It had been exactly eighteen days and four hours since Edward had collapsed in the music room. In a blink of an eye he'd gone from healthy teenager to full time resident of the oncology floor of the Forks General Hospital. An MRI and endless blood tests had revealed the presence of a brain tumor. The tumor was large, but his situation wasn't without hope. A combination of chemotherapy and radiation could shrink the tumor for surgery later in the year. Until it was known how he would react to the treatment there would be no school, piano lessons, or anything more strenuous than lifting a tv remote. It wasn't at all how Edward imagined spending sophomore year of high school.
Edward ran his fingers through his hair and was horrified by the sight that greeted him. A clump of his bronze hair, which many called his most distinguishing feature, was stuck between his thumb and index finger. This latest side effect seemed like needless cruelty. Hadn't he already been through enough? His mouth was one giant blister and it was impossible to keep anything other than plain broth down. What had he done to deserve this hell?
Edward rolled over onto his side to look at the yellow tulips sitting on the bedside table. The flowers were a gift from Bella. Over the last few days she had sent him books, CDs, and a big box of chocolates. The only thing that hadn't arrived was Bella herself. She told him on the phone that she'd visit, but never made good on her promise. Exams, bad weather, and a cold were a few of her excuses. Edward wondered if she was distancing herself in preparation for a breakup.
The longer Edward stared at the tulips the angrier he got. The hospital was less than a mile away from Bella's house. On a clear night she could see it from her bedroom window. It would have been easy to stop by after school. If she didn't feel like walking Jasper and Alice were more than willing to drive her. His brother, Emmett, and his wife had cut their honeymoon short to be there for him. Why couldn't Bella spare fifteen minutes to show him she still cared?
Edward though back to last Christmas. Alice had the brilliant idea of giving Bella a pair of ice skates. As expected, Bella didn't even make it fifteen minutes without hurting herself. She tripped, sliced her wrist open, and fainted from the sight of the blood. Edward scooped her up and rusted her to the emergency room. He held her hand while she received 47 stitches and remained there until she was released the following morning. Why couldn't Bella return the favor for him? Didn't she understand how much he needed her?
In an attempt to calm himself, Edward turned on the TV. He flipped through endless channels of sappy holiday movies. He didn't need to watch for a single second to know how things would end. The bakery, Christmas tree farm, or small town hotel would be saved and the guy would get the girl. It was shugary sweet nonsense. Had there been anything in his stomach he would have through up for the eleventh time that day.
Edward threw the remote at the tulips in frustration. The vase shattered sending shards of glass and water in every diffection. Real life wasn't like a Hallmark movie. If he made a movie he'd included divorces, failed businesses, and sick people who didn't get better. It wouldn't be very festive, but at least it would be honest. If there was one thing the world needed it was morning people willing to be honest.
Edward picked up a fallen flower and started to pick the petals off one at a time. A knock at the door saved the tulip from further mutilation. Alice entered the room with a firm grip on bony Bella's shoulder. Bella was red faced and looked seconds away from tears.
"Look what I found in the lobby." Alice said. "I grabbed her before she could make a run for it." She deposited Bella in a chair. "I'll give the two of you some privacy. I'll be in the cafeteria with Jasper if you need anything."
Bella and Edward sat in silence. It wasn't a peaceful silence like in their meadow. This was an awkward silence. Edward had spent hours rehearsing what he would say to her. Why was it that his mind went blank when she finally showed up?
"So how's school?" Edward asked, unable to take the silence any longer.
"Fine," Bella replied as she fiddled with a charm on her bracelet.
Bella had missed eight out of the last ten days of school. Alice asked, but she never gave an explanation. It was odd behavior for a girl hoping to become valedictorian.
"How were finals?" Edward asked. "I hear the English final was rough."
"It was."
According to Jasper, Bella had spent the entire exam block staring out the window. She didn't answer a single question. The test should have been a breeze for her. It was centered around Wuthering heights, her favorite book. She'd read it enough times to wear out the spine. Edward was planning on getting her a new copy for Christmas.
"How was the reenactment?" Edward asked.
"It was good."
Jasper had protested, but Edward had insisted the history club field trip proceed as scheduled. Everyone else didn't have to miss out because he was in the hospital. Jasper invited Bella, but she never showed up.
Edward was tired of the lies. They'd promised to always be truthful to each other even when the truth wasn't pretty.
"I'm tired to beat around the bush." Edward closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "Where have you been the last few weeks?"
"Around."
"That's not a real answer." He paused before adding, "Is there something wrong? Maybe something you'd like to talk about?"
"Nothing is wrong."
"Then why can't you look me in the eye?" For the first time ever, Edward raised his voice at Bella. "Do you hate me for getting sick? Am I ugly to you now?"
"You're not ugly!" Bella hiccuped. "I love you!"
"Then why haven't you come to see me?"
"I couldn't!"
"Yes you could!" Edward insisted. "It's a five mintue walk from your house. You haven't been going to school, so there's no reason why you couldn't have spared 15 minutes for a visit!"
"You don't get it." Bella said, looking down at her boots. "Being here is hard for me."
"Hard for you?" Edward laughed. "In case you didn't know, I'm the one with the brain tumor. They're going to pump me full of poison, blast me with radiation, and cut my head open. So tell me again why it's you this is hard for!"
Bella still couldn't look him in the eye and he wasn't sure if he wanted her to. Would those brown eyes full of love, hate, or worst of all pity. He'd seen all three over the past few days.
"You don't understand," Bella whispered. I love you."
"That's a lie!"
Edward turned away from Bella. He wouldn't look at the face of a liar. If she loved him she this wouldn't have been her first visit. She would have been there at his side. He would have done for her had the situation been reversed.
"I get it now," Edward snarled. "Your parents didn't love you and now you can't love me."
Edward knew he had crossed a line as soon as he said those words. Bella was his girlfriend not his emotional punching bag. She attended his piano recitals, listed to him nerd out over Star Wars, and always kept his secrets. They laughed over the same jokes and loved the same movies and artists. They may have only been sixteen, but Edward knew he had found his soulmate. Why had he questioned that love? There was clearly something wrong with Bella. Tumor or not, it was his job to figure out what was causing her erratic behavior.
Edward rolled over to face Bella. "I'm sorry it's just been.." he trailed off mid sentence when he saw her face. Bella Dwyer, the girl who said tears were just weakness leaving the body, was crying. It broke his heart to see the tears streaming down her face. She deserved better than being screamed at.
"I..I.. I have to go," Bella stammered. "I can't do this again." She blinked to clear her damp eyes. "I think that it's best that I don't come back. I won't ever bother you again."
Wait," Edward cried, Please don't go! I'm sorry!"
Edward's words were spoken a second too late. The only thing remaining in Bella's chair was an abandoned coat. Bella had fled the room and disappeared around the corner. Edward knew she would keep her promise this time. She wouldn't be back anytime soon and it was all his fault.
