Between the veil in her face, the sound of her heartbeat banging in her ears, and the tremors in her legs, Claire was surprised she was able to keep a straight face. There was a team of women, mostly hired, all shuffling around her. There was just under an hour to go now, then she'd meet her brother on the other side of the door for him to take her down the isle and to her new life- No turning back, no running away.
Of course, all she could thing about since she'd woken up that morning was running away. She liked Sirius, sure. And on a level all his own, she loved him. But it was closer to where she held her brother, or Lily, or any good friend. He was not husband material. He was not really a good match for her, and she knew she wasn't the sort he'd choose for himself either. But vows had been made to her father, and for the sake of her family she had her own vows to do today. Claire sighed and threw the sheer lace veil from her face and took a deep breath. "I can't breath." She commented to Lily.
"Shall I loosen your corset, mistress?" One of Walburga's hired maids ask, stepping forward. Claire shook her head.
"No, no. Could you please leave us for a moment?" Lily ask kindly, shooing the others away from Claire and her large mirror. She looked the younger witch over, noting that despite her makeup she looked pale.
"Lily-"
"It's going to be okay." Lily reassured her. Claire ripped the veil from her head, the comb holding it in place sliding out easily. Her hair had so much product in it to stay in a sleek bun on her head that it didn't budge when the adornment was torn away.
"It isn't." She sputtered. She was crying, but Lily had already taken the precaution of waterproofing everything before hand. "Everyone keeps saying that, like if I get through today it'll be over. But they fail to realize I'll be married to Sirius Black. Forever. And-" She choked a bit, and took the glass of water Lily conjured, sipping slightly before continuing. "And that will be my life. Forever."
"I'm sorry." Lily said quietly, she rested a hand on the growing baby bump that was very ill hidden beneath her dress. "I have spent a long time thinking of another way. But because James made the vow to your father, we're all sort of stuck. And really- it is your safest choice."
"Is safety worth it if I am not free?" Claire ask, looking in the mirror. Her tears were fading now. Lily held out a vial containing a deep purple liquid. She shook it slightly and it bubbled wildly inside it's corked area, even without exposure to air.
"I know this is cheating- But there is a fair chance you two will be happy together one of these days, and when you are, you'll want good pictures. Why not take this and at least enjoy the day?" She shook the potion. Claire shook her head.
"No. I've thought a lot about this. I have to decide to make the most of it, and everyone is right. I'm just being ridiculous. I know this is how it is. I am better off. Guess I just needed to get that out of my system. I mean... All Remus ever did was break my heart. Over, and over, and over again. And I let him. Begged him for another chance to be shattered. But Sirius- He is loyal to a fault. Papa ask him to do this, and he will. So I just need to-" She stopped and sipped her water again, wiping a tear that tracked down her cheek. "I just need to let go."
"That's- very mature of you." Lily commented.
"Walburga has told Sirius to ask me to stop taking the contraceptives." She replied. "And she has a lot of power in our lives. So Sirius reckons he and James grew up together, so yours needs someone, so we shouldn't argue with her. Just comply." The dark haired witch was looking down, but she shrugged and smiled. "It's the only thing he's asked me for."
"Oh." Lily looked shocked, and she simply didn't know what to say. Claire and Sirius truly had lost every bit of control they had in their own lives.
"It's not so bad. I mean, at least I know he's defiantly not terrible in bed." She laughed, and her face made Lily crack up too. Claire wiped her face.
"Are you good?" Lily ask, hugging her.
"I will be, because I now choose to be." She replied.
"That's a very wise way to think. I like it." Lily said. Claire shrugged and gave a sad smile.
"Are you ready to go?" James ask from the door, where he had leaned in. Claire nodded and Lily moved past him, stopping for a brief kiss as she headed out to walk down the aisle. Lily was her only bridesmaid, as most of her friends either weren't suited to Walburga's taste, or were lost due to the fissures that the Black family and her own had caused within their lives. She resented her name, the political status that simply being alive had posed to her.
Outside the door of the largest banquet hall the Royal Pluviam Viridi, the biggest and most lavish Hotel in the magical United Kingdom, James paused. Lily walked slowly, with the pace of the music the band was playing. "Claire-" James started, and he turned his sister to face him, and she momentarily threw her veil out of the way to see him.
"James." She said, looking her older sibling over. He looked tired, and saddened.
"I'm sorry. I wish the world was different, and there weren't things to fear and reasons to do things like this. But it'll be okay. We'll all stick together." James said. Claire smiled and pulled the taller wizard down to her in a tight hug.
"I know. Thank you." She said quietly.
"You do look very beautiful, ClaireBear. Mum and Papa would be very proud." He smiled, again more sadly than Claire knew he meant to. He held out his hand for her to take so he could get ready to walk her in to give her away when the music changed, and she felt guilty. James could be irrational, impulsive, and prone to stubborn outbursts, but she loved her brother. The visible silver-white swirl of vows made to their late father shimmered, his task nearly complete and the charm sensing it. James was a lot of things, Claire knew. But he was also endlessly giving, and selfless to those he loved most. He was not afraid of a fight or sacrifice when it was needed. Claire flipped her veil back down and took his hand as the music changed.
"I've got you." He said quietly as he slowly guided her into the room. She couldn't see hardly a thing through her thick lace veil, but she could hear the gentle sound of violins playing, and murmurs in the crowd as she walked ever so slowly down the aisle where she knew Sirius waited. Her guts twisted, and for a fleeting moment she embraced the idea of shoving her brother down and running. Forget Sirius, Remus, the war. Just running. But she couldn't. Like James, she had a duty to her family. She felt him stop her, and for a moment, her breath hitched. No running. James gently laid her hand in Sirius', who ran his thumb over her knuckles in comfort.
A ministry official spoke, a greeting to all present, a small speech about the joyous joining of two such Noble and Powerful houses, about love. Claire found it hard to listen. Between his dry mono-toned voice and the clear propaganda in his words, she couldn't help but try and not listen. She felt Sirius adjust his feet, and she figured he, too, was growing tired of the speech. It was not long before his words changed however, and began binding the two of them together. Magic overcame them, and Claire felt dizzy. Sirius seemed to notice, and he steadied her with his free hand. When it was over, Sirius gently lifted her veil and tossed it back, smiling much like James.
"I get to kiss you now." He said quietly, pulling her close. Claire blinked and before she had time to register what had happened, she felt her own arms locking behind Sirius' neck, falling into the kiss for the moment. The crowded room cheered and clapped, and when he stepped away, once again he had to steady her.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, by the Power vested in my by the United Kingdom Ministry for Magic it is my honor to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Orion Black." The official announced, before he stepped back and off the side of the stage. Sirius held Claire's hand in the air and gave a small bow, and she followed suit with a small curtsy, finally getting to survey the room. Walburga had overdone decorations, in gaudy gold. There were very few people she actually liked and wanted to be at her wedding, but most of the seats were filled. She swallowed and smiled as they walked through the crowd, who had stood for the couple to come through. Claire's hands were shaking, her head faint, but at least this part was over. Perhaps, she hoped, she'd feel like herself again soon. But for now she bottled everything down, preparing herself for what life had waiting next.
On their way down the aisle and back out, Claire couldn't help but watch Walburga, grinning in such a large, sickeningly sweet way. She knew she'd just became property for the House of Black; A power she knew Walburga was planning to use to the fullest, and there was little Sirius could do to save her from the domestic hell Claire knew the Black family Matriarch had planned for her.
That night, despite what had been, surprisingly, a fairly fun reception- Stupid and embarrassing speech by her brother included, and a not un-enjoyable arrival in the hotel room she and Sirius had reserved, Claire couldn't sleep. She tossed over and over a few times before pulling out of her new husband's embrace and coming over to the window to sit. The stars shone brightly overhead, as the hotel was off on its own resort property and did not have lights to ruin the view. She sighed, pressing her cheek into the glass. Her life was different now, and mostly she was angry at him for leaving her over and over, but she couldn't help but wonder if wherever he was, Remus was okay. A tear slid down her face, catching on the window where she was laying and streaking down. She gave a heavy sigh and resolved to let it all go, and climbed back into the warmth of her bed, where Sirius pulled her to him.
