November 8, 2006

I really shouldn't be venting like this. Granted, it's healthier than holding it in, but using an angel as a therapist seems wrong somehow… Dean frowned as he looked up at his ceiling. Recently he had taken to nightly sessions where he talked with Castiel. Most of the time it was just to talk about his day and everything that was happening, but sometimes it was just for lack of something better to do in his dreams. It was nice, being able to have control over his fantasies and memories. Moreover, it was fun to have someone else along who he was able to share in the fun with. Cas-as Dean had decided to truncate his name to-was a good sounding board for ideas, and often worked well to help Dean figure things out. He was still bent on the whole 'destiny' thing, but thankfully hadn't brought it up too recently, which helped.

When Dean arrived in his dream it was the library again. Charles P. Washington Memorial Library was a short walk from his childhood home, and for some reason the squat floor-and-a-half brick structure stuck in Dean's mind. He knew Cas would be along soon enough. Thankfully the angel had learned to not white-out everything when he arrived, so Dean didn't get the feeling of falling endlessly like the first few times the void had appeared.

"Hello Dean."

Dean turned around, sure enough Cas was standing only a few inches away. "'Evening Cas." Dean smiled. "Have you ever been to a carnival before?"

**SPN**

Dean had been twelve when his parents had finally allowed him to go to the carnival unaccompanied. It had been one of the best nights of his young life. Tonight he was reliving that same evening with Cas while talking more about all the things going on in his life.

"...So Sammy's officially with Jess now." Dean sighed as he smacked a bell game, it's marker nearing the top of the lit-up display. "Which isn't bad-it's just… different."

Cas nodded, "You are quite close to your brother, despite your differences."

"Well yeah." Dean snarked, before correcting himself-aware of his conversation partner's lack of sarcasm detection, "You told me that Lucifer was an angel. I imagine you probably aren't besties or anything, but you don't hate him." He paused, "At least, I assume you don't. I don't think I could ever hate Sammy, even if he did somehow go dark-side, which he totally won't."

The flashing lights in the background cast a shadow on Cas' face as he thought. "You are correct. My brother is fallen, but he is still my brother." The angel's intense blue eyes locked into Dean's. "But you must understand that it is fated as part of the plan for your brother to turn, and when that happens you must be prepared."

Dean scowled as he crossed his arms and sat down at a picnic table near the stand they'd just left. "Sammy isn't evil. I can't prove it, but I know he can. If you hopped over into his dreams he'd be more than willing to show you around and prove he doesn't even consider the whole 'plan' as his future."

"Your brother may not even be aware of the influences that are trying to convince him."

"Then go over and check it out. If he has this stuff messing with him, tell him to cut it out. I know you're dead-set on some battle, but neither of us are going to do it!" Dean huffed, kicking an empty lemonade cup on the ground.

Castiel was silent a moment before he responded, "If it will satisfy you, I will go to your brother and see, then report back."

"Good."

And with that Dean was alone in his memories.

**SPN**

Sam looked out to the water as he felt the warm sun on his face. While he'd only been to the beach once in his life, it was easily one of the best memories he had. Jess was next to him on the blanket, sunning herself as he flipped through a magazine. It was a beautiful lazy summer afternoon, and the best part was that they had the beach entirely to themselves. Or so he had thought.

"Samuel Beretta."

Sam turned; it was rare for anyone to address him with his full name. It was a man he didn't recognize. He was walking toward the couple across the beach, his business attire and long coat clearly too hot for the summer beach. "Can I help you?"

"Your brother told me to visit you." He replied, casting a long shadow across the sand as he stood nearby.

Sam blinked, "Dean sent you? Who are you?"

"My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord. I have been visiting your brother Dean's dreams at his request."

"So you're the angel that said he had to 'watch for me'." Sam stood up and left his beach chair, "Whatever that was supposed to mean."

Castiel frowned for a moment-his grace having fluctuated at Sam's accusation-prior to his response, "I have told your brother this, and at his behest I have come to tell you."

"Good. Because I'd like some sort of explanation."

"You and your brother are the true vessels, and when the time arises you are fated to welcome Lucifer. As such, it is my duty to warn Dean and prepare him when the time comes…"

Sam crossed his arms as he appraised the man in front of him. "Bobby told me before the whole 'millennium prophesy'. I'm not going to do it, so you can stop insinuating that I'm somehow going to end up evil." Sam tilted his head slightly as the gears all clicked into place, "If Dean really did send you, then I assume it was so that you could see I wasn't planning on pulling an Anakin."

Castiel blinked, unfamiliar with the reference.

"So that I could show you that I am not intending to be evil." Figures angels don't get pop culture references.

"As he stated, 'If I hopped over into your dreams you'd be more than willing to show me around and prove you don't even consider the whole 'plan' as your future'." Castiel briefly mimicked Dean's inflection as he spoke.

"Which I don't. And considering you don't even know me, I don't think it's exactly fair for you to cast judgment on me-especially for something I haven't even done." Sam raised an eyebrow. "Take as much time as you want rooting around, I have nothing to hide. When you don't find anything, feel free to actually talk to me. Then maybe you'll believe me." Sam huffed as the angel disappeared.

**SPN**

Human consciousness is broken into multiple spheres, each residing within each other. Right now Sam was occupying the outermost layer of his subconscious, residing in a dream state. Below the top layer more layers of the subconscious continued before memories and finally repressed thoughts and urges became present. As a person aged the layers generally increased. Dean had fifteen layers-which was a few more than the average man his age, but explained with his memories being split into three layers-of which he only had access to the topmost. When Castiel departed from Sam's topmost layer he was stunned to find over forty layers.

Beneath the subconscious there were nearly a dozen layers of memories, though the more impressive feat was the twenty-one layers of repressed thoughts and urges. As the angel entered the first layer it became apparent that Samuel Beretta had self-esteem issues. By the third layer Castiel was at a loss for expression. Sam certainly was not evil. He had the makings of a villain, but he intentionally ignored the substantial pain and injuries he had endured-often hiding it from even his family and friends-and instead internalized it until it was coated in enough other layers that it was no longer a sharp pain, but simply an ache that he could ignore. Not dissimilar from how a pearl is formed through irritation, Sam used his pain as a basis for coating in layers and layers of indifference until the pain was dulled.

When Castiel reappeared it had felt like only a moment to Sam, who had returned to his beach chair. The angel looked far less stoic, and if Sam hadn't assumed that he was emotionless from his earlier interaction, he would've thought the angel nearly looked sick.

"You are right. There is no foothold for evil in you. Despite your sufferings, you intentionally choose to place your pain and negativity outside of your conscious thoughts. If the time were to arise, you would not choose willingly to give yourself as Lucifer's vessel. It would have to be done through coercion or force." Castiel ducked his head slightly, pausing as he considered his words. "I am sorry for all that has happened to you."

Sam blinked twice before staring, "What do you mean?"

Castiel paused, realizing that the pain and associated memories were mostly outside of Sam's memories. "There are some memories of your past that you have placed away and made into separate spheres of intense pain and hurt. They are unable to harm you where they are. I will not bring them up."

Sam stared quietly at the angel as he rubbed his arm, well aware of the certain memories he had intentionally removed before he responded, "Thank you."

"I suppose if you would like we may talk, as you had earlier suggested. I do apologize for not believing you… But it goes against what I was told." Which is deeply concerning for a number of reasons.

"Sure. Let's get a drink and chat." Sam smiled as he stood up and the two walked toward a tiki bar that had appeared a short distance away.

**SPN**

The younger Beretta has convinced our field agent that he will not be the vessel when the time arises. This will not do, the plan must go as intended.

Fear not brother, we need only be patient. An opportunity will soon present itself to rectify this development…