The afternoon sun was high in the sky and it was a beautiful day to die.

Dipper's shift was over, he was driving home and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he listened to his usual jazz station. He didn't have school today but his schedule worked out nicely when it came to dividing time between the two. Made things easier for him, though he found he didn't normally have a lot of time to spend with his family. But when he did, which was mostly on weekends after work since there was no school, they were all he cared about.

It felt nice to have a routine. After his days of wallowing in self-pity, he was grateful for a little joy and order in his life. And now, after years of distance, Mabel had come back into his life. It would take a little while to get used to it again, but he missed her and couldn't wait to start putting all the pieces of his life back together. Even Bill got to be a part of it again. There was no force in the universe he could thank enough for that. Things finally felt like they were going back to normal.

Dipper pulled into his driveway and everything felt alright. Mabel's car was there, though it was parked in his place and he had to park part of the way on the sidewalk, he thought mildly cynically to himself. He could see his small family sitting in the living room. Pacifica, Atlantica, and Mabel all in one place; it made his heart swell with happiness. The only thing it was missing for everything to be perfect was - of course - Bill.

He clued back into reality when Mabel's frantic waving and the glint of Pacifica's faux diamond necklace in the sun beams caught his eye. He smiled and waved back and only realized when Mabel made the 'come on' motion that it was his house and he could walk right inside and greet them if he wanted to. A very teeny tiny part of him decided he would rather summon Bill and have another talk with him - maybe about his day at work - instead, but the sane two-thirds of him carried himself inside.

"Welcome to the estrogen-fest, Dipper," Mabel greeted, elbowing her brother in the side with a beaming grin lighting up her face. "Can I get ya anything? Some eggs to go with that sausage?"

"Mabel!" Dipper flushed, covering Atlantica's ears. "We're in polite company!"

"I would hope Pacifica knows or you're both probably a bit confused as to how that," Mabel gestured to Atlantica, "got here."

"Lighten up, Dipper, it's not like she's old enough to understand it yet," said Pacifica as she handed Dipper their child. He cradled the infant in his arms, softly stroking her hair.

"Yeah well," he grumbled playfully and rolled his eyes, "we should kick the habit."

Mabel flopped into the couch and kicked her feet up onto the glass coffee table wherein a number of goldfish were swimming gaily in its base. Pacifica sat down (more gently) beside her and clicked on the TV to a background noise volume. It had become habit to keep Atlantica's waters calm.

"That's our Dipper - always looking on the dull side of life. Serious as a snake, grumpy as a-"

"Not that I don't love your visits, Mabes," Dipper interjected, cutting off her word chain before it began, "but why are you here?"

"Oh yeah! Your old b...uddy," Mabel's eyes flicked to Pacifica and she nonchalantly cleared her throat, "stopped by to visit me today."

"Wait, Bill?"

Mabel gave him a dumb look. She shook her head and shrugged, "Yeah, it was the weirdest thing. Just showed up and told me I 'might want to evacuate the premises'," she explained with air quotes. "Pfft, whatever that means."

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "It's Bill," he shrugged, "he does weird stuff. What do you expe-"

"Shh!" Pacifica shushed and reached to turn up the TV. The twins just caught sight of the large BREAKING NEWS as it faded from the screen and into a serious looking news caster. The music silenced.

A headline appeared at the bottom of the screen reading SUBURBAN HOUSE IMPLODES, catching Dipper's attention in a flash. As the reporter spoke, he moved to sit beside his wife with his daughter nestled in his lap.

"Police are baffled," the woman said. "Moments ago, a video that was taken from a civilian's iphone was sent into the authorities. Police were stunned and thoroughly confused when the video revealed what seemed to be an ordinary house collapsing into itself and then simply disappearing into thin air." The screen was taken to the video in question, a wind-blown and slightly pixelated portrait recording of what was undoubtedly Bill Cipher's handiwork - one, because it was clearly a magical force against nature, and two, because what other being would go through such great lengths to get a job done?

"My house!" Mabel screeched, shoving her brother and sister-in-law to either side in horror. After the clip ended, the news caster spoke up again.

"Investigations on this terrifying occurrence are underway. Police suspect there may have been casualties."

"Well, I guess that does take care of it," Dipper uttered to himself, somewhat lost in a dream about Bill's extremism.

"I just signed a two-year lease on that!"

"Look on the bright side, you won't have to worry about Edwin anymore," he offered gingerly. Clearly lending to his less bright side.

"Dipper, that's my house! What am I supposed to do? Go home and live in the hole?" his sister retorted snappily.

"O-Oh! Yeah, no, sorry, I guess you can't exactly do that - you can stay here if you need to, I suppose," he said sheepishly, eyes darting to Pacifica as if to confirm it with her. She agreed.

"Just don't disturb Atlantica," Pacifica added with a layer of sass in her voice. Mabel smiled and put a hand on both their shoulders.

As she was about to thank them, a rose of blue flames bloomed and burst into glowing golden bricks and became Bill Cipher, hovering just in front of the television. Clapping the dust off his hands, he mused at the three fleshbags sitting across from him.

"Guess what you're all accomplices to!" he said, chipper as always.

"Bill!" the twins shouted in sync with varying levels of anger.

"What are you doing here?" Dipper said with abashed shock, eying his wife nervously. He shrugged at her and shook his head, mouthing, "I have no idea why he's h- you would not believe how shocked I am right now!"

"What the heckskies did you do to my house?" Mabel outraged.

"You're welcome," Bill admonished. "Here, I know you humans have attachments to inanimate objects so I brought you a souvenir." From behind his back, Bill retrieved a lone red brick that was about a fourth his size and dropped it to the ground at Mabel's feet. "You don't have to thank me." Mabel was so furious she was at a loss for words, her jaw was practically on the ground and her hands were thrown up into the air.

"Okay, okay, I know you were told to take care of Edwin, but this was not the way to do it!" Mabel ran her hands through her long hair and clenched her fists in it. "I don't even care that he's dead, but did you have to wreck my house, you abominable equilateral?"

"Sheesh, can you believe this girl, Pine Tree?" Dipper's ears perked up, there was a very tiny sparkle in his eye that not even Bill caught. But he didn't have to. "After all I've done for her - completely free on her end - and here I am getting lip! The nerve!"

"I don't believe this. It's not even about that. He just - ugh! Replace my house or give me compensation, you dumb polygon!"

From behind her, a tiny voice spoke, "I... I don't know, Mabel, he kinda has a point."

The girls gaped in unison.

"'What?'," "'Excuse me?'," they said. Dipper felt smaller than a mouse. His face began shading pink; he rubbed the back of his neck. Bill looked smug.

"Y-you know, he did do the job, didn't he? And it's not like he framed us as murderers or conspirators or anything. It was sorta nice of him to do that, if you a-"

"Dipper Pines, do you hear yourself right now?" Pacifica belted, jumping to her feet with the stamp of her foot. "Appreciate your family, Dipper, you're lucky to have such a good sister. Don't side with him!"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled shamefully, yet insincerely. Pacifica carefully removed her daughter from her deranged husband's possession. A moment passed with the girls muttering to each other. Dipper watched them timidly. His mouth welded shut by his wife's outburst, he resigned to glancing at Bill. The demon was watching him back, gazing appreciatively, and it lit a tiny flame in Dipper's belly. "But you know," he continued abruptly, "beggars can't be choosers. It's not Bill's fault he's psychotic! Just because Mabel is my sister doesn't mean I have to side with her." Two appalled sets of eyes locked on him. "I'm an adult now, I-I can make my own decisions. And I think you two should give him a break. He did the job, and it could have been worse. I mean, honestly, what did you expect from Bill freaking Cipher? Going back in time and changing the past? We learned years ago why that's a terrible idea!"

"Thank you, Pine Tree," Bill said, clapping, "at least someone around here appreciates my hard work and good will." Bill put on a small show for the group, showering Dipper in flowers and gold. Tiny nuggets rained over him, sounding similar to small rocks hitting the hardwood floors; while roses and daisies fluttered down gently, some of which landing in his hair. A twinge of regret knotted in Dipper's stomach, embarrassment reddening his cheeks. He stared ahead at the girls as they stood with their arms folded and faces cross. With shoulders tense, he gulped and stood frozen like a deer caught in headlights.

"Y-Yeah. Uh, Bill?" he choked, uneasy with the turning of his stomach. Bill coiled an arm around him, reeling himself into Dipper's shoulder and taking him in a side-hug.

"Yes, my dearest and most loyal - yet dishonest and manipulative - friend?"

Dipper was hesitant.

"Not that I don't value your friendship," he said through gritted teeth and brows furrowed, "but I need to talk to the girls alone for a minute."

"Sure, fine," said Bill, releasing Dipper from his bind and retreating into the gleaming light he'd manifested whilst no one was looking. "You need your 'family' time, I dig the human style." He pointed at Mabel, "Just remember, I did what you asked, Shooting Star, I'm not the bad guy here." Retreating into the light, he uttered his usual 'reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!' and vanished in a burst of flames.

The bubble of slumber that encased the room popped and everyone awoke with a start. Silence loomed for a few moments of uncomfortable staring. Mabel rubbed her eyes.

"Dipper, what the heck was that?" she admonished.

"I-"

"You totally undermined us, Dipper, that wasn't okay," Pacifica said, too.

"Listen, I know it was a bit out of line, but I mean come on guys - Edwin has been taken care of, we're not connected to it, and we're unharmed."

"'Unharmed'? I'm homeless!"

"Well... yeah, but-"

"Nothing good ever comes of your crazy conspiracies with that no good triangle. Someone always goes into a coma or becomes homeless and you always take his side!" she crossed her arms and turned her back to her twin.

"Hey!" Dipper snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at her, "I'm not the one who broke into their twin's house in the middle of the night begging for help because you can't handle your own relationship drama. You asked my help and I did what I could. I can't help it if it's not exactly how you wanted it to turn out!"

"You could have helped me yourself or gotten another demon, but no it just had to be Bill because you can't get over your dumb obsessive complex with him!"

Dipper's face flushed beet red, his breath hitched in his chest, and his heart skipped a beat. His eyes flicked to Pacifica, whose face was unchanging. He clenched his fists at his sides and shook his head silently before turning and storming out of the room.

All the way up the stairs, he marched with a fiery fury surrounding him. He yanked the cord for the hatch that led up to the attic. One of the secrets he'd sworn only to himself. The ladder came down and he climbed up into his makeshift shine room.

Papers lined the walls, depicting drawings upon drawings of Bill's image. In two corners adjacent to each other sat golden-painted statues of him with all six arms stretched out and holding their respective items. He'd 'borrowed' the original one from Ford's house and had copies made of it.

Around the black and gold painted summoning circle that Dipper had drawn himself ages ago when they'd first moved into this house was the Cipher wheel in white. A framed photo of Dipper with his eyes crossed out was sitting perfectly in the center of it all. He sat down in front of it and sighed, feeling a bit more relaxed in the company of his hyper-familiar surroundings. After what Bill had said before, he realized he would have to open a new portal for him to come through since not a single one of these would work.

He pulled out his wallet from his jeans and opened it to retrieve a scrap of writing paper. A photograph of his great uncle Stanford fell out by accident and he quickly returned it to its windowed slot. He drew Bill in a flash, as he'd become quite accustomed to doing so.

"Bill," he said, rolling his eyes, "come back. I want to apologize."

The paper at his fingertips glowed, but Bill remained in his own dimension.

"I'm listening," he said.

"Sorry I sorta had to shoo you out. I'm in big trouble with Mabel and Pacifica for taking your side."

"Congrats on your second set of parents, Pine Tree."

"Mabel's just upset right now," Dipper defended as Bill slipped out from the paper and into the human world, "and Pacifica is a little in shock after having the baby."

"So what you're saying is they're both crazy, right?"

"I... no. I don't know, okay? But how can I make it up to you?"

Oh, there were lots of ways Pine Tree was going to make up for his incompetence, but good things come to those who wait. Bill rubbed his figurative chin with an index and a thumb.

"Hm. Actually, Pines, I think I can let it slide."

"Wha- really?"

Bill laughed, "Yeah! In fact, I think as a measure to prevent that skinvelope larva of yours from developing that nasty trait, I'll give it a little gift!"

Dipper swallowed a bit of hesitance. "Like what, exactly?"

Bill shut his eye and chuckled, holding his arms out to either side. "The gift," he began. His eye shot open, beaming a searing white light through his lashes that nearly blinded Dipper who shielded his eyes from its brilliance; "of omniscience!" His voice boomed and echoed, reverberating off the wooden walls. A small spark of happiness lit deep within Dipper's chest. Bill was incredible. As the light dissipated, he unfolded his elbow from his face and looked at Bill in blank awe.

Bill shrugged, "Also she'll keep cats off the sofa." Dipper gave a crooked half-smile. "By killing them," he added last minute.

"Whatever," Dipper waved off mindlessly, clearly having not payed much attention to that last part, "just make sure Pacifica doesn't know about it. Or Mabel. Not yet, anyway. They wouldn't understand."

Bill rolled his eye and straightened his bow tie. "Unempathetic, secretive Dipper Pines. As if I would ever do anything to betray your trust."

Dipper frowned, staring up at the other helplessly.

"C'mon! I've got a baby to bless!"