A/N: I really don't like putting this. I wish I could just reply to every comment from the last update but I figured it doesn't give me that option. You may hate the characters now and the idea of how and where things are going but I still wish you'd trust me on this or if you really think this is a really bad story and decided to not read it anymore, I won't blame you and I won't argue. LOL. To each his own and I respect your opinion. And to answer some comments about Carina, although she really is pretty and I loved her addition on the show, I agree and I don't think Carina's hotter than Callie BUT the Callie in my story does. See the difference there? And about Penny, I actually never hated her in the show. I always thought people were unfair to her and she was judged wrong. Just sharing, LOL. Anyway, This is a CALZONA fan fic I'm leaving it there.
PS. This was supposed to be a longer chapter but I cut it into 2 parts. Next chapter will be uploaded maybe next week. Thanks for all the comments. Keep them coming! Here's Chapter 4 ️
Arizona insisted to drop Callie off of at Meredith's after dinner instead of the latina taking a cab, but seeing how Sofia's passed out after a long day, Callie just suggested they go straight at Arizona's and have Meredith pick her up there since it's near the hospital and Mer's shift will be over soon.
Neither was talking on their drive back at Arizona's. The blonde decided to just stay quiet and calm herself before she starts saying things that would only lead to a fight with Callie.
She was disappointed and hurt, Callie lying is already one thing but having Sofia keep secrets? It was something that's making her really furious than she should have.
She tries her hardest to avoid any eye contact with Callie but her eyes instantly fell at Callie's hand, the then white gauze is now almost soaked in blood.
"Callie! Callie your hand's bleeding." She said breaking the silence, her being pissed almost gone in the air, suddenly the doctor in her kicked in.
"I'm okay. Just keep driving Arizona. I'll fix it at Meredith's." She wanted Arizona to focus on the road. She saw how the blonde took a double look, her jaw clenched and continued their quiet ride home.
Seeing how Arizona's having trouble walking now with her worsening limp, Callie insisted to carry Sofia up to her room. Arizona didn't argue and just directed the latina to where Sofia's room is. She needed time alone anyway before striking another conversation with Callie.
The moment Sofia hit the bed, the little brunette shifted and held her mother's arm tightly. She slowly opened her eyes.
"Will I see you tomorrow, Mama?" Her sweet voice filled the quiet room.
"I'll see, Mija. Mama has conference for three days, I'll try to visit dinner time okay? If I couldn't make it, I promise to call." The little brunette nodded at her mama.
"I'm happy to have dinner with you and Mommy tonight. Thank you for saying yes."
"Oh, Sofia." She climbed the bed to hug her daughter.
"Mama, why don't you tell Mommy what Penny did? Lying is bad right?" Sometimes she thinks this kid is older than her age.
"Sofia what did I tell you about Penny?"
"That she's a good person." Sofia whispered. Last thing Callie needs is a daughter filled with so much hatred in her heart.
"She is Sof. And yes, lying is bad so don't do it okay? It will not only make Mama sad but Mommy will be really furious too and we both don't want that, do we?" Her daughter quickly shook her head.
"Mommy's quiet. You made her mad." Sofia told her Mama.
"I think I did, can you go back to sleep now so I can make Mommy un-mad?" She sweetly asked her daughter. Sofia giggled and nodded.
"Mommy said my kiss attacks makes her feel better every time she's upset. Maybe you should give her that." Sofia shared.
"Kiss attacks? I love those too but I don't think she'll like the ones coming from me, babe." Callie chuckled. Sofia just shrugged her shoulders and tried to close her eyes.
"Are you staying at Auntie Mer's?" Her daughter said after a few seconds of trying, still with no plans of sleeping.
Callie sighed and faced her daughter, her hand resting on her head to get a better view of Sofia while the finger on her injured hand soothingly ran over her daughter's nose and forehead, knowing that's the only way to put Sofia to sleep.
"I am." Callie answered calmly.
"Can you give her a hug for me?" She whispered.
"Sure Sof. That's sweet of you. Tell me what's this hug for?" Callie asked curious of the little brunette's request.
"I was with Zola earlier and she told me that Auntie Mer cries at night every time she misses Uncle Derek."
"Oh... okay... I will give your Auntie a hug for sure." She said rubbing her daughter's hair.
"Do you cry when you miss Daddy, Mama?" Sofia added. Callie took a deep breath.
"I do, Sofia. And it's normal to cry when you miss someone so much and you can't be with them. Your Daddy is my best friend and I would do everything, anything just to spend one more day with him so I could hug him and tell him how amazing and beautiful his little princess is." She smiled at the now sleepy Sofia.
"I miss Daddy too. But I don't remember him." It made Callie's heart rip into tiny pieces hearing that from her daughter. Her innocent child. If only she could shield her from all the heartaches.
"How about you go to sleep then maybe tomorrow or the day after tomorrow we could talk about Daddy and maybe we could ask Mommy too if she has videos of us four when you were little?" Sofia excitedly nodded. She loved watching those videos and hearing the voice of Mark.
"Mama." Sofia still wasn't done talking.
"Okay, Mija, you really need to sleep now—"
"Do you cry when you miss Mommy too?" And then suddenly Callie was quiet. Little brown eyes that look exactly like hers stared right through her soul.
"I do Sof. Every time." This time Callie's not lying.
"Is that why you were crying last night and the other night too?"
"Baby..." she didn't think Sofia have seen all the nights she was crying in the balcony, she made sure both Penny and Sofia were asleep—
"I always see you go out of your room at night, you go out and you just cry. Do you miss Mommy that much? Or is it Daddy?" Callie was trying to control her tears but she just couldn't right now. Sofia saw her Mother's tears and quickly wiped it with her own hands.
"I'm sorry, Sof." Because she really was. She didn't want her daughter to see her like this. Has she put her through so much?
"We're here now Mama. We're with Mommy now. She won't let the monsters hurt you. That's what she always promise me." Callie smiled at her.
"She won't." She assured her daughter.
"I pray to have more dinners with you and Mommy for the rest of my life. Good night, Mama." And then Sofia dozed off to sleep leaving the older brunette in tears without knowing that a certain blue eyed blonde was listening throughout their conversation.
After she was sure that Sofia is already fast asleep, Callie found her way down at Arizona's living room. She decided that she would just wait here for Meredith.
Not that she was surprised cause she also has their photos on display in her house back in New York, Callie was really glad to see all their family photos on Arizona's wall. She checked what she could and reminisced through all the memories behind each one of them. Wandering in her own thoughts she got a little bit startled when she saw Arizona standing at the kitchen counter.
"You should rest, Arizona. Meredith will be here in an hour. Actually, how far is it if I just walk from here to the hospital? Or should I just take a cab? I don't wanna keep you up any longer."
"Sit."
"I'm sorry?"
"Just sit, Calliope!" That was it, that was the tone Callie was always afraid of, it only meant that the blonde is pissed beyond her limit, Callie quickly checked if Arizona's under the influence of alcohol but seeing that her hands and the kitchen counter were clear she shuffled towards her upon command and took a seat in front of Arizona.
When Callie was seated, Arizona reached to get Callie's injured hand to take a look but upon doing so Callie closed her eyes and flinched away, as if she was anticipating something else. Callie's hand started to shake. This was the red flag for Arizona. Something definitely was wrong.
"Did you seriously think I was gonna hit you, Callie?" She almost broke down.
Callie calmed down a bit, she shook her head to answer. Lie.
"What the hell happened in New York?" Arizona almost begged. She wasn't used to this version of Callie. She seemed scared and fragile. She gave up when Callie didn't answer, she focused on her priority right now which was Callie's hand. They can do the talking later.
It was a big cut, a deep one too that needed at least 6-7 stitches, instead there were only three so there were still some open areas. By the looks of how it was closed, Arizona was sure that Callie did them herself.
"Jesus Christ, Callie." Arizona couldn't believe it.
"I-I ran out of thread." She explained. "I was running out of time too, we needed to be at the airport so I just did what I could—"
"Why didn't you say anything? You're a fucking surgeon Callie, you should've known better!" Arizona noticed her voice was raising so she calmed herself before speaking again.
"You've been at the hospital the whole day and you didn't even do anything about it? What if we can't save it? What if— Can you even make a fist?" She assessed despite being so worried. When Callie shook her head no, Arizona quickly stood up and grabbed what looks like a huge first aid box. Of course she has a suture kit in her box.
She pulled the kit out and removed the gauze off of Callie's hand and started to clean the cut.
"It's fine Arizona, Meredith can do it, she was gonna do it—"
"I can do it too Calliope! I am a god damn surgeon too!"
I know, and a good one too. I just didn't wanna bother you, I've bothered you enough. But Callie just remained quiet. She noticed tears in Arizona's eyes. And I've hurt you enough too.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. How many times will she say sorry?
"This is gonna hurt." Arizona whispered back. She doesn't even know why she's crying. She's been sensing something was off with Callie and it pains her to see her ex-wife like this but it pains her even more that Callie doesn't seem to trust her, that she's trusting Meredith more than her.
When she was sure her eyes are clear from the tears, Arizona positioned Callie's arm so she could get a better view on the area she was going to close, the cut was near Callie's right knuckle, her dominant hand, making it impossible for her to perform surgery for a while.
Only having a topical anesthesia available, both surgeons knew that this was gonna hurt but Callie's hand has already been numb with pain since she had this cut this morning so when Arizona started closing, she barely even felt it, not until the third suture, it was not that bad but Callie couldn't hold her emotions anymore.
Without saying any words, she just cried. She cried everything she's been feeling that's been locked up for 2 years. Arizona remained quiet, fighting her own tears back.
God knows how much she wanted to hug Callie right now. What has Penny done? How did Callie end up like this. It's like, she's not Callie anymore.
"Almost done. Almost." She tells Callie although it was more for herself.
"Did Penny do this?" Arizona calmed herself, she just wanted answers.
"I know it should be none of my business but when I found out that my daughter knew something and she was really scared to tell me, which by the way makes me really, really mad, Callie, this has become my business too, so tell me, did Penny do this?" She's trying to lower her voice now. Her being mad just makes it more impossible for Callie to speak up.
When Callie nodded her head, Arizona has muttered thousands of curses under her breath.
"Did she hurt Sofia too?"
"No, I will never let that happen and she will never hurt Sofia—"
"Callie we need to call the police, we need to report —"
"No! No Arizona. You can't do that. No, please no."
"Are you—Are you defending her right now?"
"I'm not! Arizona, you don't understand. I can't. We can't tell the police. Just—just trust me please." Callie begged.
"Then tell me what happened!"
"It was an accident Arizona!" Callie raised her voice to prove a point.
"Stop saying it was an accident because Sofia was telling me otherwise—"
"What did she tell you?"
"I don't know Callie! What was she supposed to tell me? Our daughter is keeping your secret for you!"
"It was an accident. We were cooking breakfast, and then we started fighting. I said things and made her really mad, it was my fault, she didn't mean to hit my hand with the knife. My hand was bleeding so bad I was trying to stop it and she was crying, she was saying sorry, that was what Sofia saw—no, no, Sofia didn't see anything, she just—she just heard Penny saying sorry so Sofia thinks Penny did this on purpose." Callie explained only saying half the truth.
"Stop it Callie. Stop right there."
"Arizona—"
"No Callie. Stop. I don't know why but I feel like you're making up stories just to save Penny from this. Who are you right now? Why—" Arizona can't even finish her sentence.
"Why do you keep choosing her over us?" She finally uttered.
"I'm not choosing her—"
"I've spent days feeding my guilt, wondering if I ever was a good parent for Sofia, that me, giving Sofia back to you was the best thing for her although it was too painful for me. But now you're making me regret my decisions."
"I'm sorry Arizona. Just listen to me please, there—there's something else you need to know—"
"Oh there's something else? Is it another lie to cover Penny?" When Callie took her gaze off of Arizona, the blonde confirmed that Callie was not being true.
"See? You can't even look at me! Look at me Callie! Look straight in my eye and tell me you're only saying nothing but the truth." Callie took a deep breath, her eyes remained on the floor. She can't do what the blonde was asking her to do. Although it was wrong, Callie felt all her guards up again. Doubts and fears suddenly filled her head. She couldn't do it. She hates that she still couldn't say what she's supposed to be saying.
Arizona shook her head.
"How can I even trust you right now?— Oh wait... Who am I to talk about trust right?" Arizona said almost laughing but she didn't get anything from Callie.
For the first time Arizona wished Callie has something to say. She wished Callie would fight back, that she would argue just to defend her point like the old Callie always does but she didn't. Callie didn't answer, she just stayed silent.
Both their attention went to Callie's phone ringing, caller ID says Meredith, meaning she's already outside waiting. She knew. Arizona knew how close Callie and Meredith grew, she's glad to know that Callie didn't completely leave her life in Seattle, she just hoped she was still part of that life.
Arizona reached to hold Callie's cheeks and wipe the tears that has been falling non-stop.
"I am so angry and so disappointed and hurt, really hurt— but I still can't hate you right now. Not ever... not even a little bit." She whispered, kissing the latina's temple.
"When you're done being scared... when you're done hiding your truth, I wish you would realize that you have more people than Meredith who's willing to understand." Callie just nodded. Arizona put her hand to where Callie's heart lies and whispered something that made the latina break down even more—
"I know she's still here somewhere.
I miss her, Calliope."
