A/N: First update of the New Year! Well, I had some spare time on my hands so I got this out to you guys to make up for my previously bad updating. I hope you enjoy it.
Katara's POV:
"I guess you guys are silently telling me that it's my turn to talk, right?" We nod mutely, and although I don't want to push him, my burning curiosity runs too deep to tell him he doesn't have to speak to us if he doesn't want to. So I find myself ashamed when I see Sokka placing his hand above Aang's tight fist.
"Aang, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. We understand how hard it must have been and that you don't want to be reminded of it." At my brother's reassuring words I feel guilt envelop me, 'I should be the one excusing him and not the one pushing. Spirits, the years have turned me into a right jerk.' I watch as the young Avatar clenches his eyes tightly before quickly opening them and releasing a breath he must have been holding. He shakes his head at Sokka.
"No, that's not fair on you all. You've all shared with me your times of grief and it wouldn't be reasonable if I just kept silent...I wouldn't be a good friend, not that I have been in a long time." I frown at Aang's belittling words and I stretch out my arm towards him, giving his fist a comforting squeeze. He shoots me a sad smile and I withdraw. "I won't tell you the details, it's still too painful. But I'll tell you briefly what's been going on and...I'll let you each ask one question. I'm sure you all have lots." At this my ears perk up at this unexpected turn. Glancing at everyone else I find their mouths open in shock and we all simultaneously nod our heads vigorously.
"Agreed." The Firelord speaks up for all of us. The young Airbender takes in a shaky breath and nods.
"Ok. Erm I did a lot of traveling, but I always tried to rest at night at one of the Air Temples. I realised how damaged they were and wanted to fix that and revert them back to their former glory. So I started, but...it turned out to be wasted effort since the assassins wrecked havoc every time they came, so I put a halt to any work on them. Once the nations became more at peace with each other my traveling became less frequent. I took up residence at the Western Air Temple due to its proximity to the Fire Nation. And that's pretty much it. If I wasn't traveling to meetings then I was at the Air Temple or making sure things were going smoothly and that the treaties were being upheld. That's it." I furrow my eyebrows at the very brief account and try to ignore my disappointment at Aang for brushing off the assassination attempts.
"Can I ask the first question?" I blink and turn to Zuko whose face is taut with seriousness. Aang pauses for a moment before nodding hesitantly. "I'm assuming that the assassinations all took place at the Air Temple right?" The young Avatar nods and then tilts his head to prompt the Firelord to continue. "Why only you? If their plan was to assassinate all the world leaders and those who helped end the war, then why did they only target you?" Aang nods thoughtfully.
"Good question. I didn't know either till my last two encounters with them. They heard my confession of not being friends with you guys. I didn't have any other friends, so they knew I would be on my own and I wasn't likely to tell anyone because of the...disarray of our friendship. They knew I would be the hardest to get rid of, so they started with me. I recently found out that every time they attacked me they were learning my strategies, the way I bend. They have over three years of information on the way I fight and have formed an elite group that pushes on each of my weaknesses. The last time was the first time I fought this group, it was difficult. Another reason, which I believe is the main one is..." Aang closes his eyes briefly and looks uncomfortable. "...they want to get rid of the Avatar, permanently. They think the world is better off without one. I presume that they kept attacking me in the hope that I would eventually resort to using the Avatar State so that they could finally put an end to the Avatar." I look on aghast at this news while everyone else gasps in shock.
"That's ridiculous!" At my brother's exclamation we all murmur our agreement. The young Avatar simply shrugs.
"It is what it is."
"My turn; how often did they attack and how many were there?" Sokka states despondently.
"Sokka that's two questions!" The young Airbender jokes.
"Oh come on! They're practically related." Aang rolls his eyes.
"Fine, just this once. Initially they attacked a couple of times a week, but for the last three years it was every day. Usually each attack consisted of two to four assassins. And they were always different, I never saw the same guy more than once, which is why I believe there's a large number of them." My heart clenches uncomfortably for Aang. 'He didn't deserve this and he shouldn't have gone through it on his own, if only we saw through his facade of lies, we wouldn't have been so hurt and mad at him which meant we would've spotted that something was amiss.'
Aang's POV:
"Gosh everyday Aang? How did you cope?" I breathe deeply thinking of the most honest response to Sokka's question.
"I didn't. I barely slept. They attacked at different times so I always had to be alert." However, I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth, especially as I see the distraught and troubled expressions on everyone's faces. I rush forward to reassure them. "I never slept much anyway, so what's a little less right?" I laugh anxiously, but Sokka shakes his head.
"I wish you told us. And we weren't making things easier for you either. Spirits I feel like a jerk." I sigh.
"Let's just forget about it, we can't change the past anyway."
"Just because we can't change it doesn't mean it doesn't exist." I divert my attention to Katara whose displeased expression makes me sigh inwardly.
"I know, but not thinking about it means it hurts less. So what's your question Katara? I'm sure you've got plenty." My Sifu seems to be taken aback from my unexpected change of direction but she shakes herself out of her daze and nods seriously.
"What was the worst injury you've received from the assassins?" This time it's my turn to be taken aback as I look at her anxiously and I bite my lip in worry. I discreetly glance at everyone else to see the same expression of curiosity and concern.
"Spirits Katara you had to ask the hard one?" I ask annoyed, but Toph punches my arm hard.
"Ow Toph, what was that for? I'm still injured." I moan while rubbing my sore arm.
"Quit your whining and stop dodging the question!" I blink and shake my head.
"Wow, be careful Toph, it sounded like you really care." I watch carefully as my Earthbending Sifu clenches her fist tightly, but instead of the lashing I expect she drops the volume of her voice.
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care." Toph says softly, causing my eyes to bulge, until I recall that although Toph doesn't enjoy showing her affection, it doesn't mean she doesn't care any less; she's still concerned, which should've been obvious from the way she exploded at me a few days ago. 'Spirits I knew I hurt her but I wonder how much? Does she still believe what I said? Or has she realised that I was just lying?' As tempted I am to ask, I decide to do it later when it's just the two of us.
"You're right, I shouldn't have said that, I was just trying to lighten the mood." I pause, waiting for her response but she simply stares blankly at me. I purse my lips before sighing. "The worst injury I experienced was 18 months ago. I...there was about ten of them and they were good. 4 of them jumped me while I was fighting the other six. They slashed my back with some sort of sword. Each time I tried to get rid of some of them, the others took advantage of my lack of attention on them."
"But why didn't you just go into the Avatar State?" Sokka questions in confusion, I hum in thought.
"I knew they wanted my death, so I didn't want to risk ending the Avatar cycle if they succeeded in killing me whilst I was in the Avatar State; good thing too since that was their aim all along. Anyway, I passed out after a blow to my gut. Fortunately, I later woke up to find a friend had come to visit and intervened before they...finished me off."
"But how did he take out 10 assassins when you couldn't? And you've taken out more than 10 people before with no problem, why not then?" Zuko asks in perplexity.
"And who is this friend? Is it Kyla?" Katara grinds out, her tone coated with obvious envy. The sudden barrage of questions makes me slide my hand down my face in frustration.
"I told you guys I'll answer just one question and you've already asked yours and I've answered them. Ask her how she did it, I wasn't awake to see what she did and I didn't ask. And yes it was Kyla. Happy now?" I see jealousy and hurt swarm in Katara's eyes before she takes a deep breath and nods.
"But you didn't say the extent of your injuries." I bite my lip at Katara's soft probing. I drop my eyes to my lap, focussing on twiddling my thumbs.
"It was bad. You can say that it permanently marked me and stole a chunk of my time." As soon as I finish my sentence I hear Sokka gasp and as I turn my head to him I spot his wide eyes.
"Wait a second, 18 months ago...there was a period of time when I didn't see you for the longest time. I mean I was used to not seeing you for weeks on end, but I didn't see you for months. If I recall correctly there were a few meetings you missed. I just thought you were busy or avoiding us. But were you actually recovering?" I feel the blood drain from my face, and fear rises up in me because I don't want to reveal how badly hurt I really was, how many times I was close to just drifting off and never coming back, how I still struggle with the after effects. I force my rapid heartbeat to slow down and to act as if his words had no effect on me. I clear my throat to buy me some time to sort out my tangled thoughts.
"Sokka you've already had your question." I say as offhandedly as I can manage but even then it comes out as a bite, I wince as I see Sokka flinch at my tone. "I...sorry, I shouldn't have snapped, I just don't like remembering. I...it was pretty bad and it took a while for me to get back on my feet." I observe as Sokka's eyes glaze over slightly.
"Aang you were gone for 6 months." I cringe at Sokka's accusatory whisper. While Toph and Katara snaps their heads towards the warrior.
"6 months?" Katara whispers, her clear eyes becoming watery before she quickly blinks the beginnings of a tear away and her expression hardens rapidly as she shoots me a stern gaze. "This could've been avoided if you just told us!" I bite back the retort on my lips.
"I couldn't." I glance to my right to see Sokka and Zuko in their own quiet conversation but I only catch the tail end of it.
"...actually listened to me? I thought you weren't paying attention."
"As if I could actually pretend that the Avatar not being seen by anyone for 6 months is common news!" The Firelord merely responds to Sokka's statement by raising an eyebrow in which the young warrior just shrugs and looks back at me. A nudge brings me out of my musing and I turn to face the blind Earthbender.
"Why couldn't you?" I blink at the question, forgetting what we were previously talking about.
"Huh?"
"Why couldn't you tell us what was going on? I thought we were all friends, family even. You've always been so open with us, why not with this?" I gulp hard, suddenly finding my throat dry.
"I don't want to talk about it." I say carefully, but Toph's defiant posture reveals she's not willing to back down.
"No, you promised each of us an answer to one of our questions and this is mine. But your promises were always empty ones." I reel back in shock, hurt passes through my eyes at her blunt words, but she's the only one who won't see it. I hang my head.
"I would've thought you knew the answer to that question. Protection and all that."
"Cut out the lies. I want the truth!" Toph snaps causing me to jump slightly, my eyes flash with anger at her accusation.
"Oh you think I actually enjoyed lying to you and everyone? That I enjoyed telling you all I feel great, that I'm not tired, that you shouldn't be worried about me? Do you know how hard it was for me not to spill? Spirits Toph! I found it difficult to pin them down! If I found it difficult how would you cope, being restricted to only one bending type or with things shooting towards you from the air where you can't see them?! I kept telling myself as long as you guys are safe I don't need to say anything, I can handle it on my own without you guys putting yourselves at risk. But the day before I ran off, I faced them again, they threatened to target you guys to get to me...I was...I found my opportunity to run off, to keep you guessing and did the worldwide announcement to keep the assassins off your backs, so that they had no leverage over me...and it worked." I state, staring hard at my lap.
"So you never intended to tell us?" I bite my cheek as I hear the hostility in Toph's question.
"Toph, you've had your question." As soon as the words spill out from my mouth, Toph jumps to her feet and storms off but not before shouldering me hard. I hiss in pain as my aching muscles becomes more pronounced 'i guess the painkillers are wearing off, unfortunately.' I grimace, looking in the direction that she stormed off in. 'I wonder if it was better for me to have been left alone in my misery.'
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the angst. Please review, I would really appreciate it :) Happy New Year to everyone! Hope this year will be filled with lots of happiness.
8/1/19
