Chapter 23: Half Truths
February 1st
Draco sat on a chair he transfigured from an old ink well, next to the small bed Elara laid on. His eyes blurred from how long he had been staring at her face. She looked peaceful. Happy, almost. He wondered what memory she was locked into, and hoped it was a good one.
She was dying.
He wasn't sure how he knew it. Snape had told him she would lose herself to her own mind, that she would eventually become completely unresponsive and impenetrable. For now, he said she still had her wits about her. Snape had mentioned that when he entered her mind, she was conscious of her choices, that she could talk to him and would ask him to leave. She was making the choice to stay there and succumb to her own memories.
But her body was failing now.
Draco hadn't expected that. In the wizarding world, it was almost unheard of for the body to fade before the mind did. There were so many potions and charms and even dark magic available to keep a person alive. To ensure that their body stayed even if their minds collapsed. His very limited knowledge of the subject had taught him that usually- when it came to mind magic, the families chose to let the witch or wizard die naturally after an extended time of sustaining them with help of potions and healing charms.
He would not make that choice. He would not allow her to die. So, he had been doing as instructed. Nutrition potions, hydration potions, cleaned her body, kept her comfortable. Talked to her. Sang to her. Read to her. Anything that might make her respond, make her want to come out of this mind lock she was in.
But today, she was different.
He had to force the nutrition potions down her throat, it was as if her body was fighting him. With every attempt to have her swallow, within moments it would seep from her mouth, spewing into her pillow and wetting her hair. Her skin was becoming flushed, as if she had a fever and he could no longer see the fluttering of her eyes behind their lids. His panic had taken hold of him when her face fell into a serene sort-of-smile and he wondered if she was choosing the memory that she would die in.
He felt helpless and terrified. He hadn't worked on the cabinet in a week and he couldn't focus on anything but her. He was drowning in his schoolwork and he knew that if she didn't wake up, it didn't matter. He was going to die with her.
"Ellie," He whispered, petting her hair and reaching for her hand. "If you go, so will I. He'll kill me. But if this is… If this is how you want to go, I understand." He hastily wiped the tears that fell from his chin. "I understand and I won't let them pull you out. I just… I need to know if this is your choice. I need something- fuck." He winced. "Sorry, I know you don't like that… I just… How am I supposed to know if this is what you want?"
Elara sat in the dilapidated chair, the smell of old seawater and mold assaulting her nose as she stared at her father. He didn't speak. Or he couldn't. Every time his mouth opened; no sound escaped his lips. She could see his mouth moving, the gnashing of his teeth and the weeping of his eyes as he spoke, but she could not hear the words coming from his throat.
It had felt like hours that she sat, watching him. She couldn't move, couldn't bring herself to tear away from this memory and move to a brighter place. There had to be a reason he kept showing up, kept appearing in her happier moments as this version of himself.
She could hear Draco's pleas. She could hear him begging for her to hang on, to stay just a while longer, to try just a little harder. To come out of her mind and let him help her. He had made so many promises, promises she knew he would be unable to keep.
He was giving up on her now, as every day bled into night and his worry sank into the pit of his stomach. He was losing hope, he was beginning to grieve. She could feel his sadness, his self-hatred and blame. She could feel his desperation as he asked her if she wanted to die.
She didn't want to die.
She hadn't really been able to follow the days since becoming locked in her own head. She couldn't tell if it had been a week or a year, but she knew time was passing her. Seven days ago, Draco had started telling her what day it was. He would tell her how the weather was outside and talk to her about his classes.
"You've been visiting your father a lot this week."
She startled and turned, seeing Snape standing behind her. "Why are you here again?" She asked. "I told you after last time to leave me alone."
He took a few steps closer to her and gave a short nod. "You did. But I believe I have something of value for you."
She cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "I doubt it."
"It's odd." He started, his low drawl slow and contemplative. "Don't you think?"
"What is?"
"That you choose to spend your dying days in a prison."
She drew her chin up, narrowing her eyes at him. "My dying days?"
"Surely you can feel it." He suggested. "You've been rejecting your nutrition potions. You have a fever… Has the delirium not set in yet? Perhaps your mind is already delirious."
"My mind is fine." She seethed.
"You don't know how you got marked." He replied. "I think you need to know what happened for your mind to accept it. I believe you've locked yourself away because you don't want to face the fact that you took the mark."
She frowned. "I'm marked, how I got it doesn't matter."
"That's where you're wrong."
She looked back to him and stood, pacing to the other side of the room. She leaned her back against the wall and folded her arms over her chest and crossed her ankles. "What are you on about?"
"The mark is dark magic." He began. "Dark magic that binds through to your very soul, branding not only your arm but your being. You have to take it willingly."
She stared forward at him. "I can't die, you know."
"No?"
She shook her head. "I'm wearing a bracelet. It's got a piece of his soul in it." She motioned to her unwavering father. His edges dissolving and reappearing at the memory replayed itself. "I can't die until it's destroyed, at least that's what I've come to reason."
"Interesting." Snape said, stepping closer to her.
"What is?"
"That your father should give you a horcrux disguised as a gift just before you meet with the Dark Lord for the first time."
She could feel her eyebrows knit together in confusion of the term. "Horcrux?"
"Were you under the impression that Malfoys were the only wizards that wish to elongate their life span?"
She slowly shook her head. "You said I didn't take the mark willingly."
"I want you to see what happened." He said. "I think that your mind has brought you in on itself because it can not cope with making the choice to accept the Mark."
"And then what?" She asked. "I see what happened and you just pluck me out of here?"
"With you, Elara, nothing is ever quite that easy, is it?"
She snorted. "I suppose not." She crossed the room and looked up at him, reaching her hand to his temple. "I don't know if it will work in here. I don't know how any of this works."
"You have to try."
She nodded and pressed her fingers to his temples, staring into his beady, black eyes before closing her own and concentrating.
A thousand images swirled before her, their colors running together and dizzying sounds piercing her ears. Finally, the hurricane of images slowed, and she watched the scene before her. Watched as she fell to her knees in silence, holding her eyes to the ground and sinking her teeth into her lips. As she fell on all fours and looked up, opening her mouth to push out a bloodied scream. She watched Draco, sobbing as he trained his wand on her body. She could feel cold fear prickling her neck as Snape's emotions washed her. Fear and anger as he sat, unable to step in, unable to do anything to help. She could feel the bond of his Vow lashing into him, screaming for him to move and stop this from happening.
As her own screams silenced and her body went limp, Draco fell to his knees, scrambling toward her. She could hear the low rumbling of laughter as the Death Eaters watched her brother sob over her body. And then she felt it, a cold fury so unlike anything she had ever felt before. She watched as the Dark Lord stepped toward them, casting Draco aside. He leaned down and with one hand grabbed her limp body by the throat.
"She will disobey me no longer!" His voice hissed, quieting the laughter from the group as a chill settled over the room. She could feel Snape's panic, feel his heart rate climbing as she heard her own weight thud against the table. She watched as the smile crept across the Dark Lord's face, his eyes growing impossibly dark and his wand seared into her flesh.
She could hear the quiet gasps of the Death Eaters around her. She could smell the burning of her skin against her nose, the scent of iron as she bled. She closed her eyes to look away but could still hear the maniacal laughter of the Dark Lord, joined only by her Aunt as she was marked against her will.
She stepped away from Snape, her chest heaving and her eyes wild. "I was completely unconscious!" She said. "How- how was he able to perform it if I was completely unconscious?"
"I don't know." Snape said. "But I do know that the mark is killing you. Horcrux or not, you are going to die imprisoned inside your own head."
He turned around and stepped through the prison cell door and disappeared. She followed him, questions slamming into the front of her mind. As she stepped through the door, she blinked several times, looking around.
She was standing in the boys' dormitory, Draco was pacing in front of her, speaking angrily.
"You obviously can't date the tosser if you have feelings for him! You have to end it, El!"
She stared back at him, watching as he continued to argue with her memory, his lines never changing regardless of the lack of response.
"What are you going to do when the Death Eaters come? How are you going to explain to your precious Potter that you knew? That you helped!"
She crossed the room and watched as memory fizzled and replayed. "How are you going to explain to your precious Potter that you knew? That you helped?"
She watched as it turned on her again, repeating it over and over. Draco's face angry and scared, her own emotions of defiance and uncertainty thick in the air.
"That you knew. That you helped." Pulsing through her head, louder and louder until she was falling to her knees. She crawled to the door, reaching up for the knob and opening it. The scene wouldn't change. It kept replaying over and over, her mind giving her no reprieve, no glance at a different memory. She cried as panic pulsed through her, her hands trembling and her body shaking.
"Stop!" She shouted. "Please! Stop!" She covered her ears, trying to muffle the angry sound of Draco's voice. His snarl as he reminded her of her place in the task. His words shredding through her like nails on a blackboard.
"You helped. You helped. You helped. You helped."
Draco waited, pacing the sitting room of Snape's quarters. He hoped this plan worked. He hoped showing her that she wasn't willing to take the mark would wake her up, would snap her out of whatever personal hell she had put herself in. It was the only thing they could think to do.
The stronger potions weren't helping any more than the first potion he had given her to enter her mind and her body was dying. The fever had become impossibly hot and she had been refusing anything of nutritional value for days now.
It was as if the Dark Mark was burning her from the inside out.
Snape opened the door and crossed the room. He opened the cabinet near his desk and pulled out a bottle of amber liquid and a crystal tumbler. He poured the liquor in the glass and took a sip before turning to Draco.
"Your sister is almost as impossible as you are." He said, his tone low and angry.
"She didn't wake?"
"She's concerned about how she was able to get the mark now, but she did not wake."
Draco cursed loudly and kicked a nearby chair. He stomped through the room, down the small hall and wrenched open the door to the room Elara laid in. He stared down at her, his teeth clenched tight.
"Why won't you just wake up?!" He shouted, slamming his fists down on the bed next to her. He sat in the chair and put his elbows on his knees, leaning forward to look at her. "Why won't you just wake up?" He said again, quieter.
He stared at her for several long moments and then sat straight up as her mouth opened. "Ellie?!" He said. "SNAPE! GET IN HERE!" He bellowed over his shoulder.
The professor stumbled into the room, staring at the bed.
"She's opened her mouth!" Draco said, pointing to her face. "Just now she-
He was cut off as a scream erupted from the depths of her chest, piercing their ears and sending Draco backward from his chair. He tumbled to the floor and looked wildly to Snape, who looked just at perplexed as he did. She screamed long and loud, without taking a breath. Her back arched up off the bed, her chest drawn to the ceiling and when she collapsed back into the cot the screaming ceased.
"Harry…" She croaked, fresh tears leaking from her closed eyes, her voice barely audible. "I'm sorry."
Her mouth closed again, and her body relaxed into the covers as if she had never moved.
Draco looked to Snape, trying to catch his breath and figure out what happened. Snape's eyes were wider than he had ever seen them, and his usual cold stoicism was replaced with confusion.
"What the fuck just happened?" Draco said, collecting himself from the floor and righting the toppled chair he had been sat in. He stood over the cot, staring down to Elara. He brushed a tear from her temple as it streamed into her hair and looked at it, rubbing it between his forefinger and thumb.
"Draco, I believe I know now what will wake your sister." Snape said, blinking several times and turning his stunned face to him. "We need to get Potter."
"Potter?" Draco said, staring at him incredulously. "You want to involve Potter?"
"In order to wake her, I think it will have to be Potter to go into her head and pull her out."
"And when he sees something he shouldn't? When he finds out about the Dark Lords plan—My plan?"
Snape drew in a breath and straightened his posture, adjusting his robes. "Potter knowing your plan is an issue. Your sister dying in that bed is also an issue. I can save her, or I can keep your plan from Potter. Evidently, we cannot do both."
"Save her." Draco said, without hesitation. "Do whatever you have to do. Just save her. I can handle Potter."
Snape gave a curt nod. "Tomorrow." He said. "I fear if we wait any longer, she will not last."
Harry walked to Dumbledore's office, his feet feeling like lead and his head sluggish. The nightmares last night had been particularly violent, and he wasn't sure he could handle an intense night of wading through memories and trying to figure out how many Horcruxes Voldemort had. He was exhausted and the thought of expending any more energy than necessary, made him anxious. He knocked on the door and waited, knowing that Dumbledore was probably there, sat behind his desk, waiting for him.
"Harry, I'm glad you're here." Dumbledore said, a slight smile on his face.
"It's Thursday, sir." He replied. "We always meet on Thursdays."
"Tonight, we will not be meeting." He said.
Harry raised an eyebrow and looked behind him to his office, Snape stood behind his desk, off to the left side. "We won't?"
"No. Harry, you will be assisting Professor Snape with something that I think you will find most interesting."
He doubted that highly. "Snape?" He asked, his eyes narrowing. "What would you need my help for?"
"Professor Snape will explain." Dumbledore said, gently reminding Harry to be respectful. "Off you pop."
Before Harry had time to question the situation any further, Snape had hold of his bicep and was tugging him down the stairs and into the corridor. Harry shook his arm out of Snape's grip and eyed him suspiciously. "What do you want?"
"I assure you, Potter, it is something of interest for you, and something that I would much like to keep private until absolutely necessary."
Harry furrowed his brows and slowing walked a few steps behind Snape. They walked swiftly and Harry felt a strange tug in his gut as they neared the dungeons, taking the path to Snape's quarters. What was going on? What was happening that was so secret they couldn't even discuss it on the walk there? Was Snape involved with hunting the Horcruxes? Did he have information for him? Why would Dumbledore be so unwilling to talk about it?
They entered the sitting room of Snape's quarters and Harry stopped in his tracks, eyes narrowing as he looked at Draco Malfoy. "What is he doing here?" He spat, feeling his hand twitch for his wand.
"Fuck you, Potter." Malfoy hissed. "I've been doing what I can for weeks and-
"Enough!" Snape said, effectively silencing Malfoy and bringing Harry's attention back to him. Snape rounded and looked at Potter, a strange look in his eye he had never seen. Harry wished Elara was here, she could read him and explain what he was feeling, tell Harry what was going on.
"We need your help." Snape said, more matter of fact than Harry had ever heard him before.
"My help?" He asked, incredulously. "What could the two of you possibly need my help with?"
Snape handed Draco a vial and handed Harry one that looked identical. "Make sure she ingests all of it. Hold her mouth shut if you must, but she needs to drink all of it." He said to Draco.
Draco gave a nod and turned on his heel, walking down the shallow hall and disappearing behind the door on the right.
Harry arched an eyebrow. "What is this?" He looked at the potion in the vial.
"Elara Malfoy is mind locked." Snape explained. "She has endured a trauma that has forced her mind to do the only thing it can to protect her. She has been in a coma for five weeks and-
"Coma?" Harry asked, his heart rate picking up. "What are you talking about? What trauma?!"
"That is not for me to divulge." He said. "I have tried to wake her but she has stopped responding to my attempts. We believe that you are what she needs in order to wake up."
"We?"
"Draco, Dumbledore, and I." Snape said, sighing in obvious irritation. "You will drink that potion and then enter her mind and pull her out."
"And how am I supposed to do that?"
"Convince her to wake up." Snape said. "Her body is beginning to fail her now. She will not survive much longer."
"How is her body failing? Have you not been giving her help?! Has she been-
"We've been exhausting every resource to keep her alive, Potter." Snape said. "This is our last effort."
"And if it doesn't work?"
"If it doesn't work, the fever is going to kill her." Harry looked to the doorway and saw a very solemn looking Malfoy leaned against the frame, looking down as he spoke. "She's going to die if this doesn't work."
Harry felt his stomach twist. He had no reason to trust Malfoy. No real reason to trust Snape. But he trusted Dumbledore. He knew that Malfoy and Snape were working on something, he tried to warn Elara that he was worried she was in danger. He was right. He was right and now she was dying because of it. He really wished he wasn't right.
Snape and Malfoy continued explaining her condition, the things they had done and what hadn't worked. He only half listened. Was she here now? She had to be, that would be why Malfoy disappeared with a matching potion. And what trauma had she experienced that put her here?! What put her in this state?
"I must warn you, Potter, you may see things you are not happy with." Snape said.
"I don't care." Harry said, finally looking up from his shoes and breaking his thoughts. "I'll do it. I'll do anything."
Snape set his jaw and nodded. "Follow me."
Harry walked behind Snape and slid into the room. There was a small cot shoved against the wall, upon which, Elara laid. Harry felt his chest tighten as he looked down at her. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, matching the redness of her neck.
"Can I talk to her, for a moment first? Will she hear me?"
"I think so." Malfoy said. "I've been talking to her. She told Professor Snape a few weeks ago that she could hear me. I think that's still true."
Harry had never heard that tone to Malfoy's voice before. He seemed devastated. A quiet calmness holding back weeks of terror and uncertainty. Harry sat in the chair by the bed.
"There isn't a lot of time." Snape said. "You can have a few minutes, but then you'll need to take the potion and enter her mind."
Harry nodded.
Snape and Malfoy exited the room, leaving Harry alone. He stared down at her. Her chest rising and falling in impossibly shallow breaths. He reached a hesitant hand out, slowly stroking her hair back from her forehead. Her skin felt like fire.
"What did they do to you?" He whispered, his heart aching to hold her. "What happened to you?"
He reached down to grasp her hand and immediately pulled his hand away. Her skin of her left arm was scorching. The heat rolling off it as if it were an open flame. He pulled his sleeve over his hand and gingerly turned her arm over, a sickening feeling in his throat.
The Dark Mark was seeping against her reddened skin.
Harry clenched his teeth and dropped her arm, scooting back away from her in his chair. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Not her. Anyone but her! How could she?! How could she have taken the mark?! He stared down at it, his breath catching in his throat. It was warped. As if it were bleeding from her skin and screaming to be free from her.
"She didn't take it willingly." He looked up and saw Malfoy, the look of shame evident on his face. "She didn't want it."
Harry could feel his face pulling into a snarl, wanting nothing more than to stand up and beat his fists into Malfoy's face. "You did this to her." He said. "You made her-
"I didn't make her do anything." He hissed. "I didn't give her the bloody mark! Only he can!"
"How?" Harry asked. "How did it happen?"
"Does it matter?" Malfoy asked. "Are you going to let her die even if it was willingly?"
Harry stared down at her, trying to sort his anger out and took a deep breath. "How does this work?"
"I don't know." Draco said. "You drink the potion, use Legilimens and then you pass out. I don't know what happens after that."
Harry nodded, and looked at the vial in his hand. He uncorked it and downed the contents in one gulp. He grimaced, the potion tasted like lake water and burned his throat like acid all the way until it hit his stomach. He felt different. As if every cell in his body was rearranging themselves and turning to smoke. He pressed his wand against her temple and whispered "Legilimens."
Elara looked around the room of requirement. The plush rug was above her and her blood was rushing to her head as she hung upside down on the sofa. She was smiling to herself as Harry's laughter filled her ears as he talked on about his ridiculous cousin and how afraid he was of Harry and how Harry, admittedly, used that against him from time to time.
This was just before she told Harry about her abilities. Before she let him in and before she admitted to herself that she actually liked him. She wasn't pretending to enjoy his company here, she genuinely did.
She watched the memory haze and fade and repeat, feeling the blood rush to her head all over again, listening to Harry's laugh. Watching the way his eyes crinkled right around the edges as he smiled. It went hazy again and repeated. She waited for the laughter, turning her head when she didn't hear it.
This time, Harry was staring at her, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and his jaw set. She wondered if this would keep happening. If every person in her memories would start to turn into their most disappointed version. Her father had certainly taken over the fond memories she had of him, only appearing to her in his Azkaban form.
Would it happen to Harry too?
"I remember this." Harry said. "This was the day we had breakfast and you told me about your abilities."
Elara tried to sit up so fast that her legs came forward and rolled her over, somersaulting to the floor in a heap. She scrambled to her knees and watched as Harry righted himself on the sofa.
"I was afraid." He admitted. "Of where I'd end up when I took the potion. Snape said he had no control of which memory he landed in. It was whatever one you were in at the time."
She remained silent, staring at him and drawing in quick, panicked breaths.
"Could you hear me when I talked to you? Just a few minutes ago…"
She shook her head. "It's like whispers now." She said. "I can hear it, but I ignored it. I thought it was Draco."
He looked around the room, his eyes landing on the several candy wrappers that were scattered around the floor. "We ate a lot of candy that day." He said. "I'm surprised we didn't get sick."
She chuckled. "You underestimate my ability to eat candy."
His lips twitched, tugging into a small smile. "Can I touch you?" He asked. "In here, can I touch you?"
She stood and nodded. "Yeah. I- I think so."
He stood from the sofa and looked around, watching at the room went hazy and refocused. "What is that?"
"The memory replaying itself." She whispered.
He stepped forward and she could hear the crinkling of the Fizzing Whizbee wrappers under his shoes. He reached his hand out slowly and tucked her hair behind her ear. "They said you've locked yourself in here." He said, his hand resting on the side of her neck, just below her ear, his fingers in her hair.
"I did, initially, I think. But now… I can't get out."
He cocked his head to the side slightly, studying her face. "Can't?"
"My mind won't let me."
"Why not?"
She put her hand over his and leaned into his palm, she slowly turned her head a bit, kissing the palm of his hand. "As punishment, I think." She could feel his skin under her lips as she spoke.
He stepped closer to her. "Punishment for what?"
"I think… I think I have to show you something Harry." She could feel the lump forming in her throat. She grabbed his hand and walked toward the door. "I have to show you. I- I think that's why I can't get out, why I'm keeping myself locked in here… You're going to hate me. And I understand that. Please, please just know that… That I don't want to do it anymore. I didn't have a choice."
She looked at him, his eyes staring at her in blank confusion. She passed them through the door and walked onto the quidditch pitch. She looked around. This isn't where she meant to end up! She wanted to take him to the Room of Requirement, to show him the cabinet. She wanted to explain…
She heard her own voice as she and Blaise carried the trunk of Quidditch gear to the shed.
"It has to be Harry. I need information and the only way I can get it is from Harry."
"You're working for them too." Blaise's voice rang out, filling the space between them. She could feel Harry's grip tighten around her fingers.
"Yes."
"I knew Draco… I saw the Mark. A couple of weeks ago. He was coming out of the showers and I saw the mark on his arm."
Harry looked at Elara, hurt and confusion on his face. As he listened, watching the scene unfold before him.
"I've showed you my arms. I'm not marked."
"But you're working for them." Blaise stated.
She nodded. "It's… It's rather complicated." Harry dropped her hand, staring at her in disbelief. She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to remain calm.
Blaise gave a low, sad sounding laugh. "Of course, it is."
"Blaise, please!" Elara's voice rang out. "You know I can't tell you! You know I would if I could and-
"Would you though?!" Blaise asked, suddenly irate. "Because from where I'm standing, you're just playing a victim while pumping your boyfriend for information. It's not a good look on you, Ellie."
"Ellie?" Harry said, his eyebrows knitting together and frown on his face. Elara looked at him and tried to control her breathing, she closed her eyes as the memory of the conversation continued.
"I don't want to do it! I have to! You don't understand-
"Then help me to understand! You and Draco… You're my friends! You're probably my best friend! And all you've done since you've been here is avoid me or lock yourself up with Draco, doing Merlin knows what! I can't understand or help if you don't let me!"
"You're my best friend too." Elara's voice whispered. "I want out, Blaise. I do. I don't want to be a part of this. But I have to be- for Draco. They'll kill him!" She opened her eyes and looked at Harry, begging him to understand.
"You could get out safely. You both could. Go to Dumbledore! Talk to him! Hell, even my mum would help you!"
"It isn't that simple!"
"It is that simple!" Blaise argued. "I've been able to stay out of it! Millicent and Theo… Theo's dad is even marked, and he's been able to keep out of it!"
"I can't just walk away so easily!"
"Can't or won't?" Blaise asked, folding his arms over his chest and staring down at her.
"My parents…They've already moved into the Manor. Mum is there by herself… I can't just leave her."
Ellie could feel the tears spilling over her eyes, running down her cheeks as Harry looked away from her. He looked disgusted, angry, and hurt.
She winced as the memory began to repeat itself, Blaise's voice cutting into her like knives. "Harry…" She said. "Please I-
"I was a task for you?" He asked. "All the conversations we had, all the time we spent together… That was so you could gain information to give to the Death Eaters?"
"No!" She said, gasping as a sob threatened to escape. "No! It- it started that way. When you helped me when I hurt my ankle… I-I knew that you weren't what I thought you were. I thought… I don't know! I thought I could do this! I thought I could-
"You could what, Ellie?!" He yelled, turning around and placing his hands on his hips. "What did you think you could do?!"
She looked up to the sky, begging for an answer that would make sense to come to her. "I don't know!" She cried. "I- I realized that I liked you. I liked you too much to do that to you and I stopped! I-I quit helping Draco with information and I stopped-
"And he's marked! He's marked and I fucking knew it! I knew he was! And I knew you were just as bad as the rest of your family and I-
"I'm not!" She cried, sobbing as she held her chest. "I'm not Harry! Can't you see?! I'm dying because my body is rejecting the dark magic! Did they not explain that to you?! I'm dying because I don't want to be like them!"
"But you used me anyway!" He shouted, his face red with anger. "You used me Ellie!"
"I know!" She shouted back. "But- Harry! What was I supposed to do?! They're in my home! They've tortured my mother! They tortured Draco! They tortured me! What was I supposed to do?!"
"Tell someone!" He roared. "You should have told me! I could've gotten you out! You don't have to do bad things! It's black and white, Ellie! You made the wrong choices!"
"It's not always black and white, Harry!" She screamed, her voice shattering through her anger. "It's not always light and dark! Sometimes—sometimes there's grey area! Sometimes you have to stay in the grey area to survive! I just wanted my family to be okay! I just wanted to-
"They don't deserve it!" Harry snapped. "They've all made their choices! They all chose to follow Voldemort! You didn't have to!"
"And then what?" She asked. "Let my parents be killed? Let Draco be killed?"
"They made their beds, Ellie." He said, looking at her in disappointment. "They made their beds and they'll have to lie in them. And now you will too."
She gasped as her chin trembled, watching Harry's eyes fill with tears he was fighting to hold back. "I love you." She whispered. "You know? I do. And I think I couldn't say it back because I- I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know what it was to love someone because everyone feels it differently. It's the only emotion that doesn't make sense to me. I figured it out while I was being crucioed on the floor of my dining room. When I closed my eyes and you were the only thing I could see. And I'm sorry, Harry."
"You don't use the people you love, Ellie." He said, his voice sounding weak and sad. "You don't begin a relationship on lies and then suddenly get to decide it's love."
"It was real for me." She said. "It wasn't sudden. I knew from the first moment I looked at you in Madam Malkin's. It's always been real for me. Just as real as it was to you."
He shook his head. "It's not the same thing. I trusted you. I told myself that my instincts were wrong. That I was being paranoid because of your name."
"You hated me." She said. "You hated me for no reason and-
"Obviously it wasn't for no reason!" Harry said. "I should have listened to my intuition."
"I thought intuition was a load of rubbish?" She asked, trying to ease the tension with a terribly timed joke.
"Not in this case." He said. "Not with you."
They were silent, listening only to the sound of Blaise yell angrily at Elara. The memory going hazy and repeating. Elara took a few steps, closing the distance between herself and Harry. He looked down at her, his eyes hard with betrayal and anger. She cupped his face in her hands, stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his. She put everything she had into the kiss, pushing all her emotions forward, desperate to get him to understand.
She was in prison. That's why her father kept appearing as her last memory of him. She was locking herself away into a prison—where she felt she belonged. She hated herself. She hated what she had been doing, how she had been lying to further something she didn't even believe in. It had been selfish. It has been selfish and wrong.
Finally, his lips moved under hers and he kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his chest. She felt the tips of her fingers grow wet with his tears and finally, he pulled away, leaving a small peck on her lips as he did. He put his chin on top her head and held her as close to him as he could, her hands snaked around his waist she squeezed him back.
"I don't know what to do." He said. "But I've spent weeks worrying about you. And I will not let you die here."
a/n: Gasp! Finally!
What do you all think? How did you like this chapter? You can REVIEW it! Tell me your thoughts! I try to write back, especially if you ask questions or have theories. And I love a review! They make my heart sing!
I know there's been a lot of build up on how she would tell Harry. And I also realize she omitted quite a lot in her little confession. Cut the girl some slack, yeah? She's still a Malfoy. :)
I hope you all enjoyed it! I'm finally back to being ahead on chapters! Woo! So posts will be coming pretty frequently now. At least, while I'm still out of work they should be. It's not like there's anything better to do than sit at home and write!
You should know that my story has again, changed gears a bit over the next several chapters. I've decided to go ahead and extend it through the battle of Hogwarts, so I have to change a few things up to get to that point. It may not all be released under this story either. I've been considering making the 7th year its own sort of thing just to give a break in the chapter load. Who knows. I may not. I'll decide that when the time comes, right now we're still pretty far from it.
Kind of.
Anyway, Please review and follow! Thank you to everyone who does, seriously! It's so awesome!
xo
-Mimi
