5
Flashback
It was a sunny afternoon, it's almost summer in New York and the heat it's bringing is no joke. Living here in the big apple for more than a year, she realized how much she actually loved the rain in Seattle and the June gloom it brings. She used to hate those but that's how the irony of life works, the worse things she hated are the ones that she now miss the most.
With a 96 degree weather outside that feels like a hundred, Callie was still surprisingly in a good mood.
Well, she would be because 3 nights ago she fetched her precious daughter at the airport after receiving a call from Arizona that it would be best for Sofia to just have one school and that she doesn't need to go back and forth in Seattle just to fulfill their settlement in court.
Arizona shared how Sofia had been, the whole time she was with her and how she felt as if she was Rapunzel's bad step-mother after their daughter boldly told her that she hated her.
"Arizona, you know that's not true right? Sofia loves you but she can be really hard headed. I don't know, maybe she got that from Mark." Callie remembered telling her ex-wife, trying to lighten up Arizona's mood although both women know how Sofia is a little Calliope in every way.
Arizona has forced Sofia into her school in Seattle but failed after receiving phone calls after phone calls with the Principal. Now even if school year's almost over, she's decided to send Sofia back to Callie. It may seem to not make sense but after trying all her power to cheer her little girl up, it's just not working and Sofia's hatred just grows bigger and bigger every day so she was left with no choice.
The last blow was when she was called to get Sofia after fighting with a kid in the school's playground as if stealing money wasn't enough for her, Sofia ended up with a bruise and a scratch on her elbow that day. It broke Arizona's heart into million pieces. She knew she needed to do something.
Arizona explained to Calliope that this is not her giving up with Sofia. She just didn't want to further damage their kid by forcing her into something she doesn't want. Callie understood her point despite thinking how late it is for Sofia to move back to her school here in New York.
She almost choked in her own tears hearing Arizona cry on the other line, it was the first time after a very long time that they talked for hours and she didn't want it to be like this.
So they agreed, she'll have Sofia during the school months and Arizona would get her every summer, except this coming summer, obviously. With their schedules changing big time, Callie promised that Arizona would have Sofia during Christmas and New Year and she also invited the blonde over to New York to come visit Sofia anytime. It's the least thing she could do for her ex-wife.
Callie also promised to talk to Sofia and show her the repercussions of her actions. Arizona asked her to just be gentle with the kid and understand where she is coming from.
This is how their parenting style differs from the other. Callie doesn't coddle. Callie rewards the good but punishes the bad. She's the one to give Sofia time outs and death stares in public. Arizona, on the other hand, is the coddler. The -I'll give you everything you want- kind of mother. She's the one to bring Sofia to the mall almost every day, treat her to the grandest movie dates and enroll her to dance lessons, singing lessons, campings and all such which Callie doesn't see much of an issue between them, she has her own way of spoiling her princess anyway. She think that's how they balance, it's just funny cause they always thought it would be the other way around.
After Callie said her thank you to Arizona for the thousanth time she remembers hanging up the phone that night and thought that all these, the distance and their time being apart, would be over soon.
"Penny! I got my recorder today!" Sofia excitedly showed the red head who just entered their apartment.
"Good. How was school sweetheart?" Penny said masking the disappointment she had at work today.
Penny has grown to love Sofia's presence because without her, her and Callie always just end up in an ugly argument.
"It was goooood! I missed everybody!" Sofia answered with a glimmer in her eyes, but then her mood changed... "I just wish Mommy's here." The little latina shared innocently without knowing how that could piss the woman in an instant. Penny leaned in to hug her, trying so hard not to show her disappointment.
"Well, you would still be with Mommy if you behaved in Seattle..." Callie, who was listening in the kitchen adjacent to the living room, heard Sofia's comment. She raised her eyebrows at her daughter who just rolled her eyes on her. It's her antics as such that wanna make Callie laugh at times, if not with the obvious bruise on the little feisty latina's face, she would have let her get away with one eyeroll, but then she was reminded of all her daughter's acts in Seattle so she thought otherwise.
"Sofia Robbins, you did not just roll your eyes at me!" She raised her voice.
"Sorry Mama." The little girl quickly retreated. Callie already had a talk with Sofia regarding her behavior in Seattle, she let the little girl know that none of those made her proud as her Mama and because of that she gets to bed an hour early for the whole month and she has set up strict screen time meaning she only have an hour of TV or cellphone or computer a day.
"But Seattle's not fun without you, Mama." Sofia whispered, she had been arguing but Callie won't let her get her way. With one raise of an eyebrow, the little latina know how her Mama could put her into place.
"Like how New York's not as fun without Mommy." She added and went back to focus on making music, or rather noise, with her new instrument.
Callie chose not to answer her daughter on that one. She just took a deep breath and lay her attention to the woman who was quietly listening to their mother and daughter banter.
"Hey hot shot." Callie turned to her girlfriend, shaking her head after Sofia's comment.
Penny made her way to the kitchen to set her stuff over the counter and studied the latina in front of her. Callie, in her good mood, went up to kiss her girlfriend but Penny just avoided her lips and offered her cheek instead.
Callie has been noticing her girlfriend being cold for days now, maybe even weeks. She hasn't counted but they've been arguing over tiny stuff and it has become exhausting.
Thankfully though, Penny brightened a little having Sofia around the past 2 days. There was still definitely less talking but it was less fighting too so the ortho surgeon think that's good enough.
"Hey. What's the matter?" Callie tried asking for the nth time even if she knows she will never get an answer out of Penny. She was trying to catch her eye to get her sole attention but the lady has been putting up her wall so high, Callie doesn't even know why it was built in the first place.
"Are you seriously just wearing your underwear in front of your daughter? God, Callie, the whole neighborhood can see you." Penny switched the topic and pointed at the large window that was open. Callie rolled her eyes, Sofia did pick up a lot from her Momma.
"Here she goes again picking on tiny stuff obviously just to start a fight." She whispered enough for her girlfriend to hear.
"What did you just say?" Penny raised her voice.
Callie laughed, she was thankful that Sofia was loud and busy enough as she practice her new recorder so she could talk without her hearing.
"Okay Debbie Downer. First, this is not my underwear, I'm wearing my shorts cause it's freaking burning in this city and second, it's not my problem if people stare at my butt and my boobs. It's theirs and their perverted minds." Callie made a point motioning her hand through her body, still trying to keep her mood up.
She was not on call today so she wore her comfiest outfit without actually bothering to look good. She was wearing a blue tank top without her bra and a pink boy short that hugged her glorious behind, showing her toned body perfectly. She put her hair up in a bun but there are still baby hairs touching her face and her neck. This was her lazy look during her days off and this was also the look that could drive her women crazy, a certain blue eyed pediatric surgeon in particular, and even Penny before but now Penny was acting a different kind of crazy.
"So Debbie, how about you take a shower and I give you a massage after dinner? Maybe we could do a little something something too when the little rugrat goes to sleep." Callie jokes as she tries to flirt just to lighten up the mood. She has been doing this every night to get a score from Penny but instead she gets turned down and it really frustrates her. Callie loves sex and she's proud of it and not having one for weeks is a killer for her.
"Debbie Downer?" Penny asked.
"That or Negative Nancy. Your call, Penny." Callie joked but it didn't help the situation, if not it actually just worsened Penny's mood.
Penny was gonna say something but she was interrupted with Sofia's loud flute, the poor kid has been making bad sounds since she's arrived.
"God damn it! Sofia will you lower that down please?!" Penny shouted at the little brunette which shocked all three of them. Penny never raises her voice at Sofia. This was Callie's turning point.
"Hey!" Callie called Penny out and went straight to her daughter before her mouth blows up.
"Mija, can you practice in your room please? I'll just call you when dinner's ready." She sweetly ran her fingers through her daughter's hair and gave her a kiss on her forehead, the kid was obviously shocked and it might have scared her a little that she didn't even give a fight and just skidded her way to her room.
When she was sure that Sofia was safely inside, she turned to the red head who now has tears in her eyes. Great! Now she gets to cry?
"What was that Penny? What was that?! Were you having a bad day at work so you just decide to storm in here and be cranky at everyone? Jeez, it's like I have two children! Your mood swings lately are horrible, even worse than Sofia's!" Her voice certainly a little higher than it was before but still not loud enough so Sofia wouldn't hear them.
"She was loud, we were talking!"
"She was loud? She has been practicing before you came in and start picking a fight!"
"Picking a fight? What, so I can't scold our daughter?" Did she hear her right?
"OUR daughter? Penny, last time I checked, she is MY daughter and if you have a problem with her you go through it with ME because I AM her mother, NOT YOU!" Callie explained trying to remind Penny her rules with regards Sofia and her discipline with her kid.
"I'm not her mother but Arizona is? Explain to me how we're different in terms of relationship, Callie?"
"She has—"
"The custody?! She's on papers? Just those Callie? If I'm not a mother to Sofia then Arizona's not far different too! She WAS your girlfriend when you had Sofia just as much as I AM your girlfriend now!"
"We are not fighting about this right now." Callie laughed as if she was hearing some non sense stupid joke and went back to check the dinner she was making. She was fire red meaning she is fuming mad, add in a few spanish curses she's been whispering under her breath, then it means she's gonna blow anytime soon.
"Oh you don't wanna talk about Arizona? Why wouldn't we? Haven't you forced me enough to move back to Seattle for months now?" Penny said adding yet another fire to the flame.
"Because it's the best for Sofia! And I am not forcing you to come with us!"
"For Sofia, huh? Then why did YOUR Arizona sent her back? Why? Because she couldn't handle—"
That was enough to provoke the brunette.
"You want me to tell you the difference between you and Arizona? She cares, Penny! She cares for Sofia, she sacrifices for Sofia. She sent Sofia here because I am here, thinking that could make Sofia really happy but you know what I didn't tell her when she was crying and questioning herself as a mother? I didn't tell her that Sofia's as broken too here in New York because her Mommy's not here. That the only way to bring Sofia back is to have both her parents in the same city, no more months long of not seeing her Mommy or her Mama. I didn't tell her that because I was too god damned coward to admit that moving here with you was a huge HUGE mistake!" Callie swore she heard a flat line in her ear when Penny slapped her.
Her whole body was woken up with fear. This was the first time Penny's gone physical. She stepped back and ran straight towards their bedroom but she was attacked yet again with a fuming red head.
"You don't get to blame me for that Callie! I never forced you to move here with me. I never forced you to move to New York. This was all you!" she said after slamming the door. All Callie could think of right now is how she would explain everything to Sofia, though impossible she was silently praying that she's not hearing their conversation.
"What are you doing? Are you leaving me? Are you moving back to Seattle?" Penny panicked when she saw Callie put pants and a shirt on then grab a luggage and starts putting her clothes inside.
"Do you seriously think Arizona would just accept you back? After everything you put her through, do you think she would like you back? No Callie! No! She hates you cause you ruined her!" That was enough for Callie to turn around.
"You can stop now, Penny." Her voice quiet, she was trying to control her emotions knowing well enough how she could start saying things she would regret telling her girlfriend if she didn't. Girlfriend? She doesn't even know who this woman is in front her right now. She doesn't sound like Penny, this isn't Penny. This is a monster.
"Stop? No! I get to say when to stop, Callie! You ruined Arizona and now you're ruining me too!"
"I'm ruining you? How am I—"
"They fired me today. They fired me because you couldn't keep your mouth shut!" Penny finally blurted out. Callie wasn't prepared for the news.
"They... they did?" Callie almost went to console the woman in front of her but the red head shoved her hand away.
"They did! Are you happy now? I'm finally out of your way, you can now freely flirt with those nurses and PTs in that fucking hospital."
"What are you talking about?"
"I know Callie! People talk! People saw you go inside the on call room and your scrub nurse follows you."
"To sleep, Penny! To fucking sleep because I can't even come home to this apartment without you barging in and starting a fight! Now you're accusing me of cheating too? Me? Cheating? Haha you're funny!"
"Callie you couldn't even have my back. You can't even fight for me. I should've known better—"
"They have protocols!!!" Callie fought back.
"I'm your fucking girlfriend!" Penny cried as she throws the first thing she could grab in hand which was a remote control and smashed it to the wall. Callie shrieked as she hears the destroying sound of the crash. And took a step away to study Penny.
In their new work place, Penny tried to save a patient through surgery against the hospital's policy but she went beyond it and did what she thought was best to save the patient's life. Callie was one of the people who told her to wait another day but she still went through it, as a concerned girlfriend, Callie went to discuss the matter to their chief, not to tell on Penny but to help cover her butt, forgetting she wasn't on Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. She couldn't trust this people yet. Obviously it was a wrong decision what she did, having Penny fired.
Wait... she thought to herself. It wasn't her fault. They will know anyway. Why is she blaming her for it?
"He lived. I thought he was gonna be another Derek Shepherd but he lived. I saved him but I still got fired?! What fucking system do we have? Where do I stand? Why do people hate me either way? And you want me to move back to Seattle? How selfish are you Calliope?"
Callie remained silent and continued to watch as Penny's emotions shift from one to another. Her concern is growing and the doctor in her start to kick in. This isn't normal. She wanted to stay but the mother in her knew that she shouldn't. This environment is not healthy for Sofia, so she went and continued her way to their door, with a luggage in one hand.
"Callie! Callie please don't leave. Please. I'm sorry for everything I said, for everything I did. I'll say sorry to Sofia too. I'll do better. Please. Please Callie, I can't lose you too."
-END OF FLASHBACK-
"That bitch." Meredith commented after her friend told her the first time Penny ever lay a hand on her. Callie gave her a glare.
"What? You know I hate her ever since—"
"You hate her cause you're blaming her for something she didn't do." Callie explained.
"Heck yeah. I'm blaming her for something SHE DIDN'T do." A drunk Meredith rebutted causing a drunk brunette to shake her head.
"Hey! No judgments remember?! I need you to be my person tonight. I'm Meredith and you're my Cristina so you will just listen and not talk shit." Callie reminded her friend. She was gonna suggest for Meredith to be her Mark but that would include a lot of sexual comments which she would find cringe-worthy to hear from Meredith so she just asked for a Cristina. Besides, she could use a little dark and twisted in her situation.
"Oh trust me, I'm on my best Cristina right now. You should know, she was your roommate for god knows how long." Meredith explained to which Callie agreed.
"Besides why are you still taking her side? We get it, she used to be perfect Penny but she isn't anymore so... fuck her." Callie figured Meredith still hates the red head. All those times, she was just trying to be civil with her.
"She isn't perfect Penny anymore... oh God... I did break her Mer." Callie drawled after chugging almost half of the bottle in her hand.
"You didn't. So what happened after you left? How did you last months with that woman? You should have just moved back here!"
"We spent the night in a hotel, me and Sofia. That was the plan, I was gonna buy us a ticket and just fly back here but then I realized how complicated our situation is. I can't just jump on the plane and leave my life in New York like I did in Seattle. I signed a two year contract with the hospital and seeing how they're after money, those imbeciles would just eat half of my bank account if they sue me."
"Wait, so you lived in a hotel for the whole 6 months?"
"No... the next day I dropped Sofia to school, I received a phone call, Penny overdosed and was rushed in the hospital. I blamed myself for that. I knew she had the tendency. I saw the red flags but I still left. If she had died that day I would forever hold her in my conscience, my guilt would eat me alive. That was the last time I left her... til today happened. She wouldn't kill herself would she? Oh shit, what if she would!? Meredith I have to go back—"
"No one's going back! You're staying here! She stabbed you with a knife!"
"She didn't stab me. She was gonna hurt herself—"
"And you stupidly thought it's the brightest idea to use your hand as a shield? Badass Torres who?"
"She needs help, Mer. Her losing her job and the grant for her research triggered whatever she's going through right now. I'm tired of compromising. I'm tired of being her cushion, I'm tired of absorbing everything. Sofia, my daughter, she needs me too but right now I feel so fucking empty Mer." Callie just cried. Meredith, who admittedly said she was not a hugger, enveloped the crying latina in her body to console her friend.
"What if she's right? What if I actually destroy the people I love? Meredith I tell people that you don't destroy the people you love but I did. I-I destroyed them." Callie kept talking. She sat straight and rested her back on the couch behind her, they were in Meredith's living room. It was dark and they just left a candle and a light open enough to illuminate their spot. She knew that she's gonna regret drinking this late with an early conference she have the next morning.
"Oh Jesus, I destroyed George, didn't I?" Callie said after their long silence as if she just found a missing puzzle piece. She cried enough for the whole day that her tears weren't falling anymore.
"You didn't destroy George." Meredith rolled her eyes at her friend.
"I did! I was too jealous of your friendship and Izzie that I questioned his love for me enough to force him to marry me even if he's not ready and then I scared him for wanting children early in our relationship and look what happened? Look what happened?! He was forced to cheat on me and then he died." Callie explained almost making Meredith choke with the shot of tequila she just took.
"That is stupid! You're talking nonsense right now Callie."
"No! And then Erica too. I lead her on with my uncertainties. She hated me so much she just left one of the top hospitals without even thinking twice just because she doesn't wanna see me anymore. I destroyed her too. Penny's right, I'm going to hell, Meredith."
"Okay. I think we had too much tequila for tonight. We should stop." Said the blonde but Callie didn't stop.
"Oh and Arizona... my sweet sweet Arizona. Listen, I ruined Arizona the most. I destroyed my one great love, my wife, I exhausted her mentally, emotionally and physically enough to push her away from me.—"
"You only saved her—"
"I only broke her and this will keep breaking her and she would hate me for the rest of her life when she finds out and that would be my punishment... that would be my hell." She said sending Meredith into confusion.
"And then Penny. I broke Penny... Oh good Lord, I destroy everything I touch. Sofia... Sofia can't have me. I might hurt her, I can't—"
"Callie! Everything Penny has been feeding your brain aren't true. You are not going to believe all those!"
"But they've been said too much I can't help but believe em. They seem real too." Callie whispered. Meredith's heart broke for her friend.
Both ladies just sat in silence. They both found comfort with the sound of the crackling candle sitting atop the center table in front of them.
Callie was massaging her head when Meredith took her injured hand and bent the proximal joint on her middle finger making the brunette beside her flinch in pain.
"Ow!!!! What the hell was that for, Grey?"
"Mmhhmn. Possible tendon injury, with pain it's a good prognosis that it's not completely torn. We need to take an MRI tomorrow and fix whatever's damaged. With therapy your hand may take 4 to 8 weeks to return full function."
"You didn't think I did my own assessment smart ass? I'm THE ortho GODDESS for a reason." She said trying to sound like the old Callie.
"I know. I was just reminding you cause you seem to have forgotten where your brain was when you thought your hand was made out of steel, Ms. Ortho Goddess." Meredith joked, which earned her a laugh from Callie and a little nudge on her shoulder.
"Bitch."
"You said you want Cristina so here she is." They both laughed.
"I miss that woman." Callie said.
"I miss everyone." Meredith agreed til both women fell silent once again.
"Callie, tell me why we're not telling the police about Penny?!" Meredith asked pointing at Callies injured hand.
"We can't."
"We can't because?"
"Because it could ruin Arizona and her career."
