Chapter 24: Lion's Heart

February 3rd


Harry sat in Potions, copying the notes from the board as Slughorn spoke and trying not to focus on the fact that he had no idea if Elara was okay, or even alive, right now. He thought he had been successful. He hoped he had been successful. But when he exited her mind and realized she did not wake up with him, his heart sank.

She had lied to him. Manipulated him. Played him like a violin in order to gain information. He should be angry with her. He should hate her.

But he couldn't.

He waited for an hour after exiting her mind, staring down at her with bated breath. He wanted so badly to scream at her, to shake her into existence. To cry and yell and tell her how hurt he was. But all he could do was stare at her in silence. He was dismissed by Snape and as he left the room, he heard Draco Malfoy's sobs from beside her bed, begging his sister not to die.

Harry didn't know what he felt at this point. He felt betrayed, he knew that for sure. He felt heartbroken that she had lied to him, that her initial relationship with him had been built on lies and half-truths. But the more he thought about it, the less angry he was. She had shared far more secrets with him than he had with her. She had trusted him with her abilities, to tell him something so personal and something that almost no one knew about her. She loved him. He could feel it when she told him, when she kissed him in the memory of the Quidditch pitch.

That had to be real.

"You all right, mate?" Ron asked, nudging Harry's elbow.

"Yeah." Harry said. "Yeah, just knackered."

"You look it. Nightmares again?"

"Something like that." Harry said, flipping through his Potions book and reading some of the scrawled notes the Half Blood Prince left behind.

Harry stared into his book, the text on the page melting together and blurring into nonsense. His chest ached. Elara had been the brightest star in his sky this year. She had made him feel like he was needed. Like no one else could do for her what he did. Was that all true? Was that feeling true? His hand tugged at the beaded neckless around his neck, twisting the crystal beads between his fingers. He had tried to help her, tried to keep her mind right when she fell apart. That couldn't have been and act. She had needed him in those moment, more truly than anyone ever needed someone else on their side.

But what if she was still lying? What if that wasn't the whole truth? What if she was still trying to protect herself? Protect Draco? It was clear that she did everything she could to keep her family as safe as possible, what if she continued to lie? She loves me. She's not going to keep lying to me. She wouldn't have come clean if she were going to keep lying.

But she was on her death bed. Maybe she had no intentions of coming clean. Maybe that was the only way she could die peacefully and-
No. She wasn't going to die. Harry was sure of that. He would reach into her head every moment of every day to keep her alive if he had to. She had to live. Even if she was betraying him. Even if she was a Death Eater willingly, he wouldn't let her die. Because even if she was lying to him about loving him, he loved her. And he wasn't one to just sit around and watch people he loved die. Not if he could help it. He had lost so much; he wouldn't lose her too.

After what felt like an eternity, Slughorn dismissed the class and Harry walked with Ron and Hermione to the Great Hall.

"Malfoy's missed almost all of his classes since term resumed, have you noticed?" Hermione said. "Curious, isn't it?"

"Probably skiving off." Ron said. "He doesn't seem interested in lectures this year."

"He looks different now." Hermione continued. "Sad, almost."

"You care about how the ferret looks?" Ron asked, laughing.

"No." She said. "Just an observation. Harry, what do you think?"

Harry pulled himself from his thoughts and shook his head. "I guess I haven't really noticed." He said, the sound of Malfoy sobbing over his sister's body reverberated around his head.

Harry took a seat at the table, his back to the entrance of the hall. He grabbed a plate and filled it with a few items he thought he'd try to pick at, but he wasn't feeling very hungry these days. The thought of eating made his stomach churn in a nauseating way and he set the plate down and reached for a goblet, taking a few sips of water.

"I came across an old book of muggle fairy tales that I've had since I was a child." Hermione said. "I was considering owling it to Elara. I'm not sure if they'd let my owl through to the Manor, but I think she'd appreciate The Brothers Grimm."

"Sounds nice, Hermione." Harry mumbled, knowing there was a good chance Elara would never open any book again. "She would really like that."

"You should try writing her." Ron said. "Send it with Pig and don't sign it. That way they can't trace who it came from."

"I'll try that mate, thanks." Harry said, trying his best to give a small smile.

They didn't understand. He knew they were trying to be helpful, but they didn't understand. While they made plans to send her letter and gifts, he knew she wouldn't see them. Not because they wouldn't be delivered, but because she was dying in the dungeons and no one knew. He wondered what would happen if she died. Would they bury her? Would they have a funeral? He had never been to a wizarding funeral, he wasn't sure what they entailed.

He clenched his eyes shut and sniffled as a sudden wave of tears threatened to spill onto his sandwich. He couldn't get upset here. No one knew what was going on and if he-

"Ellie."

Harry looked up, at Hermione. "I know you guys miss her too, but could you stop talking about her for a while?" He hoped he didn't sound too sad or angry, but he just needed a topic change, anything to get her off his mind. "Ron did you hear about the new Quidditch line at-

"No." Hermione interrupted, pointing behind Harry. "Ellie! Harry, Ellie! She's here!"

Harry furrowed his brows and looked at Hermione a moment, wondering if this was a cruel joke. Her face was lit up in a smile as she offered a kind wave. Harry looked over his shoulder and his heart stuttered, skipping several beats and causing him to nearly choke on his own breath.

Standing at the Slytherin table with Draco by her side, she was leaned over Blaise Zabini's back, hugging him around the neck from behind and laughing in his ear. Harry quickly turned his entire body in his seat, planting his feet to the floor, not trusting his vision.

She finally looked up and caught Harry's eye and a bright smile spread across her face, stretching from ear to ear. She stood up straight and then pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, her silver eyes still glinting, and she raised her right hand and gave a small wave.

Harry couldn't remember a time in his life that he had moved so fast on his own two feet. He sprinted over to her, nearly hurdling over a couple of first year Ravenclaws that were in front of their table and pushed the Slytherins out of the way. He heard Malfoy as he cursed at him and blocked out the snide remarks coming from other students as he wrapped his arms around her in a crushing hug.

He held onto her tight, afraid that if his grip loosened, she would disappear into ash.

"Harry." She whispered, laughing under her breath. "Harry, love, you're crushing me."

"I know." He said, loosening his grip slightly. "I know but I- I… Fuck. You're okay?"

She nodded into his chest, wrapping her arms around him. "Tired." She said. "Oddly enough. But I'm okay."

His hands flew up to her face, gripping her jaw and pulling her lips to his. He kissed her feverishly, right there in the Great Hall, in front of everyone, standing at the Slytherin table. He kissed her as if he would never kiss her again.

"Oi! Get a room!" He heard someone shout.

She laughed into his mouth and pulled her head back away from him. "We have a lot to talk about." She said. "Finish your lunch and we can talk."

He shook his head. "I'm not hungry." He said. "I'm not hungry. Let's talk now."

"Harry." She said, looking up at him seriously. "Finish your lunch, okay? I'm not going anywhere. Go sit with Ron and Hermione. We'll skip next class and talk."

He looked down at her, his thumbs rubbing her cheeks. "Okay." He said. "Okay, fine. Yeah." He pecked her lips a few more times and let go of her and slinked back to the Gryffindor table, sliding into his spot between Ron and Neville.


Elara sat down between Draco and Blaise, smiling sheepishly.

"Leave it to a Gryffindor to make a scene." Blaise said, rolling his eyes.

She pursed her lips and sipped the Cranberry juice from her goblet. "He didn't know I was coming back-

"None of us knew." Pansy said. "And we didn't act like that."

"I'd be concerned if you had." Elara said, smiling as the surrounding Slytherins laughed.

She listened to them all talk about their classes since term resumed, hoping she wouldn't be too far behind and she would be able to get caught up in a fair amount of time. She was thanking her stars that she had enough sense to do all of her holiday work before the holidays began, so she wouldn't be quite as far behind.

She stared down at her plate, not feeling very hungry but knowing she should eat. She hadn't eaten an actual meal in well over a month and she could tell her body needed it, but the thought of food made her grimace. She felt numb inside. The joy she had felt upon seeing Harry sprinting toward her was real. But it died away almost instantly. She felt completely numb. Like her abilities had been shut off and she couldn't feel anything around her or inside of her. She couldn't even feel the hunger that she knew she must have. She didn't feel the exhaustion she told Harry she had. She felt nothing.

She was concerned about that.

Had being mind locked for so long smothered her abilities? She had been trying since she woke to use them, and she felt nothing. Nothing but her own self-hatred and despair. She had spent the last few hours in Snape's quarters with Draco. Snape had left to teach his classes shortly after Elara woke, and he had given Draco permission to use any of the potions she needed, to use any of the facilities and to stay as long as she wanted. She was thankful for that. She wondered if anyone else knew how generous Snape could be, or if he insisted on hiding the best parts of himself from everyone.

Draco kept his arm around her as they sat at the table. He didn't eat, just looked at her every few seconds as if she would drift away if he let go of her. She listened to Pansy prattle on about the start of the new term and all the gossip she had missed.

Draco was crying when Elara opened her eyes. He was sitting in a chair next to her cot, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. She had seen him cry so frequently this year, so much more than she had ever seen him cry before. She realized then, that while she could physically see his sadness, she could not feel it. He had helped her out of bed, taken her to the loo and helped her bathe. She felt weak, her muscles unused for so long, she could barely stand on her own. As she sat in the clawfoot bathing tub in Snape's bathroom, Draco collected a handful of potions to help her. A pepper-up, several healing and nutrition potions, something to help with her muscle aches… He washed her back and helped her wash her hair. She should have been embarrassed. She was sure he hadn't seen her nude since they were bathed together as very small children, but she didn't care. She was too weak to do it on her own and he was careful not to humiliate or hurt her.

He helped her out of the warm water and wrapped her in a towel, leaving her to sit on her cot as he went to her dorm to collect some clothes for her. She had still been wearing the plum colored dress she wore the day she visited her father. She stared at it, crumpled on the floor, feeling nothing but hatred for the garment.

She looked down at her left arm, staring at the mark that had been burned into her skin. When Draco had returned with clothes and her wand, she promptly set the plum dress on fire, watching it turn to ash before she allowed Draco to help her get dressed.

"I want to go to the Great Hall." She said, looking at the clock. "It should be lunch and I want to see everyone."

"Are you sure?" Draco asked.

"I need to see everyone." She said and took his arm and let him help her to the Great Hall. To her friends. To Harry.

Now, as she sat amongst them all, she couldn't feel anything for them. She could feel nothing besides the burning of her arm beneath her robes and the pressure of her brother's arm, draped around her.

She had felt Harry though. The desperation in the crushing hug he swept her into, the fervor in the kiss he placed on her lips. He had been terrified, and he let it melt off his skin, straight to the floor as he held her. She could feel that much.

The Hall slowly began to clear out. Several of the students she knew from her classes stopped by the Slytherin table to say hello, to tell her how happy they were to see her, to say they had missed her. Several of the Slytherins sneered or wrinkled their noses up, but they remained silent, they let her have the attention, even if it came from Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors.

She wondered who knew about her condition. Wondered if Draco had told anyone aside from Harry. Did Blaise know? Would Draco have worried Blaise like that? Would he have told Blaise how he was forced to torture her? How he was forced to crucio her to unconsciousness in front of their mother while a dozen Death Eaters looked on?

Finally, Harry passed the Slytherin table with Ron and Hermione.

"I'm glad to see you're back!" Hermione said, a smile on her face. "I have a book for you, if you want it. And you're welcome to use any of my notes to get caught up in classes."

Elara pushed a smile to her lips. "Thank you, Hermione. That would be lovely. I'm sure we can meet in the library in a few days?"

She nodded. "Of course! Whenever you're ready!"

"Really glad you're back, Ellie." Ron said, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Harry was driving us mental. See you later, yeah?"

"See you later." She smiled.

Ron and Hermione left the Hall and Harry stood, looking her over, his brows pulled together in a crease of concern. "Are you…I mean… Do you… Are you able to talk now?" He stammered.

She looked to Draco and Blaise, both of them staring back at her. Draco looked as if he wanted to say something but held back. "If that's okay?" She asked Draco. "I would like to talk to Harry."

Draco gave a nod and stood before taking her elbow and helping her up. "She's still weak, Potter." He whispered, furiously.

Harry nodded, wrapping an arm around Elara's waist and helping her shuffle out of the Hall. She could feel Draco and Blaise's eyes on their backs, watching them as they exited.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked.

"Let's go to the room of requirement." She said. "It's the most private."

He nodded, grasping her hip with one hand to steady his grip on her. Painstakingly slow, they made their way up the seven stories to the Room of Requirement. Harry barely spoke, aside from asking her if she was okay and telling her to watch her step. She wondered if he hated her.

That kiss didn't feel like hate.

When they entered the room, it was the familiar room she had been in with him several times over. Fireplace, plush rug, sofas, flowers… She breathed in the floral smell and felt her heart clench at the scent of broom polish and treacle. The sweet and woodsy smell she hadn't realized had been missing from her for so long.

"This is going to sound absolutely nutters," Harry said. "But I missed the way you smell."

She gave a soft laugh and nodded, making her way to the sofa with him. "It doesn't sound nutters." She said. "I've missed how you smell too."

"Elara I-

She held her hand up to cut him off. "Harry, I need to tell you something first please. And then, then you can say anything you need to say to me."

He turned his body to face her, folding his leg up under himself and propping an elbow on the back of the cushions. "Okay." He said. "Go on."

She wringed her hands together, staring at her fingers and trying to count her breaths. "I know that you're angry with me. I know that I lied, and I betrayed you. I know you have no reason to believe me… But… I didn't want you to get hurt. I never wanted you to get hurt. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. You have been… You are so incredible, and I don't deserve you. I don't deserve the light you shine."

She took a deep breath and turned slightly, looking up into his eyes. He was staring back at her with a curious sadness. "I understand if you… if you can't love me anymore. If you can't be with me anymore."

She closed her eyes briefly and looked back into her lap, she began pulling a small string that hung from the hem of her skirt and took deep breaths, waiting for him to shout at her. She felt him move and she knew he was getting up to leave, to walk away and not look back.

It's what she deserved.

When she opened her eyes, shining emeralds behind round lenses stared up at her. He was on his knees before her, looking up into her face. He took her hands in his and studied her for a long moment. She wished her abilities hadn't escaped her. She wished she could feel something aside from the burning of the mark on her arm. He was beautiful. His eyes shining pools of sparkling emerald and his messy black hair sticking up in every direction. She wished she could feel more than the detachment she was experiencing. She wished she would have told him sooner, that she loved him. That she thought he was the brightest shining star in the galaxy.

His finger curled under her chin and he drew her face to his. "You know," He began, his eyes searching hers. "I thought I was angry with you. When I left you on that bed in that room, I thought I was angry that you had lied to me."

She closed her eyes, feeling the prickle of tears as they built up behind her lashes.

"But when I saw you in the Great Hall… I forgot why I was angry. I forgot that I felt betrayed. And all I could see was you. All I could think of was how could I get to you." He placed his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her face closer to his. She could feel his breath hit her face as he spoke, the brushing of his lips on hers. "I don't care what you've done. I don't care. You're alive. You're here. And I can't just stop being in love with you."

She opened her eyes and stared back at him, no words to say. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, tenderly at first. He kissed her back and moved from his crouched position in front of her, moving back to the sofa and pulled her lips into his further. She broke the kiss to climb onto his lap, straddling his waist and sitting on his thighs as he leaned into the back of the sofa. He pulled her back to him, one hand cupping her neck just below her ear and the other hand pressing his fingertips into her jaw.

He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past her lips and moving it in rhythm with her own. She sighed into his mouth as the silky feel of his tongue finally made her feel something past the numbness. She felt electricity. The same electric charge she felt the first time she saw him in Diagon Alley, the first time she kissed him in the hall outside of McGonagall's office. She twisted her fingers into the back of his hair, pushing her chest flush against his.

She panted as he pulled away from her, trailing languid kissed down her neck and wrapping his arms around her back, pulling her close to him. She rolled her hips against his, desperately wanting to be closer to him, to feel the electricity light her up from within. She needed it. She needed to feel something, anything, aside from the numbness she had felt since she woke.

"I need you." She breathed, pulling his face away from her neck. "Harry, I need you."

His eyes flickered back and forth, looking at her and he leaned in and kissed her lips again, tugging her bottom lip with his teeth and slipping his silky tongue back through her mouth. She moved her hands, fingers trembling to the buttons of his shirt, undoing each button as quickly as she could.

"Are you- we haven't.." He trailed off, pressing kisses into her neck as he untucked her shirt from her skirt and shoved his hands up the front of it. She had never been so happy with the decision to forgo wearing a brassiere in her life.

"I don't care." She said, rubbing her hands over his chest, pressing her lips down the side of his face and into his neck. "I need to feel you now, Harry. Now."

He looked at her, his eyes dark with lust and his breathing staggered and panting. "I've never- I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." She said. "Please."

He slipped his hands under her skirt, squeezing her bum as she rocked forward. She pulled off her tie and threw it onto the ground, unbuttoned her own shirt and then leaned forward, pressing her lips onto Harry's collarbone and chest. He groaned and slipped one hand into the front of her skirt, dragging his fingertips over her knickers and then he pushed them past the elastic, moving the fabric aside. She moaned as he traced her folds, pressing deep kisses to her throat as he slipped a finger into her heat, stroking her from the inside and tracing his tongue along her collar bone.

Her hips rocked, jumping forward to his hand, begging for more and she felt his hardness under her, pressing into her thigh. She reached down, undoing the buckle of his belt and swiftly unbuttoning his trousers. She slipped her hand into his shorts, giving his length a few long strokes before pulling it out of the confines of the fabric.

"You're sure?" His voice husky.

"Yes." She breathed, pressing her lips to the side of his neck.

She pushed herself up on her knees, as he pulled his fingers from her depths and placed his hands on her hips. She settled over him, feeling him pressing against her entrance, slowly, she lowered herself onto him. She winced, taking in a sharp breath as he filled her.

"Are you okay?" He breathed.

"Yeah." She said, clenching her teeth for a moment. "We just have to be slow at first, okay?"

He nodded, his chest heaving as she rested herself on him, taking all of him into her. She waited a moment, letting her body adjust to the feel, and then she slid up again, moaning loudly as he slid in and out of her. She rocked her hips, grinding against him and felt her mouth go dry as a low groan escaped his throat. Her head lolled back as Harry pressed kisses against her chest, moving his hips in rhythm with hers. After a few minutes she adjusted to him, the feel of being full and the energy that seemed to radiate from both of their bodies.

She began rocking her hips faster, marveling at the feel of him, of his fingers pressing into the skin of her back, his breath against her neck as he kissed her with need, the clammy feel of his shoulders under her hands as she used them to anchor herself. She ground her hips on his over and over, Harry thrusting from beneath and groaning incoherent words into her ear.

She could feel the tension building, burning behind her navel and begging for more. "Harry…" She pleaded, needing more. He looked up at her, is eyes searching her face and locking in on hers. She could see it in him, the electric charge of a thousand galaxies swirling through him as he pumped it into her, filling her with energy, banishing the numbness. One hand slipped back to the front of her, caressing her breast before trailing back down to her heat, pressing strokes against her pearl. A high-pitched moan she had never heard from her throat pushed through her lips and Harry buried his face into her chest, pulling her closer to him, kissing and nipping at her breasts as she cried out.

She yelled his name again, twisting her fingers into his hair and feeling his glasses knock sideways against her as her thighs shook and he panted heavily against her. It was almost too much. The feeling of him giving himself to her like this, of her doing the same. She didn't know what had come over her, she just needed to banish the numbness, the quietness of her mind that she had never felt before. She clenched her jaw as she felt the tension behind her navel building, threatening to spill over and consume them both.

She grabbed his face, pushing her finger to his temples and praying her abilities would work. He needed to see it. He needed to see that her feelings for him were real. As real as what they were doing right now, as real as the hair on their heads and the beat of their hearts. He looked at her, quizzically at first, and then a loud groan pulled from his lips as he sank into her again.

"Harry I-

"I know." He panted, staring into her eyes. "I know."

His thumb swiped around her over and over as he bucked into her, as she ground down to meet him and she moaned loudly. She kept hold of his face, begging him not to look away. She needed him to see her, she needed him to understand how sorry she was. How she had done what she thought she had to. How she wanted to be brave and tell him, to be brave like him. But she had expended all her bravery before even arriving at Hogwarts. She had used it all up when she agreed to come and help Draco. She needed him to accept her. To accept that she was a Malfoy, and that she made bad choices, but she tried to do them with good intentions. That she only ever did what she had to do to survive to protect her family.

"I know." He said again, as if he could hear her very thoughts.

He moved both his hands to her neck and pulled her face down to his, pressing his lips against her as they rocked in unison. His tongue swiping against the seam of her lips, pushing past her teeth and rolling with her own. She moaned into him and suddenly, she saw stars. She felt her walls tighten around him as he continued thrusting into her and she pulled her lips away from his, moaning loudly and throwing her head back, her eyes rolling into her head as she rode the wave of her climax on top of him, her hands pressed into his chest and her fingernails leaving half moon breaks in his skin.

Harry pumped into her three more times and cried out, rocking his hips into hers and biting onto his bottom lip as his head fell forward onto her chest, his arms snaking around her waist to pull her flush against him and he kissed her collar as his breathing struggled to settle.

He held her close to him for a long time. She could feel him softening inside of her and she could feel the electricity that had been coursing through her body in the air. She wrapped both her arms around his neck, holding his head to her chest and pressing her face into his hair. She closed her eyes and had the almost overwhelming urge to weep.

Finally, they peeled themselves away from each other. Harry pulled himself from her depths and she gasped at the sudden emptiness of it. She remained in his lap, facing him, staring into his eyes. She slowly reached a hand up and righted his glasses, which had been pushed askew on his face.

He chuckled. "Thanks."

She smiled at him and moved herself from her chest to chest position. She stayed in his lap, with her legs over his thighs and her head on his shoulder. He wrapped both of his arms around her again and pulled her into him.

"That was… intense." Harry said, looking down to his lap. His eyebrows knit together, and he looked at her in worry and then back down to his lap. "You've bled. Are you okay?"

She followed his gaze to his lap and then pushed her skirt up a bit, seeing a bit of blood on the insides of her thighs. "Yeah." She said. "It was my first time… I know that it can be unpleasant at first."

"Was it?" He asked. "Unpleasant, I mean. Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "That was the very opposite of unpleasant." She gave a breathy laugh. "The absolute opposite." She reached down to the floor, where she had heard her wand clatter against the ground and searched it with her fingers until they wrapped around the ashy wood. She performed a tergeo on them both to clean up the fluids left behind and dropped her wand back to the floor.

She wrapped both her arms around him and smiled as he tightened his grip around her and pressed his lips into her hair.

"What was it like?" He whispered. "Being locked inside your mind for that long?"

She sighed and closed her eyes. "At first? It was wonderful. I spent it with you. I went to the gardens at the Manor on a summer day. I visited the Friesian horses we had when I was young-

"You had horses?" Harry asked. "That seems a very muggle thing to have."

"They were Friesian." She said. "From the Netherlands. Large and pure black. They were beautiful. We had six of them on the property when I was young. They were friendly enough. They were expensive and looked powerful, I think that's why my Father bought them."

"What happened to them?" He asked.

"They were slaughtered." She whispered. "When the Dark- When V-Voldemort returned. He killed them."

Harry set his jaw, looking at her fiercely. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Because we retained our wealth? My father retained his power? He simply doesn't care for horses? Take your pick."

Harry gave a gentle nod. "Why did you stay locked?" He asked. "Why didn't you wake up?"

"I didn't want to, at first." She said. "It was nice, being in my own head. Seeing my old memories. Spending as much time as I wanted with you, with my family before everything went… Before everything changed again. It was paradise. Why would I leave?"

"I reckon you wouldn't." He agreed. "When did it change?"

"Slowly." She said. "Slowly the memories I would walk into became less… happy. My mind wouldn't show me the happy ones anymore. I kept seeing my father as I saw him in Azkaban. Even in the happier memories of him, he appeared that way. I kept reliving the night Draco took the mark, listening to him cry from his room, unable to help. I-I got tortured. Over and over I relived being crucioed on the floor of the dining hall at the manor, seeing my mother in a heap in the corner having just been tortured herself. I saw The Dark- I saw Vol-Voldemort's face as he stared back at me. And I couldn't leave."

"Snape said you banished him. You kept making him leave and didn't want him to pull you out."

She nodded. "I deserved to be there, Harry. Knowing what I did—what I've done. I deserved to be in prison. Whether it was my own mind or Azkaban, I deserve it."

Silence hung heavily over them. She wondered if he could feel her sorrow. Her anger at herself. She wondered if he was angry, if he still hated her. She closed her eyes, her face against his shoulder. She wanted to stay like this forever, to never have to face her betrayal.

"Draco said you weren't willing to take the mark." Harry said.

"I was unconscious." She replied. She sighed and sat up a bit. She pushed her unbuttoned shirt off her shoulders and pulled her left arm forward, showing him the mark. She could see his jaw clench, hearing the grit of his teeth as he stared at the blemish of her arm. "It started burning me alive, I think. It's still hot all the time. I don't know if I can- if it will go away because I was forced to take it. I don't know if it will work, if he calls me, if I'll have to answer it. I don't know…"

"You were unconscious?" Harry replied, looking at her curiously. "I don't… How? What-

"After I got crucioed I passed out from it. He was angry with me."

"Angry that you passed out?" His voice was incredulous. "I've been crucioed. I know it's almost impossible not to pass out. He must know-

She shook her head, effectively silencing him. "Angry that I told him no."

Harry pulled away from her, his face hardening. "You told him no?"

"He demanded I use my abilities to hurt someone… I don't know if this will work- I… I might be able to-

"Show me." Harry said. "Show me what happened."

She took his face in her hands and closed her eyes, trying to push the memory from her head into his. She shuddered as the feel of cold fury cracked like an egg and seeped into her spine.


Harry's breath caught in his chest as the most intense fear chilled his insides. He watched as the scene unfolded, saw Elara standing in the center of the room, her eyes darting between her mother, who was heaped on the floor in the corner; and her brother, who was standing against the wall behind the table.

Harry could feel the nauseous terror Elara felt in this moment, could feel the bile burning the back of his throat as stomach acid crept up. He was facing Voldemort, a death eater he knew to be named Dolohov stood between them.

"Force his emotions forward." Voldemort ordered her. "Show me pain."

He watched Elara's wand arm twitch as she calculated her chances of survival should she attempt to escape, to harm anyone in the room. Finally, she settled and stared back at Voldemort, a look of defiance and cold mistrust.

"No."

He heard the gasps, the murmurs around the room as she defied her Lord, as she stood up to him and refused to do what he wanted. He listened as Voldemort pushed further, questioning her choice. She held her ground.

"You dare defy me?" The pure fury of Voldemort's voice sent a chill through Harry's spine. The look of absolute rage that boiled in the serpentine eyes as they bore into Ellie was almost enough to make his knees buckle.

She stood strong, straightening her back and showing no signs of terror. "I dare." She said, more conviction in her voice than he had ever heard from her. "I will not hurt this man for you."

Harry pulled himself from the memory. He had seen enough. He looked down at her, her silver eyes swirling with doubt and sadness and he pressed his lips to her forehead.

"That is the bravest thing I have ever witnessed." He whispered.

He wondered if she knew how brave she was. If she knew that he didn't care what had happened, what she had done. He didn't care if she still held secrets from him, if she still had things to show him, things to tell him. They would get there. He was sure of it. At some point, they would cross that bridge, but right now she needed to know that he was amazed. He knew what it took to look into the face of the Devil and deny it what it wanted.

He looked down to the mark on her arm, he could feel the heat rolling from it in waves as it burned her, a constant reminder of what she had done. A constant reminder of the result of her courage. A courage that was uncharacteristic for the Malfoy name. The family that had built an empire on cutthroat cowardice… She was not one of them.


a/n: I wrote this chapter probably half a dozen times. I edited it, re-worked it and deleted and re-added the smut more than once. I decided to keep it in because one: smut. and two: while it's not super prevalent to the story line, I feel like physical intimacy is one thing that can really make you feel connected to someone, and Elara needed the connection.

I hope that came across.

Anyway, I don't like to listen to music while I read or write, because I get distracted too easily. However, after I write a chapter, I almost always think of a song I'd like to listen to afterward. Sometimes they pertain to the chapter lyrically, sometimes the beat reinforces my mood after writing it, sometimes it's just because I really think that chapter was stellar and I feel like a bad bitch that does hood rat shit instead of a dorky chef who sits behind her computer most days.

So i think I'll post those songs from time to time, so if you'd like to listen to them after you read, you can. Or not. I mean, it's not like I'm going to know. You can also feel free to give me suggestions. Like, it can just be music you like haha I'm always looking for knew stuff to listen to.

The song I listened to after I finalized this chapter was Love in the Dark by Jessie Reyez. (If you haven't listened to her, she's amazing. Her voice is so unique and I can't get enough of her.)

Updates are hopefully coming quick enough for you all! God knows I'm frying my brain over here with the amount of words I've typed in the last week or so. It's probably going to be every other day updates for awhile, so you know, that's awesome.

PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING! Review, follow, favorite, all of that! It's so wonderful and oh so nice when I see them! I try to respond to any questions and comments that I can. Also, as you can tell from this very long a/n; I'm chatty. So, talk to meee.

Until next time, my lovely readers!

xo

Mimi