There is a scene where Angela is in church and her father is delivering a sermon so there is some talk about religion and faith.
If that's not your thing, you can skip the scene.
Religion was always going to be a part of Angela's story and identity and I couldn't ignore it altogether.
Jacob looked exhausted on Thursday night. He changed into her dad's old clothes and stumbled into her bedroom, collapsing face first on her bed. She reached over and ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed and turned his head so he could see her.
"How was your day, dear?" She asked, the question now becoming standard between them. "You look like you had a long day."
"The pack and the communal mental talks aren't fun," He muttered. "Alpha Sam is getting married soon and his ex, Leah, is now in full-bitch mode and keeps bringing up shit none of want to remember."
"Who's Leah?"
"Our lone she-wolf," He answered. "And Sam's girlfriend before he became a werewolf and imprinted on her cousin."
He spoke frequently about his pack and she knew his two friends, Quill and Embry, and of course, the Alpha, Sam Uley. He hadn't mentioned there was a girl in the pack or the very complicated history between that girl and Sam. If Leah was forced to share her headspace with her ex, maybe there was a valid reason she was being difficult. She knew firsthand how awful it was to have her private space invaded even if Edward had no control over his abilities.
"Why do you think she's a…bitch?"
"She just is, literally," At her disappointed look, he sighed. "She can't get over Sam moving on and she's mean to everyone."
"And how long were she and Sam dating?"
Jacob thought about it for a moment before answering, "They started dating in high school so around three years."
"Three years is not insignificant for a relationship. She must've loved him," She reasoned. "And then out of nowhere your boyfriend becomes a werewolf and he probably didn't tell you his secret and now he claims he's in love with your cousin."
Jacob nodded. "Yeah. That's sounds about right."
"Imagine what it would be like to be her. You care about this person and it seems like they care about you. Suddenly you're thrown away like you're nothing," She said. "Without an explanation, they just leave you and it's over. And you're supposed to be okay and not be angry."
"Are we still talking about Leah?" Jacob sat up and reached over to hold her hand but she pulled away. "Look, I get that you cared about Cullen but being him was dangerous."
"How?" She felt like defending Edward. Jacob never knew him and while she wasn't blind to Edward's flaws and his abandonment still stung, she did still care about him. "He wasn't this unfeeling monster."
"Maybe not," Jacob conceded, begrudgingly. "But he was an immortal, Angela. And there's only one way you could be with an immortal."
To become one. It had been a conversation she and Edward danced around. He had hinted at his real age and they both knew that their relationship would have a time limit. Humans only lived for so long while vampires lived a great deal longer. They never spoke about it because Angela knew what her answer would've been.
She would've said no. She loved being human for all its downsides and futility. She loved her family and her friends. She loved cooking and food and sunlight. She would have to give up so much for immortality and it wasn't a price she was willing to pay.
"I suppose you're right," She sighed and the defeat weighed heavier than she liked. "Maybe him ghosting me was for the best."
Not the ghosting. He could've given her a proper goodbye. He knew she wouldn't have been okay with being treated like this. He could read her damn mind. Yet he did it anyway and that proved more about Edward Cullen's cowardice than anything else.
Jessica wanted a sleepover as they hadn't had one in ages. They were having it at Lauren's house as usual as she had the biggest house and her parents were out of town for the weekend for work. Jessica's mother never let Jessica eat junk food at her house so she always took every opportunity to eat unhealthy as she could. They ordered pizza and camped out in the living room for a rom-com movie marathon.
Angela wasn't in the mood to watch anything romantic but didn't feel like having to explain it to her friends. She sat there and soldiered through Notting Hill, She's All That, and You've Got Mail. All the while torn between throwing popcorn at the screen or feigning a stroke to get out of this nightmare. She excused herself in the middle of Freddie Prince Jr. confessing his love to Rachel Leigh Cook to go to the kitchen for some water.
She heard a thump like something hitting wood. Looking out of the kitchen window, she saw a large shape near the oak tree at the backyard. She had a feeling who that was outside and opened the backdoor to peer into the darkness. The wolf froze at the sight of her.
"Hi," She tried for a friendly smile. "Are you Seth?"
The wolf cocked his head to the sighed, staring at her with those big brown eyes. He reminded her of a puppy, a very large puppy. She remembered Jacob mentioning Seth was only thirteen. That explained how he didn't quite have the hang of those oversized paws yet.
She asked, "Do you want some pizza?"
His ears perked up in excitement and his tail wagged. She told him to wait and went back inside. She came back out with a paper plate and three slices of pizza. Putting it down on the ground, she watched him eat it all absurdly fast. He gave her a doggy grin before sprinting off.
"Ang!" Jessica called out. "What are you doing outside?"
"I was talking to a werewolf."
"Ha-ha, Angela," Jessica responded, sarcastically. "Really funny."
She picked up the paper plate and went inside to dispose of it properly. Going back to the living room, she took her seat again on the couch. You've Got Mail was playing and Tom Hanks was wooing Meg Ryan with sweet emails. All the while he treated her abominably whenever he saw her in person. She leaned back against the couch cushions and soldiered through.
Angela never got angry at the twins. She had always tried her best to be patient with them even when they were getting on her nerves. They were loud and overactive and demanded attention. She usually didn't mind that but they were being especially loud that day when she just wanted some peace and quiet. She snapped at them.
They both froze, staring at her in shock before Joshua ran away to his room. Isaac followed him but not before shooting her a glare. Her parents watched the whole thing, shocked as well, before her father went to comfort the twins. Her mother led them to her bedroom.
Angela took a seat on her bed, feeling rotten. She instantly felt guilty the moment the words came out of her mouth. The image of Isaac's face crumbling and his eyes tearing up was stuck in her head. Her mother pulled the chair at her desk and took a seat on it across from her.
"What is going on?" Her mother asked. "You never snap at your brothers."
She hugged Quackers to her chest as the guilt battered into her. "I didn't mean to."
Anna was quiet for a moment, thinking, before she asked. "Is this because of the boy?"
She didn't need to name Edward. Angela had never been seen around any boy aside from her friends and her mother was too observant not to know there was something going on. Her mother saw it before Angela did. She never asked outright if Angela and Edward were officially anything as they hadn't discussed it themselves. Angela thought they were heading towards something significant before Edward proved her wrong.
She shrugged, not wanting to tell her mother anything.
"I know you like to keep things to yourself," Her mother said. "You don't like when others worry about you. You get that from your father. And that is how I know that the best thing for you to feel better is to talk about it."
Angela stared up at her, warily. Her mother was encouraging and warm and she couldn't resist. The words came out like a torrential rainstorm. She told her mother as much as she could while excluding anything to do with vampires. She told her how she and Edward slowly became friends.
She told her how Edward sent her sweet, little notes. She told her how he had been sweet, awkward, and endearing. She told her how he left town without a word. And as she talked, she realized just how angry she was at him and the situation and she deserved a fucking goodbye. Even a damn text to tell her that he was leaving and that he was sorry. If he was even sorry.
Angela wiped at the angry tears escaping her with a hand. She hated that this was making her cry. He was just a stupid, selfish boy that used her. A stupid, selfish boy she still cared about no matter how she tried to tell herself she didn't anymore.
Her mother sighed and moved closer, taking a seat on the bed beside Angela.
"Honey, I'm going to tell you something no teenager ever believes," Anna said. "You will find someone again and it's going to be as beautiful and as heart-wrenching as the first time."
Angela didn't say anything. She was afraid if she tried to talk that she would burst into tears and never stop. She was so tired of crying. She was so tired of everything and she just wanted it all to stop for one moment.
Anna grabbed her chin to get her to look up at her. "You can be angry and sad about this. Your emotions are valid but don't let it consume you. You don't have to be okay right now. You are human, Angela, and that is part of living."
She could only nod, knowing she was losing the fight to her tear ducts. Her mother smiled warmly at her and gently squeezed her hand. They sat in silence for a moment as Angela wept quietly, her shoulder shaking and it felt like her heart would explode in her rib cage. The first sob that came out wasn't pretty, like a wounded animal, and her mother hugged her and she knew she was going to be okay eventually.
She apologized to the twins and they forgave her. They were never ones to hold a grudge, especially when she promised to sneak them each a candy bar that was going to be their little secret. Their parents didn't let the twins have any sugar except for special occasions which, like Jessica, made them secret sugar addicts. She would have to stop by to get them the contraband candy after school tomorrow.
She just finished getting ready for bed when she heard the telltale knock on her bedroom window. She unlocked the window and kept her back turned to give Jacob privacy as he climbed in and got dressed. Her father had been asking about his sweatshirt and she had to pretend she had no idea where it went. She nearly jumped as Jacob hugged her from behind, his head resting on the top of her head.
Not knowing what to say, she opted for a "Hi."
"Hi," He sighed. "How was your day, dear?"
"It was fine."
As fine as it could be with the amount of crying in the Weber household that day. She wondered if his superior senses could smell the dried tears in the room. She hoped not. She didn't think anybody's senses could be that good, not even a vampire's. That reminded her of Edward and the familiar exhaustion came over her.
She pulled away from Jacob and made her way to the bed, Lying down on it and turning away from me. "Can we not do this tonight? I kind of want to be alone."
He paused and she could hear the confusion in his voice. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No. Of course not," She tried to play it off. "I just want to be alone at the moment. It's been a long week."
"Look, Ang, if I did or said anything-"
"Do you not have anyone else you can talk to?" She sat up, just wanting him to disappear. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically and she couldn't deal with him and his adoring gaze for the night. "How about your friends? Your family? Anybody else but me?"
He looked like she struck him but she didn't really want to take the words back. He didn't say anything and just stood there.
"What does this imprinting thing even mean?" She demanded. "You say you want me and you need me but you don't even know me. I don't even know you!"
"I…." He looked like he was trying to find the words. "I don't know. I just can't stay away."
"You can't stay away?" The phrasing was worrying. "You can't or you won't?"
"Can't," He answered, wincing. "When I try to stay away from you for too long, it hurts. I feel like I can't even breathe."
Horror bloomed within her as she realized the implications of his answer. Imprinting didn't immediately mean love. But the explanation of what it was or what it could do were vague, even the people going through it didn't seem to understand it fully. Whatever magic caused it wasn't all sweet and pretty as it looked on the surface.
"What would you do if I asked you leave and not come back?"
"I would…I would…" He crumbled as he confessed. "I wouldn't be able to stay away."
He told her about Sam and how he tried to fight the imprinting. How Emily had told him to stay away from her many times after he broke Leah's heart. How Sam felt like he was being pulled back, unable to break free. How Emily eventually gave in because imprinting wasn't a one-sided thing.
"It just sounds so oppressive," The last word felt heavy and daunting in her mouth. "You have no choice over any this."
He shook his head, head bowed in defeat. "I'm sorry. I can't stop it."
"I know," She let him crawl into bed with her and hold her. He was warm and his heartbeat was steady under her ear. "I'm sorry too."
Jacob fell asleep in her bed and was almost caught by her mother coming to wake her up in the morning. It was only with the help of his superior senses that he was able wake up and sneak out of her bedroom window before her mother could open the door and see them. Her mother greeted her good morning, unnoticing that anything was amiss, and told her to start getting ready for church. She waited two minutes before going to the open window to pick up the discarded clothes outside.
Angela sat at the choir stalls as her father delivered his sermon. Her father, normally a quiet man of few words, came alive when he was in church. He spoke with his calm voice directly to the crowd and they listened attentively. She always thought that in a different world, her father could've gone into a different profession like teaching or public speaking and done well there. He had a calling that he answered and she knew he never regretted it.
"In Corinthians chapter thirteen, verse 11, the apostle Paul said 'When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things'," He said. "So what he was saying was when I was a child, I spoke immaturely, I understood immaturely, and I thought immature thoughts but when I became a man, I put away those immature things. My brothers and sisters, the question to you and I is – when are we going to put away childish things and stop behaving in an immature way in the spirit?
"You see, love requires us to grow up. And in any relationship, you have to be willing to grow up. You have to become selfless and you can no longer be selfish," He continued. "You have to consider other this and other people besides yourself. You have to be willing to make sacrifices for the ones you love, not begrudgingly but cheerfully."
There was something about her father's sermon today that stuck out to Angela and it was maybe because she could relate to it. In the short few weeks since her life was upended with the Cullens, the deaths of the people in town, and now the imprinting with Jacob, she felt changed. She didn't feel like the same Angela Weber she was before the year started. And she'd felt adrift, unknowing what direction to go next.
"My brothers and sisters, I implore you and challenge you to put away those childish things and to grow up because when you look at the condition of the world, we have so many people doing very foolish, destructive, irresponsible things. The Church, on the other hand, must grow up," Pastor Weber concluded his sermon. "Remember this, my brothers and sisters, mature folks take responsibility for their actions and destiny. It's time to put away childish things. Be encouraged."
She felt lighter like the heavy stone that weighed down her heart had eased. She may not know where the road was taking her but she knew she would not be alone on that road. Her lack of faith before shamed her. She'd remembered that it was faith she clung to in times of doubt and no amount of magic in the world could take that from her.
The first time she ever saw Jacob's wolf form wasn't a big shock. After seeing Seth's wolf form, she'd come to expect to see something similar. Jacob was larger than Seth with reddish brown fur and he felt strangely out of place in daylight. Like he should only exist at night under a full moon like werewolves in films and books.
They just arrived back from the church and Angela was still in her simple, white dress when she saw him at her window. She was relieved that their neighbors lived far enough away and that her room faced the back of the house so they wouldn't be seeing the oversized wolf. She opened the window hurriedly. She was afraid her parents would burst into the room at any moment.
"What are you doing here?" She whispered. "The sun is still up."
He transformed back to his human form and grinned at her. "Am I only your nighttime lover? Can I not see you when the sun is up?"
"That is not what I meant!" She turned back to the door but no one came to check on her. "You're naked for Pete's sake."
"I brought clothes," He pulled up a backpack he must've kept in his mouth while running to here. "And I thought maybe we can spend the day together. I got all my homework done and I got my friends to cover my rounds."
"While I admire your responsibility," She turned away as he began getting dressed. "You could've called first or lighted smoke signals."
He snickered. "Smoke signals?"
"You know what I meant," She turned back and was putting on a tight black t-shirt. "What did you have planned for us to do?"
"I thought maybe we could go to the beach? Frolic in the woods and have a picnic?" He supplied as he ducked his head to move through the window. "Make out in my car until our lips go numb? Run away and get married Vegas? I'm open to ideas."
Angela was about to retort something when the door opened and the twins stood at her doorway. Their eyes widened at the sight of Jacob and before Angela could stop them, Isaac turned and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Mom! Angela has a boy in her room!"
Joshua joined along. "Dad! Angela has a boy here! And he's huge!"
She inwardly cursed. Jacob was frozen beside her and they stood there in begrudging acceptance of their fate as her parents moved faster than she'd ever seen them to get into her room. Her dad even looked a little red in the face from having to run from the garage to the house. Her mother was visibly surprised at Jacob who was tall and muscular and could've passed for being a college student.
"Hello," Her mother was still trying to recover. "I don't think we've met."
Jacob finally stopped imitating a statue and moved to shake Anna's hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Weber. I'm Jacob Black."
"It's nice to meet you, Jacob," She gave her daughter a look. "Angela hadn't mentioned you."
Angela hid her face in her hands and wished the floor would swallow her whole. Her father was still standing by the door, panting and trying to regain his bearings. He looked at Jacob like he was a hallucination that he was having and that maybe if he shook his head enough, he would go away. No such luck though.
Jacob tried to salvage the conversation. "Well, Angela and I became friends only recently."
Her mother let out a small 'mm-hmm' sound and Angela knew she was going to get interrogated later. "I do hope that you use the door in the future, Jacob. And have you had lunch?"
Jacob smiled, sheepishly. "I wouldn't want to intrude."
"Nonsense," Her mother took him by the arm and even though he was a whole foot taller than her, she began dragging him from the room with strength and power only mothers possessed. "I hope you like bread because I just made lefse. It's this Norwegian flat bread…"
Her father had finally recovered and was staring at Angela in disbelief. She shrugged and followed to the kitchen. Jacob sat at their dining table as her mother served him food and he answered the every question thrown at him patiently. She tried to wrap her head around what just happened. Her brothers, the snitching weasels, snickered at her and she decided to delay getting them the candy bars she promised them.
There was no update yesterday cause I needed a break. 11 chapters in a short amount of time can be a bit tiring and I had other things I needed to get done. To make up for it, we got a longer chapter. And by the way, this story is also available to read on AO3. My username there is sephmeadowes.
1. I really needed to get across Angela's emotions in this chapter. She's dealing with abandonment and that can bring some negative emotions I couldn't ignore. She's very much human and a teenage girl so I did have to show her dealing with her emotions. Her getting annoyed with her brothers and lashing out at Jacob is to highlight that even the nicest people in the world have breaking points and Angela was reaching hers. And the conversation about Leah reminded her all too well about her situation. And her mother being there for her and instilling wise advice is very needed.
2. The mechanics of imprinting to me have always been vague. Is it soul mate magic or just biological instincts to find the best mate? Both? I really wanted to get across that it's not perfect and that Jacob and Angela will still have to deal with and work on their relationship like any other couple (which we will see more of soon).
3. Seth will have a human appearance in the next chapter. I got the inspiration for the canine behavior from my dog who is a small Maltese but that doesn't stop her from trying to pick a fight with a Labrador. I love her so much.
4. The sermon scene was always gonna happen in some form another. Part of Angela's identity is being the pastor's daughter and her religion and faith so I couldn't ignore it for the whole story. The sermon her father delivers is almost word for word the explanation by Fred Downing on Youtube.
5. 'Notting Hill', 'She's All That', and 'You've Got Mail' are all rom-coms that came out in the 90's.
6. Chapter title comes from the book/movie by Elizabeth Gilbert.
