The music is only to help him set a tempo for his in-house workout. It's here, in one of the spare rooms downstairs off the kitchen, that he usually pushes himself the hardest, and this afternoon is no different. In a tank top that's drenched in sweat after a grueling, yet short feeling session of intense weight lifting, he's now on the floor, hammering out sit-ups as fast as he can, lifting a thirty-pound weight with him behind his head.

He manages to get to twenty before he crashes, panting. "Ahh..." he almost sighs, the taste of salt running over his lips as the sweat stains his late day scruff.

He likes it because he can't think while he's working out. That's what it started as, him working out again. Just a way to keep everything else in his head quiet. Then it started as a backward way into vanity, showing that he doesn't need her to look good or draw looks, that he doesn't need her to make himself feel young and healthy. Mean-spirited, perhaps, but it kept him at it in the early days.

Now, it's part of the new leaf he's turned over. It's just part of his routine now. Something he does as normally as brushing his teeth before and after bed.

After a few more heavy breaths, he rolls himself over onto his stomach, grabbing the dumbbell and lifting his knees off the ground. He lets out a tight breath and starts to lift the weight straight up off the ground, feeling his muscles break apart with a burn in his triceps. After fifteen reps, he stops only for a moment before grabbing the other weight that lay next to him and working the other arm.

Seven... eight... he thinks when he hears Alexis knock on the door. He has to keep the door closed or else Sasha would take him on the floor as an invitation to demand him pet her, no matter if he's in the middle of something or not. "Come in! Nine..." he says.

The door opens and he can hear Sasha's tags jangle behind his daughter. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey, pumpkin," he strains as he lifts the weight up in his eleventh rep.

Sasha whimpers as she pushes between the door jam and Alexis' legs and jogs over to him, rubbing her wet nose around his ear and down his jaw. Castle starts to laugh as the dog tickles him. "Sasha," he chuckles as he lifts the weight up for his... "you're making me lose count." He laughs as Sasha takes the sound of his voice as an invitation.

Overcome with laughter as Sasha pushes herself underneath him and under his arm, Castle gives up and rolls over onto his back, using his pulsating and heavy arms to take his dog up and roll her on top of his chest.

"This is why I don't let you in here!" He faux-lectures as he scratches Sasha's ribcage.

"Here, Dad," Alexis says after watching the two of them for a moment, "I figured you'd want this." She says as he moves to sit up right against the wall opposite of the entrance into the room.

Castle smiles, still catching his breath, and nods, taking the cold bottle of water from his daughter. "Thank you, sweetie." He says as Sasha stands next to him at eye level as he sits on the floor, poking him with her nose to keep him petting her. After twisting open the bottle of water, he lethargically lifts his hand and puts it in the thick fur behind Sasha's ear. "You're home kinda early, aren't you?"

Alexis shrugs and sits down across from him on the weight bench. "My afternoon class got canceled."

"Well, that's good." He says, finally able to catch his breath and down a long drink of water as his dog curls up next to him in a large ball.

"I heard about what happened this morning." She says, her voice small and cautious.

"What happened this morning?" He asks her as he plays with Sasha's ears, drawing a blank as to what she's talking about.

Alexis shakes her head, as if he's missing the obvious. "Cecilia's sister asking you out on a date?"

Realizing what she's talking about, and also that it had completely skipped his mind, he gives her a long nod as he cranes his neck backward. "Oh... that..." he says, taking another quick drink of water. "I forgot about that." He thinks out loud. "Wait-" he stops, smiling honestly at the situation, "how'd you hear about that?"

"She was checking her mail when I pulled up and we got to talking." Alexis innocently shrugs her shoulders.

"Ah," he smiles, "you live in the loft your entire life and I bet you can't even tell me the name of the neighbors across the hall." Alexis smirks defensively. "Yet, when it comes to my personal business, you'll talk to the neighbors here all day, right?" He plays along, not at all mad at his daughter as he lifts the almost empty bottle of water to his mouth again.

"She's the one that brought it up, Dad." She says, crossing her arms as she leans back against the wall and kicks her legs out longways. "She said that you ran into her sister while you were jogging this morning and she asked you out."

"She asked me to get a cup of coffee with her, Alexis. I'd hardly consider that a date." He defends himself.

"Is that why you shot her down?"

"I-I..." he struggles for a quick answer. "Alexis, she's just not really my type, okay?"

"Dad," she grins, half-hearted yet knowingly, "I was shown pictures of her."

"Yeah, and?" He shrugs.

"She's really pretty, that's all I'm saying."

"Okay," Castle almost chuckles and waves the bottle of water at her to get her to slow down, "why is it so important to you all of the sudden that I say yes to this woman?"

"It's just that you haven't gotten out much since we moved out here." Alexis shrugs again.

"Alexis," he starts with a lift in his brow and a smirk, "if I wanted a redhead to butt into my personal life, I would have gotten your grandmother to move out here with us."

"Dad," Alexis chuckles, shaking her head. And as Castle downs the rest of the water in one long chug, he can sense Alexis has something to say and is only taking her time to muster up the courage to say it. "Dad, do you still have feelings for her?"

The question makes him stop, the light hearted feeling he usually has, sitting in his home gym with his loving oversized lapdog sleeping next to him and his loving daughter talking to him, vanishes, replaced with a venomous snake serpentining around his heart. "Lex..." he sighs.

"I mean, it's been almost nine months, Dad."

"I know that, sweetheart." He says in a soothing voice, more for her than him.

"I'm not saying you have to go chasing after Cecilia's sister or anything, but it might have been a good way to just test the waters. So..." she rushes, looking over to him with an honest twinge of worry in her eyes. "I guess I'm just wondering if a part of you is still waiting for her to come around."

"Well," he smiles softly, "I can put that worry to rest now because I'm not." He says easily. "Look, Alexis," he starts as he stands up, waiting for her to stand up in front of her. "Do I still have feelings? Yes, of course, I still have feelings." He shrugs casually.

Alexis nods, almost sadly in front of him.

"But the feelings I have," he says reassuringly as he reaches up to take hold of her arms caringly, "are for the woman I met in New York. I fell in love with a woman I was partners with in the NYPD. And as far as I'm concerned, that woman doesn't exist anymore. She might as be a..." he shakes his head, trying to think of a term, "a figment of my imagination. I might as well have fallen in love with Nikki Heat, okay?"

"But Dad," Alexis fights, still worried, "that's not saying that those feelings you have aren't real."

"No, it's not." He agrees. "But I promise, I'll find someone else when I'm ready. And if anything, I think you'd take it as a good sign that I'm not jumping right back into it."

Alexis pauses, looking away from him before she nods with an emotional smile up at him.

"But just so you know, my being ready may take a while. That's why I shot Sierra down. Because you know, probably better than anyone else... that I lost more than just a girlfriend when she left."

"Yeah, I know, Dad." She agrees knowingly.

Castle nods with a soft smile. "You're really happy out here?" He asks, changing the subject.

Alexis smiles brightly and nods. "Yeah, I am."

Castle smiles and rubs his daughter's arms lovingly. "Good, now you might want to get out of here before I hug you when I'm all sweaty."

Alexis chuckles and rolls her eyes. "Love you, Dad."

"You too, pumpkin." He says with a loving smile as he watches her turn out of the door and down the hall into the kitchen.

On a hard sigh, letting the smile fall, he feels himself harden again.

That's why he hates talking about her. It takes so damn long getting that lighthearted, blissful feeling he had when she came in with Sasha back. Just a couple seconds and he's right back to where he was after she left, drinking himself into as much of a coma as he can, hating the world for ever existing and giving him that kind of misery. After a moment, his eyes cautiously flick over to where he has his things from his pockets piled up. He knows he'll hate himself for it, but there's no stopping it now. He quickly moves to the window and moves his phone off his wallet and flips it open, digging into the side pocket with his fingers.

When he feels the soft, thick cloth, he holds his breath and tugs it out of the folds of the pocket. He swallows thickly and takes the small piece of thick, protective fabric in his palm and feels his throat quiver painfully and emotionally as he pulls the ring out of its thick, cloth casing.

He had it all imagined in his head. Down to her reaction.

Stuffing the ring back into the casing, he tosses the ring back down into the crease of his wallet and moves out of the room.


She only has the courage to gaze at the latest picture of them she has on her phone.

One of them at his birthday party. She knows there are so many other pictures of them somewhere, taken by friends. Some of just the two of them, of just him, just her, amazingly since they were almost inseparable the entire night. Some are probably of them with their friends. But this one, the one she's staring at now, is all she has the emotional strength to bare looking at. She can't fathom what kind of torment she'd put herself through swiping any further.

Just a simple selfie, one of countless others that are on this phone, she took of her wrapped into his side, her eyes closed as she moves to kiss him on the cheek but missed and him pressing his forehead down onto her temple in loving reverence of everything she did for him, a happy smile splitting his face as he gently presses his fingers to her jawline to bring her in for a kiss. She loves this one because it was just so mistimed in what she was trying to capture, but ended up capturing something so much more telling.

She can tell, looking at this picture now that what she caught is what it's like between them when they let the world fall away. It's what they searched each other for.

With cold tears still running down her face, she smiles as the thought rounds the bases again and comes at her, making her chuckle sadly as she pets the screen of her phone with the pad of her thumb, right where his cheek is.

Her flight leaves late tomorrow night. It gives her plenty of time to go by the storage unit and pack what she missed after her stuff gets delivered. Until then, she sits, curled up on the couch she grew up watching cartoons on in a pair of sweats that she dug haphazardly out of her suitcase. She doesn't have the energy to get up and cook something, and her dad's phone is going straight to voicemail. She would just breakdown and order in, but she can't really waste the money when she knows that there's plenty of food just a distance of ten feet away in the kitchen.

Luckily, she hears a key being jangled in the lock. She takes one last look at the picture and hits the home button before locking her phone and standing up. The door opens to a confused looking Jim Beckett, wondering who's in his apartment. It takes him just a second to see his daughter standing in the middle of the living room waiting for him to see her and when he does, he drops his travel shoulder bag to the floor next to the door and extends his arms.

"Katie!" He says, surprised.

Beckett smiles and doesn't waste time in stepping up and hugging him, aching for some genuine love and support. Wrapping her arms around her father, she smiles and feels like a shield is brought over her when he puts his arms around her. "Hey, Dad."

Jim is silent and simply hugs his daughter for a long minute before rubbing her back tenderly and stepping back. "I wasn't expecting you here. What's going on?"

Beckett smiles, knowing she has to lie again. "With Sofie in my apartment, I thought I'd stay here for a night or two, if that's okay."

"Of course, sweetie, you know this is still your home." Jim says, rubbing her arms lovingly. "But what's up? Did something happen with your job with the AG's office?"

Beckett chuckles, and shakes her head. "Uh..." she tries, "think you can get some food in my stomach before I explain? I'm starving."

Jim complies immediately, "Of course, come on."

After an easy-going forty-five minutes, the lasagna is in the oven and Jim is refilling two mugs of black coffee on the counter as she sits in a chair at the dining table just outside of the kitchen. "Thanks for making dinner, Dad. I'm not sure I could have managed it."

"You look pretty tired, Katie." He points out as he sets the mug down in front of her. "Is everything going okay in DC?"

Beckett sniffles and pulls her legs up to her chest, resting her shins against the edge of the table. "I quit the AG's office yesterday, Dad." She says, taking a small sip of the bitter coffee.

Jim simply stars at her, leaning forward and watching her with his mug clasped in his hands. "You did?" He attempts.

"Mmhmm," Beckett smiles and sets her mug back down to the table. "They weren't really interested in the kind of justice that I'm built for, so... I took it upon myself to resign."

Jim takes her answer for a moment and nods, letting her sink down into him accepting it. "Katie," he says after a moment, gaining her eyes, "you forget that I was married to your mother?"

Her smiles gets heavy at the edges and her eyes lose the sense of security in that instant.

"I know you, Katie." Jim says with a stern look. "Even if they weren't doing what's right, you wouldn't have just walked away." All she can do is look at him, knowing there's nothing she can do. "You would have done what's right and taken whatever punishment they threw at you, but you wouldn't have just quit."

Her throat is quaking with her spine and she can feel another wave of cold tears run down her face as she looks down to her knees. "I screwed up, Dad."

Jim blinks at her, "Well, what happened?"

She shakes her head. "I can't tell you, Dad." When he sends her a pinched brow, she lifts her hand. "No, Dad, I can't tell you because it's classified. All I can tell you is that..." she sighs a shaky sigh and tucks her hands back into the fold of her legs, "is that I'm very lucky to even have this chance at... losing everything." She finishes in a low tone, hanging her head.

Jim seems to nod, used to her hiding things because of her job, and doesn't push any further on the subject. "What do you mean, sweetie, lost everything?"

Beckett sniffs in a congested breath. "Because of what happened, I've been barred from law enforcement."

Jim pauses for a moment before asking, "So does that mean you can't go back to the NYPD?"

She's nodding before he can finish. "I can't act in law enforcement in any capacity..." she clarifies, looking at him with emotion vibrating in her eyes, "at all."

"Well," he thinks, shrugging his shoulders," have you thought about doing PI work? Private security maybe?"

"Dad," she rolls her eyes, "I didn't graduate an All-star from the Academy to work as a mall cop and follow around cheating husbands."

"So-" Jim starts, but shakes his head and stops himself for a moment. "So, what are you planning on doing then?"

"Well, my flight leaves tomorrow night, so I was hoping you'd give me a ride." She says with a sad smile.

"Your flight? Your flight where, Kate?"

Her sadness draining, she looks back up to her father. "Eugene airport."

Jim's brow remains straightened with confusion. "Eugene, where's that?"

"It's in Oregon." She says to him, deciding to explain before she has to wait for him to ask it all out of her. "I'm flying out there for Castle."

When she says that name, a part of him feels less worried about her, but another part of him just gets more worried. "Rick moved out of Manhattan?"

It's then that she just decides to say it. "I don't have anything else left, Dad." She shrugs her shoulders meagerly. "I know that he was going to break up with me before I left, but... I can't let myself just assume that I can't get him back." She looks over to her dad, who's still looking at her with somewhat of a wondering gaze. "Everything else I can live with losing."

Jim nods to himself. "But not Rick?"

Kate shakes her head as a smile appears on her face. "No."


A/N: Now, I have actually lived in Eugene as a kid. Miss it like crazy. Really nice out there.

Last of the 'set-up' chapters. Next one will get into the actual premise. What'd you think? :)