Chapter fifty
Roy was sitting in his office, reading through a report. The door was opened and in strode Fullmetal, grinning, his red coat billowing behind him. "Hi, Dad! I'm back! Alphonse is coming in a few minutes too, he's helping a kid get her kitten down from a tree."
Roy smiled and pushed his chair out from behind the desk so that he could stand up and greet him properly, but the kid was too quick for him and had promptly sat himself down on Roy's lap and hugged him tightly. Roy chuckled and hugged him back. "So I take it the mission went well, Kiddo?"
"Yeah, but it's good to be home again. Now, Dad, are we having stew as usual?"
"Of course! It's what we always have when you get back home from a mission."
Fullmetal squeezed Roy once more and Roy placed a hand on the back of his head before kissing his forehead. "I've missed you, Son."
Fullmetal rested his head against Roy's right shoulder. "But I'm not your son, Colonel. You clearly didn't want me, so the Pentons made me into something else, didn't they? They killed me because you weren't there to be my Dad."
Shivers went down his spine at the words. "No! I wanted you! I wanted you to be my son!"
Fullmetal started to slowly turn to ashes between his fingers. "You didn't, Colonel. You were too late." Fullmetal was disappearing in front of him and Roy was terrified. "Please don't go, Ed!"
"Sorry, Colonel, like I said, you were too late." And with that, all that was left were two metal limbs.
"NOOO!"
Roy woke with a start, Maes was shaking his shoulder and looking at him with worry. Roy instinctively tightened his grip on Ed's shoulder. The boy was currently sleeping peacefully on his lap, curled up and with his left hand gently clutching the bottom of Roy's vest..
"Roy! You okay?"
Roy blinked a few times, taking in his surroundings. He was sitting in one of the armchairs in Maes's study. Him and Ed had retreated in here after a stranger had scared Ed shitless by placing a party hat on his head with a "here you go, Sweetheart!" Apparently that was one of the things Lillian had used to say as she forced the syringes into him. Roy had asked him if he wanted to leave, but Ed had said through his tears that he just wanted cake and a hug. And Maes, who had thankfully seen what had happened, had told Roy to take Ed to the study and he'd bring some cake soon.
Roy looked over at the clock on the wall, seeing that it had been over two hours ago, meaning that the party was over. Maes had brought them the cake after five minutes and Roy had sat there reading to Ed from a biology book from one of the bookshelves to calm him down. When Ed had said he was beginning to get sleepy, he had voiced a request that had brought Roy a slight twinge of fear.
He had asked him to sing him a lullaby.
And Roy would never ever have the heart to tell him no. Also, he had had no reason to tell him no. They had been completely alone and Roy knew both the lyrics and their respective melodies due to growing up with plenty of young women doting on him and who had practically fought over who would be the one to tuck him in at night. They had never done anything untoward, far from it. They had just appreciated the break from having to watch out for drunk men groping them and were instead allowed to be big sisters for a sleepy orphan boy.
Which was also why Roy had had lullabies sung to him long into his teenage years.
No, the only problem had been that Roy wasn't much of a singer. He wasn't bad per se.
…He just wasn't that good either. And even if he reached the notes, his singing voice wasn't a nice one.
…Basically, he sounded like a hungry lion.
Yet those bright, golden eyes had shone with love and hope and he just hadn't been able to let him down. And so Roy had gently placed his hand on Ed's cheek and stroked it with his thumb as he began singing.
…And so it had turned out that hungry lions were apparently very soothing.
Roy didn't know when he had fallen asleep himself, but it couldn't have been that long ago.
"Hey! Roy!" Maes said, shaking his shoulder again. "You okay? You're pale as a ghost."
"Yes, I'm…" Roy thought back to why he wanted to talk to him in the first place.
"You were too late…"
Roy sighed, feeling the painful twinge in his chest. "… I'm not okay."
"Nightmare?" Maes said, withdrawing his hand and straightening up.
"Yes. About Fullmetal."
Maes sighed heavily and walked over to the drinks cabinet. "You need a drink? I'm getting one myself. Elicia's asleep and Alphonse and Riza are helping Gracia clean up after the party."
"No, thank you. I've quit drinking."
Maes looked a bit surprised at that. "How long?"
"Since Fullmetal went missing."
Maes nodded. "You mind if I have one?"
Roy sighed. "You go ahead, Maes." Roy knew that his friend didn't want to make him uncomfortable if he had a problem with it, but it really wasn't a big deal. "It's not like I was getting rid of an addiction, Maes, that was years ago." Roy had gone through a rough time the first few months after Ishbal like so many other soldiers, but Hawkeye had helped him. He had used to enjoy the occasional drink ever since, but he only got drunk once in a while and never while he was alone. "It's just something that happened. The week Fullmetal went missing, I needed to keep my head a hundred per cent clear. Then suddenly I found myself looking after a five-year-old child that had gone through absolute hell and there wasn't really time… Then all of a sudden I was their father and Edward had taken my name and I guess I just didn't want him to pick up any old habits of mine I'd rather he left well alone…"
"…So you'd like a soda?" Maes offered.
Roy smiled weakly and Maes walked over to the mini fridge and took a glass bottle of the same brightly orange liquid that Ed had been sipping constantly throughout the party. He opened it and took a straw out of a plastic can and placed it in the bottle, handing it to him. Roy took it with a smile and sighed. "I'm not blaming you, Maes… It's just that with what the boys have been through, I don't want to risk them growing up thinking that drowning your sorrows in a bottle is a healthy way to do things."
Maes grinned and held up his glass, understanding that Roy had no problem with his occasional drinking. "Well, cheers!"
And so Roy held up his bottle and nodded with a fond scoff and then sipped his soda through his straw. He looked down at the sleeping boy on his lap and sighed heavily, using his free hand to gently stroke Ed's fringe out of his face. "He's growing his hair out. In a year's time, he'll be running around with a little plait bobbing up and down on his shoulders…"
Maes nodded, taking a sip of his drink, his eyes contemplative and understanding.
Roy sighed again. "I keep forgetting that they're one and the same. It catches me off guard. And I honestly don't know what to think of it. It's just so weird to think that this sweet boy here was the same one who would kick open my office door, insult me and swear like a sailor as he went along." Roy kept gently stroking his fingers through his hair, now that the action was seen as a comfort instead of a trigger for Ed to wake up screaming and shaking.
"I get you, Roy. I guess it just shows how much losing his mother affected him."
"And what replacing his mother and father meant for his childhood."
"At least he won't have to do that this time."
Roy sighed again and let those silky locks glide between his fingers.
