August 22, 2006

"I just don't know why you won't talk to me anymore!" Alex crossed his arms as he sat down on the sofa.

Dean sighed, "Look, it's complicated…"

"You ditched me the entire summer and when you get back you're suddenly quiet all the time and barely want to do anything." Alex unfolded his arms, "Plus I heard you muttering some other guy's name last night!"

Dean coughed; he'd had a dream about Castiel. It wasn't actually him (he was sure of that); "It was just some dream."

"With some guy named Cassel or something…" Alex sighed, rubbing his eyes as he looked up at Dean. "Look Dean, I think I know what's going on."

"No you don't."

"Well, I don't have to. I'm done. I'm sorry but I can't take being ignored and potentially cheated on." Alex stood up, "Don't call me."

"Wait…" Dean tried to catch him on the way out, but he had the door slam in his face before he got a chance.

Good fucking job Beretta. Dean sighed as he sat down. He had been dating Alex for almost a year-easily his longest relationship-and while he wasn't wrong, We have been growing apart, Dean hadn't wanted it to end. He stood up and walked to the kitchen to get himself something to drink before glancing at the phone charging on the counter. Fuck it.

He picked it up and punched in Sam's number, "Hello?"

"Hey Sammy."

"Hey Dean, what's up?"

"Not much. Might finish getting my room set up later, but I'm free for now. Figured I'd see if you wanted to get lunch or something."

"Sure, why not." Sam shuffled a few papers on his desk, "I've got a bit of time. I already have the curriculum for the class done and at the moment there isn't too much for me to do with research…"

"What time can you do?"

"I'd be free in about ten minutes."

"Awesome. I'll see you in a bit at Gert and Cal's."

"As long as you buy dessert this time-you ate half a pie on our last outing!"

Dean huffed, "It wasn't that much…"

"Of course." Sam chuckled. "See you soon."

"See ya."

**SPN**

Dean took a sip of his coffee before placing the ivory mug on the linoleum tabletop. "Sammy I'm going to say something and I want you to promise not to judge me."

Sam though of how he'd said almost the exact same thing only a few months before and what it had led to, back when he and Dean were entirely normal. "What is it?"

Dean fidgeted, "It's two things, really. What do you want first: door A or door B?"

Even when Dean's serious he still manages a reference, "I'll take B."

"I'm gay."

Sam blinked a moment before he responded, "What about Danni, and Taylor, and Alex?" Sam shook his head, "I've seen you date plenty of girls-I'm pretty sure I almost walked in on you with a girl…" He nearly shivered at the memory.

"You did. That was Meg-the first, and only, girl I ever did anything with." Dean bowed his head and placed an elbow on the table to prop it up, "I used to try to like girls. When I first started out I thought, 'maybe it's just a phase, I'll grow out of it…' That's why I started acting macho all of a sudden in middle school. I didn't want anyone to think I might be… different. I didn't want to think I might be different." Dean exhaled, "And as for those three, it was Daniel, Tyler, and Alex. They were all guys."

"Well, I guess that explains why you never seem to date anyone anymore." Sam pushed his spoon on his napkin.

Dean looked up, "Alex and I actually just broke up… And I figured it was time I was honest, at least with you." He rubbed his arm, "I know Mom and Dad would freak out. Father Daugherty and I have had plenty of chats about it… I know what the Bible says, and believe me-if I could choose something else I would."

Sam frowned, "So what if you're gay? You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are."

"Easy for you to say, you're as straight as a lamppost."

Sam huffed and gave Dean a bitch face to end all bitch faces, "Look, regardless of who you're into, you're my brother and Mom and Dad's son. They'll accept you when you decide to tell them, even if it isn't at first. But you shouldn't get down on yourself because you're gay. Take it from someone with regular self-loathing, it sucks-don't do it."

Dean smiled weakly, "Thanks."

"So, what's door A?" Sam ventured, almost afraid of what the option held.

"I saw an angel in my dreams and he told me to watch for you."

"You mean watch out for me?" Sam corrected.

"No, watch for you. Whatever that means," Dean muttered, "It isn't even a proper sentence." He jabbed his fries with his fork, "He said he came to warn me because I 'have a greater role than I know-me and my brother'."

"An angel came into your dream and told you that we have greater roles." Sam couldn't believe he was believing this, "No other details?"

"Nope. One visit and that was it."

"Have you tried praying to him and asking for more information?"

Dean raised an eyebrow, "I don't exactly think that's going to work."

"It's worth a shot." Sam shrugged.

**SPN**

Dean looked up at the ceiling as he folded his hands, "Uh, I don't know if this is gonna work, given that I don't usually pray to specific angels or anything…" Dean exhaled, "But, if it's like the Saints, I guess it's worth a shot. Castiel, it's me, Dean Winchester. We just killed Azazel and stopped a bunch of demons from coming out-though a lot did get free-and I just wanted to see if you could maybe do the whole visionquest thing again and maybe help me out to figure out what's up next…" Dean rolled onto his side, "Anyway, thanks, and I'm sorry about last time, I'm still working on some stuff right now. Amen."

**SPN**

Dean was walking through the streets of a suburban neighborhood a few blocks from his current house. It was a warm spring day and there were people milling about. It was nice. As Dean was about to visit his favorite park everything seemed to suddenly become lighter, as if someone was messing with the brightness setting of his dream. Within a moment he was again in the white void, Castiel across from him.

"I received your message Dean." He remarked.

God damn even his voice is sexy, "Good. Um, is it possible for us to go somewhere a little less floaty to talk?"

"Certainly." The two were seated on a bench overlooking a small lake. It was an idyllic scene, a hunting lodge off in the distance. "Is this to your liking?"

"Yeah. It's amazing. I've never been here before, it's gorgeous." Dean was stunned at the beauty of the early-evening scene.

"You have. I cannot create spaces not in your memories. You had a vacation here when you were three years old."

Dean turned to Castiel, "But I can't remember anything before I was five-ish."

"Not all memories are accessible to humans, with time they fade. But I can see all of them as if they were a single ribbon of light; a simple touch reveals anything you have ever experienced." He explained.

"Everything?"

"Yes."

"Including my birth parents?"

Castiel turned toward Dean, "I was unaware that you were not able to access those memories. If you would like I can show some of them to you."

Dean nodded before he was suddenly standing in an unfamiliar kitchen. There was a woman humming to herself as she cooked something. She was smiling. A click had her turn to the front door.

"Mommy!"

"Hi sweetheart! How was the park!" She scooped up the little boy and kissed his forehead. He smudged it away.

"Gross!" The boy giggled, "It was good. Dad showed me how to hit a ball on the stand."

A man with a short black beard walked in carrying a baseball bat and a duffel bag. "He's getting pretty good."

"I bet! Our little tee-baller is going to hit a homerun one of these days." She smiled.

"I'll be back in a sec, just gotta drop this off in the garage." The man left.

"Alright Dean, let's get cleaned up. Dinner'll be in a few minutes."

"Yeah! What're we having?"

"Spaghetti and meatballs." She smiled.

"I love pschetti!" He grinned.

"I know. That's why I made it." She guided the tot out of the room toward the bathroom to tidy up.

Dean stood silently for a minute. He exhaled deeply and blinked away the remaining tears before wiping off his face. He turned to Castiel, "Thank you." He smiled, "Thank you, so much. I… I can't tell you how much this means to me."

Castiel was puzzled, he felt something shift in his grace for a split second, a flutter of something before he was back to normal. "You are welcome Dean." He opened the rear door and motioned to the back patio. "Now if you would like an explanation of what is forthcoming I can tell you what I know now."

"Yes." Dean nodded, still trying to fully collect himself.

Castiel motioned for him to sit town on the picnic table, "I know you are aware of your brother's tie to the demon Azazel."

"Yeah." Dean knew, he knew that's why Sammy has his powers, "But he isn't evil or anything."

Castiel was stone faced, "Dean, your brother bears a demon's blood running through him. He is destined as the true vessel of Lucifer, now that the last remaining viable alternative is deceased. When the time comes your brother will turn. And you will have to stop him from destroying the world."

"No. Sammy's not... There's no way he'd do that." Dean stood up, "You don't know him, he'd never do anything like that. Besides, he's got a tattoo-no possession."

"Lucifer is an angel, he does not possess in the same ways as demons, he-like any angel-must ask. Sam is destined to willingly let him in."

Dean was unsure of how to process what the angel had just said, "He would never say yes to the actual devil."

Castiel looked at Dean intensely, "You truly believe that." He nodded to himself. "In any case, be careful. The time will come and you will need to be ready for your role."

"What's my role?"

"You will find out in due time."

Dean was awake. His clock read 11:43. He sighed as he looked at the ceiling, wishing he knew what the hell to do next.