(Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long since an update! Life has been a little stressy and depressy, so I appreciate how kind y'all are! Thank you!)

(CW: Just a head's up, this has descriptions of injuries due to a battle, and general violence)

(Present Day)

General Skywalker and Ahsoka left to report to the Jedi Council on the surface about what had happened, and that meant that Kai stayed with the rest of the troopers on the Resolute. Due to the fast pace of the war and the frequent landing and taking off, they stayed in orbit.

So, as they hovered above the planet, Kai and the rest of the clones passed the rest of the day with sparring matches and shooting competitions and, after barely beating an ARC trooper that was on their cruiser, the rest of the company agreed that she deserved a drink the next time they had shore leave.

Kai was taking a break and sitting against a bench, when she felt someone sit next to her.
She looked over and smiled immediately at the clone who had just sat. His hair was buzzed close to his head, and while he had no distinctive marks or tattoos, she recognized him.

"Hey Keen, what's up? How are you?" She asked and he turned and smiled shyly.
"Not bad, Kai. How are you doing?" He asked, and she withheld a grin she felt coming on. He was always so politeto her, a genuine surprise since not many people felt it necessary to be kind to someone of her position.

"I'm hanging in there, just waiting for our next set of orders. I still don't know how you all just wait around, and don't feel stressed. I always want to know what's going on." She complained and he elbowed her, an easy grin on his face.

"Hey relax, you'll find out when you find out. Right now, the Jedi are figuring out the next step and we're here, waiting and enjoying not being shot at. That's good enough, right?" He tried to persuade her and she shrugged with a sigh.

"Yeah, sure, I guess you're right." She conceded and it made him laugh as he viewed her slightly irritated expression.
"You're always so agreeable. It's nice having someone so constant around." He said as he teased her, and he dodged as she tried to smack him lazily from her position.

"Why don't you keep your mouth shut, ya cheeky nugget…" She muttered and he snorted and swatted her own hand away with barely any effort.

"Nugget? I have nearly 35 pounds on you, and about five inches and you're calling me a nugget? I'll show you nugget!" He tried to pounce on her and she saw a clone veteran, Jesse come over and wrap Keen up in what looked like a brotherly hug, but it was actually a restraint.

Keen glared over. "Get off me, I have my name to clear. I'll show you who's a nugget." He shifted his glare to her.
Kai danced up onto her feet and blew them both a kiss. "See you around, little guy. Thanks for the help, Jesse. He's just annoyed because I called him a nugget." She explained and Jesse laughed as he held onto his struggling brother.
"He is kind of like a little nugget, isn't he? All small and cute." Jesse slipped right into the joke and Keen practically seethed and glared up at his brother. "We're the same fekking size…"

Kai couldn't stop laughing and she took the opportunity of Jesse fending off his brother with a loud laugh, to jog out of the room and out into the hall.

As she walked out she passed Commander Tano and General Skywalker walking a man down the hall. And the man was none other than the infamous Cad Bane. She paused and raised an eyebrow as Bane made eye contact with her.

"Not so good now, are you?" She said slyly and he shook his head and glared at her. Here was one of the best bounty hunters in the galaxy, practically a legend, in handcuffs and she couldn't help but smile.
"I don't have time to be arguin' with a bounty hunter who has no name for herself." He said, his modulated voice rasping. Ahsoka stopped and looked back and forth between the two of them with, her eye ridge raised.

Kai laughed out loud, shocking some of the clones near them and even Bane himself. "Sure, keep telling yourself that, old man. Meanwhile I'm the one out of chains, so I'm just going to go enjoy my meal and hot caff. You have a good night now."

He growled at her quietly and she leaned forward and smiled as she waved at him, her eyes squinted and she turned back around. "Oh, you're so scary." She shook her head and continued down the hall, and bumped directly into Rex as she turned the corner and she jerked her thumb behind her with a grin.

"How'd they end up getting him? He's not exactly an easy man to catch. I mean, I've heard of him but the fight in the hanger bay's the closest I've ever been to him." She asked, and he paused in the hallway and folded his arms, his helmet held in one hand.

Rex couldn't help but smile momentarily at her question. "They were able to grab him on Naboo, when he was trying to kidnap a force sensitive child." Rex explained and her eyebrows raised in shock.

"That's what this is about? What, he's trying to round up a bunch of children? That's just messed up." Kai said, shocked at the news and pressed further. "Like, little kids?"
Rex nodded. "Yeah, pretty young." He saw her face harden a little and he put a hand on her shoulder. "They're going to be alright. The child on Naboo is safe and we'll get them all back." He reassured her and she took a deep breath. "You care about kids a lot, don't you?" He asked, and Kai nodded.

"Yeah, I do. Kids are just so innocent, yet they always seem to be the ones that get hurt, and it just makes me...so angry."

Images flashed in her head, of children suffering under the tyranny of gangs, or killed by raids. "If I could, I'd make sure no child was ever hurt again.

Rex's eyes softened as he watched her. In the back of his mind, he realized it might be a good idea that she never went to Kamino. If she was this upset at civilian children, there was no saying how angry she would become if she saw their younger brothers, being trained to fight since they were toddlers.
"They're going to find out where the rest of the children are, and we'll go from there." He gestured with his head. "I have to go down to the cells, but I will see you later." He said politely and she sighed a little and nodded.
"Yeah, go. I'm fine. I'm going to go hit the mats for a while. Just keep me updated." Then she paused and looked embarrassed. "Well, you don't have to, so ignore that."
Rex couldn't help but smile as she said that, and he gave her a small nod. "But of course, I will." Turning, his kama swinging, he made his way down the hall, feeling Kai's gaze on him the entire way.

The rest of the day passed with training and laughter as troopers filtered in and out of the training area.

What surprised her was that Rex kept her updated on what was happening.

~Children located~

~Jedi to Rogue Antar System~

~Children located on Mustafar~

As the messages pinged in she couldn't help but smile, feeling surprisingly warm towards the captain. He had absolutely no obligation or duty to send her these things, and she didn't even have a position in the GAR that required she know this, but she felt included as she and soldiers were updated together.

Included.

It had been a while since she'd felt that. Had she really become that distant and lonely since she'd been on her own?

Finally, it was time to sleep and she laid there for a while, faint refresher lights shining into the room and she heard two clones close to her talking about the next mission, making bets and calling maneuvers and she listened for a while, her eyes closed. Then she looked to her left and saw a trooper next to her named Ash, asleep and she sighed and rubbed her face before rolling onto her side. He was a good trooper, and his current state was what she should be doing.

As she closed her eyes, she heard a small whimper and she opened her eyes and saw Ash, a visible sheen of sweat visible in the dim light.

He made another noise and turned onto his side, and sounded like he was gasping for breath. She saw movement of another trooper looking up from his bed, but she looked down and suddenly she was by the side of his bed. When had she gotten up? She didn't remember but all she knew was that she didn't want this clone to suffer.
He gasped awake and seemed to stare right through her as his breath stuttered and she looked into his eyes.

"Hey, Ash you're ok." She said quietly and gently grabbed his hand and rubbed the back of it with her thumb. "You're ok. Just take some deep breaths."
"B-bad dream. It was a bad dream." He mumbled as he closed his eyes and sucked in a breath and she ran her hand over his shoulder and over his hair, smoothing it away from his ears and forehead.

"I'm sorry, honey." She soothed and sat down on the edge of the bed and kept her hand on his shoulder. He held onto it tightly until his breathing leveled out and his grip loosened.

She went to get up, but he held onto her wrist and looked up, his eyes sparkling in the light, his face creased with sleep and fear. "Please don't go." He said quietly and she felt her heart clench.

Young faces popped into her mind, children's faces as he said that. She remembered the two little boys she often babysat back home, and he looked just like them in that moment.
She paused for a moment and waved him to one side of the bed. "Here, scoot over."

He obeyed without question and she laid down next to him, her head higher than his and he scooted back over so his back was to her chest and she wrapped an arm around him and held on tightly. He kept a firm grip on her wrist until he started to fall asleep and she couldn't help but smile as she closed her own eyes and let sleep take her. Tomorrow was a big day.

0600.

She'd woken up after a decent night's sleep. Ash was wrapped around her and she had carefully extricated herself out from his arms and legs and without thinking she placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Then began her morning routine, and now she was here.

She received the next set of orders when the 501st was briefed on their next objective. They'd be going to an extremely dry planet, Geonosis. Kai had never been and from what she'd heard, she wasn't missing much.

Intel had told them that a droid factory was being built on there and their job was to destroy it and capture Poggle the Lesser. However, that feat would not be easy.
It would require a large invasion, and four different Jedi generals would lead the assault. The goal would be to attack the shield generator that was protecting the factory with an attack from three sides. Kai would be flying with the 501st with General Skywalker and it surprised her that she would be flying in a gunship and be used as ground support, instead of air support like she'd thought.

The goal was the stop the factory and capture Poggle, and she felt confident with that number, that they could accomplish their goal.

She did realize however, that for once in her life, she was completely out of her element.

With the briefing over, the commanders and sergeants and troopers split to get their gear ready for battle and as they grew closer to the target she knew the ships were being prepped to exit hyperspace. She walked to the 501st armory and bunk room and she leaned against the doorframe and watched.

Troopers were polishing up their weapons and strapping on their armor, getting ready to get on the gunships and she looked around at them with guarded eyes.

She realized she had no idea what war was like, what it was exactly that these men faced every day. She knew what skirmishes were like, and even the effect of a gang's presence on a town or village, but she couldn't ignore the pit in her stomach that she felt when she realized she wasn't going to see some of these faces when the fighting was over.

Her gaze went from trooper to trooper and she felt surprised at the pang that went through her chest.

There was Ash, looking very refreshed from his night of good sleep and he joked and laughed with his close brother Shiner. The two were known for teaming up on the mats to take down other troopers, and they'd even tried besting ARC troopers while she was watching. They'd lost of course, but it was entertaining to watch.

There was Jay the silver haired, short tempered trooper, who preferred his caff with no sweetener, but who had one of the best listening ears she'd ever experienced. A frustrating night of anxiety was lessened as he sat on her bunk in the mainly empty room and let her talk.

Wave, with his buzzed head was focused on his Z-6 blaster and as he did with everything else, he cleaned it with precision.

There was Spark, with his double stripe after losing his entire squad his second mission. He didn't smile a lot, but she watched him care for the new troopers that entered their platoon.

And of course, Charger, his name coming from his ready-to-fight attitude already evident as he clasped another brother's hand, Ray by the look of it. Those two were inseparable

as well, and the masterminds behind many pranks.

And Keen, who she regarded with a smile. Not many troopers knew, but he was terrified of the dark, and it was only the snores and sounds of his brothers that soothed him enough to sleep. For that reason, he slept near the door, and she regarded him fondly.

She took a deep breath and shook her head as she stood up fully and she turned and walked down the hall. She had everything she needed, it was just at her ship and she could grab it easily when they loaded into the gunships, which by the sounds of it, was very soon. She heard the sounds of soldiers beginning to walk down the hallway and she looked up just in time to see Rex's familiar shoulder pauldron and kama.

She smiled up at him, but she hated how forced it felt. Her mind was beginning to think about how she may not see them when this was done, and she felt conflicted as to why she cared so much. Rex seemed to sense it and he stopped right in front of her.

"Hey, are you ok? he asked. "You seem tense…that's not like you. First battle like this?" He questioned her and she nodded. He removed his helmet and his amber eyes stared at her in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that…" she paused, not sure how to continue. She looked back up and Rex was staring at her patiently as he waited for her to get it out. "How many men are going to make it back from this? Are we going to lose a lot?"

Rex's face hardened and his face grew sad, something she hadn't ever seen on him before. It made him look so tired, and worn.

"If we're lucky, less than half. But we can only plan for what we think the landings will be like. It's never as easy as we plan for it to be. But we're going to do our best to get as many men down there and back as possible." He sighed, suddenly sounding very tired and Kai regretted asking him the question in the first place. "But it's war, and we have to be willing to pay the price for the system we believe in."
Kai shrugged a little bit as he said that. "I get that, I do. I just feel like I've barely gotten to know the men, and I really like all of you. You're kind and respectful and funny. Is it going to be like this every time?" She asked and he put his hand back on her shoulder, the warmth and weight comforting to her. She looked at it and then at him, and then he smiled just a tiny bit and tightened his hold.

"You've got a good heart, Kai. The men realize that and appreciate it more than I think you'll ever understand. I don't know that most people in the galaxy give a second thought, or a first thought for that matter, to whether we live or die. To them we're clones, and we're expendable pieces in a war. To have someone care about us, as individuals, the way you do, that means more than words can express."
His cheeks darkened as he heard himself say those words and Kai took a deep breath before placing her hand on his for a moment, not saying anything. His hand was warm and she was amazed at how connected she felt to him for only being here for a short time.

They stayed like that for just a moment, the ship quiet around them and she was sure her breathing and heartbeat was the only audible sound. She closed her eyes and looked away before she looked back at him with determination in her eye. "Well, you aren't expendable to me, and I'd convince everyone of that if I could." She glared, and he tried to protest and she quieted him. "I'm going to get as many of you home as I can, I promise." She didn't know how, but she was going to try.

Rex smiled when she said that, and he stepped a little closer. He opened his mouth to say something when his comm beeped and that sound startled the mood that had settled over the hall and he cleared his throat and stepped back. "Thank you, Kai. Pardon I need to take this."
She blushed. "Of course." She stood back as well and nodded before going to her ship and pulling out the necessary equipment she would need for a fight.

She strapped on her pistol, slung her rifle over her shoulder and slid her knife into the sheath on her leg. She paused with her hand over the compact backpack holding a few medpacks. It wasn't the best, but it had some basic items for injuries. Surely there weren't enough medics to go around completely. She thought for a moment and then strapped it on tight to her back and walked out into the hallway and down into the hanger bay. The sounds of gunships engines reverberated through the hanger and she walked over to where she saw everyone. She smiled and waved as Kix made eye contact with her, and he immediately saw the medpack and seemed grateful.

"You're trained in field medicine?" he asked, and she shrugged a little.

"I mean, I know the basics. I know how to keep someone from dying." She stated and looked at him. "I'll need more official training if this is a success."
He laughed a little and grabbed a few things from his own backpack and slid them in. "Coagulant and pain reliever. You should have some bone stabilizers as well and some splints." He slid in some from his own pack as well. "Do you need wrapping?" He asked and she shook her head. "No, I know I have some of those, and bacta."
He shook his head and slid in some canisters. "Bacta spray" he explained. "Good for head trauma if helmets get cracked. Different than the patches."
She kept herself from swallowing as she imaged what would have to happen to crack the sturdy helmets they all wore.

She saw General Skywalker come up with Ahsoka next to him and he smiled at his captain.

"We all ready, Rex?" He asked and Rex nodded as he slid on his helmet and grabbed an overhead strap.

"Yes sir. General Kenobi is already underway." He replied and Kai couldn't help but grin at the competitive look that settled over Skywalker's face. He was brash and competitive but the men had told her story after story of him putting himself in danger to help them. He seemed like an excellent leader and friend to his men.

"Well he's got a head start. We'll have to catch up." He replied and the gunship lifted off and she couldn't help but feel a nervous pounding in her chest as she held tight to her own strap.

She was entering a battle. She accepted this job and everything that went with it. Why did this feel so much bigger? It was, to be sure, but how did she end up fighting in a war, that she hadn't cared about most of her life?
Rex handed over a comm and gestured to his wrist. "So, we can keep in contact with the generals and the rest of the force." She smiled at a little at him. As she took it.
"Ah, great, thank you." She snapped it into place and let herself and her thoughts fall silent, the sounds of the engine all she could hear.
She knew they'd entered the atmosphere when she heard the sound of large cannon rounds being fired and the ship jostled as the pilots dogged the oncoming assault.

She swallowed nervously and planted her feet more steadily as they flew and she clenched her fist, and saw some of the other troopers shuffle as well.

She looked over and gave them a thumbs up and a wink. "Let's do this, boys." She said, surprising herself with how enthusiastic she sounded, and one of them laughed in return.

Kai, very quickly found out how quickly things move in a battle.

One moment she was standing there, palms sweating and the next moment it felt as though they'd rammed right into something and been knocked out of hyperspace.

There was dust and smoke in the air, accompanied by smell of something burning. She coughed and squinted and the entire side of the ship was on fire, the sound of an alarm screaming shrilly as they lost altitude.

She could see through the slats and she watched as another transport was hit and the entire thing exploded into flames.

Between their descending gunship and her own brain fog, she somehow saw that in slow motion. That was an entire gunship of troopers that just got shot down. They all died, just like that and there was nothing the rest of the force could do for them.

What in galaxy's name had she signed up for?
Her thoughts were shoved out of her head as they slammed into the ground and she barely managed to keep hold of the loop at the top of the gunship but she stumbled and her face hit into another trooper's breastplate and she grunted. They jolted and careened to a stop and she coughed through the dust and smoke.

"Is this a normal occurrence" She thought to herself and then Skywalker lifted off the entire door of the gunship.

"Come on!" He yelled. "Get up! We have to keep moving."

They all filed out and readied their blasters and she slung the gun off her shoulder and adjusted her sight.

"Here they come!" Charger yelled and she looked through the scope. Holy kriff those bugs were ugly, she thought as she took aim and pulled the trigger.

Her shots hit home as she took shot after shot, but it was hard to aim the through sand and debris kicked up by the continuous onslaught of enemy fire.

It felt like all of her senses were on overload, yet somehow, she knew she'd get used to it. She would maybe have to try combat simulations on base to try and get used to all the noise.

She spotted through her scope the bunkers the Geonosians shot through and they looked to be good cover and she stored that away for further use.

"They're falling back. Come on!" Ahsoka yelled, her voice surprisingly rough for such a young woman, but it was filled with command.

Kai scrambled up to the top of the trench and ran a short distance to another one and slid in before crouching with a few other clones. Rex and the Jedi debated something in heated voices, and she wiped the sweat from her forehead.

She looked over and wiped her eyes, staring into a black visor right in front of her. A quick glance at his armor hold her that this is a shiny, a term she picked up from some of the veterans. This was a new trooper, and this was most likely his first battle. She didn't even know his designation.

"You holding up?" he asked, and she nodded and clasped his outstretched hand tightly as she held back a smile. He was asking her how she was holding up.

"I had no idea it was like this." She admitted, raising her voice to be heard above the noise.

The clone laughed and popped up to fire off a round of shots and she saw some of the enemy fire decrease.

He shouted at her. "Just keep firing and we'll make it out of-"

She felt heat and saw red, and a blaster shot hit his upper chest and he crumpled to the ground.

She hadn't even seen it coming.

"Trooper!" She yelled as she dragged him to where she was, thanking Ozan for teaching her

basic first aid. She bent over him and put her fingers right under the lip of his helmet where his

pulse would be. Check his pulse, then get a bacta patch on that blaster wound. He might just

make it out, if she acted fast enough.

But there was no pulse.

No.

She stared at his helmet and she hitched in a breath as she pulled his helmet off, his

amber eyes starting sightlessly up at the hazy sky.

No. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to train them and they were

supposed to make it back. The conversation with Rex came screaming back into her head,

shoving all other thoughts away.

"Are we going to lose a lot?" "If we're lucky, less than half."

"It's war. We have to be willing to pay the price."

"We're just clones."

"We're expendable pieces in a war."

Kai had seen death, brought it to many bounties, but somehow in the middle of all the dust and

sand and dirt, something changed for her.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.