"Hey, sweetie," it's refreshing to hear a friendly, comforting voice. It catches her off guard in a way.
"Hey, Dad," she smiles into the receiver of her phone, padding around the short, scratchy carpet of her motel room with soft elevator jazz playing on the TV from the real estate channel she has on just for the noise.
"Hey, how're you doing?" He asks. Beckett takes a moment to revel in the feeling of someone genuinely worried and curious of what she's been doing and if she's okay.
Beckett paces back and forth a bit absentmindedly at the foot of the bed, dragging the pad of her finger across the table. "I'm fine." She answers, knowing she's giving herself away by the amount of lift she put into her voice.
"Katie," her dad seems to sigh.
"Dad, I'm fine, I promise." She almost chuckles as she turns around to pace back the other way. "I mean, it's been..." she starts to say but trails off, not really knowing how to describe things. And all words she had formed in her mind, along with the fact that she's on the phone, leave her mind when she sees the engagement ring resting right next to the necklace holding her mother's ring.
"Katie, I'm still worried about you." Her dad says in his usual low, worried tone.
"Dad," she sighs, just as she did back in her teens, and takes the ring in her fingers, spinning around and bouncing down onto the foot of the bed. "I'm not running after killers anymore. I'm..." she trails off again, letting her hand fall into her lap as the sparkle of the diamonds catches the light shining through the first floor window. "I'm not really allowed to do that anymore, so... so you can unclench your gut, okay?"
She can hear him breathe a sigh on the other end of the line, "Well, are you at least holding up financially?" He says, knowing he's just covering the bases.
"Dad, I'm fine." She rolls her eyes and rolls the band of the ring around in between her thumb and fore finger. It's about the closest thing to letting it slip onto her finger that she can bare.
"So, you have enough in savings?" He asks, challenging her with his tone.
"I..." she loses herself for a second, giving herself away to him, "I'm not worried about that right now."
"Katie," he sighs again, probably propping his head up with his hand by now.
"I'm here to get Castle back, Dad. I'll worry about everything else later." She defends herself, looking back down to the ring still rolling in between her fingers. God, she wishes she could wear this. "I know he's not making it easy on me, but I'm not worried about anything else right now."
Her dad takes a pause, giving her a chance to gaze down at the stones, seeing how many ways she can get the lights to dance off the edges as she turns it. "Well, are you at least keep yourself busy?"
She chuckles to herself, "Dad, I'm sitting in my motel room at seven in the morning watching the real estate listings on TV."
"Kate, are you sure you don't want me to come out there with you?"
"No, Dad," she says quickly, sitting up on the bed, "I'm fine, really. I don't want you to put your life on hold because of me."
"You're my daughter, Katie." He seems to say with a smile. "There's no such thing as putting my life on hold for you."
She rolls her eyes, a small lump in her throat forming despite herself. "You know what I mean." She says, listening to her dad's soft, satisfied chuckle. "Castle's really shutting me out and I can't get through to him. I don't want to drag you into all of this."
"He'll come around, Katie." He says, probably trying to reassure her. She can't say anything to that, suddenly feeling awash with hopelessness. And after a long pause between the two, she draws in a long, quiet breath, trying her damndest not to shake. 'Believe me, something like that doesn't really go away."
"Dad, I..." she tries, wanting to tell him how much she broke and how much she left in complete shambles, "Dad, I should go before I miss him, okay?"
"Katie," he sighs again.
"I'm fine, Dad. I promise, okay?" She rushes. "I love you."
"I love you too, sweetie." He says as she's pulling her phone from her ear.
She ends the call and lets the phone fall down into the covers with a haphazard bounce. With the same lump knotting her throat together, she looks down to the ring in her fingers again. She could have been engaged to him right now. She could have been planning their wedding with him, picking out a venue, decore, bickering over the guest list and getting into a fight knowing it was just so they could apologize and make love. She could be writing her vows right now. She's spent hours staring at this ring, playing over the scene in her mind of him down on one knee at the swings, telling her that he loves her, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, standing up and kissing her just as passionately as he always did, then slipping this ring on her finger.
Beckett can't help but let an emotionally charged chuckle escape her throat, playing over the scene again as she gazes down at the ring. After a moment, her eyes flick over to her left hand and she splays out her fingers, looking between her ring finger and the ring, going back and forth. Her eyes are already burning. Her hand trembles as her other hand fights temptation. She can't. He was supposed to be the one to put this on her finger. This ring is... was... a symbol of the promise they would be making to each other.
They haven't made that promise yet.
Before the warm metal of the band can touch her ring finger, she pulls it back into her palm and stuffs it into her pocket and stands up, quickly moving over to her luggage to slip on her running shoes. She grabs her wallet and her phone before grabbing her denim jacket that's hanging over the back of one of the chairs and heads for the door. She pulls open the door and starts to draw in a long, refreshing breath of the cool morning air.
It's still another bright, quiet, sunny day. She can't help but admit that this place is growing on her. "Oh, right over there." She hears from the other end of the lot.
Paying it no mind over the rustle of the trees in the wind, she steps across the walkway and up to her rental car parked right in front of her room. "Kate Beckett?" A male voice calls to her from the entrance to the office of the motel.
Beckett turns to see a man in dark slacks, a polo shirt, cardigan, and a dark hat, stepping around a delivery van with a large cardboard envelope in his hand. "Yes?" She cautiously asks.
The courier quickly steps up to her and hands her an electronic clipboard. "Sign here, please?" He says.
"Uh..." she trails off, quickly signing her name haphazardly onto the pad. She hands it back to him and when he simply takes the board and hands her the large, cardboard envelope and gives her a smile and rushes off, she's left shaking her head. "Hmm," she hums to herself as she rips off the tab at the top of the envelope.
The cardboard feels mostly empty but when she tips it up, she feels a letter-sized envelope fall out into her palm. With a pinched brow, she takes the smaller envelope and places the cardboard onto the hood of her rental car. Her heart hardens when she sees a familiar logo in the return address. She feels something igniting inside of her as she takes her finger and tears at the side of the envelope and starts to pull out the single layer of paper.
Hot, angry, heartbreaking tears flood her eyes when she sees the check.
Castle walks out of the tree line, through his yard and starts to roll his neck, quickly catching his breath. He's really not looking forward to this morning. He's expecting the worst. He doesn't know why he should expect anything other than the worst with her.
But when he cautions a glance up to the street, he sees that her car isn't parked where it usually is. It takes him slightly by surprise, but he shakes it away and dips under the cable of Sasha's lead and quickly makes for the entrance to the house. He can see Sasha's tail jump up in the air through the side window and he chuckles, knowing she saw him coming back and is already waiting at the door for him. She's such a great dog. Best find he's ever made. He loses himself for a moment, somewhat anxious to get back to his dog and his daughter, who's home until the afternoon.
When he rounds the front of the house and grabs onto the railing that leads up to the porch, he hears a pair of tires squeal to a stop behind him. Castle turns around in time to see her slamming the gear and throwing the door open. All he can do is breathe out a sigh as she jumps out of the car and slams the door as hard as she can.
Behind him, Sasha barks loudly from the door. Castle turns around to see Sasha jumping onto the windowsill, still barking at the noise. He watches his dog for a moment as she seems to stop barking and her ears perk up.
Castle turns back around to the woman storming her way through his yard and up to him, an envelope clutched tightly in her hand. "Is this what you think of me?" She demands, shaking the envelope at him.
He breathes out another long, heavy sigh. "Here we go," he mutters.
Beckett, angry and crushed, storms up to him and his half-lidded gaze, shaking the envelope in the air. "What, you think you can just buy me off?"
"Beckett," he, against everything telling him to try, attempts.
But she cuts him off. "Just who the hell do you think I am, anyway, Castle?" She demands, leaning forward with a glimmer in her eyes, but a deep, angry furrow in her brow. "What, like I was only ever after your money!" She spits at him. "Is this really how low you think of me?" She says in a tight, angry, emotional voice.
With that, Castle gives up trying and just decides to wait her out with a calm, cool expression, letting her blow it all off.
"What, do you think you can just send me a check for five thousand dollars and that will give me what I wanted and I'll leave you alone, is that it?" She demands, angrily shaking the letter at him again. "Is this how you see me, Castle? As some cheap, gold-digging, tramp!?" She seethes, balling up the envelope and slamming both her hands into his chest.
Castle falls back a small step when she pushes him, taken completely off guard only for a second as she looks over to him with angry, tear-filled eyes.
Beckett is continuing before he can even decide to push back. "I know this might come as a surprise to you, Castle, but I love you," she says to him, poking him in the chest with a sharp finger, "for you. I never cared about your money, I never cared about your fame or your cars. I never cared about any of it!" She says, letting her raw emotions seep into her voice, on the verge of breaking down the more the vents. "I only cared about you. I never wanted any part of this! So take it back!" She sobs, crumpling up the envelope and shoving him in the chest again.
The check falls in a crumpled fall, leaving him to catch it with his forearms. Castle breathes a small sigh and watches her storm back toward her car. "You just love to assume the worst of me, don't you?" He calmly calls back to her.
That stops her. Beckett slows to a stop halfway through his yard and takes a pause before spinning back around to glare at him, hoping he can't see the tracks of her tears.
Castle takes the envelope in one hand and slowly starts toward her. "I suggest to you that you think about the people that love you when going after some very dangerous people and that automatically means I'm just the school's funniest kid... trying to use your life as my own personal jungle gym." He fires back at her.
She can taste sour bile in the back of her throat.
"I get put under the thumb of someone that says he has information on those same people and am told that unless I want you to die in my arms again, I'll keep you away from it... and automatically it means that you can't trust me at all and that I must be working for them." She can tell he's been waiting for his chance to hit her with all of this, even as he's still slowly approaching her with the crumpled envelope in his hand. "You," he points at her, "the person who's traded hundreds of texts and emails with over the years... are shown emails alleging that I not only cheated on you... but killed the mistress to try and cover it up, and automatically I'm not only an adulterer, but I'm a murder also."
"Castle," she tries, but can't find her voice over the clench in her throat.
He talks over her, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. "I call you... and tell you that we need to talk and automatically... it means I'm breaking up with you." He says, right to her face, stopping just a foot away from her, looking her dead in the eye. "You know, Beckett, you have a really funny way of being in love with someone."
She swallows the sob and can't bite back the angry fight rising in her as she grabs the crumpled envelope from him again and waves it at him. "Then what is this, huh?" She demands in a hushed voice.
Castle clenches his jaw and takes the envelope back from her, showing it to her in the air. "This is a royalty check."
Everything drains from her when she hears that for a moment. "Wha..." she attempts, but can't form the words. She shakes her head vigorously and tries again. "Royalties, for what?"
Castle lifts his brow at her obviously. "You're the inspiration of a series of best-selling novels, Kate." He says to her matter-of-factly.
"But..." she tries, still at a loss of words. "I never... we..." she can't make sense of any of it. "Since when did you pay me royalties?" She asks, still not knowing if she can be mad at him or not.
Castle sighs deeply and stares at her for a moment. "Do you really want to know or are you just looking for more ammunition for the next time you yell at me?" He snides.
"Castle..." she says through clenched teeth, trying to contain herself.
With another sigh, he calms himself and softens his gaze to her. "Scott Dunn."
Beckett stops to think to herself for a moment. "The guy who got obsessed with Nikki Heat?"
Castle breathes softly and waves the envelope at her again. "After he bombed your apartment and you came to stay with me... I got to thinking." It's been a long time since she's heard this tone from him. His soft, caring, almost loving tone. If she had it in her, she'd reach up and cup his jaw just before stealing a kiss from him, just because of the tone in his voice alone. "You'd just lost everything and I didn't know how much you had in savings... if any. And I knew you'd never just ask me for a loan. So, after you went upstairs, I got on the phone with Gina and set up a meeting with their accountants to arrange to pay you royalties."
When he takes a pause, Beckett takes the opportunity to gaze into his eyes. They're not as hard and glossy as they were before. She can see something familiar in them.
Castle shakes his head and looks away from her for a moment. "Gina didn't want to go above five percent at first, but I high balled her with nine percent and managed to get you seven and three quarters." He explains casually. "After you left here yesterday, I got on the phone with their accountant in charge of the account and arranged for them to have the account transferred from the bank in New York to the local bank here in town, which will take a few days, but I had them send you a check," he says, showing her the envelope, "so you could get some cash and maybe stop living out of a suitcase and stop driving a rented car." He says, motioning to the rental still parked on the curb. "Since you obviously plan on staying a while."
Beckett feels her throat close, wanting to just hug him. But after a moment, she regains a bit of her senses and shakes her head to herself. "Castle, I don't want any of your money." When all he does is look down to the envelope and starts to pull the check out, she continues. "I never loved you for your money, Castle. You have to know that."
"Not," he starts and shows her the check again, "a single cent... of the money in this account came from my wallet, Beckett." He says pointedly. "And you might have figured that out," he says to her, looking down to the check before showing it to her, his finger pointing to the name on the check itself, "if you had bothered to even read the check... which is in your name."
When Beckett sees her name printed along the left side of the check that she'd completely overlooked, she feels every bit of anger fall away from her. She reaches up with a weak hand and takes the check from him, barely having the strength to hold it up. "Castle, I..."
Castle waits for her to continue, but after too long a moment, he stops waiting. "You're so bound and determined to win me back? Why not start trusting me a little bit." He says to her darkly and turns away from her.
When she sees him turn away from her and start up the stairs, she calls out to him. "Castle!"
He stops on the second stair and turns around with an impatient glare.
She meets his eyes again, but doesn't get the soft, loving feeling she got just moments ago. It's replaced with the same cold, impatient, far away look. There's nothing she can say to solve it now. Not in any short period of time. She knows that. Getting down and groveling won't solve anything, going up to him and fighting with him won't solve anything. He's clearly lost faith in what they had. It was always the thing she loved most about him, even before they started seeing each other. Just how much faith he seemed to have in the people he loved.
As the check dangled from her weak fingers, she breathes a relaxing breath and looks over to him. "I love you."
All he does is look away from her for a moment before jumping up the stairs of his porch and opening his front door, catching his dog with his arms as it jumps on him.
A/N: Stick with it. That's all I can really say.
