Chapter forty-four
"But this really isn't a matter for children to hear about…" Marcoh began heavily, looking to Roy and then at Ed.
"I know a lot of things I shouldn't," Ed said, turning around on Roy's lap so that he was fully facing Doctor Marcoh. "I know the world is scary and dark and that the military did bad things in Ishbal."
Marcoh looked shocked. "How did you know that this was about Ishbal?"
"Because Daddy looks the same after his nightmares. And I know that the world is scarier and darker than you want me to think. Mom died two months ago." Ed said the last part with a finality that made Roy's heart clench and he hugged Ed tightly.
"You were there to watch her pass on…" Marcoh said with sympathy.
"Yes and no."
That left Marcoh confused. Roy was just going to let Ed tell the man as much as he wanted to. Ed was a good judge of character and Roy had a feeling that Marcoh would be unwilling to talk to them about anything without knowing their thoughts on the military. And Roy could tell that this was a desperate man escaping from his demons, not an evil man fleeing the law. "How do you mean?"
"Because Mom really died ten years ago and two really bad people stole the last ten years from me."
That statement left Marcoh speechless.
"They took me and they tied me up and they hurt me with the needles and then Daddy found me and got me loose. They told me that Mom was dead and everything. That Lillian and Grant stole my life! They took away my little brother growing up and my friends and family and everything else has just grown up without me because of what they did!"
"Why…?" Marcoh said, looking horrified.
"Because they were gonna adopt me! They were gonna take everything away from me and make me their puppet!" Ed was crying again and Roy gently wiped his tears away, his gloved hand soaking up the moisture. "They took two thirds of my life away from me! They just said it was wrong and so they threw it away!" Ed began sobbing and Roy held him closer, gently stroking his back as he placed his chin on top of his head. Ed was shaking with a mixture of sobs and fright and Roy so desperately wished for Ed to not have to go through the pain he did. But he knew that with what Ed had gone through, that there weren't any easy answers and shortcuts. And so Roy could only try to support him as best he could through Ed's torment.
"But how is that even possible?" Marcoh asked, his face pale.
Ed wasn't up to speak much more and so Roy took over. "Because one of the kidnappers used her own life force as payment to remove the last ten years. Now the military is trying to hush it up that the people who did this were officers themselves and weren't caught during the five months they were at large, killing a total of thirty-four children as practice in order to make Ed the way he is now."
Marcoh looked down sadly. "I see. So your faith in the military has been shaken too…"
"Could you please tell us about your research, Doctor Marcoh?" Al interrupted. Roy had a feeling that he was trying to stop this from being potentially incriminating for Roy. He felt a speck of warmth form in his stomach despite the lump resting there after Ed had repeated his story.
Marcoh sighed heavily. "I know the situation with your brother is hard, but knowing about my research will hardly help. It's not the answer."
"I can't be fixed," Ed said, his sobbing having died down. "We know that, it's not why we came."
"You don't know what you're asking of me. I did horrible things… What they made me do… To see it used to kill so many thousands of people… I just couldn't take it anymore. It's why I took the research notes and left. I came here, working as a doctor, trying to pay off a fraction of my debt."
"But what exactly was it you were researching?" Roy asked, curiosity peaked. Exactly what sort of research had this man done that had been so hushed up?
"I was making the Philosopher's Stone."
Roy froze.
Everyone froze.
Marcoh continued however, sighing miserably. "I took the Stone and my research data."
"You have the Stone?!" Roy exclaimed at the same time as Al did.
"Yes." Marcoh stood up and walked over to a cabinet, taking out a vial with a shiny red liquid and holding it up for them to see.
"The Stone? But that's a liquid?" Al said.
Roy was confused as hell and Ed was just staring at it, open-mouthed.
Then Roy panicked as Marcoh simply poured the Stone onto the table.
… Only for it to turn into a pebble-like lump on the wooden surface.
Ed moved out of Roy's lap and crawled onto the table and prodded it with his index finger, revealing it not to be a hardened substance either, but sort of jelly-like. Ed seemed to be absolutely mesmerised by it.
"The Sage's Stone," Marcoh began, "The Stone of Heaven… The Great Elixir… The Red Tincture… The Fifth Element… Just as there are many names for the Philosopher's Stone, it seems that it might not be a stone at all."
Roy was absolutely astounded. They had actually found it. Just like that.
Marcoh scooped it back into the vial and Ed crawled back onto Roy's lap. "This is just for experimental purposes, though. It's an imperfect compound and it is impossible to know when it will reach its limits and cease to work. But even so, compounds like these were used secretly throughout the civil war, and they were tremendously successful."
Roy thought back to the one Cornello had and that one certainly fit the description of imperfect, the way it rebounded. "But that must mean that a perfect one must be possible to create. Would you mind showing us your research data?"
Marcoh looked like he was fighting an inward struggle before his face was set with a stubborn look. "I will not let the military to get their hands on it again. I'll take that secret to my grave."
"I'm not doing this for the military, damn it! It's for my sons!" Roy was getting furious. They were this close to getting Al his body back, only for the chance to be taken away from them in this way? Roy slammed his right fist on the table, glaring at Marcoh. Ed flinched slightly at Roy's display of anger. It made Roy even more desperate for Marcoh's cooperation.
"What do you want it for?" Marcoh asked, looking at Roy with defiant fright.
Alphonse then lifted his helmet off, but Ed spoke before he could. "I wanna hug my little brother again."
"So you committed the taboo…" Doctor Marcoh said heavily. Al had just finished explaining what they did, although Ed could only trust his word on it. Ed hated not to remember. It hurt. He couldn't even remember sacrificing his own arm for his little brother!
Doctor Marcoh sighed. "I see… But I cannot let you see my research in good conscience." He stood up. "Nobody will ever see it. It is the work of the devil and it can only lead straight to hell."
"I've seen hell thirty-six times," Ed said, looking at him, desperately trying to make him change his mind because Al needed his body!
Doctor Marcoh froze and looked back at him. "What do you mean?"
"That was as many needles as Lillian and Grant put in my back and neck. Y-you don't know it's like! Being tied up and scared and everywhere smells like blood! To have two strangers telling you that you're their son! To have them pat you and hug you and kiss your cheek and then stick needles in your back! To know that every single needle might be the one that steals everything away! Or it might just hurt or make you see things! And they hurt! They hurt so bad and I couldn't do anything other than scream and they just hugged me and patted me and said it was necessary for my new life with them! They said they were "preparing" me! And I couldn't move away! Every time the drugs stopped working, they would just push my head forwards and stick another needle into me!" Ed was crying again now, he just couldn't stop it. "You don't know what it's like! They didn't feed me or let me drink and they had stuck a needle in my arm and it kept pumping stuff into me too! I was scared and cold and alone and they were gonna take everything away from me!" Ed paused, taking a deep breath. "I-I began wishing that it would be the ones that hurt because the other ones made me see Mom and Al and that hurt so much because I wouldn't see them again!" Ed began sobbing now, thinking about it hurt so much too. "A-and then Daddy saved me, and I learnt what had happened! What I did to my little brother! And now you won't help him! He can't eat or sleep or cry or touch!"
Doctor Marcoh just looked sad. Ed couldn't have him sad, he needed him to say yes! "You say you're a doctor and doctors help people, so why won't you help Alphonse?! He's lost Mom! He's lost his body! He's lost his big brother who raised him and he's still only a kid!"
Doctor Marcoh stared at Ed for a long time and Ed glared back at him, not breaking the eye contact, despite the tears and sobs that were escaping him. In the end, Doctor Marcoh sighed and walked over to his desk, scribbling something on a piece of paper. "Take my word for it, this isn't the solution to your problem. This will only lead to hardship and nothing more," he said heavily, folding the note together and walking back to them. "I'm sorry, but if you're still determined to find out for yourself, then this is where I've hid my research. If you can look the truth in the face, then do it." He handed the note to Ed. "And maybe you will find the truth that lies within the truth."
