Chapter 15: No More

November 29th

Draco rubbed his weary eyes as he tried to refocus his vision on the pages in front of him. The words were blurring together, and his handwriting was proof that he'd gone too long on Pepper Up alone. He wondered if the sun was starting to come out yet, if he should go back to the dorm and get ready for classes. The room of requirement felt empty, despite it's over abundance of lost items. It's rows and rows of trinkets and books and joke gifts… He leaned back, settling against the cabinet as he set his book next to him and sighed.

He should have asked her to stay, he thought. He should have asked Ellie to stay and help him finish the last of these formulas. Double check them with him. She's better with numbers than he is, she would have had this finished by now.

But things had been tense since he and Blaise got into it, since she made public knowledge of her relationship with Potter. Blaise of course, hadn't been an issue. After they talked and came to the same conclusion—get Ellie out as soon as possible—they had been just as they were before.

"Get her out of it." Blaise had said. "Whatever you're doing, you know it's dangerous and stupid. You know you're going to get her killed. She's terrified for you. Finish what you started and then get her out. You owe her that much."

He wasn't wrong. Draco did owe her that much. Afterall, it had been Ellie who delivered the cursed necklace for him—even if Katie Bell had been unable to contain herself and opened the package. It had been Ellie who figured out the connection of the runes to arithmancy in order to create a formula for a charm that may work. It had even been Ellie who was completing the majority of his assignments to make sure he didn't flunk his classes, to keep his marks up for him so that no suspicions were given by his skipping of classes.

She deserved a good life. A happy life. With friends, and boyfriends, and parties and Quidditch matches. She deserved the freedom of not being marked, of not following this blasted family and their old-world beliefs straight into her early grave… To not rot next to their father in Azkaban, which was most likely exactly where he would end up once the Aurors showed after the task.

He leaned his head back, looking up at the high vaulted ceiling. His eyes traced the cobwebs that dangled to the bookshelves. Death wasn't even scary anymore. At least, not his death. He welcomed it at this point. Because what was the alternative? Live and fail only to be killed anyway, or captured and tossed in prison? Live and succeed? To be used as a pawn in an ensuing war that he didn't give a shit about; and to be killed in battle anyway? Live and succeed and then defect and spend his entire life running from both sides of a war he didn't give a shit about in order to be captured and imprisoned or killed anyway?

Imprisonment or Death. Those were his options as far as he could tell. At some point, he was going to face one of those for the things he had done, or hadn't done, and he just wished it would hurry the fuck up and happen. He was just so tired. He didn't care about any of it anymore. Let the muggles take their magic! Half the lot didn't deserve it anyway.

He chuckled out loud to himself. No, that wasn't true. He certainly wouldn't want his magic stolen by muggles and even if half the wizarding world didn't do anything worth while with theirs, it was still theirs to keep. Right. Remember what this is about. We're trying to remind muggles of their place, to make sure mudbloods know that they were not gifted with magic for generations through centuries.

So that they understand… what?

Why did this matter again? Oh right, because of the cross breeding. More halfbloods meant less Pure bloods which meant… Less powerful magic. The eradication of wizards! There it was.

He shook his head. "I'm going completely mental." He said to himself, standing up and straightening his robes. He placed his notes and book inside the cabinet and grabbed his wand, stuffing it into his pocket.

He needed sleep. That was all. He'd been running on Pepper-Up for two straight days and his brain was getting funny from it. He knew the reasons of the Dark Lord's cause. He knew why his family thought it was important to not mix blood. He knew why pureblood was superior. He also knew that he didn't really care. Not anymore. The moment he took the mark, felt his skin melting away to make room for the dark brand, he realized he made a mistake. That he didn't care enough about this "cause" to hold its brand on his arm.

He stopped suddenly when he heard voices, putting out the Lumos he had casted and sunk back into the shadows. It was after four in the morning. Even Filch should be in bed by now… He was almost to the dungeons, if he could just quietly sneak past whoever-

"Shh! Harry! Stop it!"

His eyes shot up, and he craned his neck around the suit of armor he was hiding behind.

"There's no one here. Even Peeves has turned in for the night!" Potter said.

"Yes well, I don't fancy getting detention because you can't keep your trousers zipped."

Draco's eyes widened at Elara's statement.

"You weren't complaining earlier."

Draco crinkled up his nose in disgust.

"Shut up." She giggled. "We've got classes in four hours, I need to sleep."

"Oh alright." Potter finally conceded.

Draco sighed, happy he wasn't about to witness lewd acts between his enemy and his sister. But quickly fell back into disgust when he could hear the sounds of their snogging echoing around the corridor. He peaked around the armor again and saw them merely fifteen feet from where he stood. Potter's back was facing him, Elara backed against the wall. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closely to him. Her hands were tangled up in is pathetic mess that he called hair. They were kissing slowly and Potter pulled away from her and whispered something Draco couldn't hear. She laughed, a proper full face light up kind of laugh, and continued with her giggles as Potter planted small quick pecks all over her face.

She pressed her palms against his chest and pushed him off of her. "You can be quite annoying when you want to be, you know that?" She said.

Harry laughed and attacked her with more kissing and tickles and Draco nearly vomited at the cutesy sight of his sister reduced to girlish squeals and blushing cheeks and-

"Harry stop!" She said abruptly, shoving him away. "Stop. There's someone here."

"No there isn't, Ellie. You're being paranoid. It's after four-

"Shut up." She snapped. "I can feel them."

"Are you sure it's not just the castle? You've said before you get the feelings from the castle a lot and-

"Shhh!" She hissed. "I know this…"

Draco froze as Elara walked closer to where he was hiding. He shrank back into the darkness as far as he could, his heart beat picking up as she closed the gap and looked directly at him. He watched her expression go from suspicious, to shock, to relief very quickly. She put a hand up, signaling for him to stay put.

"My imagination I guess." She said with a shrug. "That's just one more sign that I need to get to sleep." She gave one last look at Draco and then walked back to Potter.

"I suppose you won't let me walk you down to the dungeons?" Potter asked

"And risk you getting caught by Snape? No. I'll be fine. I'll see you at breakfast."

More kissing sounds and then finally footsteps down the opposite direction of the corridor. Draco waited a few moments before stepping out from behind the suit of armor.

"Spying on me now, are you?" Elara asked, arms folded across her chest and lips pursed.

"No." Draco said, straightening his collar and turning to continue toward the dungeons.

"What are you doing roaming the halls at four in the morning?" She asked, following behind him.

"Could ask you the same thing." He sneered.

"Harry and I snuck to the greenhouses. There's a Devil's Snare growing in the back of Greenhouse Five that is producing flowering saplings. Neville and I think it was a crossbred snare with a Flitterbloom since it's surviving in daylight. I wanted to get a closer look at it and see if it was violent at all, but sunlight subdues the snares, so I had to wait until night."

"Swot." Draco grumbled.

"That's rude." She said, smacking his elbow. "Why are you out?"

"Just leaving the room of requirement. Decided to finally get some sleep."

"You've been up all night again?" She asked, chewing her bottom lip in concern.

"Yeah." He said. "I can't sleep anymore."

"I can help with that…" She said.

He shook his head. "I'll be fine." They walked in silence a few paces before Draco spoke again. "He knows about your abilities, doesn't he?" He asked, quietly.

Elara stopped. "What d'you mean?"

He turned back to face her, already seeing the answer on her face. "You told him."

"No. I-

"You're lying to me." He said. "You told him you felt someone else, and he didn't even say anything about it. You told him what you can do."

She cast her eyes down to the stone floor. "Yeah. I did."

"Why?"

She met his gaze again, confusion crossing her features. "Why?"

"Yeah." Draco said. "Why would you tell him? There's no reason to tell him, and you said you'd make him forget if he sees anything he shouldn't. You're walking a very fine line by telling him you have that ability and then doing it to him."

"I told him because I wanted him to trust me." She said. "I told him two months ago."

"He's known for months?! Ellie! You understand that the more people that know about it the more likely it is that it gets used against you and-

"You're the only one using it against me anymore." She said, her jaw set tight. "The only one who throws it up in my face and refuses to let me use it to help you. Besides, it's a good thing I told him! I've had horrible headaches and attacks since telling him—ones you never even bothered to notice. Harry could tell right away there was something off."

"I've got a lot on my mind!"

"And he doesn't?!"

"As far as I can tell the only thing he's thinking about is shagging you! So no, I'd say not!"

She rolled her eyes. "Always back to that." She muttered. "We aren't shagging. Even if we were, it'd be none of your business."

She stomped off ahead of him and he could tell she was irritated. He sighed. "Ellie, I'm sorry. Listen I just- I'm tired."

"So am I." She said. "Did you finish the formula?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'll give it to you to look over tomorrow."

They entered the Slytherin common room and she stopped to look at him. "Let me help you rest. You look terrible."

He sighed and nodded. "Alright then."

Elara gave a soft smile. "Let me change, I'll come in and put you to sleep in a minute."

He gave a quick nod and headed to his own dorm to change into pajamas and get comfortable.

Elara quietly opened the door to her dormitory and checked around to make sure everyone else was still asleep. She changed quickly into a pair of comfortable bottoms and a loose fitting tee shirt and pulled her hair up. She took a deep breath and looked in the mirror after brushing her teeth. She grimaced at the love bites on her neck and said a quick glamor charm to rid them.

She slipped her feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers and padded out of the sixth year girls dorm and quietly opened the door to the boys'. She crossed over to Draco's bed. He pulled the blanket up and pat the spot next to him. She slipped her house shoes off and laid next to him.

"You want me to stay a while?"

"Just until I fall asleep." He said. "If they wake up and I've got my sister in bed with me, I'm pretty sure I would deserve any ridicule I get."

"Boys are disgusting." She scowled. She pressed her fingers to his temples and concentrated, feeling the ache behind his eyes, the fear running through him that kept him awake at all hours, the anger and jealousy… The exorbitant amount of stress and anxiety he was feeling…

She never knew how to explain what she could do. The mental healers at 's had told her it's like picking something up and putting it in a box- metaphorically of course. A type of compartmentalizing that people do in order to cope with things- she was able to force that compartmentalizing. She could pick up the bad feelings and stuff them away.

They never stayed gone for long, she hadn't figured out how to bury it properly, but she assumed with practice she may be able to do it one day. But then, that would mean she would have to practice. She would have to actually work on manipulating someone's head. Changing their thoughts and feelings about and she couldn't bring herself to do that. Helping Draco and Harry get a peaceful night's sleep hardly crossed any moral boundaries for her. But manipulating someone's emotions so that they stayed however she wanted them… Well, she had proven she wasn't very good at that with Katie Bell and she wasn't quite eager to repeat it any time soon.

She whispered the lullaby she knew by heart and combed his hair with her fingers as he finally drifted to sleep. His face relaxed for the first time in months. She felt sad, looking down at him.

She continued humming, her own eyes growing heavy as she stared down at her twin. She wondered when they had grown to be so different. When had he become so cynical? He was always a bit of prat—she was sure he would even admit that himself. But now he was… empty. It was like all of the joy he had ever felt had been ripped from him and replaced with a sardonic shell of who he was.

She couldn't feel sorry for him anymore though. She couldn't feel sorry for either of them, or her parents. Blaise's words from almost a month ago still ringing in her head. Don't be sorry, just stop making excuses for your bad decisions.

It had taken weeks to look at what Blaise had told her and really figure out what she wanted to do. Kissing Harry in the Great Hall was the best way she could think of to prove her choices, to show everyone that she wasn't going to just follow along with what was expected of her because of her surname. She has her own feelings and wants and needs! And then that night with Harry! And every night she had spent with him since! She had felt safety and comfort and peace. She trusted him, and she wanted him to trust her too.

So this was it, wasn't it? She was choosing Harry Potter over her family, over her brother, over the task. She was choosing teenage puppy love and stomach butterflies over life and death situations? She shook her head; she really had been awake too long and needed to get some rest.


"So, this formula is going to do… what? Exactly?" Draco asked, staring down at the formula written in on the parchment in his hands.

"It's going to give us the movements we need to make to the corresponding incantation. Really Draco, this is very first level stuff when it comes to creating spells! You should-

"They don't exactly encourage you to get creative and make up your own spells here, now do they?" Draco fired back.

"I suppose you're right." She said, flipping through her book titled Building Blocks for the Spell Builder: A complete guide of tips and tricks for a successful spell. "I started looking into it on my own at the manor. It's interesting enough, but I never really had a use for it. Glad I kept the books though." She said, skimming over a short article.

"What's the incantation then?" Draco asked.

"Harmonia Nectere Passus." She said. "Based off the runes inscribed on the cogs, that's what I could piece together to use as a workable spell. All that's left now is to see if we can strengthen it enough to allow a person to pass through- which could take some time."

"But we have the incantation and bloody movement patterns! Ugh! This damn thing is making me loony!" He outraged. "We finally get somewhere and then we take seven steps backward! Hurry up to wait!"

"I'm sorry, Coco. I can't make it mend any faster!"

"I know, I know. It's not your fault. I'm just- It's bloody frustrating." He said, running a hand through his hair. "It's nearly Christmas and I'm hardly any closer to getting this done than I was at the start of term!"

"You have the incantation; you have the technique. It's just going to take some time-

"I haven't got time!" He shouted, his silver eyes boldening with anger. "We haven't got time! We wasted what little extra time we had! And now we have to go back to the Manor for Christmas with no results and-

"Back to the manor?" Ellie said. "I'm not going back for Christmas."

"What? Of course, you are."

"No, I'm not. I'm staying here. Blaise invited me to go to his Villa in Tuscany with him, and I thought of that as well… But I think I'm just going to stay here." She said calmly.

"Ellie, you have to go back with me! I can't go by myself!"

"Then don't go."

"What about mother!? She's been there alone for months now!"

Elara shrugged, not quite sure what had tweaked her nerve in the last few days. But she was so mentally exhausted. She was tired of worrying about everyone's feelings about what she did. Gossiping and whispering and pointing and… She had had enough of the drama. She was looking forward to spending a couple of weeks alone in the castle. It wasn't so bad here. She missed her mum, missed her plants… But she didn't love the idea of being surrounded by Death Eaters and having to remain silent to keep up with the lies her family had told.

"So, you're just going to stay here with Potter?" Draco scoffed. "And not come home for Christmas?"

"Harry is going to the Weasley's for Christmas. I'll be staying here with no one. I could use the quiet."

"No." He shook his head. "What are you going to tell mother?"

"That I don't want to be surrounded by Death Eaters for two weeks."

"Ellie do you hear yourself?" Draco laughed. "I am a D-Death Eater." He stammered. "Father is, too! You've always been surrounded by them!"

"And maybe I'm tired of that, too." She murmured, dropping her gaze to her shoes.

"What are you talking about?!" Draco's voice rose again, his impatience very clear in his tone.

"I- I don't know. Never mind."

"Don't you never mind me! What are you talking about?"

"Nothing!" She said, standing up to meet his gaze. "Nothing! Just drop it. Here, let me show you the correct motions for the-

"I don't want to talk about the bloody incantation right now!" He said, snatching the parchment from her hand and tossing it on the floor on top the pile of books they were looking through. "Why aren't you coming home!?"

"Because I don't want to!"

"Rubbish! Fucking rubbish!" He said. "Why are you-

"Because I'm done." She shouted. "I'm done here! I don't want to do this anymore! I don't want to help you anymore. I've given you your formula, I've told you the incantation that should work, I'm giving you the technique! I'm done! I- I want out!"

"And I want to get you out, but I can't do anything until the task is complete!"

"I don't need you to do anything!" She said. "I can get myself out, and I'm going to! I'm taking the opportunity!"

"The opportunity? So, you are just using Potter then? Tried to trick us all into thinking you actually liked the dickhead!"

"I do like him!" She yelled again, her heart thundering in her chest. "But it would be stupid of me to not use the resources I've been fortunate enough to collect in order to get where I need to be! Which is not surrounded by a dozen death eaters or being chucked into the bottom of a lake!"

"Using your resources? That's what you call favor fucking? Was that the deal then? He'll help you escape the evil manor if you let him in your knickers?!"

"For Merlin's sake!" She yelled in frustration and swooped both her hands through her hair. "I'm telling you I'm done. You're the one who was completely against me coming here! Wanted me to have a life and enjoy myself when I got here, remember?! I finally have and… And it showed me that I don't want to be a part of this!" She waved her arms around in front of her, motioning to all the research and formulas they've gone through trying to mend the cabinet.

"Then don't!" Draco roared. "Don't! Go away! Don't come back here to help anymore! I'll be fine on my own, and like you said, I didn't want you here anyway! You're a fucking distraction! I can't keep my head straight worrying about you and your fucking issues! I don't need you anyway!"

She laughed and looked at him with disgust. "If it weren't for me, you'd be sniveling on the floor in a mass of Runes trying to figure out which one will make it work. I did all your dirty work for you! I'm not a distraction to you, you're a distraction to yourself. Too busy inside your own head wallowing in self pity and depression to be productive. You're too scared to do anything that needs to get done for this to be successful and you're blaming me."

"I am not scared of the success!"

"You can't lie to me." She snapped. "You're scared that if you succeed, you'll live and then have to live with yourself and all the terrible things you've done! That you'll be just like father and end up rotting in Azkaban next to him!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Draco roared, the vein on his neck throbbing. "Get out!"

"Gladly." She said. "And I know you enjoy throwing temper tantrums like a toddler when you're frustrated but I'd suggest you smash something other than that cabinet up." She snapped at him, reached down to grab her bag and turned on her heel, storming out of the room.

"AGH!" Draco screamed at the top of his lungs, throwing one of the thick books Ellie had left behind at the door. He screamed again, choking on the force of this voice tearing through his throat. Again and again he screamed, pushing the roars from his lungs and finally collapsed into a heap on his knees against the stone floor.

She was right. He thought bitterly, sneering at the cabinet and smacking the pile of books over. She's always fucking right. He was terrified. He was absolutely terrified of succeeding. Of what that meant. He knew what would happen if he failed. He would be killed. At the beginning of the term, the summer even, he was afraid of that. Afraid of death, of leaving a world behind without him in it. Now? He laughed bitterly as he leaned back against the cabinet and held his head in his hands. Now, he welcomed it. But he was absolutely petrified to find out what would happen if he was successful. What would he turn into? Father truly wasn't that bad of a man, of course, if you look past the murders, blood purist views and general disdain of anything he thought was unworthy… He was a well respected ministry official that had a very large bank account, a reputation of no nonsense business management and loved his family.

That all didn't sound so bad.

But then again, father was now withering away in Azkaban with no respect or family and no access to that fat bank account.

At best if he succeeded… He would be welcomed into the Death Eater's graces and gain retribution in his father's name. He would rise in the ranks and… what? Continue to murder people? Continue plotting to kill for a cause he didn't believe in.

That hardly felt like an "at best" statement. Kill or be killed? He sighed, the cool air rushing from his mouth burned his raw throat. Another shaky breath, and another. He soon found himself gulping for air, hot tears streaming down his face as his entire body shook.


"I need to talk to you." Elara said, bursting into the boys dormitory and looking at Blaise, sitting on his bed, playing a game of exploding snap with Theo. "Please. I'm sorry, Theo-

"No, no. It's fine. Zabini was losing miserably, so I'm sure he's happy for the interruption. Besides, there's a fourth year that I've had my eyes on that should be getting back from her Care of Magical Creature's class any moment."

"Thanks." Elara said, giving a small smile.

He nodded and stepped out, closing the door behind him. Blaise leaned back and folded his arms over his chest, arching an eyebrow. "Well?"

"That's it." She said, pacing around the room. "I told him I'm done."

"You broke up with Potter?"

"What? No!" She said, pausing her strides to look at him. "Draco! I'm done! I'm done, Blaise. I want out. I don't want to… I don't want to become one of them."

He sat up and looked at her, his forehead creasing up in confusion, eyes narrowing. "You told him you're done? Just like that?"

She nodded. "I don't want to be apart of this anymore. I'm tired." She said. "I'm so tired of being scared for him! For my mum! For father…" She whispered sadly. "Like you said, they made their choices. I don't have to follow them."

"What brought this on then? Seems rather sudden." He said.

"I don't know." She said. "I just- we were talking about it- the task. And I mentioned I wasn't coming home for Christmas and he got mad and- and I just decided. I decided right then that I was finished with it all. I want to be the person Harry sees. He thinks I'm this lovely sort of person, and I want to be that."

"You are that." Blaise said. "You've just been made to-

"No." She shook her head. "I chose to come here, to help Draco. I knew what I was doing, I knew what it entailed. I wasn't a princess being held in an ivory tower the last fifteen years, Blaise. I was afraid of what would happen if I left. I was afraid of being anything other than a Malfoy Heir."

"And now?" He asked. "What's changed?"

"I'm afraid of being a Malfoy heir." She laughed. "It's crushing, isn't it? Realizing that everything you've ever been taught or told is… fundamentally flawed."

Blaise stood and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. "I'll help however I can. The Villa is still an offer, for Christmas. Or you can stay at the flat in Rome, or even the one in London."

She shook her head. "I don't know what I want to do yet. I just had to tell you. You're the only one who knows about all this, and I- Draco is going to be… upset."

He pulled away from her and gave a deep laugh. "He's going to be a fucking right prick."

She pursed her lips but gave a curt nod. "Yeah. I'm going to need some help with that."

He nodded. "I'd imagine so. You'd better talk to Pansy too. Let her know you had a bad argument or something, she'll be able to distract him in ways that I absolutely will not entertain."

She scrunched up her nose and grimaced, shaking her head. "Alright. That's enough. Thank you, Blaise, thank you for being a friend to me. Even when I haven't been the greatest to you."

He shrugged. "That's what I'm here for. Besides, how would it look if both Malfoys go completely nutters before Christmas?"

After a quick chat with Pansy, which resulted in promises to keep Draco off her back, Elara sank into the blankets of her bed and stared at the ceiling. She had done it. She had made a decision, she had chosen to get out, to be free of murder, and hate, and death eaters, and torture, and fear… Her stomach twisted in knots and she couldn't breathe through the heaviness of her chest. She did the right thing, for once in her life she made a decision for herself. Why did she feel so bad about it?


a/n: Hello! Thank you for reading! So, this chapter (and im afraid the next one) are both a bit shorter than usual. It didn't really make sense to merge them... But, I'm editing the next soon so it'll be up in the next couple of days. I do have a super heft work schedule for the weekend (back to back doubles blerghhh) but I'm trying to get the next up by monday. Maybe on monday? I don't know-but it'll be up soon.

I've settled on a new idea for a Dramione I will start writing soon as well. Just ironing out some finer plot points. I will CONTINUE this story through to the end as that one is posted though! I may have the firs tchapter up this coming week, but I'm not sure yet.

Anyway, you know i LOVE reviews! So pleaseeee keep them coming! You guys are literally the best. And you make me swoon!

Off to work now! Thank you for reviewing and favoring and following! It makes my heart so happy!

As always, until next time!

xo

-Mimi

(P.S. would you guys be interested in having song suggestions? I notice it a lot on the fics that I read. Sometimes I listen to them, sometimes I don't. Would anyone actually want that? Let me know. if you have suggestions for songs for different chapters: TELL ME! I'll give them a listen and add them in if they fit nicely!)