Honey pot

Chapter 13- Honeydew

Standing alone on the sidewalk in front of the driveway to her family's garage, Bonnie Rockwaller was alone, in the last place she wanted to be. Turning toward the bus stop just down the street, Bonnie was met with the identical scene of the driveway up to her home. Shaking her head in confusion, Bonnie turned directly around only to be met with the same scene, as if she never moved.

"Oh," Bonnie sighed. "I hate these kinds of dreams.''

Shrugging to the inevitable, Bonnie stepped toward her home, only to instantly find herself inside her living room with the front door slamming behind her. Turning around Bonnie saw that the girl standing in the mirror wasn't her. At least not her now.

The Bonnie Rockwaller in the mirror was shorter, her hair wasn't as long, and her curves weren't nearly as developed. The latter of which her freshmen cheer outfit emphasized. The girl's face was a bit rounder, and had a button nose and bright shining teal eyes that contrasted sharply with her soft creamy skin. The younger Bonnie looked more cute and adorable than pretty or beautiful. Noticing the fundraiser candy bar in her hand, Bonnie unwrapped it and took a bite.

"Yup." Bonnie grumbled, spitting out the cheap chocolate, along with the rest of the candy bar, into the trash can near her. "Even in my dreams, they still taste like dirt in a wrapper. Hello, Konny!"

There was no answer. After a few more tries, Bonnie stopped and stood there confused. Usually, in her dreams, whenever she was at home, the family dog typically showed up by now, unless…

"Oh, it's that dream."

"B-BonBon?" The image of Bonnie's mother appeared The Rockwaller matriarch shambled into the room, sniffling as she cried, her shoes covered in mud. "I-I'm sorry baby, Konny died."

"O-oh, come on." Bonnie groaned, shaking her head as she tried fighting off the freight train of grief that slammed into her. Bonnie happily welcomed replacing it with frustration, annoyance, and a pinch of anger for flavor. "What brought this dream on?"

"She's buried where your old toyland slide used to be." Bonnie's dream mother said, oblivious, followed by another sob. "You two used to have so much fun there together!"

"Cue bottle of wine and soaps." Bonnie bit her lip as the image of her mother faded, only to appear spread out on the couch next to her, bottle in hand as the TV blared on. Rolling her eyes, Bonnie noticed that her body was sliding toward the door to the backyard as it opened itself to her. Grabbing hold of the couch, Bonnie stopped herself just short of the door, slamming it in a huff. "This is my dream. You can't make me."

The moment she finished her sentence, Bonnie found herself sitting in her room at her desk, its surface covered in used tissues, a number of them smeared with makeup. Leaning back in her chair, Bonnie groaned as she swiveled toward the door.

"Tell me the dream locked the door this time."

As if on cue, the door opened and in walked the older Rockwaller sisters, with no mud or tears. Through the dream, Bonnie was ruthlessly reminded of the stinging jealousy of her sisters. Their impossible curves, flawless skin, and flowing hair burned inside the younger Rockwaller. To Bonnie, it almost appeared that a glowing halo surrounded them by divine right, to show how perfect and goddess-like they were.

By contrast, the girl staring back at Bonnie through her desk mirror was pudgy bordering on obese, her hair matted and greasy, and her face was smeared in smoky make up that did nothing to hide the near endless land mine of pimples, especially the reindeer-reminding volcano on her nose. The crumpled fund raiser candy wrappers and makeup smeared napkins laying around on the desk made the girl in the mirror look like she was crawling in garbage.

"Guess not." Bonnie said, flipping the desk mirror so she couldn't see, only to be met with her same reflection, looking more slimy and pathetic than before. "I-I really hate this dream."

"Mom wanted us to check on you before she passed out." Lonnie said, tossing her a towel before straightening out her purple sweater. "We're worried about you."

"Uh-huh." Bonnie spat, catching the towel, only for it to fall out of her hand anyway. "Oh come on."

"Nice catch, runt." Connie smirked, pulling a strand of her golden hair back. "But I get it. The mud does spruce up the whole ugly duckling look you're going for."

"Bitch." Bonnie glared at her sister, only to see that she really was covered in mud. It was splattered over her top, and her scrawny chicken legs and clown feet were slathered in it. "Was it really that bad?"

"It was so sad you couldn't be here when we laid the ol' girl to rest." Lonnie said, her smirk matching her twin's. "I know it was your first day as captain, but… I guess cheer leading is more important than family to you."

Bonnie gathered up a handful of mud and tossed it at her sisters, only for it to disappear when it hit them.

"That's cold, bitch." Connie shook her head haughtilly.

"Screw you, Con!" Bonnie snarled. "She was named after you and you were still too stupid to remember."

"We tried calling you." Lonnie said as Connie pulled out Bonnie's princess purple phone from inside her tube top. "We're so happy for you both that Brickworth got into college."

"I hope your theater major lands you an amusement park mascot job." Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Nah, no way in hell you're graduating."

"Awww, is the fugly piggy runt gonna cr-"

"Yes, I know Brick dumped me by text." Bonnie spat, jumping out of her chair, a baseball bat appearing in her hands. "Screw this, I'm making this dream fun!"

Before Bonnie could take a swing, she found herself inside her father's study, standing in front of his desk like a kid at the principal's office. The Rockwaller patriarch himself was leaning back in his chair, feet up on the desk, tie loosened and beer in hand. Bonnie couldn't help but notice the somber look on his face as he stared at the framed picture he was holding.

Bonnie could see her reflection in the shiny polished wood of his desk, she was even younger than before, maybe four years old. The tiny Rockwaller's hair was in little pigtails, and she wore a bright pink shirt with a cartoon unicorn on the front, a white skirt over princess purple tights, and no shoes.

"Perfect!" Bonnie threw her hands up. "I hit the last stamp on the 'worst day in my life' bingo card."

"I remember how happy you girls were when I first brought the puppy home." Bonnie's father said, sitting down the picture frame and picking up one of the fundraiser candy bars. "Especially you, baby girl. You were still figuring out how to walk and finally had something to chase."

"Jesus." Bonnie grumbled. "The dream took me here! What, do I hate myself?"

"Don't blame yourself, baby girl," Bonnie's father said before taking a bite of the candy bar. "It wasn't your fault."

"What?" Bonnie asked, tilting her head. "Why would I do that? Kony was an old dog. The only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't get to say goodbye."

"Never mind, baby girl." Bonnie's father said, looking away as he tossed the rest of the candy bar into the trash can. "So, how was your first day as cheer captain?"

"Ugh." Bonnie bit her lip. "Here it comes.

"Oh," Dream Daddy said. As he did, both he and the desk grew and grew until they were the size of a building. Bonnie herself had stayed the same and felt like a tiny pest of an ant that wandered into the den of an all powerful grizzly bear. Rubbing her hands and looking away, Bonnie saw through the blank look on his face and felt the sheer crushing disappointment in his eyes. It took all of the tiny ant's strength to just stand there as the towing giant thundered. "I'm sure you did your best, baby girl."

"Why does that sting so much?"

"B…BO… BONNIE. BONNIE WAKE UP."

"Finally!"

Bonnie cheered in pure relief, only for it to be crushed like an ant under the weight of a grizzly bear as she looked back to her father. He wore the sheer unbridled tormenting look Bonnie had always received when she was given a participation ribbon instead of blue, a badge instead of a trophy, a C+ instead of an A. Disappointment.

"I'm sorry Daddy."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"B…Bon… Bonnie."

"Gah…" Bonnie groaned, lifting her head off the pillow as she took a deep breath and was hit with the delicious scent of ham and eggs, with some coffee aftertaste for flavor. "Hmmm, that smells great."

"It should, I gave it a little extra spice."

Bonnie forced her eyes open and saw none other than Tara Rex. She was a good 5-foot-nothing, with good enough curves to look attractive without being threatening. She had bright golden hair, bright blue eyes, and a cute round face. Tara was currently sitting at her desk next to her bed in a yellow hoody and blue jeans, holding out the breakfast plate to Bonnie with a warm smile… All of the food was green. Typical.

"You like it?"

"Mahhh, the insanity of morning people." Bonnie grumbled, opening up the giant teddy sleeping bag before grabbing the plate and taking a bite of the emerald eggs. "Even on Saturdays."

"Oh come on, it's funny!" Tara smiled. "Thought you could use a lil' pick-me-up with the dream you were having."

"Huh?" Bonnie asked, trying the green ham. It was delicious.

"You, kinda, had..." Tara pointed at Bonnie's face. "Tears."

"What?" Bonnie wiped her eyes; they were wet. She felt embarrassed. "Oh."

"So," Tara asked. "Scary or sad?"

"I don't remember." Bonnie shrugged, lying. "Coffee please."

"Well, part of it had to be good. When I left for the kitchen, you were smiling and swinging at something." Tara shrugged back, handing over a steaming purple mug. Bonnie smirked as she took a sip of the sweet brown goodness. "Chainsaw or blow torch?"

'Damn, that would've been better.' Bonnie thought. "Baseball bat."

"That's pretty boring for you."

"It's what came to mind." Bonnie admitted.

"My fave Bonnie dream was when your sisters were rotting zombie slaves, Kim was your court jester, you were on a throne of M16's with a solid gold seat cushion, and let's not forget your dad crowning you as he handed you the keys to his corner office."

"Tar, please." Bonnie took a gulp of coffee. "Keep the trolling down until the not-morning person has had her coffee, and don't go for shock laughs with supes."

"Why'd you think it was about supers?"

"It sounds like a 'new world order' speech." Bonnie rolled her eyes. "They always steam it during their declaration rants. Happens at least twice a month."

"Maybe." Tara shrugged again. "You sure it's not something in my dream one-shot collection?"

"OMGod." Bonnie cringed. "I can already see the review for it."

"You're right. We need to add in extra crazy to make it really stand out." Tara nodded thoughtfully. "How about this, you're holding the leash to Ron's gimp suit, a wedding ring with a giant princess purple diamond laying on the tip of the vibrator strapped to his head that matches his cock ring. Your millionaire side-kick boytoy, screaming through his cash-printed ball gag as you eat his beloved naco with one hand while you unbutton your shirt, showing off your irresistible goods with the other!"

"There it is." Bonnie sighed, finishing off the green ham. "Are you giving me another pitch for a lemon fic?"

"It's a shot in the dark." Tara admitted, finishing her own eggs. "Thought I'd try lightening your mood."

"Please. Please, try to keep a lid on the crazy until I've had my coffee."

"Is it really that crazy?" Tara asked. "With your life, are you telling me you didn't like any part of the skit?"

"Well, my sisters are already brain-dead flesh eaters." Bonnie did a pumping motion in front of her open mouth. Tara laughed. "But anything pushed too far sounds crazy. You stalking Kim and her family for instance. By your own logic I wouldn't be surprised if, you, Tara Rex, broke into their house to steal random stuff… Actually, knowing you it'd be creepy sex stuff. I can see it now, Kim's vibrator, doctor mom's undies, and I'm pretty sure when the twin little brothers get old enough you'll sperm jack'em along with rocket dad."

"That does sound crazy." Tara shook her head. "If I wanted to steal from the Possibles, I'd just go ask Wade."

"W-wait, what?"

"And if I was going to sperm jack anyone, it'd be Ron." Tara shrugged. "He's rich and got some 'monkey business' gong on. You have no idea how much celeb 'essence' is worth online."

"Hmmm…" Bonnie stared blankly at her friend. "Tar, I can never tell if you're messing with me."

"That's half the fun!" Tara laughed. "But, you're asking the wrong question. The real question is if you can't tell after knowing me all this time… should you really be sitting there on my novelty giant teddy sleeping bag, eating the food I made for you, when who knows what's in… any of it?"

"Keee-riste!" Bonnie took a deep breath. "I can't tell who drives me crazier, you or my family. New topic, please."

"Ohhh!" Tara gushed. "You really think we're family?"

"New topic."

"I'll meet you halfway." Tara eyed Bonnie. "Let's talk about the main guy in your life who's driving you crazy. Ron, the guy you're trying to Con."

"I, uh." Bonnie coughed. "I think you're confusing your wet dreams with real life again. I mean, I'm flattered I was in it but..."

"Bon, come on." Tara rolled her eyes. "You treated him like your own personal ATM for like a week, and after he was kidnapped but still kept his money, you two completely ignored each other. You didn't even give him the village idiot routine like before. Next thing anyone knew, he's left Kim's hip and started a cooking class? Were you even trying to be subtle… and I saw you kick down his door that one night last month."

"Ugh." Bonnie groaned, setting down her empty mug and plate before falling back on the giant teddy sleeping bag. "I don't know what to do."

"My favorite part was the first week." Tara smirked. "How you didn't need to use your tongue or even your hands to punch in your PIN to get cash out of the Ron ATM."

"Okay," Bonnie slapped a hand over her face. "I get it."

"Nope! Just a double retina scan." Tara joked, grabbing her chest and holding up her breasts through her hoody. "Didn't even mind the t-shirt contact lens when scanning."

"I get it." Bonnie grumbled tiredly, sitting back up. Tara smiled back knowingly, her hands still on her chest. Bonnie sighed. "I really wanted his money. Saw he still had it that night, and just sorta… went for it."

"Oh, Ron. Ohhh Ronnie! Don't stoppp!" Tara moaned, her eyes closed as she bounced her chest up and down. "Giving me money."

"Pretty much." Bonnie laughed. "Please stop."

"You know, this is the part of the Rom-com where the BFF tells the lead girl, in the most passive-aggressive way possible, what a massive W-prostitute she was for lowering herself for a hundred mil." Both girls laughed at that. "Followed by a reference to Pretty Woman, forcing the plot forward by telling the lead how she 'obviously fell' for the guy. But come on, it's only been a month, though if you have he must have a real 'gold carrot'."

"Nice try." Bonnie raised an eyebrow. "Last bit was a bit confusing."

"Damn."

"But he does have a gold plated indoor hot-tub." Bonnie smiled, remembering the memory. "Worth every penny."

"Really?" Tara asked, clearly interested. "You think he'll let me take a dip? I could try out my new bikini."

"Newp!" Tara eyed Bonnie again. "After ripping his pants off… I didn't really have a plan. I just winged it til, like, the third day. I made sure he was too distracted to tell."

The cheerleaders smirked at each other.

"You've turned Ron's savant powers into a money factory while seducing him away from the object of his wet dreams." Tara twisted her swivel chair a few rounds. "Tell me it's not a revenge thing. Wouldn't be out of character but still a dick move. Too much like your sisters."

"Mah." Bonnie slumped off the giant teddy and onto the floor in a huff. "I think I have to drop the Ron factory."

"Does it have anything to do with the guy you were giving the full sell to last night?" Tara lined up her forearm against her hoody zipper. "Were you trying to bury his arm in your chest?"

"Remember Prince Wally?"

"Wha-" Tara slipped out of her chair, falling half way to the ground before catching herself at the last second. "Why was he back, another villain thing? When I post this, I'll fall completely out of the chair, spill the full plate all over myself. Full loony toons."

"Fine, super girl." Bonnie shrugged. "Just don't make me Harley Quinn when you do it."

"I learned my lesson." Tara folded her arms. "Poison Ivy."

"I could never be a ginger." Bonnie folded her arms back. "I have a soul."

"Mean." Tara laughed. "How about Talia Al' Ghu- We're getting off topic."

"Fine," Bonnie tilted her head as Tara reached for her own mug. "But I get your coffee. Spit takes aren't funny, just messy."

"Okey dokey." Tara handed over the yellow mug. "Figured it out last time when I made my keyboard all sticky."

"To save money, all that." Bonnie started. "|Ron, well, me, sent out sponsorship pleas to people Ron knew from Spandex patrol. Wally took it as a business partnership invite."

"Phhgt!" Tara imitated a spit take.

"Ohhh, a plot twist. I'm loving this!" Tara shook her head laughing. "A one-shot character from first season turned special guest star. And the part he plays! An actual super hero on one side, an actual prince on another. Our star villainess cons both boys while they stare at her giggling boobs! Totally gonna be the summary when I post it."

"Uh-huh." Bonnie sipped the coffee, hating the bitterness and missing the creamer. "That, that right there is why I never have to worry about anyone taking your stuff seriously."

"Crazy or not, its true."

"I'm not a villainess." Bonnie defended. "And I'm not trying to take their money. Just build a business off them."

"After a few cars first."

"A car." Bonnie shot back, a little too quickly… "For now, Titease80085."

"You laugh," Tara defended. "but that name attracted a lot of readers."

"Yeah," Bonnie rolled her eyes. "From creepy dungeon masturbators looking for a quick deposit at the spank bank."

"Bonibelle." Tara leaned back into her chair. "You only pull out the masturbation metaphors when you want to avoid something. Why do you wanna drop Ron?"

Bonnie could only stare back at her oldest friend. Tara's long curly golden hair, adorable round face, and innocent blue eyes stared back at her. Like every time Tara asked for something juicy, Bonnie was hit with the image of a Cabbage Patch Kid asking a RealDoll about her 3-way with a chain smoking carny prize teddy and a where'd-he-touch-you Ken doll.

But unlike before, Tara wasn't asking for some raunchy one-liners or a fluffed up lime skit. Tara was asking about last nig- the gym incident. Bonnie wouldn't dare go near it. Even now, from Tara's question alone, Bonnie felt the same cauldron of those confusing feelings bubbling in her chest.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Bonnie was met with the haunting image of the once goofy, eccentric, and pants-challenged klutz… standing in the dark, slumped over, hands covering his crotch, slathered in chunky grease as he stared blankly off into the dark.

"Guh." Bonnie cringed, shooting her eyes open as she guzzled the mug, happily welcoming the familiar feeling as it went down. "I don't necessarily need Ronnie. I know where his cookbook is. With Ron they can't be that hard. I could probably make 'em myself, beta test 'em with a fake bake sale or something. Patent the winners. Damn, why didn't I think about cutting out the middleman before?"

"Want me to write a list?" Tara raised an eyebrow. "You don't wanna talk about it, okay. Though when I write this you'll spill the whole cup."

"Huh?" Bonnie asked looking down to find that the top right of her V-neck was soaked with coffee and spreading. Bonnie rolled her eyes as she unzipped the novelty teddy sleeping bag's left leg open, pulling out a handful of clothes. "Come on, favorite shirt."

"Alright," Tara asked as Bonnie swapped shirts. "In this boat full of holes you call a plan, where does Wall fit in?"

"Dunno really." Bonnie admitted. "He's rich. Dim. Can't keep his eyes off me. I'll think of something."

"Bon, he's a prince with deep pockets." Tara shook her head. "He couldn't be any more different than hand-me-down hockey jersey Ron or your dumb as a brick ex. It'll take more than a double retina scan to keep his attention. Really doubt you'll be the only one trying to use that ATM."

"You've been watching too much Thrones."

"I made a whole spin-off from the last time Wally was in town. Knights included." Tara defended. "But that's not what I meant and you know it."

"Yeah." Bonnie slowly nodded. "Wally wants excitement. He just used my email as an excuse to try and tag along with Ron on Spandex patrol."

"PW is an adrenaline junkie?"

"Tally-ho!" Bonnie cheered mockingly, her fist shaking in the air. "Never heard that in real life before. The most excitement I can show a guy is when I'm on top of them."

"Those solid C-cups usually do the trick." Tara joked, pointing at Bon's chest, which she noticed that the coffee soaked bra cups leaking through the thin cotton of her new shirt. "From what you told me, its Spandex or nobandex."

"Damn it." Bonnie cursed, pulling off the now indecently laden shirt, not even bothering to replace it, just sliding on her flower-decorated princess purple hoody before pulling out her bra entirely. "Nobandex?"

"Its like orange." Tara admitted. "Can't really rhyme it with anything."

"Stick with capes."

"Too easy. I'll find something for Spande- Hey! Getting me off topic again." Tara pointed a finger. "Look, Bon, as a writer I know how tempting it is to jump onto a new story plot. Usually it just screws up what's already there. With Ron, you've at least got the ground work covered… and I totes ship you guys."

"Mahhh." Bonnie sighed, standing up only to fall right back on the giant teddy, air squeezing out as she landed. "I think my partnership with Ronnie is done. I'm not sure how to fix it."

"Does this have anything to do with Red giving Yellow the full sell?" Tara asked. "Me and Josh saw the whole thing from his portrait booth. It was like a lemon intro. That dress alone, Jesus, I can see how you lost Ron's attention."

"Its not about attention, or control." Bonnie mumbled. "You remember the guy my sisters fought over in 8th grade?"

"Hard to forget." Tara frowned. "Poor guy had to change schools after he was put on the local suicide watch… that bad?"

"Maybe." Bonnie shrugged.

"Wow." Tara whistled. "Lot to unpack there."

"I know." Bonnie admitted. "I'm having trouble. The only thing I can think of is just drop everything with Ronnie and just wing it with the prince."

"Dumping a guy because he got hard." Tara joked. "Sounds like you. But come on, think about it. The money, the fanservice, you know there's gonna be more awesome cars."

"My life is not a Michael Bay movie."

"Did I say explosions?" Tara dismissed, only to gush. "OMGod, there could be explosions!"

"My turn to tell you to focus." Bonnie smiled, pointing back. "As a writer, what should I do?"

"I'm a fanfic writer, big difference." Tara shrugged. "I always go for fun or dramatic. The plot's kinda a B concern."

"I pick fun." Bonnie snapped her fingers. "I could use it, so that means PW. But I don't know where he is. Talked for maybe five minutes, no numbers. Kinda dumb of me really."

"So, that means Ron."

"MAHHH." Bonnie groaned, flipping on the giant teddy, burying her face in its fluff. "Can I just stay here with you today? I'll even help you out with a lemon turkey."

"I appreciate it…" Tara gave a sad understanding smile. "I'm gonna help Josh at his painting booth. Wow, we really need a new name for a lemon three-shot."

"I'll just go home."

"Adding a turd cherry to this crap cake." Tara sighed. "Didn't your mom bully your sisters into coming home for Middleton Days?"

"Could Josh use more help at his booth?"

"Bon," Tara eyed her. "You've already got two guys. Don't be greedy."

"Fine." Bonnie spat, frustrated as she grabbed her bag out of the giant teddy's left leg and headed toward the door. "But when Josh does your portrait, try not to flash him too much with the skirt. Can't be easy painting with a hard on."

"Its a called being a muse!"

XXXXXXX

A seeming cluster of island paradise after island paradise filled the sapphire waters of this hidden South American sea. Tropical trees with smaller foliage filled the small landscape, with neither sign of civilization nor animals in sight aside from the small guppies in the shallows. All, however, but the largest island in the center.

Unlike the rest of the islands in the archipelago, the large island was not a canvas of white sand with trees. A giant slab of dark red stone in the shape of a looming tower covered most of it. Only a small stretch of lifeless rock served as a beach. On top of this ominous fortress was a square complex tipped with man-made towers.

The outside was crawling with red-body-suit-wearing construction crews cleaning up the signs of great destruction. Sparks from their welding, grinding, and cutting tools flew off the side and down the slab of rock below them. Broken and charred debris was being removed, the holes and chunks of wall missing from the infrastructure of the complex were being replaced and repaired, and the interior was even worse. What wasn't charred was melted. What wasn't broken was held together with duct tape and gum. What wasn't covered in debris was smeared with ash. As the internal crews continued their shift, just trying to attach temporary support beams was a challenge.

All of this supported the idea that an entire alien invasion force had fought in this hidden island fortress. But it wasn't. This was all the work of a single super powered titan of a woman.

Toward the south side of the island lair, the stainless steel sliding door's control panel's case was closed by one of the red suited henchman. An industrial grade remote control in his hand, the scarlet minion pressed the green button and the doors whooshed open with a slight bit of struggle, revealing none other than a dark neon green room to the rest of the complex. The green room itself was unlike the rest of the island base, as it was completely intact, but not because it was spared. Every piece of furniture in the room was fresh and clean, some of which still had their price tags attached, and what wasn't new had a slight coating of ash. Standing in the doorway was none other than super muscle for hire extraordinaire, Shego.

"Ugh, finally. I've been stuck in here all day."

Shego sighed as she walked through the door and into the hall. As she did, she tried to ignore the looks from the construction crews, all of whom had stopped, if not outright turning to stare then at least peeking. Even though Shego herself was the cause of how ruined the lair was and a number of scorched henchmen, she tried to ignore it. As the herd of flabby peons had gazed at her so much and for as long as she'd worked there, it was hard to even notice anymore. As she walked by, Shego heard a curse from one of the henchmen followed by a loud clang before another henchmen fell to the floor. Shego didn't bother to look. She'd lost count of how many times it had happened that day.

"How did the door break just after I got back from this morning's shopping spree?"

Shego shrugged while turning a corner and walked through an archway. As she did, the minion working above it dropped his welding wand, its rubber laced cord wrapping around his leg and pulling the henchmen down on top of it. The henchmen yelped in pain as the ladder he was on tipped over and dropped on top of him. Shego rolled her eyes at this as she pulled the door to the archway shut and continued on her way, wondering if the henchmen were recruited from an MIT clown college. Halfway down the empty debris-filled hall, Shego stopped and pressed her hand against the wall. The spot she pressed pulled into the wall and opened a secret door in the seemingly sturdy sandstone.

This secret compartment was a small room, specifically a laboratory. This particular lab was one of the few rooms in the complex to be completely unharmed and clear of either damage or debris. To the sides were several large machines Shego didn't know or care to know about, though they appeared to be covered with special tools. Hanging from the walls were several robotic limbs and body parts, all in vaguely human shape, but disassembled. In the middle was a specialized stainless steel work bench. Shego couldn't make out any specifics, only that it was light blue like the other vaguely human shaped parts, as her view of the work bench was being blocked by the wannabe world conquering blue vibrator with a mouth, or Shego's 'boss', Dr. Drakken.

"I really hope you're reprogramming those repair bots I stole this morning." Shego sighed, shaking the rocky chalk-like dust from her hair as the secret door closed itself. "Because I'm not sure the henchmen are 'helping' out there.''

"Sh-Shego!" Drakken stammered, pulling the sheet over the table as he turned to face her. Of course, instead of covering his project, the sheet simply slid off the work bench entirely and onto the floor. The blue mad scientist stood there silently for a moment before sighing and leaning back on the workbench behind him. "Oh, forget it. When did you figure it out?"

"Doc." Shego smirked, enjoying the flustered embarrassed look on Drakken's face as he folded his arms. "It's a mad scientist's lair on an uncharted island. Of course there's gonna be secret labs. This one's about your 'robo-real bots'."

"I do not build s-ex bo- Oh, like 'Real-Doll'. Clever."

"Thank you."

Dr. Drakken, AKA Drew Lipskey, was originally just one more disturbed nerdling among the endless horde of crusty sock craftsmen that went to high-class colleges. What separated Drakken from those former geek gobbers that got involved in the super game, was that Drak became disfigured after he was already in the mad doctor's coat. Instead, it was because of what was laying on the grey slab.

"Do the henchmen know about this?" Drakken asked.

"Not this exactly."

Shego pointed at the workbench, walking closer to get a better look. The model Drakken was currently working on looked very similar to the previous one: Light blue painted face, black painted torso, red eyes and lips, along with long blond hair. The only difference Shego could see was that it was missing its blue limbs and had its chest cabinet open, revealing nothing but a series of wires and machinery in a girl's frame.

"Though since you're a mad scientist with a history of robots, mutants - oh and how they're all guys on a remote island, you can guess what they hope you're secretly building."

"I'm a super villain for crying out loud." Drakken rolled his eyes. "I build devices of doom, death. and domination. World domination only."

"Didn't you try to make a high school girl embarrass herself to death?" Shego raised an eyebrow at him. "Making RealDolls would probably be a step up. So, why bother trying to hide this?"

"Gahhh." Drakken grimaced, the embarrassed memory of that night returning to show on his face. "The super villain community is very competitive."

"Aren't you the one famous for stealing?"

"I'm not going to debate over the importance of security, Shego."

"Well let me tell ya, as the only girl on the island, I wouldn't be against you making those RealDolls. The henchmen would love 'em. You don't even have to change much. Just make sure the hands and mouths work." Shego joked as she pushed the robot girl's metal mouth open. It was hard not to laugh at Drakken's cringe. "Blue blondes'll probably motivate the henchmen over blue balls."

"Please stop."

Drakken demanded, closing the mechanical girl's mouth shut with a clang. But, of course, the mad scientist shut too hard and a snapping sound erupted from the robot's mouth before it fell open again. The flustered, frustrated, and embarrassed Drakken tried a few more attempts at shutting its mouth. Each time the jaw of the robot girl slid open lower and lower until it fell right off and onto the ground. Drakken picked up the robotic jaw off the floor tossed it out of sight in a huff.

"Is there a reason you're here?"

"Bored." Shego shrugged. "This is always a good way to kill time."

Of course, Shego wasn't talking about watching Drakken working on his latest 'doomsday device'. Rather watching Drakken testing them out. Much, much more often than not they either exploded on the spot, instantly turned on their creator, or simply caused random riots rather than working correctly. Shego's favorite was when Drakken created a gaggle of 'desctructo bots'. Just off the assembly line the army of murder machines started attacking each other and themselves like a horde of headless chickens with plasma rays and death claws.

"So what's the latest creepy reason you're working on these today?" Shego asked. "If you wanna find out where you went wrong, I'd start with when you tried to make a girlfriend out your mom's vacuum cleaner with crayon scribbled smiley face and a wig. Or maybe after that, when you actually showed it to people?

"Irregardless of how this started Shego," Drakken snapped. "This project has serious potential. As tools to help me conqueror the world, prove my genius, and demonstrate my ability to create robot girlfriends once and for all."

"Potential!? These feminators are missing the only reason anyone would want a robot girlfriend. Doctor D. I saw the last model. They look like blue mannequins, sound like a knockoff GPS, and feel like-" Shego tapped her fist against cold hard painted metal of the robot girl's crotch, the ding echoing throughout the small laboratory. "Dead steel. I take it back. You'd probably scare the crap out of the henchmen rather than motivate 'em."

"Zip it, Shego." Drakken clasped his fingers shut at her. "World conqueror here. Not robo-pimp. So for the last time, I'm not making a sex bot."

"Well... could you?" Shego asked. An absent moment overtook the completely silent room. The only movement was Shego biting her lip as Drakken stared at her blankly. "Doctor D."

"What are you getting at, Shego?"

"Hypothetically," Shego asked, almost nervously playing with her hair. "You could make Robo-Real Dolls. Maybe fireproof and male, so a certain someone could use them. Maybe even toss in a plasma retardant room, bunker, something."

"Huh," Drakken raised his eyebrow, intrigued. "You just gave me a great idea."

"No way in hell it was the one I was going for." Shego shook her head. "Doc?"

"An infiltration droid!" Drakken cheered. "It could insert itself into Kim Possible's personal life, gather information, and distract if not totally destro-"

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." Shego rolled her eyes, pinching the mad scientist's lips together. "You'll still make 'em fireproof right?"

"Mgh." Drakken mumbled, slapping Shego's hand away. "That does sound like an excellent feature. Though it'll take time."

"Ugh." Shego shrugged. "Drewby, you're so thick you could take a nuke to the face."

"Yes, now if you'll let me get to wor- did you just call me 'Drewby'?

"But I have needs and you're doing it anyway."

Shego smiled hungrily - happily as she grabbed the sides of the confused Drakken's face and pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss quickly deepened between the two villains with the stunned Drakken quickly melting into it, wrapping his hands around her waist before pulling away.

"Shego, the lair is barely holding together as it is."

"Yeah, well..." Shego smirked back, jokingly looking at the fully intact secret lab. "Here looks fine. Besides, I'd probably do less damage in here than out there. You've seen me right?"

"Yes, shego." Drakken sighed, backing away a step. "You've made it very clear how annoyed you are being the only girl on the island and how it effects the red peons. What, you want me to hire some female henchmen or something?"

"Uhhh... not what I'm talking about." Shego said slowly gesturing down her frame. "Have you seen me, today?"

"Huh..." Drakken raised the left side of his unibrow, taking a closer look. Like most days, shego was wearing her iconic green and black catsuit. Like most times when Shego was about to pull it off for him, Drakken's eyes were glued to her large chest as the skin tight super latex clung to her, even though shego wasn't sticking it out. Drakken caught on when shego pointed at her hip. Looking down Drakken saw what he thought was a matching belt, but really it was a roll of something pressed under the catsuit bulging against the latex. "Shego?"

"I've got a surprise for you." Shego beamed at Drakken as she unbuttoned her collar, pulling the zipper under it just enough to show some skin. "Its something I've wanted to try for a long time. I wanna show you."

"Sooo many possibilities."

"And you get to do the unwrapping." Shego smiled, pulling away from the zipper. Drakken reached for it only for his hand to be gently swatted. "With your teeth."

"This is like a dream I had, someone slap me." Shego smirked, bent around him and smacked Drakken right on the behind. "I-I asked for that."

"Doc."

"Gah." Drakken bit the zipper and pulled it down the line between the different colored halves of her catsuit. After a few inches Drakken could feel the unnatural heat of her body against his face, but when Drakken got to the curve of the design at the center of her chest, instead of seeing some kind of lingerie or bikini, Drakken saw a spread of black material with a curved 'C' on it. "What?"

"When I raided the GJ safe house this morning for the repair bots, they had a caterer." Shego explained. "Hard Baked Coven. Witch chick with a cooking theme."

"Lamest. Hero. Ever." Drakken said, his face still down by her chest, enjoying the view. Shego pressed his head against the 'C', smothering his face in her breasts. "Opphhh."

"Oh yeah!" Shego nodded, letting go of Drakken's head, who fell down to his knees in front of her. Shego eyed him, smirking as she slowly, teasingly unzipped the rest of the catsuit before sliding out of it completely. Revealing to Drakken a black cooking apron... and nothing else. The bottom half of it unwrapping revealing, with the top reading 'kiss the cook'. "You like it?"

"Uhhh, I-I didn't see this coming." Drakken admitted, his jaw hanging loose not unlike the Bebe robot just minutes before. "Can't believe you lifted it off her?"

"I lifted it because when we fought she was tossing molten metal at me." Shego explained, sticking her chest out as she tied the back of the apron, which Drakken noticed fit her almost as snuggly as the skin tight cat suit did. Shego had always been thee example of tall, dark, and sexy for the villain community. From her long curvy legs, thick thighs, generous waist, and the largest breasts either hero or villain had ever seen. Part of her powers or not, every inch of Shego's body was covered in strong athletic muscle, which if anything only added to her inhuman beauty. So when shego tied the apron around her body, it showed just enough to entice but more than plenty to tease. Showing plenty of cleavage and side-boob along with most of her legs. To Drakken, it was sexier than any lingerie could ever be. "With these."

"Oven mitts?" Drakken asked as Shego slipped the dark gloves on. "You're really going all out with this 'sexy house wife' thing."

"Think about it Drak, she was hurling red hot melted steel at me. These things can take my plasma." Shego explained, patting his head before sliding the mitten down his cheek. "I'm full blast right now."

"Gah!" Drakken flinched, staring at the glove in fear, bracing to have his face melted off, only to realize he could feel no heat. Just the cold fabric of the mitten. Turning back to Shego, his eyes bulged as a smile grew on his face. "Oh my god."

"Right!" Shego laughed, her voice echoing inside the small lab. "Now, can you read the apron?"

"Kiss th-" Drakken began before he saw Shego lift up the bottom of the apron, Drakken's eyes darted to the sight of shego's dipping wet bright green folds. "Cophhh."

"COOOK!" Shego grabbed the back of Drakken's head and shoved his face between her legs. "Kiss the cook Doc!"

Drakken was all to happy to do so, reaching behind shego and grabbing her ample behind, his tiny fingers slinking into the softness as he landed a first smooch. Shego whimpered at his tease, shoving his face harder in. Drakken took the hint and opened his mouth so his unnaturally long tongue came out for a lick.

"O-oh, ohhh."

Shego stammered, gripping the back of Drakken's head as tight as she could through the super mittens, while she wrapped her left leg over his shoulder and dangled down his back for easier access, as Drakken continued licking. Even though only her hands generated energy blasts, the rest of shego's body was unnaturally hot, and Drakken was feeling the heat. Because of that the mad scientist picked up the pace with his tongue. Shego, helping along, rubbed Drakken's face back and forth until his nose was right where she needed it to be.

"R-Ri-right there! Right th-there!" Shego shrieked, eyes shot wide open, a little drool dripping down the side of her mouth. Leaning on Drakken to keep her up, shego stammered. "W-waited, for s-so long."

"Gre-blu blah." Drakken grumbled, unbutton his belt. "Meh grahl."

"Huh, Do-" Shego asked, only for Drakken to scoop her up off the floor and carrying her until Drakken's thighs ran into the chrome lab table. Drakken groaned, shoving the robot girl's torso off and dumping Shego on its silver surface, the super villainess laughing all the way. "Wooo, ha ha!"

"Dthego!" Drakken roared, towering above her. Through her laughter, shego could see the price for her pleasure. Drakken's nose was a darker blue, with a few blotches spread out along his face, his unnaturally large tongue was a dark purple and limply hanging out of his mouth. Drakken's entire face was giving off a light steam. "Thow me'em tiths!"

Drakken grabbed the top sides of Shego's stolen apron and crumbled the top of it together between her large t-tis. Drakken's eyes widened at the sight of Shego's light green nipples staring back at him, her perky pale green pear shaped breasts bouncing around in recoil. Drakken bit his numb tongue as he shoved his pants down before wrapping his arm around the muscular thick thigh of Shego's leg still hanging off his shoulder and slammed his big blue egg plant in.

"Ahhh, yes!" Shego yelled, gripping the edge of the lab table as Drakken bounced her off it with his every thrust. Shego tossed her head back as she wrapped her other leg around Drakken's waste. "Oh gawd."

"Cweemy gween tiths!" Drakken growled, his tiny hand grabbing Shego's breast hard, his little fingers sinking in. "Tho thight."

"Pound me doc!" Shego screamed, pulling herself toward Drakken with her hands still gripping he the table and her legs pulling him toward her. "Harder!"

Darkken was more than happy to oblige, thrusting in his partner hard and fast, his eyes jiggling with with Shego's green nipples with each bounce, all but mesmerized- hypnotized by the sight. Soon enough the bolts holding down the lab table came loos and started rocking back and forth. The green villainess's screams echoed like blasts bombs in the small room as Drakken let out a roar.

"Big beauthiphhul thiths!"

Drakken slammed into Shego, her inhumanly legs all but squeezing him like the jaws of life as he pulled her against him with all his might, snapping off one of the leg bolts for the lab table. For a moment that felt like eternity to them both they stayed like that, one's eyes crossed, the other's glazed over before Drakken finally took a breath and broke away. Shego wasn't far behind, letting out a great sigh of relief as her legs slithered off the mad scientist like a pair of green snakes. Shaking her head to regain her focus, Shego looked up and saw that Drakken's member was an even darker shade of purple than his tongue, with small heatwaves coming off it.

"Drak, are you-" Shego started, only to stop when she saw Drakken lean down and pull a large bottle of purple goo from the lab table's cabinet. Shego raised an eye brow as she saw Drakken unscrew its cap and douse his member with its content. Drakken let out a sight of relief almost as loud as when he was inside her. "Holy crap. Drew, are you okay?"

"Rrrgh, thrun ovahh." Drakken lisped, his eyes still firmly on Shego's breasts as he dropped the bottle onto the floor. Shego tilted her head at his words, her head still dazed. Drakken didn't wait for her as he flipped the green villainess over on the silver slab, her behind in the air and her legs hanging off. Shego laughed as she looked behind her, a hungry smile on her face as she saw Drakken grab he waist. "Gorguth gween atthh!"

"Get what you came for Drakky!"

As the two continued where they left, unbeknownst to them both, the the ruby red eyes of a baby blue robot head shined bright crimson as it looked down from it's shelf at its masters.