A/N: Don't really know what to say other than thank you for the praise and feedback. Hope you like this chapter.
Back at Kyla's house:
"So how did it go?" I roll my eyes as Kyla jumps me as soon as I enter her room and close the door.
"Fine. We bought a couple of dresses. I don't know what more did you expect to get out of a short shopping trip. It's not like it's going to heal a 3 year long rift between us." I say exasperated. Kyla crosses her arms in a huff.
"Well excuse me for trying to help." Kyla responds in a sarcastic manner.
"More like meddle." I mutter out which leads me to receive a glare from the Healer.
"Anyway, how's your stomach? I can give you another session if you want?" I shake my head at Kyla's question.
"I'm f..." I pause at the glower that Kyla sends me. "...the session you did earlier is enough for today." I amend. I watch as Kyla scrutinises me before sighing.
"Alright." She coincides. "Now what happened with this pneumonia incident you mentioned earlier?" I shuffle my feet at Kyla's query then lean my back against the wall with crossed arms.
"Katara and I had an argument during Waterbending practise...I fell in the water and didn't bother drying off...I just sat there till it got dark and then went to lean against a tree. I guess I passed out because I found myself back inside Suki's house when I woke up." I state uncomfortably at Kyla's hard stare.
"You stayed outside while you were soaking wet...on purpose..." I gaze down, knowing already what's on Kyla's mind. "Aang you...for spirits sake Aang! You promised me you would never do anything like that again!"
"Kyla I...!" I start but my words are quickly brushed aside.
"You promised!" I gulp and continue staring at the ground, not knowing what to say. "Look me in the eye." At Kyla's hard tone I slowly bring my eyes to hers. "Have you forgotten what you put me through the last time?!" I shake my head. "I was out of my mind with blind fear and the only thing that comforted me when you woke up properly was that you promised you'd never do it again. How on earth can I trust you?" I gulp again as my heart stabs with deep pain.
"Kyla...it just happened..." I'm interrupted for the second time in the space of 5 minutes.
"NO! Don't you dare say that!" Kyla screeches at me. I see her lip wobble as she tries to hold in her tears before she turns her back on me with shaking shoulders. I bite my lip hard, 'maybe I shouldn't have been so truthful, especially since Kyla knows why it took me longer than it should to heal from that attack 18 months ago.' I take a step towards Kyla and with a hesitant hand I place it on Kyla's shoulder. My Healer stiffens at my touch but makes no move to face me.
"I wasn't thinking. I was miserable and felt so suffocated by all the pressure my friends were putting on me. That argument kind of pushed me over the edge. I know, it's not a good excuse...heck it isn't even an excuse. I just forgot about that promise and I'm such a jerk and I'm so so sorry." I feel tears build up as emotion enters my voice. "I would never ever want to hurt you that badly ever again and I nearly did. You already lost your family but you still found it in your heart to care about me to such a great extent. You've saved me so many times and I don't deserve that... I don't deserve you. Please don't be mad at me...please." I plead earnestly and I don't realise the trail of tears falling down my face until I feel Kyla wiping them away.
"You scared me so badly during those months. You kept drifting off...you were so nearly gone and when you accidentally mumbled that you were doing that on purpose...I flipped out." Kyla's voice cracks as she recalls that moment.
"I was in dark place. I was close to the edge for years but that attack finally pushed me over. I was in this dream state and I just kept thinking that I wanted it all to end. I couldn't take the attacks anymore and I felt that I had no one. But every single time I was about to completely let myself drift off for good I heard you screaming. I couldn't leave you after you recently lost your family. I heard how many hours...weeks you spent awake by my side...and I couldn't bring myself to hurt you like that."
"You would've been the biggest jerk in the world if you decided to just go like that. I mean I had to quit my job until you were well enough again. If you had d...ied, I would've somehow tracked you down in the Spirit world to give you a right whooping." Kyla states stoically as she slaps my arm.
"Good thing I didn't leave then." I joke, but Kyla's face remains serious. "Kyla, it was a moment of desperation and I will think twice before ever even considering it. I promise!" I say as sincerely as I possibly could, but Kyla doesn't look at all convinced.
"You promised you wouldn't before, but you broke your word. How can I trust you wouldn't just do that again?"
"Because you're not the only one who has to watch out for me anymore. It seems that I won't be left alone again any time soon, if ever." I say light heartedly in the hope that Kyla would finally let up. She bites her lip before sighing.
"Ok, fine. But if you ever think to do that ever again, I will officially break off our friendship and I'll never talk to you ever again!" I purse my lips upon hearing this, 'well that seems quite counter-productive, but I don't think it's a good idea to tell her that; not to mention I will never risk our friendship over this.'
"Well you know I can't live without your friendship...literally, so that's a done deal." I say with mock seriousness and finally I see a small smile that slips through Kyla's defences and she pulls me in for a hug with her head nuzzling into my shoulder.
"I don't think I'd be able to stand it if I lost you too, especially from the same issue." The Healer whispers and I feel dampness beginning to soak through my clothes at the shoulder. I tighten my grip on her when I take note of the date in sudden realisation.
"It was their memorial last week, wasn't it?" A small nod later and I find my throat going dry at how selfish I was being.
"I miss them so much that it hurts." Kyla mumbles out and I lean my chin on her head.
"I know how that feels. I still and always will miss my people." I close my eyes as Monk Gyatso appears in my mind's eye and suppress the shudder that threatens to take over. A second later Kyla pushes me back and wipes her watery eyes.
"Gosh we're a sorry lot aren't we?" I grin softly at Kyla's comment.
"Well I was going to go with tragic, but yours works too, I guess." I say dubiously at which the Healer snorts out a laugh. I watch her eyes focus on something behind me before they return back to me.
"You should probably head to bed, it's already pretty late and you need to be well rested for tomorrow."
"Alright." I say with a nod and exit the room with a wave. I walk upstairs and just as I head to my room I find my eyes sliding to the room next door...Sokka's room. I sigh, 'I suppose this is the best time to finally show Sokka. I can't imagine that there will be any other time when there's just the two of us.' I bite my lip and raise a hand to his door. 'I can do this, it's time I start opening up, even if it's just a bit.' I knock. A few moments later Sokka opens the door with a look of surprise when he sees me.
"Hey, Aang. You aren't in bed yet?" Sokka questions to which I shake my head.
"Can I come in?" I ask, resulting in the ponytailed warrior to widen his eyes slightly.
"Of course. I was just doing some sword training before I head to sleep. You?"
"Just catching up with Kyla." I reply with a shrug as I mask my face on how terribly that went. Sokka nods as he closes the door and leans against it.
"Right. She's a good person that Kyla. I didn't realise she was the friend you meant. I remember she came to the South Pole over couple of years ago to sign some agreement and she wouldn't stop helping around in the tribe." I nod as I feel a smile working its way up my face.
"That sounds like Kyla. She's got a big heart." I sigh and the smile quickly fades. "Sometimes that can be a bad thing." I subconsciously mumble with a slight shake of my head.
"It can be...she lost her family or something, didn't she?" I widen my eyes and snap my head up to stare at Sokka who in turn is watching me closely.
"How did you know?" I question, surprised.
"We talked briefly when she came and it was mentioned in passing. Wouldn't say what happened, but I didn't really need to know; losing any loved one is painful enough." The Water Tribesman states with a touch of pain, but the moment passes and his eyes clear from their previously glazed look. 'He's probably thinking about his mum...or Yue.' He directs his gaze back at me. "So what's on your mind? Did you two have a fight or something?" My jaws drop at his deduction.
"How did you know?! I mean..." I cough, "...what makes you say that?" I say whilst putting on the most neutral expression as possible.
"You looked upset when you were talking about her." Sokka says with a shrug and them crosses his arms.
"She was just upset about the 'pneumonia incident' but we've talked it out, so it's alright." I state carefully, but I watch as Sokka's expression become thoughtful and his eyes scan me a bit too closely so I end up shifting from one foot to the other in discomfort. "Anyway, that's not why I came." I utter out to change the direction of this conversation. "I...I..." I bite the inside of my cheek and take a deep breath. "My scars, can I show them to you?" I get out in a rush. I observe as Sokka pales slightly and he pushes himself off the door.
"Ok." He croaks out.
"If you don't want to..." I start unsurely upon seeing his reaction but Sokka shakes his head vigorously.
"No no. I want to...well actually I don't want to, but we'll do it together." And Sokka's smile makes me breathe a little more easily.
Sokka's POV:
When I see Aang's shoulders relax slightly I know I've said the right thing. 'To be honest, I had anticipated that this was the reason why he came to see me in the first place, but I just couldn't help but to delay the inevitable. Not to mention I was and still am intrigued about Aang's dynamic with Kyla. I can tell Aang's hiding something else and I think it has to do with why Kyla was so upset with the pneumonia incident and the only thing I can come up with is that Aang did something like this before.' The thought makes me gulp hard. 'Spirits I hope I'm wrong.'
"Sokka?" Upon hearing my name I look up at Aang's scared eyes which causes me to frown. I walk over to the Airbender and put my hands on his shoulders.
"I'm ready when you are." I say with what I hope is a comforting smile. Aang takes a step back and with a shaking hand he clutches the hem of his top. Moments stretch into minutes and we stay in this position. "You don't have to do this. If you're not ready we can leave it for a time when you are." I say softly but the Airbender shakes his head vigorously and sinks to the ground on his knees whilst putting his face into his hands.
"Sokka I have to do this. I need things to get back to normal. They have to! I can't continue my life like this, being scared of a bunch of marks...but I'm so terrified. It's pathetic." The young Avatar cries out with a sniffle and I feel my heart crack at seeing this. 'I've never seen Aang so beaten down, not even after he woke up from getting shot by lightning.' I bend down and take his hands away from his face.
"Hey, it's ok. Come on, take a seat on the bed." I help him up and he sits down on the edge of my bed. "Let's count to three and on 3 you lift your top up, ok?" I watch Aang take a deep breath before nodding at me, his eyes becoming determined.
"1." We begin the countdown together. "2." The Airbender moves his hands back to his shirt's hem, I see the slight tremor in them as he clutches the fabric tightly. "3." Another deep breath from Aang and he begins pulling the top up. 'I have to make sure that whatever I see I won't over react, this is hard enough for Aang as it is. He doesn't need me to react badly.' I blink and am greeted with a large expanse of pale skin completely littered with scars. I find my eyes moving so quickly, unable to focus on any particular one as I start to feel overwhelmed, that is until they drop to the one at his stomach.
I grit my teeth hard and find myself staring at the black thick line stretching from one side to the other in a diagonal fashion with vertical lines intersecting through, 'Probably stitches.' My mind numbly supplies. I take a shuddering breath and my hand subconsciously goes to touch it but I pull it back when I take notice of the angry red surrounding it. I take a sharp intake of breath when I realise why it looks so raw and recent.
"This...this is where you got hit when we were at the Fire Nation wasn't it?" I ask, but I already know the answer before I even see the confirmation shining from Aang's eyes. I pull my eyes away from it and take in the rest. They aren't little as I was half expecting them to be, in fact they're nearly all gruesome and jagged and my mind flashes to a dark place, 'I left you. You had to go through this on your own.' My eyes start watering but it isn't until my eyes catch a particular mark, circle and small in size at Aang's left shoulder that finally a harsh sob breaks out from my throat. This time I do reach out a hand and feel the indent and I hear Aang's audible swallow. I drop my hand and turn away from the Airbender.
"Sokka?" I hear the painful uncertainty in Aang's voice, and I wish I could reassure him but I've lost the ability to even speak as my thoughts race 50 mph. 'That one was my fault.' And I can't help it but I find myself breaking down as tears leak from my eyes and I start shuddering violently. "Sokka, it's ok. It's ok." I ignore the pat on my back and shake my head. 'How can it be alright?! I gave you that mark!' I scream internally. "It's ok, I forgive you." These words break me out of my stupor and I move away from the Airbender.
"How can you say that?! I gave that mark to you!" I shout and Aang slowly gets up to his feet.
"Technically Toph gave it to me." The young Avatar replies with serious eyes.
"I was the one who pushed you onto that rock that Toph erected! I was the one who suggested doing that. I gave you that mark..." My lips tremble "I'm no better than those assassins. I marked you like they had!" I holler as more tears leak from my eyes.
"You were angry and rightfully so." Aang states calmly, but I see in his eyes just how much this is hurting for him to talk about.
"Don't give me excuses Aang! Just don't. AH!" I yell and smash my hand against the wall, I ignore the pain and smash it for a second time. Just as I bring my fist to smash it in the wall for a third time, I feel my arm being restrained. "Get off Aang!" I say roughly and try to shake his hands off me but he remains steadfast, his eyes stern.
"Stop Sokka! You're just hurting yourself! This won't change anything." Aang pleads and I drop my arm down. A quick glance to my hands shows I've split a couple of my knuckles, 'it's not enough.' My eyes return to Aang's comforting face and my legs buckle underneath me, bringing Aang down with me.
"I don't deserve your forgiveness." I sob out.
"Hey, you're not like those people who tried to hurt me. It was a mistake, you were mad at me for shutting you all out, you and Toph lashed out and you never did it again. We're even now. End of story." I shake my head at his reasoning, 'it's just so wrong! He shut us out to protect us and I hurt him because I was angry. How does that make us even?' "Please don't be upset." Once again, Aang's pleas are the only thing stopping me from smashing the wall down in my self-guilt.
"I think you were better off to have never met us." I mutter, but a tight grip on my arm makes me look up wearily to see the glower on Aang's face.
"Don't ever say that. I would've drowned in my grief if it wasn't for you and Katara. You guys saved me." I bite back a bitter laugh at the Airbender's words and instead I swallow down the lump that's built up in my throat.
"You give us too much credit. I know it doesn't mean anything, but I am so so sorry for what I did. It should never have happened. I marked you like those evil people...I'll never forgive myself." I crumple in myself when I realise I blemished my best friend. I hear Aang sigh and shake his head.
"I forgive you and that's enough. Now get up, my stomach hurts in this position." My eyebrows shoot up at this and I quickly help the Avatar back onto my bed. My eyes catch the old scar that Azula gave him and I shudder slightly when I recall seeing him to lifeless. I shake my head and turn to look back at by far his worst scar. I blink away the tears that threaten to spill over and in a swift motion I pull Aang into a hug.
"I'm glad you're alright." I whisper and pull away after a few moments. The Airbender shoots me a small smile as I wipe my face dry. "I'm sorry I got so emotional there; guess I wasn't the best person to show after all." I say with a dry chuckle as I wipe the last remnants of tears.
"Nah, honestly you didn't react that badly for the rest, which in my opinion is far worse than that ity bity tiny one you gave me years ago." The young Avatar states in an uplifting tone and I find myself taking in the array of scars, gashes and marks, but at a slower more precise pace. As I look at them all, I can only imagine the torture that the Airbender went through and I have to blink rapidly to stop the tears from arising again.
"Yeah, well they're..." I break off, finding myself at lost on what to say. "...I can see why you didn't want us to see them, but I'm glad you had the courage to show me...I'm honoured. How do you feel?"
"Strangely better. I feel like I don't have to force myself to hide anymore...and it feels good." I nod and a smile makes its way up my face.
"Good. Now that summer is here I don't think I'd be able to see you wear all those robes!" I joke at which Aang responds with a chuckle.
"Sokka, I've always worn this." He states as he rolls his eyes at me. I throw a critical stare at him.
"No way, you used to wear something lighter than that!" I argue.
"Sokka I can bend air, meaning I can also control the temperature around me, so the heat and the cold doesn't really bother me." I blink twice upon hearing this new information.
"You mean all this time you could've stopped me from freezing my butt off at the North Pole?" I complain with a scowl. I watch as Aang purses his lips at this.
"No, sorry. It doesn't work like that." The Airbender states sheepishly as he scratches the back of his head.
"Typical." I groan. Aang then reaches out for his top and attempts to put it back on. I go over and help him back into it.
"So...is everything cool?" At Aang's question I bite the inside of my cheek and release a small breath of air. I find my eyes scanning the Airbender closely for any visible marks but they're pretty much all hidden by his clothes. I force a smile to my face.
"Yeah, we're cool. Thanks for showing me. You think you're ready for everyone else to know?" I ask at which the Avatar turns his eyes upwards before returning back to mine.
"I think I'm ready to stop being so secretive about it." I nod my head at Aang's response, as a sense of pride fills me. I clap my hand onto his shoulder.
"Know that anytime you need me, I'm here for you." I say sincerely and Aang smiles widely at me.
"Thanks Sokka. Now let's get some shut eye otherwise we won't make it through the night tomorrow."
"Good idea." And I find myself smiling a little more, honoured that Aang chose me to show the evidence of his pain. 'I promise Aang that I will protect you no matter what. You won't ever have to go through anything this hard by yourself ever again.'
A/N: Well…don't know what to say really. This was quite intense. But at least Aang is slowly getting over his personal hurdles. Poor guy still has quite a way to go, but this is a good step in the right direction. We get a little more insight into Kyla (who doesn't have many chapters staring her) and now Sokka knows how bad the damage was. Anyway, let me know what you think! Thanks guys for the support!
21/9/19
