Bethesda Game Studios Presents

What exactly made her wake up, Ilia wasn't really sure of, but her best guess had to be clacking and rumbling that continuously assaulted her ears as she returned to consciousness. Her head felt like it was practically splitting itself apart, and her whole body ached like she'd been thrown right through a concrete wall. Though she wasn't sure if she could trust it or not, her sense of balance told her that she was sitting in a hard and unpleasantly cold seat that, every few moments, jolted like a car running over a pothole.

Wait.

Car…?

Groaning, Ilia slowly opened her eyes to a picture of dreary gray skies passing by above her with old looking, equally gray trees reaching up towards it all around her. Wherever she was, she didn't recognize it, and at the same time as she realized this, she also became acutely aware that she had no idea what was going on right about now. The last she remembered was the flash of headlights and the screech of car tires, after that there was nothing.

'Is this-… am I dead…?' she thought, a horrible sinking feeling landing in the pit of her stomach.

She tried to reach up a hand to rub at her eyes, hoping that maybe she'd gotten a concussion or something and was hallucinating images of the afterlife, somehow, only to quickly find that her hands were bound together on her lap. As she gaze left the sky, her head turning towards the right, she found herself staring at the back of a brown clad man, a pair of reigns leading from him to a large, sturdily built horse that was attached to a carriage.

The same carriage that Ilia now pieced together she was sitting in.

It only took moments for her breathing to start becoming erratic, panic-born adrenaline pumping its way throughout her veins. She didn't recognize or remember any of this, and the prospect of actually being dead threatened to make her heart explode from how quickly it was beating all of a sudden.

She was trapped, maybe not even alive anymore, and whatever came next was completely outside her control.

As Ilia steadily headed towards the mother of all anxiety fueled cardiac arrests, her attention was suddenly caught by the sound of someone speaking to her. And then, in a painfully crystallizing moment of absolute clarity, Ilia actually did start to recognize her surroundings.

"Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there."

Despite not having told her his name, Ilia knew that the man sitting opposite her on the carriage was named Ralof, a Nord, and a member of the Stormcloaks, on his way to be executed. She knew this information because despite what she'd thought only moments ago, she had been here before. Only never in this kind of way.

Throwing her head back, Ilia shouted with fury and flame towards the very heavens and beyond, willing her voice to reach through the very fabric of reality so that it could make its way to the man who had done the unthinkable.

"DAMN YOU TODD HOWARD!" Ilia howled, the world around her shaking from the sheer power in her scornful exclamation.

He'd done it again. The unfathomable maniac had released Skyrim on yet another fucking platform! Despite all her rage, Ilia knew this wouldn't be the end of it. In her heart of hearts, she knew that he'd never be satisfied until everything was Skyrim. Because his re-releasing had proved that it did, in fact, just work.

Ilia would never be able to bring down someone or something like that, but at the very least she could perform one last act of protest in the hopes that maybe it'd right one wrong.

With a steeled heart and while muttering yet another curse upon the Howard bloodline, Ilia stood up and threw herself off the front of the carriage, staring defiantly into the wagon wheel that would, in mere seconds, end her life. In the mud clinging to the surface of the wheel, she swore she could see Todd's face, laughing at her misery as blackness overtook her once more.

AN: I'm not apologizing~

AN.2: To be clear, the story isn't dead, ya dumbos. This was just a dumb joke that I slapped together because I saw a bunch of comments about Ilia being "isekai-ed". Contain the calamities that are your mammaries.