Chapter 19: Welcome Home

December 21st cont'd


Elara gave Ms. Zabini a small smile as she approached. She had always shown kindness toward Elara and Draco; making sure to foster a relationship between them and Blaise, even if she didn't agree with their family's views. She often had them at her different properties throughout Europe when they were children and was one of the few people who knew about Elara's abilities. She had once confided in Elara that she was well versed in the arts of Divination herself, being a bit of a seer and had always felt there was something they shared when it came to special abilities.

"Buongiorno piccolo fiore." Ms. Zabini said, her red-painted lips curling into a bright smile. "I'm glad to see you are well."

"I am." Elara said, leaning forward to peck her cheeks on both sides. "Thank you for taking us to the Manor. I know you must be eager to get Blaise home for a fortnight."

She waved her hand. "It's no matter. I will have him to myself soon!" She looked lovingly at her son, who returned his mother's warm look with a wrinkled nose.

"I'm sixteen, mum."

"Ah, yes." She said. "But you are at the age that a boy needs his mother more than ever."

Draco sniggered and Blaise shot him a look, giving him a punch to the bicep. Ms. Zabini chuckled and lovingly rubbed the back of Blaise's neck, even as he tried to shake her off.

"You may not know it now but a mother's love is stronger than anything. And I have missed you!"

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Le piante vogliono essera annaffiate, ma non affogate." He grumbled under his breath. Ms. Zabini gave him a disapproving look made a 'tsk-ing' sound and lightly slapped the backside of his head.

"What did you say?" Elara asked.

"Plants want to be taken care of, not smothered." He laughed.

"It's a naughty way of telling me I'm overbearing." Ms. Zabini said, rolling her eyes. She pulled a small purse off her shoulder and rifled through it, pulling out a red velvet bag and withdrawing what looked like an antique broach. "This is the portkey we'll use. I know it's small, but my portkeys are usually only meant for one or two people. Make sure you press your finger to it!"

She held it in the palm of her hand and waited for Blaise, Elara and Draco to press a finger to the jeweled pin. Within seconds, Elara felt the hook behind her navel, suddenly yanking her into oblivion and taking her breath with it. She clenched her eyes shut and bit back the bile racing to her mouth as she spun at a sickening speed. Just as quickly as the sensation began, it ended, and she stumbled on her feet just in front of the Manor's gates.

"The wards have been strengthened." Draco said, feeling the tingle of the anti-intruder magic on his skin.

"You can no longer apparate in or out of the Manor or anywhere on the grounds. Portkey's, even unlicensed, will only bring you to this spot, and the floo is heavily controlled." Ms. Zabini stated. "However, it will recognize you when you pass through it."

"Thank you, Ms. Zabini." Draco said. He shook hands with Blaise. "Later mate."

Blaise gave a quick nod. "See you back at term. We'll be here to bring you both to King's Cross."

Elara made to give a parting hug while Draco disappeared behind the wards, sinking into the Manor's grounds. "Elara," Ms. Zabini said. "I have something for you."

Elara arched an eyebrow in confusion. "Okay…" She said.

Out of the red velvet bag, Ms. Zabini pulled a small golden chain with a tiny golden sunflower charm on it. "You wear this." She said. "It's a portkey, it will only work one time. It will bring you to my property outside of Florence. It is only enough for you, and you alone to travel. If things get to be too much, or you have an emergency… You can use it."

Elara smiled, moving her hair aside to allow the older witch to clasp the necklace on her neck. "Thank you." She said. "I don't think I'll need it."

"Maybe not." She said. "But just in case. You can keep it as long as I am alive."

Elara gave her a hug and then hugged Blaise. "Thank you."

"Be careful, El." Blaise said. "And use the coin. Even if you don't talk to me… at least let Potter know you're okay from time to time."

She nodded. "See you soon."

Elara watched as Ms. Zabini held her arm out to Blaise and with a crack they were gone. She took a deep breath, suddenly feeling very nervous, and stepped through the wards at the gate. The magic was hot and it prickled her skin as she passed through it. She started up the long, cobblestone path to the massive house. Her nerves calmed as she could hear the whispered clucking of the white peacocks as they strutted about the hedges, blending in with the snow and leaving small prints behind them as they moved. She could see the glittering lights from behind the windows and she could smell the crisp floral scent of her beloved fanged geraniums as the breeze kicked up.

The house seemed bigger, somehow, than she could remember it being. Maybe it was being gone for several months, but she felt as if the large pillars and enormous structure would swallow her whole as she entered it. She approached the front door, her hand lingering on the cold brass knob as she steadied her breathing. She slowly turned it and pushed the door open, immediately being met with the sound of music coming from the east wing and the smell of pies and stew wafting through the air.

A loud crack startled her, and she jumped as Nimsy appeared next to her. The house elf's large blue eyes stared up at her as she sniffled her long, pinkish nose. "Mistress Elara!" She said, sounding overjoyed. "How Nimsy has missed young mistress!"

Elara smiled brightly and dropped to her knees, wrapping Nimsy into a hug. "I've missed you, Nimsy!"

Nimsy pat her back looked up at her. "Nimsy has fed Mistresses flowers every day! Even if the flowers are not so nice to Nimsy!"

Elara looked down at the small creature's hands, seeing the small scars lining her long, knobby fingers. "Nimsy! I'm so sorry they've bitten you!"

"Nimsy does not mind." She said. "Nimsy only thinks the flowers are missing mistress Elara."

"Yes well, I'll make my way to the garden in the morning then!" She said, standing and patting Nimsy's head. "Where did Draco go?"

"Young Master is with Mistress Malfoy in the great room!"

"Thank you." She smiled and took down the hall, her footsteps echoing off the marble floor. As she grew closer to the Great Room, she could hear her mother's soprano voice as she spoke to Draco and her heart swelled. She was so afraid to come back, so nervous to be here, but she had missed her mother so much!

The Great Room was lit by the fireplace, crackling loudly and happily on the far wall. Large cream-colored vintage loungers faced each other with an antique table between them. The matching side tables were adorned with large vases that overflowed with beautiful white hydrangeas and their family portrait stared down at her from above the mantel, every face looking proud and pragmatic.

"Here she is!" Draco said, looking up from his armchair. "About time. Did you get lost coming up the walkway?"

Elara rolled her eyes. "No, you prat, I thanked Ms. Zabini for helping us get home."

Narcissa stood, her royal blue robes flowing elegantly behind her as she crossed the room. Her blue eyes were wet with tears as she smiled happily at Elara. "My love." She said, wrapping Elara into a tight embrace.

Elara snaked her arms around her mother's waist and inhaled, exhaling the fear that had built into her chest. "I've missed you!" She said. "You stopped writing and I was so worried and-

"Shh." She said. "Let's not worry about any of that right now. I have you both to myself until after Christmas. We can enjoy ourselves a few days without being worried or scared."

Elara nodded. "You're alright then, yeah?" She pulled away from the embrace and looked at her mother. "You're okay?"

Narcissa gave a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm doing well." She said. "Tell me all about Hogwarts though. I want to hear everything about your first term there!"

Draco snorted. "She's excelling in every subject and spends her free time studying. There, you've heard everything. Can we eat now? I missed the last food trolly on the way back and I'm famished!"

Elara rolled her eyes. "You're quite rude."

"I'm allowed to be. I'm at home. I don't have to be polite."

Narcissa chuckled. "I've even missed your squabbling." She said. "Nimsy prepared supper for us, we can eat and then we'll catch up."

Elara spent the evening talking with her mother, listening to Draco talk about his classes and quarreling here and there with him as he gave incorrect details. She listened to her mum talk about the manor and how things have been since she's been gone—about her plants being upkept and her teas with Ms. Zabini. She felt comforted, being home, sitting in her favorite chair and hearing her mother's voice. But the slight edge of uneasiness that worked its way into the lulls of conversation and the quiet of the night made her queasy. They were tiptoeing around all of the important things, the task, the fact that there was a dozen or so death eaters and the Dark Lord himself using the Manor as their headquarters, father's letter and the meeting after Christmas… And even Harry.

Elara was struggling to come to a decision on whether she should tell her mother that she was seeing Harry. She was afraid what may happen if she tells her, if another person found out that was close to the Dark Lord. "It would take him using Legilemency one time" ringing in her ears… However, she desperately wanted her mother's advice. Wanted to know what she should do, what she should say. Wanted to know if she should tell Harry how she felt, or even tell him the entire truth—tell him that she was in danger, and so was Draco! And see if maybe he could help, maybe he could get them all to safety. He could get Dumbledore to help them, they could find shelter at a safehouse with The Order until it all blew over…

But if they ran, she knew she'd be putting everyone who helped them in danger. The likelihood that the Dark Lord would not find them seemed low and she could only imagine the terrible things he would do to them if they ran and got caught.

Finally, she retired to her room, thankful to have her own space back. A place where she could sit in quiet and contemplate the last few months, process everything she was feeling and figure out what to do once she returned to Hogwarts. As she undressed and changed into her favorite plum night gown, she pulled the coin Hermione had given her from her pocket and felt it growing warm. She looked at it in the palm of her hand, smiling.

I love you.

She stared down at the letters for a long time, trying to decide how to respond. Finally, she sent back two words: I know.


Christmas at the Manor had always been Elara's favorite. Her mother never ceased to fill the place to the brim with decorations and beautiful trees. This year it was different. There was one tree, decorated in the usual silver and gold and only a few other decorations around the home.

"It's difficult." Narcissa had replied, seeing the sadness in her children's eyes when they realized that Christmas was not as joyous this year. "Without your father around to help… With our… guests… It's difficult to feel Christmas Spirit, my loves. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Mum." Elara had said, forcing a bright smile to her lips. "We're together, that's all that matters."

"Besides, who needs all of those obnoxious decorations?" Draco had added. "It's all going to be taken down before the new year, anyway."

Elara could tell her mother was struggling to bite back tears as she hugged them both. "I have gotten you each something, though." Narcissa said, s coy smile on her face.

Draco arched an eyebrow in curiosity and smirked. "Well, let's see it then." He said.

"You git." Elara laughed. "Why does it have to be about the gifts?!"

"It's not!" He defended. "But Mum has already said she's gotten us something! It is Christmas day!"

Their mother smiled again, leaving the room and returning with two small boxes, one for each of them. Draco received a pair of Goblin forged platinum cufflinks with emerald accents and Elara, a bracelet. The bracelet was gold and had diamonds and emeralds set into it. It was dainty, yet beautiful and not at all gaudy. Elara was shocked, the taste of her mother being so different than hers, that as a child, she had dreaded receiving jewelry. But this was beautiful. She immediately undid the clasp and wrapped it around her wrist.

"I love it." She said. "Thank you."

"I have to admit, yours wasn't bought." Narcissa smiled. "It's the first piece of jewelry your father ever gifted to me. I thought you should have it."

Elara smiled, "Even better."

They sat together for quite some time, talking about nonsense, when Draco dismissed himself to go flying for a bit and Elara stayed behind, wanting to talk to her mother.

"Mum… I received a letter from Father." She said, approaching the topic carefully. "He asked to see me."

Her mother nodded, her blonde hair moving with the bobbing of her head. "I'm aware." She said. "Will you go?"

"It didn't feel like I have a choice. He already has everything set up, doesn't he?"

Narcissa's head dipped in a nod again. "He does. But you do have a choice. You don't have to go, if you don't want to. Are you having reservations?"

"I- I'm scared." Elara whispered. "I'm scared of what I'll see."

"Azkaban is not for the faint of heart, my love." She agreed. "Your father has arranged a private visit, in a private room. Only one guard will be present. The dementors will not be around, and will have no knowledge of your presence… The guard was paid heavily for that."

"Why me?" She asked. "Why not Draco? Or-or you? Have you been to see him?"

"I have written him almost daily. But I have not gone to see him, I am needed here." She sighed. "As for Draco… I think you understand the anger and resentment your brother is feeling for your father. It is no secret that you and your father have always had a more… connected relationship, than he and Draco. I think he believes you will be more open to what he has to say."

"And if I'm not?" Elara asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "If I'm not happy to see him?"

"Then you leave." Narcissa said. "You will have control over the length of the visit. The guard has been instructed to escort you off the island at any moment you deem fit."

"What is this about?" Elara pressed. "Why does he want to meet, why now?"

"You will need to ask him." She said, getting up from her chair and crossing the room. "I have a few things I need to tend to. Your meeting is set for ten in the morning, should you choose to go. You won't be able to floo to the island so the guard with apparate here to get you and then bring you back home when you're ready."

Elara watched as her mother stepped over to her and pressed her lips into the top of her head before leaving the room. Elara sat in silence for several moments before the thumping of her heart in her chest deafened her, and she got up to walk to the gardens.

One thing that she had always loved about the garden at the Manor was that no matter the weather, the plants thrived. When she had shown a proclivity for gardening and tending for plants, her father had put a weather stasis charm over the garden. The temperature could be freezing, as it was now, and her plants would still thrive.

Standing in the charmed gardens, smiling as her precious geraniums responded to her touch, she realized her mother was right. She had always had a better relationship with her father than Draco had. He had always done things for her, to make her life better, to ensure than she was able to pursue her interests and to spoil her while he was at it. He had made sure that they spent countless hours together, doing the things she loved to do- like muggle baking and gardening… Things she was certain he hated. She sat on one of the stone benches that lined the flower beds, and furrowed her brows together, lost in thought.

There were several times over the years she could pick out, times that he had treated Draco unfairly for doing nearly the same thing she had done, herself. When Draco took an interest in herbology after his first year at Hogwarts, their father had nearly laughed at him. Told him that no respectable wizard would find himself studying plants.

Yet, he had gifted Elara a grand garden, helping her gain access to any plant she had read about that took her fancy. He would spend hours helping her sort through the saplings and even made sure the weather stasis would remain through the coldest of temperatures. When she took an interest in muggles, he didn't reprimand her. He simply explained that muggles were beneath them, that their way of doing things was outdated and caused wars and death for their people… But he still let her explore the interest.

She wondered why. Why had he always been so hard on Draco, and not her? They were the same age, of the same lineage, and she was hardly stupid. So why did he treat them so differently?

Her mother had used the word connected. Was it that connection that caused him to seek help from St. Mungo's for her when he realized she was different? Was it something deeper than needing to know what was wrong with her? And then when they had found out what she could do, he had never made her feel as if there was something wrong. He had simply accepted what the healer had told him and listened when the same healer suggested to not let anyone know what she was capable of.

She stared into the flowers, her eyes nearly blurring from how intense her gaze had become. She ran her fingers absentmindedly over the bracelet her mother had gifted her, twisting it around her wrist as she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. She finally pulled herself from her thoughts when she felt her pocket grow hot. She pulled the galleon from her pocket and stared at it.

Happy Christmas, love.

Happy Christmas Harry She sent back.

She went to put the galleon back in her pocket and it warmed again. She looked down once more. Good luck tomorrow.

He remembered. Of course, he had. She would be more surprised if he hadn't remembered that she was supposed to be meeting with the Death Eater that nearly killed him and his friends last year.

Thank you She replied.

Are you nervous?

She thought about it for a moment, sighing as she pressed her hand against the gold. Scared.

Don't be. He's just your dad.

He tried to kill you

Yes, but he hasn't tried to kill you

She chuckled, shaking her head and wondering how on earth he could be so calm about it all. She thought about the one thing that had been weighing heaviest on her mind. Should I tell my mum about us?

I don't see why not

He didn't know that they were housing the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord himself in their home. How could he? She certainly hadn't told him. She sighed. She wanted to tell her mother, she wanted her advice on what to say, what to do… But she didn't want Harry to get hurt in the process.

It could be used against you

So let it. She could nearly see him shrugging it off, a lopsided smile on his face.

What if you get hurt because of me?

I could say the same thing

He wasn't wrong. She supposed any person who was barmy enough to be the girlfriend of Harry Potter was at risk of being hurt. Of being used against him. But she wasn't afraid for herself. She was worried about him. She chewed her lip, trying to think of a response.

What if he finds out?

Who? Voldemort? Let him.

Harry, I'm serious.

So am I. I don't care.

He could kill you.

He's been trying for years. No luck.

She shook her head and laughed. He certainly had an insanely humorous view of his life. The coin went hot again, and she looked down.

I love you. I don't care who knows it.

I know. I just want to be cautious.

You don't have to be, if you don't want to.

She held the coin a moment longer, closing her eyes as she shoved it back into her pocket. Maybe he was right. Maybe she could tell her mum, and she'd be able to give her some advice. Maybe she could talk to her mum and then… She could alter her memory of the conversation. She could change what she heard, so she didn't know that it was Harry.

No.

No, she had long since made the decision to not alter her family's mind. It wasn't right. It didn't make her feel good, what she could do if she wanted to. She didn't want to feed into that side of her, to allow herself the temptation of doing something else dark that she wasn't comfortable with. She sighed. She would tell her, talk to her. Maybe she could offer her some advice, maybe she could agree that it was a good thing- that Elara was taking a better path.

Or maybe she'd think you've gone completely mental, she thought. She rose from her spot on her favorite bench just as Draco flew into the garden, landing gracefully and shouldering his broom.

"You alright?" He asked, his face red from the cold air and sounding out of breath.

"I'm fine." She said, smoothing the front of her trousers and pushing her hair over her shoulders. "Good ride?"

He nodded. "Cold." He said. "Cleared my head a bit."

Draco narrowed her eyes at her, watching as she fiddled with the bracelet around her wrist and worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "Stop that incessant chewing. It's a terrible habit. What's got you in a twist?"

She rolled her eyes and huffed. "I want to tell mum about Harry." She said. "Harry says I should."

"Are you mental?" Draco asked, his eyes growing comically wide. "I mean, honestly? Have you completely lost the plot? Why would you tell mother about him?"

She straightened her posture a bit, turning her nose up. "I have my reasons." She said.

"Whatever they are, they aren't good enough." Draco said, his eyes becoming dark and his tone serious. "I know we haven't been seeing eye to eye lately-

"That's an understatement." She scoffed.

He rolled his eyes. "But you can't tell her. You're already treading thin ice with having that coin in your pocket all the time. They may not be here now, but they're coming. And when they do… Any mention of Princess Potter and his gang of imbeciles will have you crucioed faster than you can block the thought from your head."

"You don't think that's a bit dramatic?"

Draco leveled himself and slowly rolled up his left sleeve, revealing his marked forearm. "Does this look a bit fucking dramatic to you, El? Because I'm pretty sure that dramatic is how the Dark Lord operates. The barmy bastard."

She stared down at Draco's arm, unable to tear her eyes away from the singed flesh around the mark. "This is different. Father failed him-

"You think shagging- sorry- snogging the enemy is not a failure to him? Being around Potter has made you just as fucking daft as he is."

"Don't speak to me like that!" She said. She was angry, but more because he was right than the way he said it.

"If you tell mum, you're putting her at risk. You're putting yourself at risk. The entire purpose of you coming to Hogwarts this year was to help. Not to get in the way and make things even more complicated by fraternizing with the enemy!"

"Harry is not the enemy!" She nearly shouted.

"He is to the Dark Lord. You're home now. Remember your place and keep your fucking mouth shut."

With that, Draco walked past her, slamming his shoulder into her as he passed and stormed into the Manor. She heaved a heavy sigh and kicked the cold stone of the bench, yelling out. She never released her anger like this, never felt the need to physically assault an inanimate object, but she was just so frustrated! Between Harry dropping the fact that he loved her on her right before she left to come home, to her anxiety of meeting with her father tomorrow, to knowing that the peace of the Manor was due to be disrupted by a hoard of Death Eaters and their Leader… She just couldn't hold her anger in place anymore.

She had spent years being told she was fragile. That she was too weak to handle being in school. That her mind was too breakable to be around people, to be subjected to the emotions of others. That she didn't have hold enough on her abilities to be able to handle it. She had spent her entire life, locked away and ignored by everyone except her family—and even then there were times she went days without speaking to them, her only friend being a house elf and her plants. She was angry. She was not a child anymore! Why did she have to keep her mouth shut?! Why did she have to remember her place?!

"AUGH!" She yelled out again, her heart beat throbbing in her ears as her eyes watered. She could feel her blood rushing through her veins, the pulsing of the warmth through her body. It was almost too much to handle. She threw her arms into the air and clenched her jaw, she focused on the stone bench, trying to calm her breathing. As her heart raced even faster and her cheeks flushed with the anger she felt, she jumped, watching as the stone bench cracked in half and crumbled.

She looked down at her hands, shaking and throbbing with magic. Staring, wide eyed, at her palms and then looking back at the now demolished stone bench. Did I…? She thought, heaving in deep breaths. She knelt next to the stone and could feel the anger seeping from it; the same way she felt the emotions seeping from the stones in the walls of Hogwarts.

She realized then that she wasn't fragile like a flower. She was fragile like a bomb.


a/n Well, it's just past midnight, so I suppose I didn't get it posted Tuesday. *rolls eyes*

A few things, The last sentence was something I stumbled upon on facebook, I'm having a hard time finding the origin of the quote, but I thought it was lovely and it fit the chapter perfect and I had to use it. So if anyone knows where it originated, let me know so I can put it in here!

"i love you" "I know" a little stroke of my Star Wars loving heart. :)

also- THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH to every single person who reviewed and pm'd me to tell me they hope i felt better, hoped my week got better and offered condolences. Literally, I was sobbing reading them through. The funeral is tomorrow morning (well, today I suppose) and I plan on getting absolutely pissed drunk after it, so I'll probably get some more writing done then. Whiskey tends to fuel my best work.

Let me know how you're feeling about this chapter, I know a lot of it seems like filler, but I promise there's some importance here. I'm going to try to have the next chapter up soon. I usually like to write ahead a few chapters, but I love you all so much that I keep posting as soon as I edit and I have no buffer, so I do appreciate the feedback.

As always, review and follow and know that every time it happens my heart swells with joy.

xo

-Mimi