Checking her watch just before she fastens it to her wrist, she's right on time. In her bedroom that's adjacent to her father's and right across the hall from the bathroom, she goes to her closet and pulls out her denim jacket and pulls it on over her work shirt, tugging her hair out and moving out the door as she pulls it back into a ponytail with the tie on her wrist.

It was short, but she felt that yesterday was a big step forward for them. Just a quick quip about how she always found it very sexy when she'd see him writing and drag him back into bed. He was always so easy to intice into bed, especially when they first got together and they'd spend their time wasting the day away at home while she was on suspension. She always thought that that was why she took it so hard when he tossed her off that night. Looking back on it now, after finding out he'd had his trust violated by the woman he'd loved in the past before, she regrets taking it as hard as she did and letting him worry.

As she quickly darts through the house, turning out the lights on her way through the kitchen to grab her car keys, she consciously doesn't shake the thought of him in agonizing distress while she was protecting Vaughn, deciding as she moves through the house to live with it, a form of self-punishment.

She pulls her Impala out of the driveway, starts down Argyle street toward town, waves to the elderly woman near the end of the street who's watering her garden as she does every morning, and makes it to the coffee shop at the same time she usually does. Kate parks her car and goes inside, smiling at Beth welcomingly as she starts premeditating her order by punching it into the touchpad when she sees her.

"Morning, Kate," Beth greets her, same as every morning.

Kate smiles and hands Beth a ten, "Morning."

They meet eyes for a moment as Beth takes the bill from her. When Kate looks away to put her wallet back in her pocket, she feels grateful in the moment. They both know that she was with Castle, both know who she is, know what the article says about her and how she demanded a payoff before skipping town, but they haven't pressed her, almost as if pretending it doesn't exist. "So," Beth starts as she hands Kate her change, smiling at another regular who's making their way out of the shop with their coffee, "if you don't mind my asking," she braces herself as she slips another three dollars in the tip jar, it was bound to happen eventually. "You really dated Richard Castle?" She asks, keeping her voice low.

Her heart gets heavy, but she forces a smile and nods. "Yep."

Beth seems to try and keep her excitement to a minimum, but fails when her schoolgirl, gitty smile overtakes her features and her eyes dilate. "Really?" Kate only responds with another forced, affirming smile with the corners of her mouth tucked in and a firm nod, looking back down to the floor. "Was it serious?"

"Yes." She says firmly, confidently, and quickly, almost cutting Beth off with her answer. She let herself doubt him and doubt their relationship once, and she failed that test, not believing in what they had. She's not failing that test again. Kate holds Beth startled gaze, frightened at her sudden reaction. "It was very serious."

Kate eyes Beth for a second before pulling her phone out to try and end the conversation, seeing Beth give herself a nod. "So you two aren't together anymore?" She asks quickly, seeming to want to get the question out as quickly as she can.

Kate clenches her jaw, impatience rising in her, and looks up. "Are you asking for permission or do you honestly want to know?" She asks in a harsh, low voice.

Beth shrinks back in the stool, shaking her head and lifting her hand to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to mettle or anything. I'm..." she says, and Kate quickly remembers how intimidating she can come off as to some people. "I'm really sorry."

Kate gives her a dismissive smile and shakes her head. "To be frank," she says, waving her phone around in front of her, "I'm out here because breaking up with him was a mistake... and I'm trying to fix it."

Beth swoons, placing her hand over her chest and smiling an emotionally laden smile, just before the door to the coffee shop opens. Kate looks over her shoulder to see the familiar blonde stroll through, almost putting in a dance into her step as she comes in. In a pair of dark pink scrubs with her shoulder back hanging from her elbow, she has an almost sated smile shining across her face as she moves her arms and practically dances up to the counter.

Kate's seen her come in from time to time. She seems like a nice, happy-go-lucky sort. No dark past or emotional turmoil haunting her. It's strange for her when she meets people like that. "You're awfully happy for being late to work again, Sierra." Beth says to her as the woman dances away from Barbra after handing her the travel mug.

Kate takes a large step back toward the window to give her space to pay and looks back down to her phone. She watches out of the corner of her eye as the woman does a three-sixty spin around on one foot before bouncing her step over to the register. The woman stops and leans over the counter to Beth, reaching her arm out over the register and pointing her finger at her. "That's because I have a date," she says before poking Beth in the shoulder and giving her a surprised expression of a fully raised brow, widened eyes, and lips puckered out in the shape of an O.

As Sierra seems to let the dance fall and starts to giggle nervously, Beth smiles. "Really? With who?"

"Oh," Sierra starts, sashaying away from the counter, swinging her arms, "only the town celebrity and..." Kate feels her own throat start to choke her, her heart turning into a hot, shriveled raisin, looking up to the woman with a clear heartbreak showing in her expression, "the most gorgeous guy this side of the Willamette, Richard Castle."

Kate can see Beth move her eyes over to her before slipping off the stool and raising her hand to Sierra. "Si..." She starts softly.

"I can't believe it!" Sierra starts excitedly. "I mean, one minute I was making a fool of myself in front of him and the next minute he's asking me out to dinner!" She exclaims.

He asked her? She thinks to herself, the back of her eyes burning. If this what is what he truly felt like when she was with Vaughn, he not only went through hell and back and never said anything to her, but took it on himself.

"Beth, I need your help picking something to wear." She says with a nervousness tightening her breath, almost panting. "Cece's taste is too soccer mom now that she's pregnant and you're my only friend with more clothes than I have." She says quicker than Kate can think. "I mean, is he a leg guy? Do I go strapless? Should I break the fingertips rule if I wear a dress?"

"Sierra!" Beth exclaims, clearly not wanting to make that much of a scene.

"What?" She asks, casually shrugging her shoulders as she realizes she's out of breath, pinching her brow.

Kate, pretending she's not in the room, looks down to her phone but feels all sets of eyes go to her. "Just... stop." Beth says in a low voice, "Okay?"

"Kate?" Barbra calls for her from the other end of the counter. Kate locks her phone, slips it back into her jacket pocket, and steps around Sierra to grab her coffee.

"Thanks," she mutters as she grabs the two cups. As she's making her way out of the shop, she can see Sierra follow her with her eyes, making it no secret that she's watching by turning her head with her. When she gets back to her car, Kate looks back into the coffee shop while turning the key, seeing Beth talk to Sierra with a serious expression on her face.


She feels... broken.

All she can think of is that woman, hanging herself all over him, fawning all over him as much as she can, touching him in the soft, sensual ways that she loves to. It's like there's a poisonous knife sticking in her gut, infecting the rest of her body. As Kate pushes open the door to her Impala, that suddenly feels a lot heavier, she grabs the two cups from the holder and starts to drag her feet across his lawn, where Sasha is waiting for her wagging her wail with excitement at first.

When Kate makes it close enough, she sees Sasha stop wagging her tail and dip her head down, eyeing her as she slowly starts to approach her. Kate smiles heavily as she sets the cups down on the table and sits down. "Hey, girl," she mumbles.

Sasha whimpers and jumps up to put her hind legs up in Kate's lap, sniffing her face letting out a soft whimper before smashing her head into Kate's neck. She giggles heavily as Sasha jumps up into Kate's lap all the way, awkwardly settling her large frame over Kate's body and moving her head onto her shoulder. All she can do is wrap her arms around the German Shepard Border Collie mix. And it only takes a moment for Kate to start to lose the battle with her emotions.

After only a few seconds, Kate buries her face in Sasha's fur, running her fingers along Sasha's ribcage hidden under her fur. After a few minutes, images still violating her subconscious, she catches sight of him in a grey tank top and blue gym pants, stretching as he comes out of the woods.

When Rick looks up and sees Sasha sitting all the way in Kate's lap with her head laid down on her shoulder, with Kate having to wrap her arms around her, he feels a surprised smile form on his face. Kate's probably annoyed but humoring Sasha until he comes back.

"This is new," he says as he approaches them.

But he's caught off guard for a moment when Sasha lifts her head off Kate's shoulder, looking over to him, whimpering, and wagging her wail only once before putting her head back down on Kate's shoulder. "Come on, Sasha," Kate starts, patting the dog on the back and scratching her ears. Sasha complies slowly and jumps off her lap but settles quickly for sitting at Kate's feet with her head resting on her thigh, with Kate softly running her fingers along the top of her head.

Rick looks between the two for a moment before leaning back in the chair and grabbing the cup that sits on his side. "Everything okay?" He asks her, keeping his voice low.

Kate looks over to him, her heart healed in the moment by the soft, caring look in his eyes, and smiles heavily. She only decides on the smile in the moment, not wanting to lie to him. "Rick, I'm..." she starts, shaking her head and looking over to him, her heart tearing itself open to him. "I'm so sorry about what happened with Vaughn."

Rick pinches his brow for a moment, confused as to what brought her thinking about this. "Beckett-"

"I never should have let you worry, Castle. I'm sorry." She pleads. "I never should have let you believe I would ever cheat on you because I never would." She cries, tears forming in her eyes, more out of the pain she's feeling. "I could never betray you like that, and if you think I'm like her and I have no problem cheating on the man I love, I want you to know that I could never do that to you." She says with emotion laden in her every word. She looks over to him, seeing his brow furrowing with confusion. "It's my fault, and I never should have put you through that, I'm sorry." She says, looking down to Sasha, who still has her head resting on Kate's leg.

Rick slowly sets his cup back down and stands up. "What do you mean..." he starts in a low voice, "you're not like her?"

Kate looks up to him with rimmed eyes, knowing what she said. "Why couldn't you just tell me?" She asks in a tight voice.

Rick shifts his weight, clenching his jaw. "Tell you what? I don't know what you're talking about." He tries to shoot her off.

But Kate just stands up, and slowly moves around Sasha to stand in front of him. "Yes, you do." She challenges. "I'm not going to force you to tell me, Rick." She shakes her head in a soft, slow motion. When he doesn't respond, she has hope that he will tell her at some point. "And if you're worried about what I think you're worrying about, then I also want you to think about all the things you've pried out of me over the years." She tells him, looking him in the eye. "And think about if any of it made you stop loving me."

When she locks with his gaze, she smiles heavily and turns away to make for her car. She swallows passed the thick lump in her throat that is her heart and starts across his lawn.

"Kyra had left," he stops when her feet hit the driveway.

She whips back around to see his armor had shed from his expression, and he's looking down to the ground.

He lifts his arm up for a second before looking up to her. "You know me, I'm a writer." He shrugs. "We tend to be hopelessly romantic dreamers, so I thought Kyra was the one. But after she left for London without saying anything, it... was a hard pill to swallow to realize that the downside of being a hopelessly romantic dreamer is that it's usually just a dream... and that's when I met Meredith."

Kate stays silent and turns to start slowly pacing back toward him.

"Now," he starts, "don't get me wrong. I knew exactly who she was when we started seeing each other. It's not like she ensnared me or anything."

Kate breathes out a hard breath, "Hard to believe, honestly... knowing her."

"Well," he shrugs, "Meredith was always a lot smarter than she let on and with me... she always said that she liked me because I could see through the act she puts on. And when we got married and didn't exactly plan on having Alexis... she seemed to realize pretty quickly what letting the act go got her, and she decided that being a mother just wasn't all that important to her."

Kate nods to herself, "Her and Alexis don't exactly seem that close, so..."

Rick shakes his head, "I don't want you to think that she doesn't love Alexis, because she does. The only problem with her is that she just loves herself a lot more. I, on the other hand, loved being a father, and the only thing I loved more than being a father was who I was a father to and..." his eyes harden as he cranes his neck, "Meredith really didn't seem to understand how to cope with that. She just wasn't as invested in Alexis to the same extent I was so... when Alexis was four, I was picking her up from school when I heard over a car radio that Meredith was in Malibu when she was supposed to be in Vancouver. I rushed Alexis into the car and drove home to get on the phone, thinking something was wrong. But when I got home, there was a lawyer waiting at the door." He says, finally looking her in the eye. "And that's when I got served with divorce papers."

Kate breathes a shaky breath, imagining Alexis as a little girl, holding her father's hand as they go down the hall to the loft, the heartbroken look his eyes must've had when he read the papers, having to put it all behind some mask for his little girl.

"I went inside and told Alexis to go change out of her school uniform while I turned on the news and had to watch as the gossip news channels made a joke out of my wife cheating on me with the director of a movie she had wanted the lead part in." He says in a hard voice. "I was played as a bumbling buffoon who should have seen it coming while she was shown as just wanting to have some fun for a change."

With her heart still lodged in her throat, she feels herself want to break again. She'd never thought he could hide this much hurt under just a soft, boyish smirk.

"So," he says with a forced lift in his tone, giving her another shrug, "congratulations, you've now heard a Richard Castle story, never been told and based on true events." He quips at her and turns to head back inside.

"Rick." She says, as he steps away from her, her voice shaking.

Rick stops and turns to face her, his expression armored up and stone-faced again. Kate meets his gaze with emotionally honest eyes before stepping up to him again, stopping in front of him. She looks down to his chest, fighting with herself. If they were together, she'd kiss him again. She'd take his jaw softly in her hands and kiss him sensually, telling him with a soft, loving kiss, that he'll never have to worry about ever going through that with her.

But they're not, and that's not what he would need.

With her hands balling up into fists, she lets out a breath in a shaky sigh, ridding herself of tension as she decides and steps forward, putting herself into his form, wrapping her arms around his chest as tight as she can, and putting her head down on his shoulder. She feels him tense up as she hugs him, her fists balled up on his back. "Kate-"

She responds by squeezing him harder, flattening her hands on his back and pulling herself against him, not letting him go.

Feeling her arms viced around him, tighter than he ever remembers not just her holding him, but tighter than anyone ever holding him. It's not often he's the one offered comfort, support... or love. From Alexis, from his mother, sure. But they're easy to shake off as just of biologically bias opinion. When it's someone like Kate, putting her arms around him and not letting go, it's hard to just not think anything of. So after a moment, he slowly moves his arms around her shoulders, sliding his hands over the denim fabric of her jacket.

She squeezes his midsection another time when she feels his arms around her. This time, she's not thinking about what she's getting out of him, not thinking of what she's feeling from him, not thinking of the woman at the coffee shop or the lies they've told each other, the fights she knows they'll have to have or the arguments they'll have to get through. She's only thinking of him. She can only focus on giving him the comfort, love, and support that he needed back then.

And as Kate lets her eyes drift shut, squeezing him again, she decides in that moment to remember exactly what thinking this feels like.

Not thinking of herself, but only of him.


A/N: Sorry for the delay. DLC in Borderlands just dropped. Merry Christmas, everybody. :]

Also, want to give a huge thank you to those who have followed, reviewed, and supported this story. I know it's slow going, and a lot of you may be getting frustrated, but I have a few more tricks up my sleeve, more scenes to write, and a lot more story to tell. Most reviewed work before this was Reaching, a story I am still the most proud of, with 400 reviews by chapter 15. This just reached over 500 with sixteen chapters, so thank you guys so much! Even those who have said they have stopped reading. I even thank you guys.