A/N: Thanks so much to Lady of Spain aka Star for making the banner! I hope this chapter adds dimension to the characters in this story. I love the feedback/questions that you guys have been giving me. Your comments really help me write this story!

Chapter 4: I Should've Quit Weeks Ago

I've been crying all night. This is wrong, so wrong. I'm breaking all the rules and it's getting too personal. I don't even know what he looks like for Christ's sake. First he says he thinks about me too, but then he hangs up on me? Am I just a toy to him? I guess I am running a phone sex line, so yes I am just a toy to him. But it didn't feel like it. Shit.

He doesn't know anything about me. Hell, we don't know anything about each other. He thinks I am a dirty prostitute because I service men over the phone? I feel so low, so rough. Am I to be ashamed that I am good at giving men what they want? Like, I should be washing his feet with my hair. All I do is cry over men. He called a sexline looking for fresh, innocent truth. I rub the tears out of my eyes, the lids already starting to swell with the reflection of my low self esteem. Am I worth nothing?

I decide to take a shower to cool my head. When my hands and feet start to prune, I shut the water off and walk back to my room wrapped in a towel. The full length mirror in the corner of my room catches my eye and I slowly walk towards it. With my feet still wet against the wooden floors, I shed my towel and take a look in the mirror. I have nothing to bare. I have nothing left but a small nipple ring on my left breast. The water from my hair drips down my onerous back. What do I have to offer a man other than what is between my legs? Nothing. It all looks the same.

"Kenny, No!" I call, trying to keep my voice kind. Jesus Christ, I go into a daze for one minute and the next thing I know, there is an uproar in the classroom. Where the hell is Leah when I need her! Crayons and markers have been thrown everywhere. The whole class is watching us, just laughing. "Kenny you can not throw markers. Please have a seat," I plead with him. He looks at me and considers me. I can see it in those expressive brown eyes.

He finally stops the throwing and walks over to me as the class settles down. I can see something is wrong with him he seems distant and a little upset. I kneel down to his level and speak as low as I can.

"Kenny it's snack time. Did you bring a snack today?" I ask, trying to give him something to be excited about. All kids like snack time. He looks down at the floor and shakes his head. "Where is your lunch box? I thought I saw you bring it in." He slowly walks to his cubby, grabs his Transformers lunchbox, and heads back around to me. I ask him to open it and tell me what he has.

"I have a ham sandwich and grape juice." I look in to see a piece of white bread folded in half, with a piece of ham stuck in the middle. I see him glance at Margo's colorful containers that represent all the appropriate food groups. "Daddy says he forgot to go grocery shopping." His doe eyes look up at me and I swear I see an angel.

I grab his sweetie pie face and say, "Well we will have to do something about that, now won't we." I take his hand and we walk over to my desk. "Would you like some apple slices and goldfish, or maybe graham crackers?" His eyes light up and he nods with appreciation.

He does something that I was never prepared for. I'm not even sure I hear him correctly but he barely whispers, "Thank you, mommy." And runs fast as lightening to his assigned seat next to Kasey.

My heart starts to race, and I don't know how to feel. Do I just ignore it, pretend it never happened? My train of thought is cut short when Margo rushes over to me with a bloody nose. I give a little "Ut oh" and pinch her nose while tilting her head slightly forward. Jeeze, this has to be the third time this month!

She gives me an embarrassed look and then diverts her eyes with a gentle "Sorry, ." She's so sweet.

"It's ok Margo. Just breathe through your mouth while I hold your nose. Maybe we can talk with Dad about this."

Edward comes to pick up Margo and she's very happy to see him. He has a pair of scrubs on, must be a doctor. My mom would love everything about him. He's tall, young, a doctor, and most importantly, not married. How is that even possible?

"Daddy, daddy!" She runs over to him and jumps into his arms.

"Hey Margie baby. Ready to go?" He lets her down and she runs over to her cubby to get her Hello Kitty backpack and lunchbox. I take that as an entrance to interrupt.

"Margo has been getting a lot of nosebleeds lately. I was going to ask you If you could bring her a few shirts to keep in her cubby. And if you can make sure her name or initials are on the inside, we can make sure they get back home safely," I suggest with a smile. I rock back and forth in my clogs, my arms crossed behind my back.

"That's fine, . I will place them in a little shopping bag for tomorrow. I'll have Margo put them in her cubby." He looks over at his daughter like she's a prized possession.

"Sure that's fine. Have a good day ." Margo is standing by the legos, talking to Kenny.

"Please call me Edward," he smiles. Before I can turn back around to my desk he reaches for my hand and draws me a little closer. "Um, I know this may be odd, but do you want to go out for coffee?" His voice is low, but very certain. Here we go. Keep it professional, Bella. Ignore the butterflies in your stomach and keep it professional. He probably just wants to sleep with me anyway.

"I don't know about that , I mean, Edward. I'm Margo's teacher," I try to laugh it off. I wish he wasn't so serious. If he only knew what I did as a second job, he'd run the other way. I take a deep breath and try to think of a way to turn him down nicely.

"Yeah and Margie thinks you're great," he says with a coy smile. "And I would like to see for myself. You're a very beautiful woman, . I want to get to know you. Please join me for coffee this weekend." He seems like a nice guy. That'd be a switch; I guess it wouldn't hurt. I look down at the floor and focus on his electric blue pair of New Balance running shoes. He follows my line of sight and laughs. I blush and quickly look away.

He runs his hands through his golden copper locks of hair and gives me a lopsided smile. "Margie picked them out."

I couldn't resist a good laugh. I giggle a little bit and finally give in. "Okay." What the hell?

"Okay? Really, okay thats great. Does Saturday at 10:00 good?" He seems a bit shocked, but excited.

"Yeah, that sounds great. We can meet at the Little Goat Bakery on the corner of Hubbard street." Now I'm excited just thinking about all the treats and the possibility of taking home a nice box full of goodies even if the date turns out shitty.

"That sounds great. I'll see you then. Um," but before he can say anything else, Kenny knocks over a whole tub full of legos.

He looks up at me and gives an empty look and a hollow sorry before he gets on the floor, and slowly starts to pick them up one by one. I turn towards Edward with an apologetic look.

I give him a weak look. "I should probably go tend to the mess."

"Yeah, I'll just get your number from the school directory. Have a nice day," he says looking pleased. He takes Margo's backpack and leads her out of the room after a quick 'bye bye'.

I turn back to Kenny and take a deep breath. Life with this kid is a roller coaster. I slowly walk over and get on my knees to help him put the legos away. I pause for a moment and ask him, "Do you wanna tell me why you knocked over the tub of legos?"

Like a dam bursting he starts to cry violently and says, "Because you're supposed to be my mommy! You're supposed to like my Daddy!" Oh. That was unexpected.

I take him into my arms and start to rub his back. He wants a mommy. He hates the silence and starts to sob even more. I pick him up and hold him tight. He is soaking through my shirt, but I couldn't care less right now. I walk us over to my office chair and have a seat.

"It's okay baby, I'm here. Shhhhhh you're fine, just breathe. Take deep breaths, baby." He actually listens to me and after a good cry, he falls asleep in my arms. He looks so sweet I can't bare to put him down. Looking at the clock, I notice Uncle Paul is now an hour late. Kenny tightens his arms around my neck a murmurs mommy into my chest, melting my heart. I take a sniff of his hair and smell fall springs and a hint of mint. His neck smells like honey and lavender. I close my eyes for a second, and then hear footsteps.

And here he is, pitiful Uncle Paul. He actually looks concerned. "Hey, sorry I'm late. What's going on?" he asked looking at Kenny, concerned.

To say I get a little upset is an understatement. "You tell me!" I loudly whisper. "Kenny has been in bad spirits, hasn't had a proper lunch in school, and may I add being picked up later and later everyday. Children need structure that Kenny is obviously not getting. To add insult to injury, I have yet to meet his actual father."

He lifts his hands in the air and says, "Hey lady he's not my son but his father, Jacob, has been really busy," he tries to defend. If this guy is the best Kenny's dad can do, I really wanted to see what dad was like.

"Will you please tell to get unbusy and be here tomorrow to pick up his son because we need to have a serious talk!" I let out a deep breath I didn't realize was holding. Whew that felt good, almost liberating.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbles and takes a sleeping Kenny into his arms. "I'll make sure Jacob shows up tomorrow." He gathers up Kenny's things and leaves.

I run my hands through my hair and smooth my blouse and skirt. Now I have to go home and think about what I'm going to say to Kenny's father. Great, me and my big mouth are about to open up a can of worms.

"Look man, your kid is having problems at school. You gotta go and pick him up from school tomorrow. is getting fed up," Paul says using little finger quotation marks. "Be ready 'cause everytime I see her she's got her panties in a bunch. She's hot, but a total bitch."

"Problems? What type of problems?" I open the swing door a little wider and take my son out of his arms. His little face looks so tired and stressed out. Damn, my son can't even sleep in peace.

"Something about him being a cry baby. Look dude, you need to toughen him up or something. Everytime I pick him up he has an issue. I think he's too soft." I ignore his last statement and turn my back to him.

"Sure, sure. I'll go up there tomorrow. See you in the morning." I close the door with my foot and head to Kenny's bedroom.I lay Kenny gently on his bed as I undress him from his school clothes and put on his grey pajamas. I guess if he wakes up he can have dinner, but for now i'll just tuck him in.

It's been two hours and Kenny is still asleep in his room. Maybe I should talk to someone. I'm feel more and more alone everyday. I take my cell phone into my room and close the door behind me. This is going to be a long night.

The salt from the popcorn makes my lips swell and turn red. I can't get Kenny off my mind.. As twisted as it may sound, I would give anything to hear him call me mommy again. I can't keep from smiling. Mommy, I would love to be his mommy. Getting him ready for school, making him breakfast, packing his lunch, I would have a purpose in life. Then I return to harsh reality. Who would ever see me as a mommy? I'm an unaccomplished teacher who moonlights as a phone sex operator. It's almost time for my endless shift on the phones and I'm already tired of being awake today.

I've had 19 calls tonight, and I haven't heard from Jay yet. Did he change his mind? Do I still disgust him? I probably wouldn't talk to me either. Who wants a whore as a girlfriend. Well, I have twenty minutes till I'm off the clock.

*Brrrrrrrrrring! Brrrrrrrrrrring!*

My heart drops to my stomach and I hold my breath. My heart starts to race and I shakingly pick up the phone and hold it to my ear. I try to compose myself before I say "Hello, this is Sexy Lexi." There is a long pause. I hold my eyes shut tight and bite my bottom lip.

"Hey," I hear and my heart thuds, "it's Jay." My smile is wide.

"Hey baby how are you? I wasn't sure you were going to call."

"Why wouldn't I call you? I told you I need you." He is lying. He doesn't need me he just wants to get his rocks off.

"Why would you need a whore?" I blurt out. Woah, what's wrong with me? Why can't I just accept his companionship while it last. I always want more than I can have.

"You're not a whore to me. I want to be with you. All this other stuff doesn't matter to me." He takes a deep breath and just starts rattling off, " "Look, I'm a lonely twenty-five year old single father who just needs someone to talk to."

"Why are you telling me this?" I say,, a little upset because I know exactly why he told me this. He wants me to break all the rules. He wants to know who I am. "I already told you what I look like and that was breaking the rules. You know my job won't allow me to disclose any of that information." I feel so cheap right now. My John for the night wants to know everything about me. I'm falling for a John, I mean Jake. I'm about to break the rules for a guy who pays me for phone sex.

"Give me something, please. I'm falling for a woman I know nothing about," he sounds so helpless, so I give in.

"I'm twenty four years old. I live in the house my dad left me in his will. I don't have any children but I want at least four. And you already know what I do for a living." I shut my eyes and pray he doesn't ask me for my name.

"What's your real name?" Shit, shit, shit. Damn it, Bella, just think of something. Say anything. Ugh, do I want him to know my name? I hold my breath and just let the chips fall where they may.

"You can call me Belle." That's good enough. Technically, it is my name. It's a nickname. Right?

He seems confused or disappointed. "Belle." That is all he says.

"Yes, Belle." That's all I'm willing to give up right now.

"Is it short for something?" Now he's prying. I wish he would just stop digging. He knows I'm breaking the rules.

"Maybe." These one-word answers have to be a hint that I wont be telling him anything else tonight.

"Well, Belle, I'm one of the worst single parents ever," he confesses as he exhales.

"And why is that?" I ask, trying to show some sympathy.

"Because my child is apparently a little troublemaker in school. I have no clue if he's been fighting or just not being cooperative in class, but I have to go face the music tomorrow. I heard his teacher is kind of a bitch but I'm going to go into the class at 12:30 with an open mind. I'm just so tired. I mean, if it's not one thing, it's another." Wow he's long-winded today. Too bad my shift is over and it's almost my bed time. Wait did he say 12:30? Did he say his son is not doing well in his class? Dear God there are only two preschools in town. Jay, Jake, Jacob. Something clicks in my head.

"Um, How old is your son?" I take a big gulp. I think I'm starting to sweat.

"He's turning five in December. Why?" Oh, shit my life is over. "I wish you could see him. People stop me in the street and tell me how beautiful he is." I think I'm starting to hyperventilate. "His friends call him KD." Ok, now I'm having a panic attack. I can't breathe.

"Uh, um, Ja-Jake ca-can I call you back," I stammer like an idiot. "I uh, it's my bed time and we've went forty minutes over my shift." I hardly wait to hear him answer.

"Yeah sure, I'll just call back tomorrow," he says, kind of hurt and put off. What am I supposed to do tomorrow?!

"O-okay bye!" I slam the phone down to the receiver.

Bella what have you done? You should have quit this job when you had the chance. Now you're gonna get fired and your life is going to be over. To say this phone sex line is a breach of conduct is an understatement.

I lay in bed with my eyes wide open, crying until I faint from the stress and loss of oxygen. Tomorrow is the beginning of the end. How could I have been so stupid? Jay, Jake, Jacob.