Chapter 3: Such a Bad Boy
"Mike, get your shit, and get the fuck out of my house! I can't fucking believe you." Both my checking and savings have been cleaned out. There is nothing left. I run to the closet and pull anything out that's his. He needs to get his shit out of here. God, I want to burn him alive.
"Look you knew I owed Tyler money, okay! Don't sit here and act like you didn't know I was in a bind. He was probably going to kill me!"
"Nobody twisted your arm, Mike. You didn't have to gamble with my fucking life savings!" I threw his goddamn Nikes and whatever else was near, at his face. "I fucking hate you!"
"Look, I'm sorry okay?" he asks in his whiny little voice that I can't believe didn't bother me before now.
Okay? Okay! I want to rip my face off. How could I have been so stupid.
"You know what? You are such a fucking trainwreck I can't even look at you," I yell.
"I'll just get my shit and be out of your hair," he says in a pathetic voice. He has a pitiful look on his face as he picks up his clothes off the floor. He is nothing but a fuck up.
"GET OUT! GET OUT! YOU PIECE OF SHIT." My hands grip my hair as I yell at his retreating figure.
I open my eyes to the unforgiving sunlight. Where the hell did I go wrong in life. I always pick the wrong ones. My subconscious won't even let me forget it in my sleep. And now for Saturday: the saddest day of the week when you have no friends.
*Brrrrrrring! Brrrrrrrrrrring!*
Who the hell is calling my home phone. My home phone is for sex only! That sounds so wrong on so many different levels.
"Goddamnit! I told you never to call this number." I don't even bother with a greeting. I know it's Renee.
"Well hello to you too, sunshine! Why can't I use this number? I knew you were at home." Leah. I plop back down on my bed. It's so cold and lifeless. I need a man, bad.
"Why are you calling me?" I actually want her to call me so I won't be lonely, but I don't know why she wastes her time calling me. Mike got all the friends after the break up because he depicted me as the ranting lunatic. Which I was. I just had a good reason. But Mike has a way of putting a spin on everything. It's why I fell for him.
"Because I miss you, darling," she says in a faux British accent. "Besides, you know you don't have any other friends," she laughs as if she is kidding. I guess I'll let that slide.
"Ugh, really Leah I don't have time for this. I have stuff to do." God, I sound pathetic.
"Really, like what?" There is a long pause. I look around the blank room. Shit, I can't think of anything. "Exactly. Nothing." Why did I give her my phone number? She never calls for a good reason. "So how many calls did you get last night?"
"Leah," I say in a warning tone. I didn't mean for her to find out, it slipped. At lunch one day we were just talking about life and it felt good to talk to an adult who didn't want me to help produce an orgasm so I let it slip what I did as a second job.
"Fine I won't pry, but one day I'm gonna give you a call, and you cannot refuse me, Sexy Lexi! I want to know if you ever meet anybody on the sex line. It may be a good way to meet singles." Is she going to stop laughing? It's not a joke.
I don't say anything. I just listen to her laugh. Should I tell her about Jay? This is such a small town. What if she knows him or something. I twiddled my toes contemplating the cost and benefits. Why does she make me feel so insecure? She stops laughing, noticing my silence.
"You did, didn't you! Oh my gosh! you did!" Somewhere between her renewed laughing, I get embarrassed. Just because she can snap her fingers and get a date does not mean she can laugh at the less fortunate. "Don't tell me you're in love with him." Now she wants to get a little serious.
"N-no! Gosh, no! I just felt something, you know. Like maybe he's different. I know it sounds crazy but I felt a connection. He makes me feel beautiful." I slap myself on the forehead. What is wrong with me? I pace my bedroom floor back and forth. I hope he calls back. Maybe he felt the connection too.
"So, what was the connection? Is he into S&M?" she asks eagerly. I don't think so.
"No!" God, I hope not. We just started off slow. He was nervous. I had to prompt him.. I could tell he wanted to talk to the real me. And the sex well, I was kinda into it." I chew on my bottom lip remembering him afterwards. "We shared something special after the sex too."
"Wait we're still talking about the hotline right? What did you guys do afterwards, spoon?"she cackles at her own joke.
"We just talked a little. I was thinking about him the rest of the night. And I kinda hope he calls back."
"Man, how was it? Was she good? Did you have a good time?" Quil is so fucking frantic, he's making me get flustered. Between all the kids and the lights, I was getting dizzy and lethargic. And if I have to see another sticky piece of cotton candy get stuck to my hands , I am going to lose my mind.
"Call who?" I ask irritably. Maybe if I play stupid he will go away. I really don't want to have this conversation in a crowded Chuck E. Cheese. The last thing I need is for all of the parents to know I call sex hotlines.
"Dude! Sexy Lexi! The chick I told you to call for a good time!" And damn it if he didn't just shout it to the whole world. All the moms by the ball pit give us the evil snake eye.
" Shhhhhhhhh be quiet! Jesus do you want everybody to know? Like seriously, Quil, we are at Chuck E. Cheese." We walk over to the Jungle Gym for a bit more privacy. Hopefully all the screaming would drown out his stupid questions.
"What makes you think I called her?" I ask trying to keep up the ruse.
"Because the number was gone off your desk when I went in to finish up the Buick on Saturday," he said like I was an idiot. Shit. Who knew Quil was so observant. And fuck him for working on Saturday. I just sigh and shake my head. "So spill! I know you called her. Was it really good?" I wish this overzealous bastard would get off my back. I really don't want to think about my crying pussy-fit last night.
"Was what really good?" Damn it! Paul always shows up at the perfect time. He takes a large bite out of a slice of pepperoni pizza.
"Nothing! We weren't talking about anything. Nothing was good, okay?" Great, now they're both suspicious. Smooth, Black. They can tell I'm lying. They both give me the 'I am not buying it' look. Time to deflect, big time. "Hey, where did you get the pizza?"
"Oh over there at the purple table," he says pointing with his half eaten piece. I take this chance to escape. "Hey not so fast!" They both follow me over to the food. Fuck! I grab some without even looking or caring what I'm piling on my plate. I spot a table in the corner and head over that way. We get there have a seat and the idiots are both staring at me with these dumbassed looks on their faces.
"Yes, okay. Yeah! I called Lexi. She was cool," I admit nodding my head and stuffing my mouth with two slices of pizza.
Paul slaps my hand away, keeping me from grabbing another slice."Why do I get the feeling you're holding back."
Big mouth Quil chimes in,"because he is. It's like pulling teeth, man. Just tell us what happened."
I roll my eyes and try to think of something quick. "Well I called her. She sounded really nice, I guess. She asked me about my favorite movie."
Quil gets all excited and says, "She asked me the same thing. And, I told her Fast and Furious. So then we had a little fantasy car sex." I stuff another slice of pizza in my mouth. I better chew this one.
"Next time you should try doing her from the back. We did this motorcycle fantasy… I mean she was bent over the side and…I think she's into me man..." God I can't listen to anymore of this. It's making me sick. I bet she makes Quil feel special too, like he is the only man in the world she would ever want. I want to vomit just thinking about all the men she services. Was she lying to me? Of course she was. It's her job.
I can't believe I'm calling her again. Maybe I should just hang up and meet a real woman. I mean she is a real woman. But like one that is actually in the same room.
"Hello, this is Sexy Lexi." Fake, fake, fake. Why am I getting sucked into this bull shit. This is her job. It's just a job.
"Hey," I try. Now I sound a bit irritated and dry.
"Jay?" My stomach drops. She remembers me?
"Uh, yeah. Hey." Shit, I already said that.
There is a long pause on her end. "Hey. How are you?"
"I'm good," I end lamely. I don't know what to say to her.
"I missed you," she says. This shocks me. She said she missed me. Did she feel it too?
"I was thinking about you all day." Did I just say that out loud? Shit! She's going to think I'm a creep. Then I remember Quil retelling his interactions and I get angry. I blurt out "Why do you do this?"
"Do what?" She sounds confused and a little afraid like she pissed me off, like she did something wrong.
"Do this. The phone sex. Why do you do the phone sex?" I'm seething.
It takes her a long time to answer me.
"Hello?" I say.
"Because I'm good at it," she finally answers.
What? She says it as if it's a good reason. Like I'm the one with the problem.
I'm so upset, the next thing I know, I'm yelling into the phone. "Because you're good at it? Unbelievable! Are you serious? What kind of sick shit is that? How many men do you talk to a day? You know what, don't answer that!" I'm so upset that I hang up the phone .
Jesus, whats wrong with me? She has to make a living. And she's not really sleeping with the people who call her. I just hate that she shares something so intimate with anyone and everyone who calls. She probably really needs the money. Shit, I'm a douche. I take a deep breath and find myself calling her back.
It takes a long time for her to answer the phone. When I hear her pick up the phone, I blurt out, "I'm sorry. I am so sorry."
I hear her sniffling over the phone. Shit. "It's fine," she sniffles. "I am just a little emotional tonight. That's all." I think she blows her nose. Shit. I. Am. A. Douche.
"No. I'm sorry," I say. "It's just I don't want you to say, um," I stutter, "to me,um, what you say to everyone else." God I sound like a pussy. "I want you to be real."
"I am real! This is real!" she sniffled again. Then she blew her nose again. "You think I'm lying to you?" Fuck! Now she's crying again. I don't want to make her cry, ever.
"Shit! Baby I'm so sorry. We haven't even seen each other, and I'm putting all this pressure on you." Maybe I am going crazy. This got really serious, really fast. "I just want to hold you," I say getting an idea. She does this for other people, maybe I do this for her. "Don't cry, baby. Pretend I run my hand down your back. Can you do that?" I ask.
"Yes. I really want to feel you," she whispers. "Your hand finds the skin of my back . Let your hand run back and forth. Reach around the front. I want to feel you, just skin. I want to feel your lips everywhere."
"Let me kiss your lips, down to your neck, shoulders, let me taste you, baby." I whisper into the receiver. "I lick my way down to your breast, feel your heartbeat against my palms. Oh I want to suckle on your sweet nipples."
She exhales deeply. "I want to feel your weight on me. I don't want any barriers between us as you fill me up."
"Will you let me make love to you?" I add to our new fantasy. "I want to feel your lips quiver as you say my name." And only my name. I want it all.
"I want it all," she whispers back. "I want to look deep into your eyes as you move inside me. I want to feel you."
"Where, baby?"
"Everywhere. Just deep, so deep inside my pussy. I want to look into your eyes as you come inside me. I want it all."
A/N: I hope this chapter was just as good as the last! I would love to hear more comments and suggestions from you guys! Edward will make an appearance in the next chapter! And If anybody wanted to know, my writing playlist includes the Alabama Shakes, AlunaGeorge, and Sia.
