A loud buzzing sound startles her awake, her body jolting up in a scared surprise. She heavily lifts her head out from in between the crease in the pillows, reaches out her hand from under her blue quilt, and reaches over to her nightstand to shut off the alarm going off on her phone. When all her hand feels is the flat wooden surface, then the cold metal of the picture frame, she has to focus her crust-ridden eyes through the darkness of her bedroom and sees that her phone isn't sitting on her night stand.

Great, she never remembers to bring the power chord to her phone to the store when she needs it. Her phone's going to die at work.

Having gained some of her senses back, Kate forces herself upright in her bed, the first thing that she notices being that the annoying buzzing from her phone is coming from across the room. Then the next thing she realizes is that she's completely naked. And... very oddly satisfied.

"Oh..." she groans to herself, lifting her hand up to push her messy, slept on hair out of her face, "...god."

The memory of the night before slowly filters back into her mind, the puzzle pieces slowly working their way into a workable picture. All of the sensations of what sex was like with him again, the anger like she's never felt before... she even shoved him. They've never been that angry and hostile toward each other before. And the sex... they've never done anything close to that before. They had never been so rough and unforgiving with each other.

The only thing that snaps her out of the bitter, twisting feeling of guilt and shame is when she finally realizes something and looks over to the other side of the bed.

He's gone.

Kate swallows thickly as her emotions well up inside her like a geyser. They have they done? Why'd she let it go so far? Why didn't she stop him? She knew what it was going to be from the moment that he kissed her again. Why'd she let them make such a mistake?

She sniffs, mostly to test her composure, and climbs out of bed, a chill hitting her naked body as her feet hit the floor, moving tiredly over to the other side of the room next to the dresser, where her jeans from yesterday lay on the floor, turned inside out haphazardly. After a digging awkwardly through the pockets, prying her phone out, and shutting the alarm off, she sets it down to her dresser with a clumsy clatter then puts her hands to her face, trying to muster up enough emotional strength to at least face the day.

She pushes her long hair back, grabs a t-shirt from her dresser from the store and a clean pair of panties, slipping them both on as she makes for the door, not bothering with pants until she's had a shower. She can't see him today. Her dad isn't coming back until later tonight and she can't leave the store unattended. When she opens her bedroom door, feeling like she'd just give anything to be her normal emotionless husk again like she was in DC, she moves straight across the hall to the bathroom.

But when she hears the faint sound of an electrical beep from the kitchen, she stops. Her dad sets the coffee maker to brew every night. He must have left it on.

After going inside and relieving herself, she drags herself out of the bathroom and turns toward the kitchen, wanting to just rid her mouth of the slime that's coating the inside that brushing her teeth didn't seem to take care of. Still in just a pale green loose-fitting t-shirt from the store and a pair of black lace panties, she shuffles over the carpet and turns into the kitchen, her eyes barely half-open.

The sound of a soft clack of coffee cup spooks her, causing her body to jump before she realizes it. "Huh!" She gasps at the sound, her eyes popping open.

When she looks into the kitchen, her eyes immediately find his. In that moment, she doesn't think of what emotions she sees in his expression, whether he looks tired and ragged or groomed and put-together. All she can think in that moment is that he's actually still here. Her lungs let go of a slow breath as her body relaxes, as frozen in place as he is, both of them just staring at one another.

He's in his jeans, his feet bare. The dark burgundy button-up is practically left hanging open at the sides but has the bottom three buttons done, revealing his well toned abs and chest, with the sleeves haphazardly shoved up his forearms. After a moment of finally getting to admire his body in the light, her skin tingling as the sensation sneaks around her emotions, she looks up to his eyes. His brow is arched with what she can only see as guilt, but his lips are pinched into a thin line and his eyes are hardened, like he's trying to pretend he's not feeling anything.

"Hi," she murmurs.

She watches his Adam's apple as he gulps and looks away, his eyes traveling down as he seems to take a moment to stare at her bare legs. "Hey."

A thick silence falls between them that she has no clue how to cut through, and it gets even thicker when the coffee maker he's standing next to hisses and he looks away, turning to grab a mug out of the cupboard next to the oven. "I..." she tries, her voice feeling week as he moves to pour the coffee, "I thought you were gone."

He pulls the carafe out and turns his head, but doesn't look at her, his body freezing. She stares at him until she can see the carafe start to shake in his hand. "I'll leave if you don't want me here." He says in a low tone. She starts to raise, opening her mouth to rebutt him. "I just didn't think you'd be up this early."

"No, Castle, I..." she ends on a sigh, trying to rid her body of the tension. "My dad went out of town for a training seminar, so I have to open up the store this morning." She explains to him, waiting to gauge his reaction.

"I'll just-"

"I don't-"

They speak over each other, preemptively cutting themselves off. When he stops, Kate takes a breath and dives in before he can stop her. "I didn't mean I don't want you here." She gets out as quick as she can. As Rick holds the carafe full of fresh coffee in one hand and an empty mug in the other, he gives her a stiff nod. "I just didn't expect you here, is all."

He waits before giving her a few more stiff nods as he looks down to the counter in front of him, moving to pour the coffee in the mug. "I know that..." he starts in a low, unsteady voice, looking in her direction as he tips the carafe, "last night was-" he stops when the carafe spills scalding coffee onto his hand, making him drop the mug to the counter on its side and the carafe down as quickly as he can. "Ahh!" He seethes in pain with clenched teeth.

Not thinking of anything else, Kate quickly leaps through the kitchen, whipping the hand towel the oven handle, turning on the cold water, and rinsing it as quick as she can. "Here, come here." She says softly, taking the hand carefully in the towel, wiping off the hot coffee from his skin as quick as she can before gently wrapping it in the towel, cradling his hand. As he grasps his forearm, with her still holding the towel over his hand, she looks up to him. "You okay?" She asks with a smile.

His brow knitting angrily, he clenches his jaw. "I'm fine."

She feels a bright smile shine onto her face, seeing his pain slowly melt off his expression. "You know, Castle, you don't need to pull the same stunt Vaughn did. You can just ask, okay?" She asks with a bright smile as she leans cradles his hand. When his expression falls and he gives her an almost comical roll of his eyes, her smile brightens to where her eyes are squinting, and she leans in toward him, placing a hand on his cheek.

She can feel him stiffen under her touch. It isn't until she has to pull her hand off him, her fingers brushing down his unshaven stubble that she's brought back to the situation. And when she is, she's hit with the weight of everything just hanging in the air between them. She watches as his face starts to fall and his expression begins to twitch with emotions.

"Last night was..." she trails off slowly, trying to maybe get the ball rolling. But he's still not responding, just looking down to the towel she's gently holding over his hand. "Wrong..." she says finally, the word feeling hard as it leaves her tongue, "right?"

He gives her another stiff nod, "Yeah," he says in the same low, unsteady voice.

Her heart flutters as she looks down to his wrapped hand. Before she can debate it, she's unwrapping the towel from his hand and gently placing one hand over it.

"I'm sorry," he says once her palm touches his hand. When she hears it, her heart seems to fall. He looks back up to her for a second with as much guilt and shame as she felt when she woke up, his eyes shining with emotion. "Kate, I'm so sorry for taking advantage of you and using you like that. I'm-"

"Rick?" She stops him in a soft, steady voice. She waits until he looks up to her again to continue, her expression lidded and calm. "Don't apologize." She says in a soft demand. His expression doesn't shift from apologetic, so she continues. "I'm a big girl, I knew what I was doing." She can hear him let out a long sigh, seeming to calm himself as her hand rests on top of his. "If you used me last night then I used you right back. I knew I could have stopped what we were doing."

Rick nods, agreeing with her. "So..." he hesitates, "you knew that... last night was-"

"We were fighting, Rick." She answers him softly with a one sided shrug. "We were just doing it with sex, I knew that from the moment you kissed me." Once she says that, the memories from last night begin to flicker through her mind's eye, and she starts to get emotional again. "I just missed you so much." She finally gets out, her voice soiled and her hand wrapping around his tenderly.

He looks away from her, his guilt and shame having drained from his face he grabs the towel himself and takes his hand back. She steps away from him, brushing her hair behind her ear as he turns back to the coffee maker. She turns away to go around the island, not knowing how to continue for either of them. "I'm sorry." He says again in a much firmer tone, more steady. When she turns around to see him looking down at the counter, he's going on. "For standing you up... not calling, I'm sorry."

Kate nods and puts her hands on the back of her waist, not feeling shy in the least about standing in front of him in just a t-shirt that only makes it an inch past her hips and a pair of black lace panties. "I'm sorry too." She says as honestly as she can. He turns over his shoulder, looking her in the eye. "For the way I treated you last night." She admits, knowing how angry and violent she was. "No matter how angry I was, there was no reason to treat you like that."

He gives her a solemn nod, hesitating before he turns back toward the counter. "I really would have called, I just lost track of time." He explains again with guilt returning to his voice.

"I know," she gives him a soft smile, raising her hand. "So," she begins in a tight, nervous tone, shuffling her foot against the linoleum, "I don't have to be at the store for another hour and a half." She preempts, putting her hand back against her the back of her waist. "Why don't we talk now?"

Rick's eyes flick from another part of the kitchen and back over to her a few times. "You really think now's the best time for that?"

She smiles softly, lifting the ball of her foot off the ground and shrugging. "Why not, we already got the angry sex out of the way." He manages to muster up a slight smirk, breathing a sigh that seems to resemble a slight chuckle and turns away from her. "Sit down and I'll get the coffee." She tells him while padding gracefully through the kitchen.

"I can get it." He tries to shake it off.

But she stops him by lifting her hand. "I told you I'd bring you coffee every morning, Castle, sit down." She says with a soft smile. "Besides, you already burnt yourself. I don't want to have to rush you to the hospital over coffee."

He just gives her a nod and accepts it, meagerly moving around the opposite end of the island and over to the table. As Kate pulls out another mug from the cupboard and sets it down next to the one already there and begins to pour two cups of coffee, she hears the legs of one of the dining chairs slide across the floor. After pulling the hazelnut out of the fridge and giving each cup a small shot of the liquid creamer, she snaps the top back on and moves back to the fridge.

"Kate?" His lifting voice stops her. The vulnerability and wondering in his voice hits her like a train. Her heart squeezing, she whips around and sees him leaning forward against the table, his hands clasped together against his mouth, his eyes wide as he stares off into space.

"Yeah?" She says as she fumbles to put the creamer back, almost forgetting to grab their coffee as she moves back to meet him at the table.

It takes until she's slowly sitting down across from him and setting his coffee down in front of him, his eyes blinking hard and looking down to the table. "How do you stay so certain?" He rushes, his voice tight and his words rushed, his arms falling down and folding in front of him.

She brushes her hair behind her ear as she slumps forward in her chair. "Certain of what, Castle?"

It's that you don't believe you're the type of person that can be loved the way you want, Sierra's words keep ringing in his mind. He's supposed to be stronger than this. But at this point, he knows that just throwing her off will be something he can't fool himself with anymore. He's in it now. Saying it's just nothing will just make him feel weaker. "What..." he makes an honest attempt, wanting to get the words right before making a fool of himself, "what is it that makes you so certain... that..." his voice shakes, "that I still have feelings for you."

You're just too scared to admit that there might actually be someone in this world that actually loves you for who you are, her own words ring in her head, with all the anger and venom she said with it. She wished more than anything she could understand why he felt this way, what made him even ask that question of her. But right now, the best thing she can do for both of them is to give him as honest an answer as she can. "I just know that you do." She says, honestly not able to explain it. "I mean," she says with an honest shrug, "I believe in you, I believe in us. And I just know that despite what you tell yourself that... well, that you still love me."

After looking over to her with heavy eyes, he gives her a nod, leaning back in the chair and looking down to his lap. "I guess I can't really say I know what that's like, then."

Her heart falls into her stomach, her brow knitting. "Rick, if you didn't believe in us, why were you going to ask me to marry you?" She says as the doubt comes to her mind.

"That's not what I said." He stops her, giving her his eyes again. "I was just..." he hardens again, "asking how you can be so sure about something like that, that's all." He says, putting his hand on the table and grasping his mug, a silence falling between them as he takes the first sip.

But as she watches him drink his coffee and set his mug back down, her thoughts are swirling, trying to piece things together. "You're asking me how you can be certain that I love you?" She says, her throat closing over her heart. When he doesn't respond, she feels her heart fold, her emotions welling up inside of her. "Rick, I want you to look at me."

He shores his emotions up as much as he can, trying to present himself as strong for her as he flicks his eyes up to meet her, seeing she has a soft look toward him. Seeing her soft eyes, her gentle brow and slight smile, it was pointless.

Looking him in the eye for a long moment to make sure he understands, she says it slowly. "I love you."

He can't help but feel his heart swell inside of his chest, a flutter going into his limps and up his spine.

"And not because of your fame because... honestly, I could do without other women fawning all over you all the time. It's not because of your money." She explains, shaking her head, still giving him a soft smile. "My parents were both lawyers." She shrugs. "I mean, you pegged me when we first met that I came from money, Castle, and you were right. So I don't care about any of that."

His breath softens as it leaves his lungs, a part of him unclenching.

"I love you for your heart, Castle." She tells him, looking him in the eye. "I just want to get us back to the point where you can trust me with it again." She says, her confidence waning. "Or..." she lets fall, "maybe get us there period."

He gives her another nod and looks away, his heart feeling strange. A tight, odd-feeling mixture of acceptance, doubt, humility, and insecurity. Because he knows it's not her that has to do the work now. He knows it's on him now.

"So," she says, ending the topic as she grabs for her mug, "you're still working on the case then?"

He nods and moves to take another drink from his own mug, mirroring her. "Yeah, the police spent all day canvasing the town. Everyone's heard, so naturally, they all want to know what happened. And unlike Manhattan, people around here are surprisingly helpful, so the police are hopeful that something will turn up."

She smiles, heavily this time. "Well," she says and stands up from her chair, snagging at the bottom hem of her shirt, "you know I'd love to help you out, but..." she smiles as he slowly stands up in front of her, "I don't want to risk ruining what chance I got at freedom from the AG's office by butting in, so..." she trails off.

He gives her an understanding look, "I don't suppose you're ever going to tell me what really happened?"

She feels her entire body lock up, the whole ordeal flashing before her. "If I could tell you without getting put in a windowless hole like I should have been, I would."

His eyes fall, but only for a moment before he looks back up to her again. "I understand." He says before looking passed her and moving around her.

But Kate is catching him as he passes her, wrapping her arms around his chest and burying her face in his neck. She feels him stiffen with surprise at first, only making her squeeze him harder. She doesn't think about it that often, about just how lucky she got from the AG's office, about the shot at a life that she probably doesn't deserve after what she did. Looking back, after New York, she'd thought that after losing everything, that her life was over. She didn't even have a single clue as to what she was going to do with her life.

As she hugs him, feeling his arms fall down around her and feeling his breath fan down across her hair, she knows that she didn't lose even close to everything. Because he's here.

"I'm sorry about what happened last night, Castle." She says again into his neck.

She feels him nod against her. "Me too, Kate."

"But Rick," she says seriously, leaning back and moving her arms out from around him, putting her hands in the opening of his shirt, gaining his eyes. "That can't happen again, okay?" His eyes fall again, guilty and shameful. "The next time you kiss me like that, it needs to be for the right reason."

When the look of guilt and shame is slow to leave his expression, Kate flattens her hands against his chest tenderly, slowly moving down the toned expanse of his pecs and his abs.

"And nothing I said about me loving you has changed."

Rick moves his hands up and softly takes her's, brushing his thumbs across her knuckles, holding her hands for a long moment before letting them fall. "I know."


A/N: Almost to quadruple-digit review numbers! Big ups to those who have followed and supported this story. Lemme know what you think. Surprised by this chapter? What you thought it was going to be? T-boned by it, maybe? Saw it coming?