A/N: I was hoping to get this out at the end of January but time kept running from me, but here it is! I hope you like it and warning A LOT of angst lies ahead!

Aang's POV:

I sigh, forcing myself to look back at everyone's solemn faces. "I guess I should go and talk to her." But as I begin to get up, a gentle yet firm hand rests on my shoulder, looking to my right I find Sokka shaking his head, a sad expression graces his face.

"Not now. It's best you let her cool down for a few hours." I glance down before looking back up again, as I express resignation at the suggestion.

"I guess you're right. I'll just go back to my room, maybe get some sleep or something." I regret the words as soon as I utter them, remembering that I confined to Sokka about my sleeping issues, fortunately all the young warrior does is hold my gaze for a moment longer before nodding, letting the matter slide.

"That's a good idea. You're welcome to come back and talk to us if you like after your nap." I nod and smile gratefully at him. I move to get up, pushing myself up onto unsteady feet.

"Do you want some help?" Zuko's sheepish question makes me pause for a minute.

"I'm alright, thank you. Better try to get used to using my limbs on my own." I say with a smile before slowly walking out of the room, through the corridor and finally into my room where I close the door and sink into my bed. 'Spirits that was brutal. Half of me regrets letting them ask questions, even if it was one each, but they needed this and...maybe so did I. Maybe this is what I need to help me get back to who I was. It's amazing how differently they all behaved, it's obvious Toph and Katara are still mad at me. Sokka is hurt but understanding and Zuko, well he's been behind me the whole time. Who would have thought the last person to join the gang would be the one to not lose hope in me?' As I entertain that thought, I find myself drifting off into a fitful sleep.

Few hours later...

I find myself returning back to the realm of consciousness as I feel my heart thudding almost painfully in my chest from yet another nightmare. Sighing I slowly get up and swing my legs to one side till they dangle over the bed's edge. I gently place my feet on the floor but to my surprise I find that the pain has subdued, I frown at this revelation, 'I thought it would take weeks to heal not a matter of days.' I shake my head, deciding to let my concern slide. I grab a pill and swallow it dry just in case.

Soon enough I'm on my feet walking out of my room and through the corridor. I find myself limping as the pain flares up my legs, I snort to myself, 'what a surprise.' As I reach Toph's closed door, I can sense her presence on the other side as she roughly punches something into submission. I go to knock on the closed door, but hesitate. At the end I sigh and turn on my heels, 'Toph wouldn't want to talk to me anyway, I don't know why I bothered.' I think bitterly as I begin to walk away.

"Aang?" I jump slightly at the sound of my name and turn to face the Earthbender.

"Erm hi?" I say unsurely, forgetting what I was planning to say. My befuddled attitude must have amused her as Toph leans against the door frame of her room with an eyebrow raised in curiosity. I scratch my head, waiting for a more verbal response from her.

"What do you want Aang?" The exasperation in my Sifu's voice makes me wish I didn't come, unfortunately there's no backing out now.

"I was wondering if you wanted to talk things out." I let my query hang in the air for a few moments but as silence ticks by with only Toph crossing her arms over her chest as any indication that she heard me, I begin to feel uneasy. "But I understand if you don't want to, you know, with me being a pain and all...so I'll just go. Forget I came." I say as I take a step back, but with my eyes still trained on Toph. She drops her arms to her sides and nods.

"Alright." I blink in surprise as the blind Earthbender goes into her room and then looks back to me. "Are you coming in or what?" I shake my head out of my daze and nod.

"Yeah, sorry." I stumble in as Toph closes the door behind me. I locate the bed and gingerly take a seat as the pain from standing diminishes and I barely hold in a sigh from the temporary relief. I look up to find Toph standing over me with arms once again crossed over her chest in a somewhat intimidating fashion.

"So talk." The blind Earthbender spits out. I flinch at her tone before slumping my shoulders.

"That's a bit vague...what do you want to know?"

"Let's start with something simple; when exactly did the first attempt take place? We were pretty much together all the time, I can't figure out when they would've been able to attack you without us around." I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth.

"About a month after the end of the war, when I volunteered to get food supplies while we were staying in the Earth Kingdom; I chose to take my glider instead of Appa. I had a feeling someone was following me and that was later confirmed when I was out in the countryside. I suspected that it wouldn't be the last time, so I made excuses to leave camp to test that theory and that was unfortunately proven correct." Toph nods stiffly before becoming hesitant to ask her next question but her blank face re-appears only seconds later.

"And what kind of injures did you sustain from these attempts over the years?" I suck in my breath as a string of memories flash before my eyes, and phantom pains spread like a wildfire across my whole body making me tremble; one particular memory of them holding me as they torture me with different instruments makes me shake particularly badly. In seconds Toph is by my side shaking me out of my flashbacks. "Aang!" I blink and realise how worried the usually fearless Toph looks. I push her back and reply as neutrally as I can.

"All sorts of things from broken bones to cuts...the usual." I stammer at the end, at which Toph's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline, 'probably from the blatant lie.' My mind helpfully supplies. She bites her lip for a moment before gazing away. She looks back at me and takes a seat beside me, her hand placed gently on my arm.

"Aang, really?" I stubbornly shake my head at the doubt in her question.

"I don't want to talk about it...pl..ease Toph." The air becomes tense as my voice cracks in pain and at refusing her request. Her hand slides off my arm, making my eyes burn at what I presume is her disappointment in me.

"It's ok. I just expect you to tell me later alright?" I look at her in gratitude.

"Thanks Toph."

"But there's one question I won't back down on." I purse my lips at that and shoot her a worried look.

"Did you never intend to tell us, at all? I mean how long were you keeping this a secret for before you ditched us?!" I gulp at Toph's demand, knowing how much she's masking her real emotions.

"5 months. But Toph..." I trail off as the blind Earthbender jumps off from the bed and rounds on me in fury, her fists clenched at her sides.

"You kept this from us for 5 whole months?! And you still refuse to answer my simple question on whether you were ever going to tell us anything. It's enough I've had to put up with your cowardly ways for the last 3 years, the least you could do for me is to just answer this question!" I push away the hurt from her words and clench my hands on my lap into fists.

"What makes you think that the answer will do more good than harm?! If it didn't I would've told you by now!" I screech at her.

"Can you really hurt me more than you've already done?" Toph's biting words leaves me speechless and I simply just hang my head in shame. "Wow, not a word; I've rendered the powerful Avatar speechless. What a disappointment." I clench my jaws in anger.

"Well some great Avatar I am." I retort with barely concealed rage. "I mean what Avatar can't beat 8 people? Truly a disappointment." I hear Toph's sharp intake of breath at my jab at her regarding her beating me up a few days ago.

"Get out." The Earthbender whispers dangerously. I snap my head up to meet her burning unseeing stare.

"What?!" I say flabbergasted. My Sifu bends down so her eyes are level with mine, her face right up in my own.

"You heard me, get out." My eye twitches at her blatant rudeness with no consideration for anything. And quicker than you can say 'spirits' I was up, towering over her, absolutely seething.

"Gosh Toph since when have you become such a coward?!" I shout. My eyes stray to the fists shaking at her sides.

"What did you say?!" She snarls at me.

"A coward. As soon as things get tough you try to escape. Not much of an Earthbender are you?" As soon as I utter the words, Toph's hand snaps out towards me where she roughly pins me to the wall adjacent to the bed with one hand fisted in my clothes of my chest and the other is pulled back in a fist, as if ready to punch me.

"You have no right to call me anything." The blind Earthbender's quiet voice is lined with menace as she pulls her fist back further. I close my eyes in anticipation of the hit. And this is how we stay for minutes on end. "Did you ever really care about any of us? Because the way you treat us is trash as if you don't give us any thought. A means to an end right?" I don't respond, as pain starts shooting in my chest. "Right?!" I gasp as she pushes me further into the wall whilst increasing her pressure on my chest. I begin trembling as the pain starts to become overwhelming.

"Le...t...g...o." I strangle out, but if anything Toph tightens her hold.

"And why should I? When was the last time you listened to me, to any of us?" I squeeze my eyes together till white blinds me.

"Be..cause it...h..urts." No sooner do I voice these words my Sifu releases me abruptly, causing me to fall to the ground on all fours. I try opening my eyes but I find everything blurry and dizzy so I resort to closing them again. Minutes tick by as I regain my breath and beg for the pulsing pain to stop, when it does mellow down a bit I speak.

"You want to know how badly I've gotten hurt? Well..." I laugh bitterly, "I once got stabbed by a spear made of rock in my chest that nearly killed me and due to all the injuries I've accumulated over the years and its position I couldn't be healed properly, which happens to be the same place you keep pressing on. There! Is that enough for you to stop roughly pushing against my chest or does that give you more of an incentive?!" I growl out, my eyes still trained on the floor. Silence pursues for what feels like an age, giving me enough time to calm down and raise my head up in curiosity to look at the blind Earthbender, whose eyes seem to have glazed over while her fists dangle by her sides. I raise an eyebrow at her frozen stature. "Are you not going to say something?" My words seem to have the intended effect as she snaps her head down to look at me, I nearly gasp upon seeing her eyes soften as she blindly gazes at me.

"What do you want me to say? That I admit to being a jerk to you? That I can't begin to apologise for not thinking about your injuries, that I blame myself for falling for your pretence and not seeking you out constantly until you gave in and told us the truth? Spirits Aang I can't begin to tell you how awful I feel, how frustrated I am at you for hiding everything from us. It hurts because...because I thought we were close. I never had friends before you, Katara and Sokka. I didn't know what to do when you just decided to leave us. It hurt me so much, and I started getting irrational thoughts that if you, the one who sought me out to join your group, could leave me, then what's stopping everyone else from leaving too? I don't think I could've handled losing my family and friends in one go so I let all my negative feelings of the matter spill out onto you." I cringe at hearing Toph's voice crack, 'this isn't the Toph I know.' My Sifu turns away slightly, giving me her side as a tear drops from her eye onto the floor beside my hand. "I'm sorry." I blink in surprise and as quickly as I can, 'which isn't particularly quick as pain still radiates from my chest,' I stand up and pull Toph to face me.

"Toph I'm not mad at you. I just hid everything too well so there's no way you could've known, please don't blame yourself." I let go of Toph's shoulders and drop myself gently on the bed. I continue on, ignoring the throbbing that courses through me. "I hated leaving you all, hated saying all those lies in that announcement. You guys were my only sunshine in those dark moments. I can't tell you why or what happened but Toph I...I honestly did intend to tell you all but I changed my mind on the last second." The blind Earthbender takes a couple of steps towards me till she blocks my view of the room.

"It was Katara wasn't it?" I bite my lip hard and look away.

"I told you I can't tell you why."

"Why?! Because you don't want her getting hurt or you don't want us to lash out at her for being the reason you ran away?" Her demanding tone makes me slightly shrink into myself.

"Toph..." I trail off unsure of how to respond to her questions.

"Well news flash Airhead she doesn't mind hurting you when she blamed you for..." My heart drops as Toph widens her eyes and abruptly cuts off what she was going to say, not that I didn't already know, 'Katara blames me for the time I took from her in which she could've spent with her Gran Gran.'

"Aang I..." I close my eyes in sadness before opening them again.

"It doesn't matter, you all blame me for something, what's one more?" I say weakly in an attempt to hide how much Katara's words had pierced through my already scarred heart. 'Not that she isn't correct though.' At this Toph moves so fast that I can barely register that she's gripping my shoulders firmly.

"No, you're wrong. Katara's wrong to even imply it's your fault. If anything it's her fault for not returning straight to her tribe after the war. But she always lashes out when she's mad. And we all make mistakes. For once, I'm thinking that it would be great just to be on the same page again, put an end to this tension and get along like we used to...what you did was foolish. You don't seem to realise that when you hurt, we hurt. Your tears makes us cry inside, your self-hatred makes us hate ourselves. You have no idea how much we...missed you. You were the heart of our friendship and it wasn't the same afterwards." As Toph releases her hands and sits beside me my jaw drops in shock, not only because of Toph's uncharacteristic admission but also because; 'I was so busy worrying about them that I forgot that they would worry for me and I was too selfish to think about their feelings in the matter.'

"Toph I can't begin to apologise enough to you and everyone. When you needed me the most I wasn't there for you, for any of you. I was too absorbed with dealing with that one problem that I didn't look past your mask of indifference to see your hurt. I'm so so sorry." I say in a strangled whisper, as my voice becomes clogged with mucus and tears leak from my eyes. I put my head in my hands, but before I know it I'm pulled into a tight embrace, but I unfortunately flinch and Toph withdraws before I can reciprocate the hug.

"Sorry, I didn't irritate any of your injuries did I?" The proud Earthbender mumbles.

"No! I'm just...still getting used to receiving hugs...it has been a while since I've been frequently hugged..." I trail off lamely and flinch inwardly at how pathetic that sounds, but Toph gives my arm a squeeze, as if to reassure me that she understands. Then we fall into a calm silence for the first time in years and I feel reluctant to break it, but I have to make sure that what I said won't leave this room.

"Toph...can you...erm not tell anyone what I've told you please?" My Sifu blinks before turning to face me, a frown present on her face.

"Is this because of Katara?" I sigh, not really wanting to admit that Katara was the reason that I left.

"Partly, I don't want everyone getting mad at her or for her to feel guilty. She asked me earlier and I didn't answer her, but I could see how vulnerable she was when she asked. If she knew...it would upset her. But also because I don't want anyone to know the extent of my previous injuries."

"But why not?" My eyes wander around the room before returning back to look at Toph.

"Because if they knew the extent of my injuries they'll hate themselves much like you're doing when it's not their fault at all, it's mine. And I'm sure Katara would want to see them..." The Earthbender furrows her eyebrows in confusion.

"See what?" I gulp and drop my head slightly.

"The scars." Toph widens her eyes before looking away.

"Oh. A good thing about being blind is that I don't really comprehend the severity of those. I'd probably storm off to the Fire Nation and beat them up so hard that they wouldn't be able to sit down for a week!" I chuckle at her words, knowing how close to the truth they are.

"I'm sure you would." I reply with mirth dancing in my eyes. Silence falls between us with only the sound of my rasping breath in the room. Then Toph clears her throat and shifts slightly next to me, curious I turn my head to look at what she's doing to find a look of discomfort splayed across her face.

"Can I see them?" Her hesitated statement causes my eyes to bulge.

"See them?" I question weakly.

"Well, feel them...you know the scars?" I gulp and turn away. I breathe deeply to steady my racing heart.

"Toph...I...I get pretty bad flashbacks when someone touches any of them, especially the big ones...which most of them are." I can't help but mumble the last statement out. The sharp intake of breath beside me indicates that Toph probably heard that part and with her good hearing I shouldn't be surprised.

"I'm guessing you talk from experience then." I turn my head slightly, so that I can see Toph at the corner of my eyes.

"Yeah, Kyla used to touch them in some healing sessions, and it did the same thing, even with ones I got years ago." The blind Earthbender nods slightly and a thoughtful look graces her face.

"So who is this Kyla person? Katara seems to know her." I sigh and tap my fingers against my thigh in thought, 'let's hope Toph doesn't get all jealous like Katara did.'

"I bumped into her a couple of years ago. She's been my healer, since I never learnt how to heal from Katara. She...saved me a lot. I wouldn't be here without her." A hush falls after my confession and I risk a glance to my Sifu, her expression hard.

"Well you'll have to introduce us then!" I blink twice in surprise and chuckle at the unexpectedness of her statement. Toph raises an eyebrow at me in confusion. "What's so funny Twinkletoes?" The growl in her voice brings my laughter to a halt and I rub my neck.

"Well I was a bit worried you'd be erm jealous?" This time Toph bursts into snorts of laughter and I flush in embarrassment.

"What are you laughing at?!" I mutter but the blind Earthbender just clutches her stomach for several more seconds.

"Oh boy, let me guess, Katara got all jealous, right?" I widen my eyes in surprise.

"How did you know?" I question in curiosity.

"Other than the fact that Katara always gets jealous? Your question was enough proof."

"Oh."

"And anyway, why should I be jealous? So you made a new friend, big deal. I doubt you saw her much outside of the times you needed healing right?" I blink at the accuracy of her guessing.

"Yeah."

"Well that's it then. You'll introduce us when this mess is over." I raise my eyebrow at her.

"I guess I don't have a say in this do I?" I question dubiously.

"No you don't." I sigh at her cocky tone.

"Fiiine." Pausing, I glance at the clock on the wall and seeing how late it is I turn back to Toph.

"I guess I should go, it's really late and we should probably get to sleep." Toph snorts as I begin to shift off the bed, I look at her questioningly.

"What does that mean?"

"Like you get any sleep. I don't need to see to know that you probably have bags under your bags." I frown at her knowledge of my bad sleeping patterns and slowly cross my arms.

"And you know this how?"

"I'm not stupid you know!" The blind Earthbender spits out in frustration." My shoulders sag, but I don't intend to stay here for the rest of the night either way.

"Ok, let me amend my sentence then. I should go so that you can get some sleep."

"I don't need to sleep..." I roll my eyes at this. "...I want to talk with you..." My jaw drops at her uncharacteristic revelation. "How do I know that you won't just bottle up everything again? I know that you've only told me the surface of what's been happening. And I'm not asking you to tell me everything, but what if you close up again? I don't think I'll be able to forgive you for another time and trust me I don't want that to happen." I blink away the gathering tears in my eyes and for the first time in over three and a half years I initiate the embrace, holding Toph as tightly as I could in my state and she holds on more gently.

"I'm sorry Toph, so sorry. I promise I won't lock you out anymore. I just need you to be patient with me, I've been hiding this for so long that it will take time for me to be better...anyway I'm too tired to continue on taking and I don't think I could say anymore...it's just too much..." When I feel Toph nod into my chest, the amount of relief that crashes down is overwhelming. "Thank you." at this I release her and shakily get to my feet. I walk to the door and bid Toph goodnight who gives me a small smile.

"You better stick to that promise Twinkletoes!"

A/N: Well, hope you all didn't get lost on that emotional roller-coaster. So what did you think? I hope you didn't think Toph was too OOC. I'll be honest, this is actually one of my favourite chapters so far.

Regarding my next update, well I'm not sure to be honest, I've had the last week off after exams but I start a new term on Monday which I can imagine will be very time consuming, but I'll try to update as soon as I can. The sooner I get reviews, the sooner I'll update. If I miraculously get two reviews or more I might even try to update tomorrow before I start uni again…my updating schedule is in your hands haha :D I've even put a poll on my profile… Anyway, hope you all have a good weekend and stay safe/warm, I don't about you guys but over here it was snowing!

3/2/19