Learning to Live Again

Chapter 12

Libby had no regrets. She thought she might after spending the night with Mike. It had been spectacular, and Mike didn't seem to have any regrets. If he did, he didn't voice them. Libby could only hope that it hadn't been part of his game. He seemed sincere, but he did have a cruel side to him.

Thankfully, Bobby had slept through the night. It was a first, but it gave Mike and Libby time to discover each other. Libby needed to get up and get ready for work, but instead; she glanced over the scars that dotted Mike's torso. He was sound asleep and looked so peaceful.

Libby finally got up just a bit before Bobby had to be woke up. She showered quickly and then woke Bobby up. He was used to Mike being awake and was not thrilled with the cold cereal that Libby gave him. Mike was still sound asleep and finally, just before they had to leave; Libby woke him up.

"Mike; it's seven-thirty. I have Bobby up and ready for school, but I didn't want to leave without you knowing. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and started it." Libby said as she rubbed his muscular arm. Mike was groaning and grumbling.

"Wanted to get up and make you breakfast…" Mike said.

"Its okay. Just go back to sleep. We're going to school." Libby said. She bent back down and kissed Mike's temple.

"Have a good day, Christine. I love you." Mike said as he snuggled back up and pulled the sheet nearly over his face, as was his habit. It allowed Libby to hide her look of shame. Mike hadn't had sex with her, he had had sex with a woman that he thought was his dead wife. It didn't make sense because Libby looked nothing like the much more attractive woman, but she supposed it didn't matter after so many years. She had scratched Mike's itch. She backed out of the room without answering Mike and got herself and Bobby out of there as quickly as possible. She needed to get to work anyways, but she was far too embarrassed to stick around.

Libby could not concentrate all throughout the school day and her students took wild advantage of her being distracted. She normally kept a tight reign on her class. She finally just put a movie in that afternoon, telling them they would be doing a movie report on it the next day. She was mad, upset, ashamed and had lost all confidence in her relationship with Mike. And to add to it all, he hadn't used any protection and Libby hadn't been taking any birth control since she had been jilted two years before. She had no idea what she would do if she had gotten pregnant the night before.

Of course, she wanted a baby. She wanted a houseful of them. But she wanted them with a man who wasn't stuck in the past. She understood him grieving for the kids and wife he lost, but aside for when he was with Bobby, he was unable to cope.

Once school was out for the day, she made the decision to not go home immediately; instead texting Mike that she had to stop by Joey and Tamara's to get something. She didn't even want to call him, and she knew Tamara would have the perfect advice. As soon as she walked in, she gestured at Bobby to play with her niece and nephew on the living room floor.

"You look like you either need a stiff drink or a cup of coffee? Will coffee suffice?" Tamara asked as she poured a cup for Libby.

"Its fine." Libby answered.

"What's wrong?" Tamara asked. Libby looked to make sure that Bobby wasn't listening before she started.

"I slept with Mike." Libby said.

"That's not so bad. You are married, after all. How was it?" Tamara pressed.

"It was great until this morning when I woke him up to tell him that we were going to school. He was half-asleep and said, 'Have a good day, Christine. I love you.'" Libby said.

"That is still not that bad. He was half-asleep." Tamara replied.

"Except, he thought I was his dead wife." Libby said.

"Did he say her name in the throes of it?" Tamara asked.

"No." Libby answered.

"I can't say that I have ever had to compete with a dead wife or even an ex-girlfriend, where Joey is concerned, but Mike was half-asleep. He probably doesn't even remember saying it." Tamara said.

"I shouldn't have ever slept with him." Libby said.

"Why not? Your human and you are married. You did nothing wrong, and neither did he." Tamara questioned.

"Except, he doesn't love me, and this is not a permanent thing." Libby said.

"Says who? Libby, your brother and I married so he had someone to take care of you while he was in the military. We had known each other for years, were friends even, but love came later. We had met in the group home and we both aged out at the same time. I had nowhere to go, and he had nowhere for you. We made a go of it." Tamara said.

"But…you always seemed to be crazy about one another." Libby said.

"It was an act for your benefit. Trust me, we are now, but back then we didn't want you to know that we were unhappy so that you would have a home. It was one of the few areas where Joey and I could agree." Tamara explained.

"So, what changed?" Libby asked.

"It was a slow process. I can't say that I woke up one morning, madly in love with Joey. I just realized one day; that I preferred being with him to anything else. I got pregnant with Andy. That sped things up. And before you ask, it was a night where we had both been drinking too much. A month later, I was telling him I was pregnant. Had it not been for that, I think we would have divorced. You were settling. Nothing holding us together. We agreed that we had to at least co-parent Andy, even if we didn't stay together. He was born. We fell in love with him, and somehow, fell in love with each other. Now, we both hate that we wasted so much time. It's a point of shame that we didn't love each other for so long. Sure, we were friends and wouldn't have hurt the other, but we understood each other's pasts. I plan on making the most of what we have now, and so does he." Tamara explained.

"I don't think that will happen for Mike and me. And if I did get pregnant, I'm not certain that he will be able to cope with being a dad again. The deaths of his kids have completely wrecked him." Libby said.

"Is there any chance of a pregnancy?" Tamara asked.

"I doubt it. We didn't use anything, and I haven't been on birth control for a while, but the doctors always said I would have to go through IVF and all that." Libby answered.

"They might be wrong, but if it was only a one-time thing, the chances aren't huge." Tamara said.

"It was a one-night thing, but definitely not a one-time thing." Libby said and then hid behind her coffee cup, while Tamara choked on her coffee.

"Do tell? Bear in mind, Abby hasn't learned the fine art of sleeping through the night, and Joey has been called out every night this week. I am going to live vicariously through you." Tamara asked.

"It was…amazing. Best that I've ever had. Matt and I never…and Oliver overcompensated. Mike was amazing, but it was wrong." Libby said.

"As I said before, you are married. There are worse things then having sex with a person you don't love. Just how many times? So, I can be jealous?" Tamara asked.

"You're terrible. Three times. What do I do if he wants a repeat performance?" Libby retorted.

"I think you need to tell him that he called you by Christine's name. He obviously loved her a lot, but I don't think he would want to hurt you. I don't think he would be so cruel. Now, my question; knowing how you feel about your body; did he have an adverse reaction to you? Obviously not so much, since he and you did that three times. Was alcohol involved?" Tamara continued.

"No. We were sober. And no, he didn't seem to mind my weight at all. In fact, I think he actually liked it." Libby admitted.

"Some guys like girls with curves." Tamara joked.

"His wife probably weighed a buck twenty. I am not his type, at all." Libby answered.

"Maybe he doesn't have a type, or maybe he is discovering your type. He is not Oliver and you have to get out of that mindset." Tamara said.

"I still don't know what to do if he wants to do it again?" Libby said.

"We go Saturday and get you a few things that he might like. Libby, there are worse things. Have a little bit of fun but be honest. Tell him. I think he was only half-asleep. Now, you need to go home and stop stressing about this. Saturday is a date. I'm making Joey take a day off with the kids." Tamara said.

"Wouldn't you rather stay home with your husband and kids?" Libby asked.

"I need some girl time and the kids need some dad time. He's been a bit busy and they are missing him. Besides, I am fixing to guilt you and Mike into babysitting once things settle. Even if only for a couple hours." Tamara said.

"Just remember, Joey hates sushi." Libby said as she set her coffee cup down in the sink.

"No sushi. I wanted to do with Joey what you did with Mike last night. So, I have ulterior motives for our girl day. Sunday afternoon good?" Tamara asked.

"I'll ask Mike, but I'm sure it will be." Libby said. She reached around and gave Tamara a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Now, go home; and be honest. Tell Mike what happened. I think, beneath all the bravado and sarcasm, he is a good guy. He is not Oliver. He entered into this for a defenseless little boy. That is not something Oliver would have done." Tamara said.

"No, it isn't." Libby agreed before gesturing for Bobby.

"Let me know about Sunday." Tamara said as Libby kissed her niece and nephew. Bobby had his jacket on and followed Libby out. Libby had no idea how she would face Mike, but she had to.