December 28, 2006

Dean closed his front door as he collapsed onto the couch. His "vacation" had been anything but relaxing, and Dean knew that he had to get back to his job soon enough-which will totally help me deal with it. Jess' family had been kind enough to not bring it up again, but ignoring what happened didn't make him feel any better. Sam had had an okay enough time with Jess and the two seemed to be having a good time as a couple in spite of everything, Thank God I didn't manage to fuck it up for them.

Dean got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen to pour himself a drink. While he normally wasn't inclined toward heavy drinking, it seemed to help dull the recent events to a number sensation than the searing shame and pain that was present when he was entirely sober. So, it was what he was doing. And after all, if I drink myself to death I won't have to tell Mom and Dad what happened.

**SPN**

Waking up in the middle of the night is never pleasant. Being stirred from slumber-whether restful or fitful-is irritating to say the least. Being woken up by an unknown person is that coupled with the fear that arises from someone unknown being in your sleeping place. So when Dean woke up at 11:18 to see a figure looming over his bed he was equal parts angry and terrified. NO, not again!

"Dean." A gravely voice responded. "Calm yourself."

Dean could feel himself beginning to hyperventilate, his chest rising and contracting uncontrollably as he clutched his bedspread. No, please God, no…

The man stepped forward from the shadows and raised his hand, causing Dean's bedside table to flicker to life.

"Cas?" Dean wheezed.

As the angel placed a hand on Dean's arm he felt his heart calm and his breathing steady. "After deliberation with myself on the subject I have decided to come to your aid."

Dean lowered his chin to his chest as he glanced at the plaid comforter. "Well you're a little late for that." Dean curled up his legs, making room for the angel to sit on his bed. Castiel remained standing. Dean sighed as he patted the mattress and gestured for him to sit.

"I understand that you feel that way. I apologize deeply for not coming to your aid at the moment of your vulnerability. At the time my ability to see was clouded as I was tasked with aiding the host on a different mission. While there is nothing physical I can heal I do intend to aid in your spiritual healing."

"So what, you'll visit me every night in my dreams?" Dean gestured to his bedroom.

"This is not a dream."

Dean blinked, "But… how are you here?"

"This is my vessel; I am here in the form of Mr. Novak in order to assist you in your recovery." Castiel motioned to his body.

"Wait-I don't want you to just possess some guy to make me feel better." Dean waved his hands.

"If it is any consolation he gave his consent, that and he is still aware of all that happens and can direct if he does not wish to take a certain course of action."

Well, I guess that's okay… "Alright… So long as he's fine with it."

Castiel paused for a moment before he responded, "He says that it is fine."

Dean stared at Cas silently a moment before he spoke, "So, what, heaven decided its vessel shouldn't be 'damaged goods' and wants you to get me back to normal for the big fight?"

"No. My brethren did not command me to do this. I have taken a leave of them to aid you in your recovery of my own accord. They know where I am, but did not send me-though I did gain approval from my superiors prior to my departure."

"I'm surprised they'd be willing to waste anyone on me." Dean muttered.

Castiel creased his brow, "Dean, I realize that you are feeling a complicated array of emotions right now. My goal is to help you deal with them and help you realize that you are worth something to many people." He placed his hand on Dean's shoulder-an attempt at comforting him.

Dean scoffed, "No offense, but how are you-a being devoid of interpersonal skills and even the most basic feelings-going to do that?"

"I do not know." Cas admitted, folding his hands as he sat on the bed. "But I intend to remain with you until you feel well."

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Well, okay… but I can't exactly afford a ton of food as it stands." My bank account barely clears every month after the mortgage and car payment…

"Do not worry, I do not eat. Well, I can, but it is not necessary."

Alright… "Okay, I guess you can stay." Dean smirked slightly, "I've had roommates before, first time I've hosted an angel though." Dean paused, "But, just to be clear-you can't tell anyone else who you are except maybe Sam and Jess. People would freak out if they saw a real angel."

"That is logical."

"And if you are sticking around we'll have to try to have you act a bit more 'human' for the sake of any visitors or neighbors…" Dean nervously eyed the stock-straight angel sitting on his bed, eyes laser focused on Dean's. "But let's not worry about that right now."

Dean slid out of bed and walked to the door, motioning Cas to follow. He led him down the hall to the guest bedroom.

"It isn't much, but this can be your room if you want." Dean coughed as he showed the small wood-paneled space to Cas. It had a twin bed and a small dresser, as well as a few decorations on the wall.

"Thank you." Castiel stated, staring at the space.

"Well, I'm going back to bed." Dean rubbed his arm, "Thanks, Cas." For everything.

"You are welcome, Dean." The angel stood in the center of the room as Dean left. He had a feeling that the next morning he would be in the exact same spot.