your will onto people."
"That could be cool," Adam grins.
"Yeah, it comes in handy. Why else do you think my parents let Damon and Klaus stay here? Heightened sense are nice, but also annoying. Moving fast and being able to jump high and far are also nice, so is being really strong. Constantly craving blood, being totally on over drive is not so nice."
"What do mean?"
"My emotions are heightened right now, so is my sex drive."
"Pretty sure that's the state my brother lives in all the time. Heightened sex drive that is," Adam comments and I laugh. "So, what will you tell your parents? Or I guess, compel them to think?"
"That I'm going to Mystic Falls to stay with friends and finish my senior year. I'll tell them they think it's a fabulous idea, and they will."
"What are you going to tell everyone else? That is I'm assuming you won't be telling everyone you're a vampire."
"Pretty much that I'm finishing senior year in Mystic Falls and it's something I need to do. I don't think Alli or Jenna will ask me many questions."
"What about student council? How's my brother ever going to run the school without you?"
"Split my duties between yourself, Alli, Jenna, and Connor. No one gets overburdened and you can all keep Drew in line. I'm only a phone call away, an e-mail, a text. I'm going to another city in the states, not another planet."
"You're a vampire, and you're leaving with other vampires, it feels like you're going to another planet in some ways. So, I'll get back to school and tell them you're leaving. When are you leaving, exactly?"
"As soon as I can, tomorrow probably, maybe tonight. The sooner I leave the safer everyone will be."
"You hurt someone didn't you? That's why you're so insistent to leave, you've already hurt someone."
"I wanted to come back and finish senior year with all of you so badly. I spent two days after being turned honing my new abilities, learning to control them as much as I could. I've spent as much time as possible trying to control…everything. I thought I was doing okay, that I would be able to do this, but I couldn't. I'm not ready, it's unlike anything else Adam. As I said everything is on overdrive and as much as I'd like to think I have control, right now I don't. I did things I can never take back and now I have to live with them," I confess. Thinking about hurting Alli and killing that girl today saltwater wells in my eyes again. Adam hugs me as tears come uncontrollably from my eyes. After a few minutes the tears stop and I look up at Adam wiping my eyes. "Sorry, I'm okay and I have a lot to do. You should get back to school, I won't be answering my phone for a while, and don't let anyone come over."
"You plan to just disappear," Adam remarks.
"Not entirely, get everyone to your house after student council, Owen included. I'll say my goodbyes to everyone there."
"Alright, I'd better get back to school. I'll text you when we're all at my house," Adam tells me and hugs me tightly. He leaves through the front door and Damon comes in through the back.
