Chapter 11: Bruised Knees
October 13th
Nine in the morning came too quickly. Elara blinked several times, trying to adjust her eyes to the morning. She had managed maybe three hours of sleep, waking up with nightmares several times throughout the night. The sound of Katie's screams weaving its way through her subconscious.
She dressed in a pair of jeans and her favorite royal blue sweater, one that was slightly too large and sadly misshapen, but comfortable and warm. She pulled on some thick, fuzzy socks and her boots and quickly braided her hair back.
"You're headed out early." Pansy said, emerging from the bathroom with a toothbrush in hand.
"I have breakfast plans."
"With the boy you were snogging last night?" She asked, biting her lip in a knowing smile.
Elara thought about lying, but then again… what was the point? If she and Harry became an item, Pansy would find out eventually. "Yes." She said.
Pansy's eyes lit up and she sat on the edge of her bed, crossing her legs. "Who is it? Is it Blaise?! Was I right?!"
"No, it's not Blaise." She said. "And honestly, I'm not sure I want to say anything yet. He may not want anyone else to know and… I don't know if I'm ready for anyone else to know."
"Alright." Pansy said, smiling brightly. "Keep your secrets. But you had better tell me when you're ready!"
"You'll be the first to know, Panse." Elara said. "I've got to get going now. Will you make sure Draco is in a decent mood when I get back? I'm not in the mood to deal with him being moody with me."
She nodded. "I'm sure he'll be in a fabulous mood when I get done with him."
Elara crinkled her nose up and shook her head. "Gross." She said. "I don't want or need to know the details of this."
"You're just grossed out because you're a prude." Pansy joked.
Elara rolled her eyes, grabbed her knapsack and headed out. She walked the many flights of stairs to the seventh floor, silently cursing her clumsiness of yesterday. Her knees were groaning with each step she took, bruised and aching from slipping on the ice. She wondered if Hogwarts would ever get a lift put in, but then figured probably not.
Harry was sat against the blank wall in front of the Room of Requirement when she reached the seventh floor.
"Morning." He said, standing up and smiling at her.
"Good morning." She replied. "What are we doing up here?"
"I wanted to show you something." He said. "I know you have a hard time around all the people, and it's getting colder out… This may help."
She was touched that he would bring her to the room of requirement. But she was also panicking. What if they entered and he saw the cabinet? The plans that Draco and herself had left sprawled out, scribbled all over. The formulas and the incantations they had listed out…
She steadied her breath as the door appeared on the wall. Harry opened it and stepped in and Elara hesitated a moment. "Are you coming?" He asked, stretching his hand out to her.
"Yes." She said, taking his hand and following him inside.
She looked around in awe. This was not the room she was familiar with. It was much smaller, with a fireplace and comfortable looking sofas. There was a plush rug between the sofas and a few beautiful woven tapestries hanging on the walls.
"What is this?" She asked, walking to the vase of flowers on the end table and touching the petals lightly.
"It's the room of requirement." Harry said. "It turns into whatever you require. It can't produce food or anything like that… But, it can be as big or small as you need it. It can have whatever furniture or decorations you want…"
"It's lovely." She said, taking her boots off and stepping on the fluffy shag rug.
"Think of something you like." Harry said.
She paced around the room and thought Sunflowers.
"Look!" He said, pointing to the corner across from him. "Did you imagine sunflowers?"
She nodded. "Oh, they're beautiful!" She smiled, walking toward the large vase that was stock full of sunflowers.
"You like sunflowers?" Harry said.
"I do. Did you know that they face the sun? And when they can't find enough sunlight, they face each other…"
"I didn't know that." He said.
Silence settled between them for a moment, but it wasn't uncomfortable by any means. Elara was touched. Touched that Harry had thought to bring her here, to offer her a bit of sanity restoring private time, away from prying eyes and whispered voices.
She jumped when a knock came to the door. "I didn't think anyone would find us." She said.
"The room will only allow itself to be shown to those who you want in." Harry said. "And since I asked you to breakfast and it can't produce food… I asked for a little help."
She nodded in understanding.
Harry opened the door and a small house elf with tennis ball eyes and a very long nose waddled into the room, looking excited and happy. "Harry Potter! Dobby is always happy to help Harry Potter!"
"Dobby?!" Elara said, almost crying with happiness.
"Mistress Ellie!" Dobby said, making his way over to her. "Dobby has missed seeing mistress Ellie. Mistress Ellie was so kind to Dobby, protecting Dobby from Master Malfoy."
"Oh Dobby! It's so good to see you!" She said, lowering to her knees to embrace the house elf. "I've missed you at the Manor!"
"Dobby was excited to help when Dobby heard that Harry Potter needed help to get breakfast for Mistress Ellie!"
She looked at Harry, a smile brightening her face. "You asked Dobby for help?"
"I didn't know what you liked to eat for breakfast." He admitted. "And Dobby has been in the kitchens here for a few years now."
"Dobby is a free elf now, Miss!" Dobby said, puffing his chest proud. "But Dobby still likes to help!"
"I knew you were freed, Dobby! And I was so happy for you. But I miss you around the Manor. No one makes me laugh there like you did. Nimsy is sweet though, but she misses you too."
"Nimsy?" Harry asked.
"Our other house elf. We have a few. But Dobby and Nimsy have always been my favorites."
Dobby smiled with pride. "Mistress Ellie always helped Dobby and Nimsy. Dobby brought your breakfast miss! Dobby is friends with Harry Potter now!"
She laughed and pat the creatures head. "I believe Harry Potter is a good friend to have." She said, looking at Harry and smiling.
"Enjoy your breakfast mistress Ellie!" Dobby said. "Dobby must go back to the kitchen!"
She gave Dobby a parting hug and continued to smile as he waddled out the door, which now disappeared behind him.
"I can't believe you asked Dobby for help."
"Well, I couldn't exactly ask your brother." He laughed.
She nodded. "I don't think he would have liked that much."
"Dobby said you protected him?" Harry asked, joining her on the floor and opening the basket.
"My father would get angry." She said, helping Harry to put the contents of the basket onto the coffee table. "He sometimes would take it out on the elves, if he had been drinking. I would hide them in my room until he calmed down. They helped to raise us, and they're sweet. They didn't deserve a beating simply because a meeting hadn't gone his way."
"That's terrible." Harry said, sounding appalled.
She shrugged. "A lot of wealthy wizarding families have elves. A lot of them have angry masters with drinking problems. It happens frequently. I just don't like it happening around me, so if I was there, I'd try to stop it. He calmed down a lot, after we lost Dobby. I was so angry about it and I blamed him so much that I think he realized he can't treat everything like that."
Harry was quiet as he poured her a glass of cranberry juice. "It was my fault, Dobby got freed." He admitted.
She looked at him and gave a small smile. "I know." She said. "I heard about it. I'm not angry with you. I was just upset that we lost Dobby. I spent a lot of time at the Manor alone, Dobby and Nimsy were my caretakers a lot of the time. I missed him."
"I'm not sorry I freed Dobby." Harry said. "But I am sorry you lost your friend."
She shrugged. "I still have Nimsy. Mum takes good care of her, and with Father gone… She's probably better off." She picked up a raspberry and cheese Danish and took a bite. "I love pastries." She smiled.
"I know." Harry said. "Dobby told me. He said you liked fruit and cheese pastries and fresh fruit for breakfast."
She nodded. "I do." She popped a few berries into her mouth. "You have a full english? That's a lot of food first thing in the morning!" She giggled.
"I'm always starving in the mornings." He said. "I never got to eat breakfast like this before I came here. So I eat it whenever I can now."
"Why not?" She asked. "Do muggles only have cereal or something?"
He chuckled. "No." He said, taking a bite of his eggs. "I made the breakfast. I wasn't allowed to eat it."
She knit her eyebrows together, taking a sip of her juice. "What do you mean?"
"The Muggles I live with aren't… They aren't nice people." Harry said. "I've been an inconvenience to them since I was dropped on their doorstep, and they never failed to tell me that."
"Don't they know about you?" She asked. "Don't they know who you are? What you're famous for?"
"I don't think they care, honestly."
She picked at her breakfast, feeling sad for him. She didn't know that he had been mistreated before coming to Hogwarts. She didn't know that the Muggles he lived with weren't good people. She wondered if he felt the resentment towards muggles that her family often felt.
"Do you hate them?" She asked quietly. "For mistreating you?"
He shook his head. "No." He said. "I don't hate them. I don't want to go back there. I don't want a relationship with them once I come of age. But I don't hate them."
"Hate is toxic." Elara whispered. "It's a cancer."
Harry nodded. "You would know better than most."
She knitted her eyebrows together and looked at him in confusion, feeling a bit offended. "What do you mean by that?"
"Just that you clearly don't hate anyone, and your father… I can't imagine growing up around that is healthy."
"My father was a good father." She said. "for a long time, he was a good father. He loves us. He just… He can't get past his prejudices."
"It seems like he likes hating things more than he loves you." Harry said, very blunt.
Elara wanted to be angry with him. To tell him he didn't know what he was talking about and to shout at him for ruining their breakfast. But, she couldn't. He was right. To an extent. "He was good to us for a long time, until the Dark Lord returned. He got power drunk, he wanted to be at the top."
"He made the wrong decision." Harry said.
She nodded. "We all make bad choices sometimes. His were just worse than most others."
"He killed people, Ellie." Harry said. "That's quite a character flaw."
She snorted and shook her head. "You know what makes it even worse? I know he has. I know he's killed to get where he wanted to be, and I still love him. Does that make me bad?"
Harry stared at her for a long time. He could see the heartbreak in her eyes and for the first time he understood. Lucius Malfoy was human to her. He was her father. He tucked her in at night, read her stories, taught her to fly… She didn't see him as the Death Eater that he did.
"I don't think that makes you bad." Harry said. "I think it means you want to see the good in people. Even when there's not a lot of good to see."
"There was good in him though." She said. "For a while. And he did love us. Does love us… I like to think he'll do the right thing eventually."
"I hope he does." Harry said. "For you."
The silence returned, this time the air felt awkward and tense. Harry wondered if he had crossed a line by bringing up the fact that her father was a murderer. He wondered if she really believed what she was saying, that Lucius Malfoy will do the right thing eventually. Harry couldn't imagine a circumstance where he would.
They continued to eat in silence. Elara picking at her danish and eating a bit of fruit but not really feeling hungry. She felt so torn. Harry really believed she was good, and in some aspect, she believed it too. But in light of recent events… The fact that she was here with him now… She wasn't feeling like a good person. She liked Harry. She liked that he wasn't afraid to do what he thought was right. She liked that he was brave and honest. But she hated that she liked it. How was she going to get information from him if she was too nice to use it against him? If she felt so horrible for trying to weasel her way into his life? She may not have the brand of a death eater, but she was feeling like one.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked. "You look sick."
"My knees hurt." She said, covering up her emotional pain with a more explainable physical pain. "When Katie started screaming it caught me off guard and I slipped on the ice and landed on my knees."
Harry chuckled quietly. "You aren't very good on your feet, are you?"
She returned the laugh. "No, I'm not. But I'm a wicked good flyer."
"So, I've noticed." He said. "Well, let me see them then."
"See what?" She asked.
"Your knees." He replied. "Let me see them."
She laughed and then quickly stopped when she realized he was serious. "You're… You're serious?"
"Deadly." He said. "Come on! Let's look at the damage."
"Harry, I have to take my jeans off to show you." She said, embarrassment flushing her cheeks.
"Well… Here…" He stood and promptly began to undo his belt. "I'll take my trousers off too. And we can both be embarrassed."
She laughed and stood up, unbuttoning her jeans. Harry dropped his trousers to the ground and stepped out of them. He stood before her in his red and black plaid boxer shorts and sweater. His socks mismatched.
"You have a hole in your sock." She said, pointing to his toe.
He shrugged. "They're old socks."
She laughed and pushed her jeans down to the floor, picking them up and folding them.
Harry tried to keep his eyes above her waist, not wanting her to feel any more uncomfortable. Tried. But it was as if his eyes were moving against his will and kept flicking to her shapely pale legs and the pair of lilac knickers…
"This is ridiculous." She said, trying to pull her knobby old sweater down over her bottom.
"You really did mess your knees up." Harry said, kneeling down to look at them better.
Her left knee was slightly swollen but both knees were covered with sickly purple and yellow bruising. "Have a seat on the sofa." Harry said, standing back up. "I have something that will help."
She raised an eyebrow at him and sat down, wondering what he would possibly have to help. She stared at him as he walked to the opposite side of the room and wondered if it was odd for a girl to think a boy had nice legs. They were toned and muscular, certainly telling signs of running laps around the Quidditch Pitch. His thighs looked strong and she blushed as she realized she quite liked his bum.
He turned back around, after digging around in his bag. He held a small cannister in his hand. He was smiling as he walked back over to her and sat next to her, pulling her legs over his lap. "Weasley's Bruise Removal Paste."
He opened the tin and revealed a thick yellow paste that smelled strange. "Is it safe?" She asked, feeling hesitant.
"Oh yeah." He said. "Fred and George Weasley made it. They test a lot of their products on themselves and apparently had to come up with something to heal the more stubborn bruises so their mum wouldn't have a fit. They gave me a tin over the summer when I took a bludger to the face…" He scooped a fair amount of the paste onto his fingers and began rubbing it onto her knees.
She winced. "They're quite sore."
"I'd imagine so." He said. "They'll be healed up within the hour though."
He gingerly rubbed the paste in, making sure to cover every bit of her bruised kneecaps. When he finished, he rested his hands on her legs, just below her knees. The silence that swallowed them this time was thick. He had come to notice that silence often befell them. He wasn't upset by it, he quite liked that she didn't feel the need to fill the air with nonsense all the time. He stared off, looking into the fire that was popping and crackling in the fireplace. His thumbs absently rubbing circles on her soft skin. Her skin was so soft. Like flower petals or baby kneazles… And she was humming a quiet tune, her eyes closed, and her head tilted back. He looked at her, she looked content. His eyes slowly trailed from her face to her long neck, then down to the bit of lilac cotton peeking out from her blue sweater and… He felt the rush of blood tug just below his waist and he eyes widened in panic. Aunt Petunia in a towel… He thought, imagining the image over and over until his hormones calmed themselves.
This was a bloody stupid idea. Telling her he'd take his trousers off just so she'd be more comfortable… They were now barely clothed and no matter how decent a person she thought of him… He was still a sixteen-year-old boy.
She pulled her legs off of him and he was thankful for the retreat, but his mind swiftly changed when she got up and walked over to where her bag had been on the floor, bending over to sift through it. He couldn't help but stare now, her ass was practically in his face! And it was perfect. Her legs were curvy and soft, her bum was the perfect size and the bottom of it just peeking out from under her knickers...
Fuck. He thought. Fuck. Put your trousers back on!
He cleared his throat. "I'm er- I'm chilly. I'm going to put my jeans back on…"
She chuckled, still going through her bag. "I don't know why you needed to announce it." She said. "But that's fine. I didn't plan on sitting here without clothes on all day."
He laughed and stood up, thankful she wasn't looking at him as he quickly and gracelessly shoved himself into his jeans and fastened his belt. I wouldn't mind spending the day without clothes with you…
"Here they are." She said, walking back to the sofa after pulling on her own jeans. "I got these for you." She handed him three chocolate frogs.
"Chocolate Frogs?" He smiled.
"They're your favorite, aren't they?"
He nodded. "They are."
She opened a package of Fizzing Whizbees and sat down, crosslegged on the sofa. She popped one in her mouth and as it began to crackle and fizz, she began to float. Just a few inches off the sofa.
"I heard they use Billywig Stings in them, and that's why you float." Harry said, taking one as she offered it to him and popping it in his mouth.
"It would make sense." She said, smiling as he floated a few inches as well. "I've loved them since I was little though. I like how they make you tingle!"
"I certainly never had any candy like this as a kid." Harry said. "All I ever ate was Mars Bars and Crunchies."
"mars bars and crunchies? What on earth is that?"
Harry laughed. "Muggle candy. Mars is almond and nougat covered in chocolate. They're brilliant. Crunchies are like crispy honey bits, also covered in chocolate. Also, brilliant."
"You like chocolate." She laughed. "More than the average person, it seems."
He nodded. "I'm sure my teeth will all fall out from how much chocolate I've consumed. But I'll worry about that when I get there."
"Harry Potter the boy with no teeth." She laughed, floating again as she ate another Fizzing Whizbee.
He laughed and for the first time in months he felt the joy. The smile reached his eyes and his chest loosened. She offered him another candy, which he accepted, floating in the air with a smile on his face.
A few hours had passed, and Harry and Elara were laying on the sofa, shoulder to shoulder, their heads dangling off the edge and their legs over the back.
"Why are we upside down again?" Harry asked.
"I sat like this when I was home, at the Manor… I'd get bored being there alone and in the same place all the time… So, I would hang upside down off the sofa. A change of perspective to switch up the day." She laughed. "I haven't done it since I've been here, and honestly, I missed it."
He smiled at her and looked around the room. The table was now pushed against the wall and rug looked to be above them. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Why now?"
"Why now, what?" She asked, looking at him.
"Why did you come to Hogwarts now? Why weren't you here before?"
"I wanted to come to school now." She said. "So, I did."
"Yes, but why weren't you here sooner? Draco came at eleven, like everyone else. Why did you wait?"
She sighed and slid off the sofa and laid on the floor, her head on the fluffy rug. Harry followed her and did the same. Both of their legs still on the seat of the cushions.
"I get overwhelmed easily." She said. "When I'm around a lot of people."
"Like panicked?" He asked.
"Not exactly." She had spent the last four hours talking with Harry about complete nonsense. Sharing stories about her childhood, talking about their favorite foods and colors. Harry even shared some of his favorite muggle music with her. She had expected she would have to have this conversation with him eventually. She just didn't expect it so soon. But then really, now was as good a time as any. And she felt like she could trust him, he may be a bit of a prat at times but untrustworthy was not a trait of his. "Are you taking Divination?" She asked.
"Divination?" He laughed. "No. That class is a load of rubbish, isn't it?"
She sighed. "Maybe. But there's some truth behind it."
He looked at her, lips pursed. "I'm not sure what that has to do with this…"
"Well there's more to it than just Tasseography and Scrying. Professor Trelawney mainly talks in the terms of two types of Divination… Art and Nature. Art would be using things like Astrology or flight patterns of birds… Nature being things like premonition or clarvoyence… things that naturally occur without explanation. Dreams… Intuition… things like that…"
"Okay…" Harry said, failing to see where Elara was headed with this brief lesson. But being friends with Hermione had taught him that sometimes a background lecture was required.
"Well… There are other types. Auras are a commonly known one... Where people can see colors that correspond to one's being. It basically tells you everything you need to know about a person based on what colors they give off…"
"Can you see my colors?" Harry asked, slightly amused.
"No." She slapped his shoulder. "I'm not Aural. I'm an Empath."
"Empath?" Harry asked, realizing she was being serious. "Like… Emotion?"
She nodded. "I can feel people's emotions deeply. Anyone. I don't have to know you, or even be in the same room as you. And it's not just people that give off emotions. Objects do too. They retain emotions from prior years and it… It's like it radiates off of it."
Harry continued to listen, just staring at her as she spoke. He was confused by the revelation that she was first- into divination at all. He just assumed that anyone with half a brain in their head knew that for the most part it was ridiculous. Secondly- that she would even share such intimate details of herself with him. He supposed not all divination was total rubbish. Trelawney had been the one to give his prophecy… One that currently signed his fate…
"Can you do prophecies?" Harry interrupted. "Can you see the future?"
She shook her head. "No. I don't have an inner eye. I can just tell what people are feeling."
"How?"
"I don't know." She answered. "I've been able to do it since I was young. For instance, you're feeling very skeptical of me right now, slightly amused… Curious, and comfortable."
She hit every feeling he was having right on the head. But he supposed she could tell that from just talking to him. "I don't… Know…" He didn't want to finish that statement. He just didn't know if he could believe her. It seemed very outlandish, especially for a Malfoy.
"May I?" She asked, raising her hand to his face.
"Touch my face?" He laughed. "I guess so."
She pressed her fingers to his temple and closed her eyes. "It works best if I can touch you." She explained. "I can read deeper feelings…"
She concentrated for a moment, getting snippets of frustration and anger that laid beneath the surface. She saw then what she feared seeing from him… Her father, his eyes wild with hate. Her aunt, laughing manically, screaming about killing Sirius Black. The anguish in him. The absolute misery tearing at his soul, bubbling just beneath the façade of a put together sixteen-year-old.
"I'm sorry." She said, pulling her hand away quickly.
He felt his chest nearly collapse with grief. The feelings he had when he watched Sirius fall through the veil… surfaced. "What is this?!" He asked, snapping his eyes wide and scrambling upright. "What- what did you do?"
"I looked under your surface emotions." She said. "When someone has dealt with trauma, they tend to have an underlying emotion, something trying to burst its way through… I could always feel it in you, it's quite loud. I had no idea." She sat up, positioning herself in front of him. "Harry, I didn't know. I'm so sorry."
He sat, panting. His eyes closed as he tried to bury the pain in his chest again. The pain that kept him awake every night, that visited his nightmares. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at her, she was in agony, tears flooding her grey eyes, threatening to spill past the rims.
"It's so painful." She said, holding her chest. "What you feel."
He nodded. "You feel it?"
"Every day. I feel everyone's pain, heartache, fury, happiness… That's why I didn't come. I couldn't come. I needed to learn how to control it before I was surrounded by people constantly. And it's still hard."
"That's why you like to go by yourself? Why you fly by yourself, and walk around alone? Sit at the lake alone?"
She nodded. "I have to be alone sometimes. It's the only way I can center myself. Professor Trelawney has been helping me. She gave me some crystals to carry with me, they're supposed to help absorb the negative emotion so it's not so hard on me. And Snape made me potions to take if it gets to be too much…"
"I'm not sure I'm good for you." Harry said. Suddenly he realized that she was very fragile. That she had to deal with everyone else's shit. She had to feel all of these terrible things from everyone, and she admitted that his were strong. "I'm going to mess up your head."
She laughed. "It's already a mess." She admitted. "At least your honest about your mess."
Suddenly, without thinking, without feeling, he moved forward and pressed his lips to hers. It's what felt right to him. To show her how he felt without burdening her with any more emotion. It was tender at first, their lips lightly grazing and slowly moving against each other's. She pulled away from him and gave a small smile.
"Harry…" She said. "Draco and Blaise are the only students here that know. You can't tell anyone. Please."
He nodded. "I won't."
Honesty again. She was certain, in her sixteen years of reading emotions and essentially being a human lie detector, he was the most honest person she had ever come across. It made her dizzy. It made her feel foolish and childish. But she would be lying to herself if she said it wasn't the most refreshing thing she had felt from someone. His grief, his anger, his curiosity, his joy… He allowed himself to feel it. She liked that about him. She liked him. It was now that she realized she didn't care that she was complicating things. She would figure it out as she went. She had to lie about so much, tell herself so many different things to feel okay with what she was doing. Why should she continue to lie about this? She liked him. He was kind and thoughtful and funny. She liked that she could relax around him, that he understood her need for solitude, for silence.
She'd figure it out as she went. She'd find a way to play both sides.
Draco had told her he wanted her to be a "normal teenage girl" before coming here. He told her he wanted her to have friends and enjoy herself as much as she could. And at the rate things were going, she'd be dead soon anyway. Might as well enjoy the butterflies…
"Will you- I mean… do you want—if you're interested…" Harry cleared his throat nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "d'you erm- do you want to be my girlfriend?"
She bit back a smile. "I think I'd like that very much."
a/n: So, fun fact: I wrote this (and the next) chapter while I was very drunk O_O However, after I sobered up and read through it and edited out some of the millions of grammar and spelling mistypes, I decided I liked it. I really enjoy a sweet but confident Harry, so I think I'll keep that around.
I have to go to work the rest of the week, so this will be the last of the updates for at least a few days! With it being Valentine's weekend, the restaurant I work in is insanely busy and I'll have next to no free time. I'm hoping to have the next chapter or two completely edited and up next week!
As always, thank you to everyone who favorites and follows! Please review and message as well! tell me what you think about the chapter, ask me whatever... I'd appreciate any input!
Until next time!
xo
-Mimi
