Learning to Live Again
Chapter 10
Mike had discovered one thing. He liked having an adult to talk to and he loved having a kid in the house. Bobby was sweet and despite his issues, was a lot of fun. And Libby was just easy to talk to. Mike was shocked that he actually was beginning to like her. He could see them even becoming friends.
Libby was not his type but maybe Mike had been wrong in even having a type. Certain aspects of her personality reminded him of Christine and Andrea, in that she was sweet. She didn't fall for Mike's sarcasm and was smarter than Mike had initially given her credit for.
It had felt weird taking his first wedding band off and putting the one from Libby on; especially since it didn't have the same meaning behind it as the one from his marriage to Christine. But he left it on all the time. He wanted to feel some connection to Libby.
He also really wanted to get to know her better, because he was intrigued by her. She had no problem with the pictures of Christine and the kids sitting around and Mike had no problem telling her little memories because she was extremely comforting.
Libby enjoyed cooking and it was not one of Mike's favorite things to do. Mike hadn't eaten so well in years and Bobby was thrilled no matter what. One night, Libby put a baked ziti on the table. Mike had made a salad and they all sat down at the table. The next day, they had an appointment with his attorney.
"Bobby, tomorrow, Libby and I have to meet with a lawyer and Katherine. Tamara is going to come out with Andy and Abby for you to play with while we talk. She'll look out for the three of you." Mike explained as he put a good-sized portion of ziti on Bobby's plate, along with some salad. Libby put a piece of French Bread on the plate and gave Bobby a smile.
"That'll be fun! I like playing with Andy. I don't know that much about babies, though." Bobby said. He took a bite of his food while Mike and Libby filled their own plates.
"Once she gets bigger, you'll find more things to do with her. She's awfully little yet." Libby explained.
"She's cute though. Are you and Mike going to have one like her?" Bobby asked. Mike and Libby exchanged a look. They had kept Bobby innocent, not telling him that their marriage was a sham.
"That's in God's hands." Mike answered. It was a generic answer and one that Bobby would believe.
"Oh. I think when I saw my bedtime prayers tonight, I'll pray that you do. Abby is pretty sweet." Bobby said. Mike and Libby exchanged another look but neither knew what to do. If nothing, Bobby's innocence and belief in their marriage was sweet.
"If that's what you want to do, it'll be alright but understand, sometimes; God doesn't answer our prayers no matter how badly we want it." Mike said. Libby snuck a look at him, because there was a hint of sadness in his voice. Had he prayed for his family's return?
"That's very true, Bobby; but it is still okay to pray that way. There is nothing wrong with hope." Libby said.
"Until hope becomes a delusion." Mike remarked. Bobby was looking between them in total confusion.
"Bobby, what Mike means is that sometimes we can want something so bad that its all we hope for and all we pray for, but it is not meant to be for us. Once we realize that, it can break our hearts. We just have to make the most of what we are given." Libby explained, trying to diffuse the situation and the little boy's confusion.
"Yeah, that." Mike added. Libby gave him another look, hoping Bobby would drop it. She suspected that Mike's attitude had more to do with his lost family and less to do with what Bobby said. Was the prospect of a baby that heartbreaking to him?
They ate dinner in relative silence and after, Mike and Bobby did the clean-up, as had become their little arrangement. They would take early showers and cuddle on the couch, watching some movie and eating ice cream and popcorn.
Libby loved how Mike's arm would sling over the back of the couch and touch her back. Bobby was sitting between them, with the popcorn bowl on his lap. There was something strangely intimate about it and Libby loved it. She also suspected Mike enjoyed it, because he always popped the popcorn or dished up the ice cream.
Bobby would always fall asleep halfway through the movie, and Mike would carry him to bed. Together they would tuck him in, and then clean up the living room. And then they would go to their separate rooms to go to sleep. Except that night, Mike stopped short of his bedroom door.
"Do you want kids?" Mike asked. Libby was surprised by the question.
"I do." Libby answered.
"Other than Bobby?" Mike asked.
"Yes, other than Bobby. What about you?" Libby asked and then realized that he may not want kids. He'd already had his heart broken when he lost his three kids.
"I don't know. I would be too terrified to lose it." Mike admitted.
"That's understandable. Not…not that I really understand." Libby remarked.
"No, you don't. Very few people do." Mike said.
"Nowadays, probably more than you think. Did Bobby's question bother you?" Libby asked.
"A little, but I would never tell him that." Mike admitted. He was eyeing Bobby's bedroom door nervously and Libby reached out and touched his hand.
"Mike; no, I don't understand what you've been through and I know you miss your kids. I can't fix this for you, but I can help you with Bobby. Please stop seeing me as the enemy. See me as an ally. I didn't marry you to get you into my bed and have babies. I just want us to get along and make this believable so Bobby can be adopted and raised in a normal home. Maybe, somewhere along that process, you will find a way to heal yourself a bit. I know you will never completely heal, but you can find some sort of normal and I think that little boy is going to help you and I am along for the ride." Libby said as she grasped Mike's hand. He hadn't pulled away and Libby was certain she saw tears gathering in his eyes.
"Thanks. I think I'll go to bed. Good night." Mike answered before walking into his own bedroom and shut the door behind him.
Libby went into her own bedroom and got into bed. The problem was, she wouldn't so much mind having babies with Mike. She was becoming increasingly attracted to him.
Inside Mike's bedroom, he wiped the tears away as he looked at his favorite picture of Christine and the kids. While his marriage to Christine had been flawed, he loved her, and he adored his kids. He had loved being a dad and it was a role he had missed. Having Bobby helped, but he had to admit, having a biological child was something he wanted too.
Was Libby the right person? He liked her and he enjoyed having her around, but having a child was a commitment, more than adopting Bobby. It would mean having her in his life forever, but wouldn't adopting Bobby mean the same thing? Could he get over his fears of losing them?
