A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back with a short but pretty dark/depressing story, so I'm warning you all in advance. In spite of that, I hope you still enjoy it and a shout out to I-heard-seeing-is-believing for this chapter coming out now instead of later.
Aang's POV:
We turn into the dining room to find the forlorn expression on everyone's faces. Katara and I glance at each other in concern. She quickly helps me onto one of the chairs and I voice out my worry when no one acknowledges our presence.
"Are you guys alright?" Zuko places his head into his hands, shaking it in the process. I throw a questioning look to Sokka who just shakes his head in remorse as if his eyes are in a daze. So at last I turn to Toph who must have felt my vibrations as she sighs heavily.
"The crazy princess has broken out and we've got news of the death of two Earth Kingdom nobles and a Fire Nation noble who were hit by those arrows in the Fire Nation." I faintly hear Katara's gasp as I feel my world crashing down or more specifically the overwhelming guilt. 'This is all my fault, I should've saved them. I was there! But what did I do? Let myself get hit and pass out. Some great Avatar I am. All I'm great in is failure. Now what will happen to the families of those nobles? Poverty and mourning.' I shake my head and soon a familiar sharp pain in my chest returns. I grasp my arms tightly in anger and pain. 'I wish that dumb arrow did what it was supposed to do.'
"So what do we do now?" At Katara's question I perk up slightly in interest.
"We're still waiting for responses from the other nations. And we're waiting for more information about Auzla's whereabouts. As soon as we find her hideout we'll go and put a stop to her and her so called army." The pony-tailed warrior states while leaning back on his chair. Zuko chooses that moment to look up with a disgruntled expression.
"I can kiss the Fire Nation's good reputation goodbye. The Earth Kingdom is going to kill me!" Zuko's outburst causes me to sink further into my seat as my self-hatred triples. Katara watches the Firelord's broken posture with concern and moves closer to him till she puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. I look away, the sight of their closeness makes me feel shamefully nauseous.
"Now Zuko, it's not your fault that this has happened." The Master Waterbender urges, however the Firelord runs his hands through his messy hair in anxiety.
"Yes it is. It was my responsibility to protect every individual that stepped foot into my nation. I should've had guards surrounding the premises, the doors!" As Zuko stresses the word responsibility I can't help but to voice my burning thoughts.
"No Zuko, it wasn't your responsibility, it was mine." Everyone turns to look at me in surprise until Zuko shakes his head vigorously.
"How...?!" I put a hand up to stop Zuko in his tracks.
"You shouldn't have had to put guards, I was there and that should have been enough! But did I stop those deaths? No I didn't. I'm meant to be the Avatar, saviour of the world, but I couldn't even protect myself. So don't go blaming yourself. You relied on me and I let you down." I regretfully say as I clench my hands on the table into fists. But as soon as I utter these words Sokka jumps to his feet, knocking down his chair in his haste.
"Now hold on a second, you went down because you were protecting me. If anything it's my fault for not focusing on my surroundings." I clench my jaws tightly at Sokka's argument and before I realise it I slam my fist on the table so hard that the plates on it jumps up and clatters as it lands in sync with everyone jumping in shock.
"But I could've just Airbended that arrow away from you! Don't you get it Sokka? I jumped in front of that arrow with the full knowledge and intention of getting hit." I stop my shouting and break off into a whisper as I see everyone's eyes widen, in which a variety of emotions pass through them but rage, disbelief and hurt are the most prominent. I no longer am able to take the looks they send me and I drop my head down in shame, not wanting them to find out yet finding I couldn't help spitting it out.
"So you... intended to kill yourself?" Sokka's broken tone makes me grasp the edge of the table so tightly that my knuckles go white, but I nod regardless.
"But why?" I nearly look up at Toph's exasperated tone but I force myself to stare hard at the table, hating that I put myself in this situation. Suddenly I feel the urge to leave the table and away from its confinement. I know that I can't bend myself away like I did before so instead I settle on standing up shakily on my legs. But as soon as I do so Sokka and Toph are at my sides in moments and both grasp my arms in fear that I'll do a runner. I try to shake them off, but it hurts enough to stand.
"I'm not going to run off!" I say in frustration.
"How do we know that?!" Toph hisses in my ear. I grind my teeth but don't make any effort to respond. "Tell us why you wanted to kill yourself?!" Toph semi-shouts at me, I flinch but keep silent. Soon both Zuko and Katara walk towards us till they stand a few metres in front of me.
"Aang just tell us why. Don't you know how much that would've hurt us and how chaotic the world would've become?" Katara's soft yet accusatory voice makes me back up slightly away from her, but Sokka and Toph keep a tight grip on me.
"Aang what's going on in your head?! You knew about this Sniper group, you chose not to tell us and now you decided to leave us to deal with something we know near to nothing about! Where's your sense gone?!" Zuko's holler makes me gulp but I refuse to meet the burning fire in his eyes, in all their eyes. I remain silent. My silence must have been what broke the dam in Sokka.
"Aang for the love of spirits talk to us!" Sokka screeches so loudly with such raw emotion that I feel it pierce my heart as both he and Toph squeeze each of my arms so firmly to stop me from running away.
"Fine!" I shout back with equal ferocity that it causes both friends to let go simultaneously. I take a few shaky steps, giving my back to them. I sense as they step closer ready to grab me if I shoot off. My shoulders begins shaking, it starts with just twitching and then ends with violent uncontrollable shakes as I try so hard to hold in my tears, to keep my voice steady. I sense as they stop walking, frozen. "You want me to talk to you guys so bad? Well here you have it...I HATE MYSELF!" My scream echoes loudly in the room. I drop my head down.
"All I do is cause destruction and if I'm not doing that, then I'm turning my back on everyone, the whole world. I'm utterly useless. I am the worst Avatar in existence who can't do anything right. I couldn't even save my own, h...how can I save the world?" Finally I can't hold myself up anymore and I drop down to my knees in anguish, my hands out in front of me, my glazed eyes glued to the floor as tears spill over my cheeks and hit the floor.
"Just continue hating me. I don't think I deserve to live anyway."
Toph's POV:
The trio and I just stare at Aang in shock.
I shake my head in sadness, 'how did it all get so bad? Aang has reached a whole new level of hate and it's all towards himself. We've got to bring him out of it. As much as I despise what he did to us, as much as I don't want to forgive him, as much as I just want to run away and forget I even met the guy, I just can't stand and watch my friend to be hurting so badly.' I bite my lip.
'What I'm going to do will throw my whole strong exterior down the drain.' I sigh softly. 'My whole tough reputation is so going to go down the toilet, but... I'm going to have to do something and who says I can't beat the pain into whoever takes the mickey after this is all over?' So I leave Sokka and Zuko's side and crouch down beside Aang on one knee. I reach out and place a gentle hand on his shaking shoulders, but it seems he doesn't even acknowledge mine or anyone else's presence. He's wrapped so tightly in his own world of self-hatred. Soon Sokka stands on his left side and Zuko and Katara in front of him while I remain on his right.
"Listen Aang, you are not on your own. We don't hate you, and we are going to get through this with you." The last Airbender shakes his head.
"No. You can't. You should hate me and I understand why. I deserve it because I'm this rotten human being who deserves to die." I recoil slightly at the venom in his voice, but as Zuko, Katara and I remain speechless, Sokka is squatting down and takes his position in front of Aang as Zuko wordlessly steps back. The pony-tailed warrior places firm hands on the young Avatar's shoulders and begins shaking him hard.
"No, I will not listen to you disregard yourself! You are more than you think. Have you forgotten who you are? Since you have, I'll enlighten you. You, Aang are the one who ended the 100 year war, you set up a united city, crime rates have gone down because of you! You are the last Airbender, the only one who can control the very air itself. You saved us all from a life of suffocation and dreariness. You've saved the world before and I know you will do it again. You saved us and it's our time to save you. If none of this has gone through your thick skull, then you are deafer than I thought. Now, are you going to sit around here moping all day or are you going to rise up and save the world again from these so-called Snipers?" I watch in awe at Sokka's speech ('I mean, it's Snoozles, he usually just falls apart at speeches') as he gets up and stretches out a hand for Aang to take. I fix my unseeing gaze back on Aang as I feel a variety of emotions flickering through him, finally he shakes his head and takes Sokka's hand to get up. I rise up beside him.
"Sokka...thanks. I needed that. There's a long way to go before I change what I feel, but I can't sit around and do nothing while people get killed." Katara moves in and squeezes Aang's hand in support. While Zuko stretches out a hand towards the Airbender's shoulder, resting on it briefly while giving a gentle squeeze.
"We're going to help you Aang. You're not on your own, not anymore." The Avatar gives a nod to the Firelord, a determined expression graces his face.
"Let's do this."
A/N: Well there you have it, a pretty short chapter compared to my others. I apologise if it's too dark, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. Please review, it's the best way to make me update faster, not to mention I enjoy reading them. Hope you all have a great day! I'll try to get my next update as quick as I can, sometime this month, I hope.
1/8/18
