A/N: A more joyful chapter. A payoff for all the angst.


Chp 5: Reconciliation

Shikamaru's long search fruitfully ended as he finally found Sai, sitting in some secluded area of one of the many forests of Konoha. He sat beside a wide lake. Sai sensed a presence before he heard anything as it was an instinct after all. Sai knew that he had been discovered; however, he remained still, staring out onto the expanse of water.

"I was expecting you," Sai announced then without turning around.

Shikamaru's almost silent footsteps halted then when he reached the pale shinobi. He merely stood by his side and faced the direction of the water. "Then why didn't you keep moving?" he asked.

Sai merely shrugged in response.

Although Sai didn't know, Shikamaru had the feeling that he had wanted to be found. He maybe wanted to talk. So Shikamaru steeled himself for a conversation with Sai regarding Ino, which was always a sensitive topic for both of them.

"Are you angry with her?" Shikamaru abruptly asked while deciding to start somewhere.

It was with this question that Sai finally met Shikamaru's eyes. "No. Of course not," he said vehemently with a serious expression, "I'm angry at myself. It's my fault."

Shikamaru shook his head then at Sai's logic, "That's not entirely true. It takes two people," he made it a point to highlight.

Sai was not appeased. "Trust me it is," Sai stated without explaining any further as he knew that Shikamaru didn't want to discuss such a topic with him when it came to Ino. Therefore, Sai didn't elaborate but knew in his head that he had pushed Ino into having sex, which was the consequence of his actions. The substantial burden of guilt weighed down his shoulders and sent them sinking.

Shikamaru sighed heavily before joining Sai on the cold grass, and together they sat in silence for a while.

"Fine say it is your fault," Shikamaru eventually began, "There is not much that you can do about it now."

This statement was evident, so Sai wondered how it helped matters.

Shikamaru answered Sai's silent question. "There is nothing left but to face it," Shikamaru stated simply, and when this received no reaction from Sai, he forcefully confessed. "I'm not ready either."

Sai continued to look out at the expanse of rippling water as a fish had swum by then. "That doesn't help me," Sai stated without malice.

Shikamaru could not find a response. However, there was no need as Sai explained his position. "You had a father. At least you had an example to either aim towards or to avoid," Sai admitted almost brokenly, "I have no benchmark."

At times like this, Shikamaru was starkly reminded of the fact that Sai had not led a life that was like most. Sai had never felt the love of a parent or experienced the joys and heartaches of youth. Instead, he had a dark, lonely past riddled with death and suppressed guilt. It made Shikamaru pause in wonder. Shikamaru experienced a strange urge to comfort Sai then, but he was unsure how to.

"You've changed so much," Shikamaru finally told Sai in honesty. "I believe you can do this."

It was instinctive, but Sai pulled his knees to his chest and held himself. "What if I don't do a good job, though?" he asked with a hint of despair and exhaustion," Or worse, what if life leads this child to be broken like me?"

Shikamaru let out a shaky breath then at such an impactful concern. It was something any future parent would fear, and Shikamaru had asked himself the same dark questions. Yet, he felt a stirring in his chest at the kinship he felt with Sai at this moment. No matter how different they were, they both had the same concerns and they both cherished Ino.

Shikamaru turned to look at Sai then. "You've not broken anymore, and we have each other to shoulder that responsibility," he finally settled for, "Our children are going to form the next Yamanaka, Nara and Akimichi, team." There was a rising emotion deep in Shikamaru's body which left him heated and his eyes slightly dampen as he thought of Asuma. The feeling threatened to bubble over then, and it was something that Shikamaru did not fancy sharing. He seldom cried and never in front of others.

Shikamaru was quick to clear his throat then and climb to his feet. "Ino is worried about you, so you better go back, or Choji and I will have to carry out that threat we made before you got married."

Sai then felt an encouraging push to his shoulder. "Don't make me come back for you," Shikamaru added afterwards.

The corners of Sai's lips curved up slightly at Shikamaru's retreating steps and subsequent quick exist. It seemed that Sai wasn't the only one who liked to hide his emotions. It was unfortunate that Sai couldn't express his thanks to Shikamaru in words. It was something beyond him; therefore, Sai just swallowed down the lump in his throat and turned his attention back to the quiet flow of water. Sai found himself thinking back on the scene Shikamaru had referred to before his and Ino's wedding day. Sai had been relieved that Ino had no family members that would come after him. However, he had made a considerable oversight though. Sai should have known that Ino had surrogate brothers.

~ooOOoo~

Sai remained sitting for an hour after Shikamaru had left so that he could think some more. However, by now, the cold was finally urging him to take shelter, so Sai pulled out a scroll and made quick work of summoning a way home. The air was refreshing as Sai soared through the night on his ink bird. The sense of freedom was much needed, and for how long he travelled through the air, he was unsure. Sai had now taken to surveying the streets as he flew overhead. The roads were dead apart from the odd soul seemingly venturing home after a laborious week which had now been relieved by a drinking session. The street lights were lit and ultimately guided their way. Soon enough, Sai arrived above his neighbourhood. The flight had allowed Sai to clear away part of the whirlwind of thoughts that had been wreaking havoc in his mind. Although Sai's stomach rolled the closer he came to returning home, Sai knew that he had to return, or his distance in this critical moment could drive Ino to do something regretful. It was then that Sai caught sight of a lone figure who was walking with purpose. The individual was not like the rest that Sai had seen that night, and so he zeroed his attention in on the female who had natural long light hair.

Impossible.

Sai wondered if Ino being on his mind had consumed him to the point where he saw her when she wasn't there. Sai couldn't shake the feeling, though; therefore, he dropped down until he was flying low. Hovering over the street now, Sai verified indeed that it was indeed Ino wandering around not far from their house. Immediately Sai descended the ink bird towards her, making sure to manoeuvre into the tight street stealthily. Again, there was a rush of warm protectiveness that surged through this entire being. However, it was different from all the other times' Sai had experienced it. It was more intense for some reason.

"What are you doing?" Sai scolded when he landed next to an astounded Ino.

She was trying to catch her breath from her exertion. Ino's face showed momentary relief. "I was looking for you."

Without a second thought, Sai lifted Ino until she was astride the bird. It was more of a struggle compared to the days when he would lift Ino alone. Sai then urged his bird back into the air.

"Honestly, what are you thinking?" Sai complained. "In your condition, you decide to walk around Konoha in the middle of the night. Do you have any common sense?"

Although his words held an edge and he was still scolding her, it felt surprisingly lovely to Ino. She preferred this to his fear.

"I do have common sense," Ino replied coolly, "I was worried about you."

When her words graced Sai's ears, he felt a jolt in his chest. She had walked to the detriment of herself just because she was worried about him. Before her, Sai had never been able to fathom how such feelings could exist where your instinct of self-preservation would play second fiddle.

Sai composed himself before he spoke. "Nevertheless, it was illogical and unnecessary."

Ino heard the quiver in his tone, and she smiled gently. "True", she placated.

Their home soon came into view, and Sai gently brought down his ink bird into the nearby grass. He jumped off, and his hands went straight for Ino's waist so that he could quickly lift her off before the bird dissolved. Then, with her feet back firmly on the ground, Sai wordlessly steered her inside.

"You need to rest," Sai told her as he guided her through the house, turning all the lights as he went. Ino merely nodded in acquiesce as Sai practically pushed her towards their room. Only when Sai had settled Ino onto their bed did he finally feel the knot in his stomach loosen. She was safe and warm, and that is all that mattered just now.

Sensing that they were about to settle into the dreaded conversation, Ino moved back to lean against the headboard to get comfortable. She brought a hand over her stomach and tried to breathe past the sensation of being weighed down. Ino looked up then to see that Sai was still standing in the middle of the room.

"Are you okay?" she asked then while intently watching him.

Sai was brought out of his momentary ravine, and he wondered if he would ever get used to the depth of Ino's caring nature. Why was she even asking him this? Why did she not worry about herself for once?

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," Sai blurted out in confession, "You told me to stop, but I didn't."

Ino paused for a moment to register the implications of his words before hurriedly shaking her head as she remembered. "No, it's okay, Sai," She was quick to say, "I told you then that I was fine, and I don't need to remind you that I also decided to continue on that night."

When Sai didn't seem any more at ease, Ino decided to spell it out for him.

"I don't regret our time there," Ino explained, "I'm happy that this has happened."

She then patted the space beside her so Sai took the cue to join her on the bed though he sat with his back to her. Ino shuffled towards Sai to lean against his back before bringing her chin to rest against his shoulder.

"It took both of us to make this happen," Ino informed, "I've come around to the idea now, and I do want this."

Even though Sai felt Ino's eyes on the side of his face and her rounded stomach against his back, still, he continued to look straight ahead. It was a long while before there was a response.

"I'm glad for you…but I'm still scared," Sai finally admitted.

"Me too," Ino reassured in a gentle whisper.

Sai toyed with his fingers. "I don't know how to feel, and I still haven't managed to come to terms with it," he continued lowly.

His pure vulnerability melted Ino as she hadn't seen it for some time. "I understand. It's going to take time," She soothed.

Sai sighed then and decided to explain his unresolved concerns, which he had not shared with Shikamaru. "It's taken me so long to do right by you, and even now, I still make mistakes by upsetting you," Sai confessed while racking his fingers through his hair. "How am I going to start from the beginning and create a new, functioning relationship with this baby?"

Ino was quick to bring her arms around Sai. She hugged him from behind, which was made difficult by her stomach, but she did her best. "First all, I get to decide how I feel about your treatment of me, and I believe you've done fine," she reassured, "Secondly, the bond you have with a child is instinctive when you're a parent. You won't have to create it. It will already be there."

There was a loosing of tension in Sai's back as he was slightly appeased. "Are you sure it will come naturally to me?" he asked in pure hope.

Ino smiled softly into his back. "Yes. I believe it will, and you're not alone. We'll be in it together."

Sai expelled a heavy breath before finally losing the tension from his shoulders. He eventually turned around then, and Ino obliged by moving back when she realised that Sai wanted to face her.

Ino smiled then. "Also, did you know that three is a perfect number?" she managed to tease him for the first time in a while.

It was with this that Sai was reminded of Shikamaru's earlier sentiments. A small smile touched his lips. "Yes. I've already been told tonight."

Ino caught the implied statement and realised then that Shikamaru must have got to Sai before she had. So Ino made a mental note to thank him.

She nodded fervently before stating in soft laughter. "Yes. You, me and this little one will complete our own Yamakaha team."

Sai experienced that tickling warmth than that always came to him when he felt included. Sai was beginning to realise that no one could question his existence anymore, for he was intertwined in Ino's life and soon another's. It never failed to amaze Sai how well Ino knew him. He had indeed loved being part of a team. This had been true since joining team 7, as his members had reawakened his emotions. They had given him the first push in his journey, which had led him to his current reality. However, hearing the sentiment from Ino's lips, ignited an altogether different response than when Shikamaru had told him. Sai could not check the impulse, and without warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ino's. Her heart leapt in response as the former kunoichi had still not got used to Sai's surprise attacks. Even after all this time, he was rarely the one to initiate. Sai cupped Ino's face then as he moved his lips hard against hers. Why does she always know the right things to say? Ino surrendered herself to the intensity of Sai's actions. She felt a hand around her back before she realised that she was being lowered down to the bed. Behind closed eyes, Ino knew that Sai was looming over her. She merely brought her arms around his shoulders to bring Sai closer. After all, Ino had a feeling that this would only end one way. For Sai, it was her warm acceptance of his attention and a return to some semblance of normalcy that fuelled his actions.

"Lucky, I'm already pregnant," Ino joked breathily then as Sai finally came up for air. Ino's eyes fluttered open at the loss of contact only to see Sai above her. His fringe had fallen over his eyes, which had darkened in that irresistible way that told Ino he was losing himself to his emotions.

At this moment, looking down at Ino, Sai was sure of one thing. He knew that he loved this woman. By now, Sai was breathing through his desire and trying to reign in his sudden impulsivity. "Is it still okay when you're…I mean if you want t-" Sai began to ask; however, Ino just answered him with a compelling kiss as she opened herself up to him.

Once their lips parted and before Sai continued, he suddenly buried his face into the crook of Ino's neck. He stayed there and took a long-drawn breath. "Please don't ever shut me out again," he murmured abruptly before admitting, "You took away your light, and It was like returning to the solitary darkness. It was terrifying going back there."

It was with this admission that tears formed in Ino's eyes, and she was quick to pull Sai's face away from her neck and cradled it in her hands. Ino did her best to kiss away the pain she had inadvertently inflicted by peppering his face with kisses. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me," Ino made sure to vocalise, "It will never happen again."

Although being soothed by her attention, Sai returned his face into the crook of Ino's neck as he was currently unable to look at her directly. Ino realising that Sai needed some time, let him stay where he was, and she ensured that her arms came up to hug him tight to her. After some time, with only the sound of their soft breaths for company, Ino felt something damp against her skin. She then heard Sai's breathing turn raspy, and it was then that Ino understood something unsettling. He was quietly crying. The knowledge was enough for Ino to break down then and there.

Sai's breathing soon became haggard. "I thought your distance meant that you were finally sick of me," Sai eventually explained his anguish through a mumble. His voice was thick with tears, "I thought that you wanted someone normal because it would no doubt be easier for you…This my constant fear."

Ino held Sai so tight as he worked to regain his composure. Ino combed her fingers through his dark hair to calm him while wiping away her tears with her free hand. "Never," she finally managed to desperately admit, "I couldn't because I love only you."

It was with this confession that Sai felt Ino grow stiff beneath him. He, too, froze.

Love.

Sai was slow to pull away from the comfort of Ino's skin. He stared at her then, but It was Ino's turn to avoid eye contact. Sai's eyes were still hot with his previous tears, but he focused his attention on Ino. His hands came to either side of her head, and Ino's blond hair twined between his fingers. Finally, Sai forced her to meet his eyes. Ino's irises were round and panicked, but Sai also saw a hopeful honesty.

"You love me?" he breathed down to her.

With this, Ino's eyes began leaking once more as she stared into his dark pools. "Isn't it obvious?"

It was, now that Sai remembered all the times that Ino had been there for him. "I thought your love was just born out of a sense of obligation after saving me," he explained, thinking back to the incident in the land of the sun.

Ino merely shook her head while trying to stem her tears. "No. I think I first fell for you, then in fact, because I saw the real you. Not the emotionless person on the surface that the world saw but this sensitive boy."

Unknowingly Ino's words had appeased years of insecurity and his troubled soul. An altogether fiery sensation now gripped Sai. A deep heat caused Sai's resulting kisses to be delivered in a biting and forceful fashion. He was seemingly trying to communicate the strength of his emotion. "I love you too," he fervently admitted.

Ino was helplessly overwhelmed by his onslaught and tried to breathe past his demanding lips and an unexpected confession. With the soothing of their emotional anguish, the couple's proximity soon allowed for the desire to make a swift return. Ino had been craving intimacy for some months as her raging hormones had made her particularly ache with need.

"Don't be afraid to be as thorough as you were that night," Ino quietly requested as her tears had all but dried away, and she was now gazing up at him with excitement while her chest rose and fell quickly.

Sai could not help but be fuelled by the sultry glazed look her in the eyes or the way her lips parted in a manner that just begged him to continue kissing her, and so he did. Ino did want him, and so, it was to be that the couple rather clumsily and hastily undressed each other. Ino was quick to turn to her side, and Sai eagerly joined her from behind. He took charge, first making sure to ready Ino for what she truly wanted, which didn't take long and soon enough, Sai entered Ino in one albeit laboured motion. Ino responded with a contented yet strained exhale as she worked to adjust to his presence, for it had been some time since their last coupling. Meanwhile, Sai was revelling, for he had forgone protection this time as there was no need, so for the first time, he was experiencing what it felt like to have his naked flesh against Ino's internal warmth. There were no barriers between their beings, and this was both incredibly arousing to Sai but, on a deeper level, also brought tears to his eyes which he worked to blink away quickly. Sai had always been fascinated by the sheer physicality of sex, but once he had experienced such a thing, he had become addicted to it. It was healing for him to be coupled with another person so intimately, so he remained still within Ino now, merely basking in every sensation that his unbarriered skin experienced. However, Ino grew impatient therefore desperately began moving against him. Taking note of her need, Sai took a firm hold and began moving expertly within his pregnant wife, who ended up sobbing out her thanks. Sai touched Ino everywhere, both internally and externally, that he knew she liked and soon their bodies were fervently and rhythmically moving as one, and the skin of Sai's chest against Ino's back was damp with sweat and hot to the touch. Their coupling this time was different. Perhaps because before, Sai and Ino always subconsciously held back to varying degrees out of fear of the consequences of intimacy; however, Ino was already pregnant, so it gave the couple the permission they needed to let go entirely- without guilt and concern. Sai, therefore, was not surprised when he and Ino descended into a maddening state of wild possession. Sai was unrestrained in his movements and was unknowingly finding himself being rougher with Ino than usual, almost punishing her with pleasure for the distance that she had inadvertently put between them. Ino was unaware and merely welcomed him with enthusiasm. She reacted both vocally and with her body, and It got to Sai. He was left with no doubt that he satisfied her as he managed to drive her to peak quickly. It also seemed that Ino was particularly sensitive, though, which worked to benefit them both. In Ino's current state, she seemed insatiable, and to Sai's surprise, he was learning that for the first time, her need outstripped his own. Sai had managed to regain his strength in the breaks between rounds, but Ino was soon desperately urging Sai for a third time in the resulting early hours of the morning. It became apparent to Sai that Ino did not want the connection between them ever to end. Perhaps she was desperate to cure the months of loneliness and to quell her future fears of such a thing repeating.

Sai, at some point along the way, discovered that Ino's stomach made for a good anchor: Therefore, he held on to it as he deeply pressed into her, losing track of the times he had done so during the night. Sai was being the dutiful husband, though and thus had no complaints as he continued to soldier on as he worked to meet both their needs. With hands fisted into bedsheets, eventually, Ino threw her head back against his shoulder as she arched forcefully against Sai for the final time with a loud, broken cry. At the same time, Sai held himself deep within her and let go with an exhilarated and shaky breath.

The resulting air after their release was thick with heavy gasps as the couple tried to catch their breaths through the shuddering. Sai and Ino were utterly spent as they drifted down from their high. The burning in Sai's muscles from sheer over-excursion was fresh; therefore, he could not move. Ino appeared to be in a similar position. Consequently, the couple remained connected even when they had fully recovered. Sai had settled his face into the crook of Ino's neck once more while curling around her back. They were both hot and sticky, but neither minded. Sai's arms now held Ino's waist loosely as his body, on its own accord, subtly continued to softly rock against hers, as if he was unable to end the now inert possession. He was finding such pure comfort within her that he didn't want to leave. Ino guessed as much by his actions and was genuinely flattered that he craved her in such a way, therefore, worked to rock in rhythm with him. The pair seemed to be physically communicating in a language that didn't need words. It was an automatic method of confirming that they were both here for each other at this moment. Alive, happy and well. Ino was quick to wrap her arms around Sai's affirmation of his actions; therefore, they continued rocking until they drifted off.


To be continued