January 3, 2007
Just walk in there and act like everything's fine. No one knows. Dean took a deep breath as he looked at himself in the rearview mirror. It was 7:43 and he had to get inside by 8:00 to clock in. Man up, you fucking pussy. Just do it already. Getting back to work was not Dean's favorite idea. Being around people was difficult at the moment, and given how hands-on his students were (frequently grabbing his legs to get his attention), Dean was not looking forward to that sensation.
**SPN**
It was lunch, and so far class had gone well. Thankfully none of his students could tell that anything was off-and even if they could, none of them would be able to guess what the reason was. Dean sighed as he bent over to grab his lunch out of the staff fridge in the break room. Damnit Cheryl, why do you always shove everyone else's lunches to the back? Suddenly Dean felt a prod in the back of his pants. It was quick, but it was enough to set his heart racing. Dean jerked upward and was met with another quick prod, this time more central and quite a bit firmer. No. No. No. Not again… He spun around.
"Sorry Dean," Nancy Corrigan-one of the fourth grade teachers-stated, shaking out her umbrella. "It's a mess out there and I wanted to hang this up before I get back to the room. Guess I should watch what I'm doing." She smiled to attempt to disarm the accidental contact with her umbrella as she hung it on the wall, but Dean couldn't seem to match her calmness.
"Dean, are you okay?"
"Yeah…" Dean wheezed, his lungs felt like they were constricting as he grabbed onto the countertop. Calm down Beretta…
Her eyebrows shot up as she quickly walked over to her panting colleague. "Dean? Are you okay? Do you have an inhaler?"
He shook his head no as his breathing continued to spiral out of control and his brain shouted at him that he should be running away from the danger that had poked him, despite a different part of his brain trying to regain control and say that he was safe. The latter wasn't having much success.
Dean sat down at the nearest table, his body starting to tremble as his breathing continued to break in an uneven pattern, his lungs desperately trying to get oxygen he couldn't seem to bring in.
"Dean, I'm going to get Ana." Nancy motioned for him to stay still as she ran to get Ana Levitt, the school's nurse.
A moment later the older woman had arrived with Nancy. "Dean, I need you to look at me. We're getting you an ambulance, but for now I need you to try to control your breathing…" She calmly directed as Dean felt his body starting to tremble.
"He's starting to sieze…" Ana stated as she grabbed a paper bag from the cabinet, "Breath into this, count to five, then breath out…"
Dean felt his toes going numb as his vision blurred. He grabbed the bag, but his fingers refused to stay still enough to bring it to his mouth, instead jerking as he tried to move his arm into place.
"Dean! Stay with me!"
**SPN**
It was forty-two minutes later when Dean woke up. The first thing he noticed was Cas standing over him. The second was the tube shoved up his nose.
"Cas?"
The angel's forehead was creased in worry, his eyes somehow both distant and incredibly focused on Dean. "Dean, I have attempted to do as best I can to heal you, but it seems at the moment that I am limited in that ability due to the sheer amount of individuals present who are observing us and my not being able to reveal myself to others." He slowly removed his hand from Dean's shoulder.
"What happened?" Dean blinked, his body aching, but he assumed in much less pain than it should be.
"I am unsure." Castiel replied. It is troubling how fragile humans are, particularly given that I know not what causes all their issues.
As Dean was about to respond the door opened and a doctor came in. "Good! I'm glad to see the oxygen brought you back. I imagine you're a bit sore right now." The man adjusted his glasses as he read a monitor beside Dean's bed. "Up to 98%, we should be able to get you breathing on your own in just a few minutes."
"Yeah…" Dean coughed, his throat still raw, despite what he imagined was some fairly heavy healing from Cas. "What happened to me, doc?"
"Well Mr. Beretta, it appears as though you had cardiovascular and breathing problems-namely hyperventilation and seizing-caused by an internal non-physical cause. In short, something caused you to experience a panic attack."
"A panic attack?" No way, those are for people with mental health issues-I'm normal. Well, normal enough.
"Yes. I am unsure of the cause, but you may want to mentally go over the events leading up to the event and determine what the trigger might have been in order to avoid it in the future. Given that this is your first episode I think you should be fine, but if it happens again-especially at this degree of intensity-I would recommend seeing a specialist about solutions to help you prevent or treat them."
An hour later Dean was disconnected from the tube and ready to go-though the doctor had insisted on him staying overnight just in case. Dean looked over at Cas, who had been silently staring out of the window for the last fifteen minutes-probably tuned into angel radio-before he spoke, "Hey, I wanted to thank you, for, like, everything."
The angel turned. "I see no need to thank me, as I have done little to protect you. I am deeply grieved with myself in my failures to keep you safe both this and the previous time."
"Cas, I know you're guilt-ridden, but you don't have to be. For one, you showed up and decided to try and help me get back to normal-even if normalcy is going to take a while." Dean cracked a grin, "I know that you're trying, and I appreciate it. Together we can do this, even if it is going to take some time…" Dean frowned, mainly because I'm a fuck-up who can't seem to control himself.
The angel's appearance briefly flickered with a small smile, "I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you. I will continue to pledge myself to your betterment."
As Dean rolled his eyes the door opened and Sam and Jess walked in. "Dean! Are you okay?" Jess immediately hugged him.
"Hey Jess, yeah, I'm fine." He winced slightly, but didn't complain.
"Thank God, I didn't even know you were here until the hospital called us a few minutes ago!" She let go and briefly turned to Cas, "Well, I'm glad to see you had some company!"
"You would've figured that they'd call the emergency contact first thing." Sam crossed his arms as he sat down next to Dean. "Just goes to show how messed up the healthcare system is in this country."
Dean inhaled sharply, "Um… they did. Cas is my emergency contact. You're my alternate."
"Oh."It's nice to know that your angel boyfriend is more important than your own brother. "I didn't know you changed it."
"Uh, yeah… Shortly after he moved in. It made sense to list him because you work and he's usually not busy…" Dean rubbed his arm-it had made sense at the time.
"Well, in any case, just glad to see you well." Not that it mattered to you that I did. Sam smiled.
