IV. Heavy Things
Like most people who disliked most other people, Sasuke had a soft spot for animals, and it was this quality that kept him from slicing open an escape route through his warty captor's belly. The giant amphibian eventually regurgitated him on the dirt in a heap of mussed hair and toad spit. Having finally learned what digested earthworms smelled like, Sasuke decided to show Naruto his appreciation by going for his jugular.
Naruto caught Sasuke by the wrist, stopping his friend's kunai inches away from his throat.
"Guessing you didn't appreciate The Gama-chan Express, huh?" He grinned.
Wordlessly, and with murder in his eyes, Sasuke unleashed a spinning roundhouse kick at his idiotic head. Naruto blocked it with a raised arm and a laugh, though the blow should have shattered bone of anyone else.
"C'mon, it wasn't that bad," Naruto tried, clearly knowing it was.
"You fed me to a frog!" Sasuke raged.
"It's technically a toad."
Naruto earned himself another punch to the face for that, and this time the blow connected.
"Ow! Jeez! Watch it you ass, okay, okay, so maybe I deserved that one," he said rubbing his jaw. "Look, Sasuke." Naruto hooked a casual arm over his friend's shoulders and guided him towards Ichiraku's light. Sasuke noticed people were staring, some in awe of being in Naruto's demi-god presence, and others because Sasuke had just been spat out by a giant toad. "I know that you know that we both know that if I had just let you back into your apartment you'd do nothing but sit in the dark and stare at the walls like the creepy kid you are."
"I'm leaving."
"Not so fast, creepy one!" He grabbed Sasuke by the shoulders. "Yo, Old Man!"
"Evening, Naruto!" Teuchi greeted his lifetime customer from behind a screen of steam.
"The usual?"
"Yup! Two orders, one for me and one for Sasuke, here."
"Oh! Sasuke-kun, I didn't see you there! You're back!"
Sasuke dipped his head in a polite bow; he still wanted to destroy Naruto, but that didn't mean his manners had to go out the window.
"Look," Naruto said, trying to reason with Sasuke. "It's not like you have anything better to do tonight."
"What, you mean other than stare at the walls in the dark?"
"Exactly! Just pay for my ramen, we can get a few beers later, you can whine about how much your life sucks, and then maybe your life will suck a little less. Besides, nothing can beat a bowl of Ichiraku on a cold night!"
Sasuke had to admit to himself the heat coming off the giant, eternally bubbling pots was a welcome reprieve from the bitter March cold outside. Not to mention the smell was enough to remind him he hadn't eaten anything aside from his tomato all day. Sasuke took a seat at the counter with a scowl, making sure the blonde knew just how much he didn't want to be here.
Naruto plopped into the stool next to his friend and sighed. "Man, this really bites though."
Sasuke ignored him, so Naruto heaved another, louder sigh, this time pointedly in Sasuke's ear.
"What?" Sasuke snapped.
"Hinata's gone," Naruto said plaintively. "She left for a mission last night. She won't be back for a whole month! Can you believe that? What am I going to do for a whole friggin' month?"
Before Sasuke had a chance to point out that up until the past few years Naruto probably wouldn't have been able to distinguish Hinata from an umbrella stand, Teuchi set down two bowls before the two young men. "Two miso pork ramen!" He announced from behind the counters.
The steam rose rapidly off the soup. Sasuke suddenly remembered when they had been kids, Kakashi had put them through a particularly grueling survival exercise in the dead of winter. It was a three day ordeal in temperatures so cold the lake at the training ground had frozen over several inches thick. They had all suffered minor frostbites at the end of it, and even Naruto had been subdued into an exhausted silence. Afterwards, Kakashi had dragged his half-dead students to Ichiraku and treated them to all the ramen they wanted as an award for not dying. It was then, while Sasuke sat thawing his frozen hands against a hot bowl of ramen, surrounded by his team and the chatter of customers speaking over the sound of boiling pots that he had felt a rare sense of comfort and joy.
In the present, Sasuke stared down at his bowl, suddenly aware of the years that had passed since that small moment.
"Ittadakimasu!" The blonde bellowed next to him before eagerly tucking in.
A smile ghosted across Sasuke's features. Konoha had changed, and his head was still spinning from all the bright lights and new buildings. The streets were bigger and louder, people seemed to be in more of a rush, and everyone he'd known since he was a kid seemed to be dating one another, but Sasuke was glad to find that, despite all the change, this little ramen stand had managed to withstand the current of time.
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A few hours later the duo found themselves holed up at a nearby bar. It had taken a great deal of the Naruto's ninja cunning and wiles to convince his friend that going for a round of beer after dinner was a fantastic idea. Well, ninja cunning, wiles, and incessant whining.
In the end, Sasuke had allowed the blonde to steer him down the street from Ichiraku into a nearby izakaya because Naruto's promise of "just one beer, Sasuke" had seemed innocent enough. Also, Sasuke didn't want to admit it, but there really wasn't much to do at home other than sit around and twiddle his thumbs. Besides, between all the wilderness and backwater towns his travels took him through, he didn't remember the last time he had the chance to have a drink. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more enticing the beer became.
Upon entering the bar, they received a raucous welcome, or more accurately, a bunch of drunk people shouted excitedly at Naruto.
"Hey look! Uzumaki Naruto!" Someone cried drunkenly.
"Ubumaki Narudo!" A second voice garbled.
"You're the man!"
"I want to have your babies!" A woman screeched.
Naruto winced at the last one. "Uh, hi!" He smiled sheepishly while simultaneously herding Sasuke towards some booths in the emptier section.
As soon as they slid into their seats, the owner hurried over to their table and plunked down two glasses of beer and bowl of edamame. "On the house!" He said with a grin.
"Oh! Thanks Ossan!" Naruto's face split into a massive grin, and at first, Sasuke thought the whole "Village Hero" thing wasn't too bad of a deal. Then word spread that Uzumaki Naruto, Savior of Konoha and Probable Hokage-to-Be was sitting in the third booth from the back of the bar. From there on out, every ten minutes or so, a random stranger would eagerly come up to greet Naruto, thank him for saving the village, maybe offer their ovaries if they were female, and then set down another glass of beer, either oblivious or uncaring to the fact that the an army of booze had already laid siege across the surface of their table. Naruto, still awkward as ever in the face of acknowledgement despite having chased after it all his life (or maybe because of the fact), could only respond by rubbing the back of his head and laughing nervously as he accepted the drink.
After his twelfth admirer of the night stopped by, they were eight or nine drinks deep, and Sasuke felt his head beginning to spin.
Naruto brought his forehead against the tabletop. "Oh man, I think I'm getting drunk," he told his toes.
Sasuke spied another hopeful slowly creeping up to their table with an inevitable free beer in hand and to warded the fan off with a trademark glare.
"Why don't we call it a night?" Sasuke suggested.
Naruto shifted so his head so his chin was now resting on the tabletop. He blearily looked at Sasuke. "You drunk, old man?"
Sasuke took a sip of his beer. "I think I'm in better shape than you."
"Hey! You know what your problem is?" Naruto slurred lifting his head.
Sasuke didn't know what his problem was, but he doubted Naruto and his eight beers did either.
"Your problem," the blonde continued without waiting for Sasuke to answer, "is that you're just still so emo!"
"You were the one crying about your girlfriend leaving just a few hours ago."
"Shut up!" Naruto knocked Sasuke's point away with a swipe of his hand. "At least I had the balls to tell her I liked her. Just look at you, you're so fucking slow, damnit. I showed up at your apartment today and you looked like you were about to put a fucking chidori through your front door!"
"I heard Hinata confessed to you two years before you realized you liked her back, dumbass."
"That's not the problem here!" Naruto banged his fist on the table. "When are you going to tell Sakura-chan?"
"I don't have anything to tell her," Sakura replied mulishly.
Naruto groaned while tearing at his hair. "Of course you do! You like her! You fucking love her!"
"No I don't."
"Yes you do!"
"Let it go, Naruto," Sasuke warned.
"You're such a fucking coward! I don't get you!"
"I said, let. It. Go." Sasuke enunciated every word, making it clear he wasn't going to repeat himself.
Naruto let out a frustrated nose. "Is this about Kiba? I bet this is about Kiba. What else did you expect? You can't just leave her and expect her to wait around! For what it's worth, he asked her out first, and she only said yes because he showed up every day at the hospital with flowers, which is honestly better than your non-existent ass never showing!"
Sasuke lunged across the table and grabbed the blonde by his jacket, knocking glasses over and flooding the table with beer. "I said let it fucking go! Damnit, don't you ever know when to shut up?"
Naruto gave Sasuke a sloppy grin. "Oh, it seems we're finally fucking getting somewhere."
Sasuke threw him back against his seat in disgust. "Shut the fuck up, you're drunk. We're leaving," He said, making an executive decision. He went to stand and the floor shifted beneath his feet, catching him off guard. He swayed in a very un-ninja like way and grabbed the table for support. A low curse slipped out between his lips.
"No. Fuck you," Naruto slurred back and lowered himself sideways onto the booth.
Never in his nineteen years of existence did Sasuke ever think Naruto could get any more insufferable, and yet here he was, bearing witness to the impossible. 'I could just leave him here,' Sasuke thought.
"If you pass out, I'm not dragging your ass back home," Sasuke said, grabbing Naruto roughly by the front of his jacket in an attempt to forcibly extricate him from his seat. "C'mon you."
"Ow! Hey, let go!" Naruto flailed his arms, taking wild swipes at what he approximated to be Sasuke's head and missing superbly. "I'm not going to pass out—ah."
That "ah" was all the warning Sasuke got before Naruto tipped his head forward and threw up, and not even Sasuke's god-like speed was quick enough to save his hand from the hot cascade of vomit.
"Ugh, sorry." Naruto wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Just give me sec to put my head down…real quick…," he muttered as lowered himself to lay across the booth one more.
Sasuke's usually impassive façade gave way to a turmoil of emotions as he stared in wide-eyed at his desecrated hand; first in horror then disgust, until it finally settled on white-hot rage. His now-red eye slid over to where his friend lay. Judging by the steady rise and fall of his chest, the blonde had fallen asleep.
"You fucking moron," Sasuke cursed.
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Under more favorable circumstances, Sasuke would have just called upon one his summons to take Naruto and him home, however, the alcohol was making it difficult for him to properly mold his chakra, and so, damned to the world of lesser mortals, found himself forced to walk like everyone else.
Though "walk" may have been a little too generous of a term for the pace they were setting. With Naruto's arm slung around his shoulders, Sasuke was having a hard time keeping both himself and his barely conscious charge upright. Naruto would manage to take a few wobbly steps every now and then, but for the most part, it was Sasuke half-dragging, half-carrying the blonde while struggling to keep his own footing as the ground swayed beneath them. It was like carrying a six-foot tall sack of potatoes, only heavier and not as smart.
Eventually, Sasuke came across a bench and dumped Naruto onto it before taking a seat next to him. Naruto fell sideways moaning lowly before tumbling off onto the dirt, and Sasuke didn't care enough to pick him back up. He fell against the back of the bench as he tried to catch his breath, the cold air a welcome relief as it washed over his flushed face. His eyelids slid shut on their own, and he told himself he'd rest here for a minute or two before heading off, just until the spinning stopped.
The next think he knew, someone was shaking him awake.
"Sasuke-kun? Sasuke-kun, wake up."
Sasuke cracked open his eyes, furrowing his brows as he tried to focus. It took him a moment to collect his thoughts and a put a name to the face before him. "Sakura?"
"What're you doing out here? And why's Naruto on the ground? What happened?"
"Beer," Sasuke managed to rasp as he struggled to sit up straight. Suddenly, it felt like someone had boxed him straight in the ears and he groaned, his head sagging forward as he tried in vain to stop the spinning. He began to shake uncontrollably.
"I think they're drunk," a second voice said. Sasuke muzzily pegged it as Kiba's. Fucking great.
"What's he doing here?" Sasuke mumbled. Either Sakura didn't hear him, or she didn't want to, but no one answered.
Suddenly something cool and soft broke through the dizziness and pressed against his forehead before it slid down to his his cheek. "His body temperature's low," he heard Sakura say. "How long have you guys been out for?"
"Not sure," Sasuke muttered. He tried to pull her hand away from his face, but ended up grabbing onto it instead as another wave of nausea tossed him about. She squeezed his hand back and reached up to rub his back soothingly; Sasuke couldn't tell if her gesture was actually helping or making things worse.
"Don't worry, we'll get you guys home," she reassured him. She pulled off her scarf and wound it around her old teammate's neck. It didn't stop the shivering, but he felt a little warmer. He burrowed his face deeper into it.
"I can take Naruto back, if you want to take Sasuke," Kiba said.
"What? I mean I can take Naruto, instead, it doesn't matter to me either way."
"What I meant was since Naruto's out, I think it'd be easier for me to take him home. I can call Akamaru to help. It looks like Sasuke's awake enough to at least stand on his feet."
Sakura hesitated. "Okay," she said at length.
If Kiba noticed her look of trepidation, he pretended he didn't and instead went to haul Naruto off the ground. "All right, let's get you home, bud. Holy shit, you friggin reek. Oi, how much did you assholes drink tonight?"
A loud snore erupted from the blonde in response. A few moments later, Akamaru loped up to Kiba's side with a happy bark. Kiba slung the blonde across the giant canine's back and hopped on behind his incapacitated bundle.
"All right, Akamaru. To the idiot's lair!"
"Kiba!"
"Huh?"
"...I had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks."
"Glad to hear! I'll stop by the hospital tomorrow, Sakura. Get home safe." And then he took off, leaving Sakura behind to watch him disappear into the night with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.
She stood watching for a long time, waiting for the Inzuka boy disappear down the road. Finally, when the tip of Akamaru's tail was swallowed up by the darkness, she turned and sat next to Sasuke. Pulling his arms across her shoulders, she circled her arm his waist for extra support. "Okay, Sasuke-kun, let's go," she said and tried to rise, but Sasuke didn't budge.
"Sasuke-kun," she began sweetly. "If you can't get up and walk, then I'm going to have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you back."
Her words cut through his inebriation, riling up enough of his pride for him to grunt in pain before he struggled to stand. Sakura rose with him and yelped in surprise as the entirety of his weight suddenly fell against her.
"Sorry," he said hoarsely, but couldn't manage to pull himself away- if he did, there was a good chance he'd fall flat on his face.
"No worries," she said as she steadied herself with the help of her chakra. "I'm a lot stronger than I look. Besides, I've had to do this plenty of times at the hospital with guys who're twice your size."
Fortunately, Sasuke's apartment wasn't too far away, and with the added help of Sakura's monstrous strength, they got through his front door. Sasuke kicked off his shoes at the entry way and took his arm back from Sakura as he stumbled in. His bedroom was too far away, so he fell onto the couch instead. He heard Sakura telling him he shouldn't fall asleep there, but unconsciousness was taking him fast, and he didn't even have the strength to tell her to leave him alone.
A few moments later he felt something soft slip under his head and an incredible amount of warmth envelope his body. He blearily opened an eye to discover a blanket pulled up to his chin, and Sakura's face hovering right over his as she tucked the it in around him.
"There, your body temperature's a bit low, but that should help," she said. "Seriously, you and Naruto are such a handful sometimes."
Sasuke's shivering stopped, and he had to admit the blanket felt super nice right now. Hazily, he realized someone's fingers were threading through his hair. His mother's smile suddenly flashed in his mind-it had been ages since had last thought of her-and something shifted painfully in his chest. Wresting an arm free from beneath the blanket and grabbed her wrist, though not ungently.
"What're you doing here?" He mumbled, his eyelids already sliding shut.
"What?"
Instead of trying to explain what he meant, his hand slid up to wrap around hers, and somehow their fingers inexplicably intertwined. Sakura watched, entranced as he brought them to rest on top of his chest, his grip sure and firm.
"Sasuke-kun?" She tried, but he didn't answer, so she sat by his side, staring at their hands, neither tightening her hold nor pulling away as the clock on the wall behind her ticked loudly by.
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