February 7, 2007
After the first night, it became more and more frequent for Cas to sleep over in Dean's bed. Well, not sleep per say, as the angel did not require sleep in the same way which humans did. It was more that he spent the evening and early morning lying in bed next to Dean, quietly observing the man sleeping and making sure that he was calm and getting the rest that he needed. But regardless, the two were growing closer-as the sleeping arrangements testified.
Another indication was that Dean was being much more open with Cas, the two continuing their conversations in "therapy". Dean had been willing to talk more about unpleasant experiences from his past-though not quite THE experience, at least not yet-and had taken to having Cas talk with him as well. Dean recognized guilt-it was something he knew well with the way things had gone… Between Sam's demon issues-and totally failing to keep up with his training because I'm an asshole-and his parents' view of his sexuality, he could see the emotion quite well etched into the angel. After some gentle prying-and allowing Cas to pry a bit on him, as it was only fair-he had managed to have Cas reveal part of the reason he felt guilty.
"Because I failed you. I failed to keep you safe. To keep either of you safe." Cas lamented how he had first failed to keep Sam safe from Azazel (despite Dean pointing out that at the time he had been instructed to avoid Sam and allow him to go to his fate), then how he failed to keep Dean safe from his situation. It ended with the stoic angel sitting sadly on the floor and Dean forcing him into a bear-hug to cheer him up. Because chick-flick or not, the guy deserves to feel good, especially with all he's done.
**SPN**
"Cas, do you have a birthday?" Dean turned to the angel sitting on the loveseat next to him as he nursed a cup of coffee. It had been a long day at work and he was glad to unwind.
"Not in the same sense that you do." Castiel spoke, the corner of his lips rising as he thought back to the party that they had had the previous month to celebrate Dean's most recent age increase. "But, I suppose if I had to place it within the context of your human conception of time I would be born on March 23. That is the day I came into being along with many of the other host. Why do you ask?"
"I dunno, you ask all about human stuff in order to fit in, I figured it'd make sense to ask about angel stuff…" Dean blushed slightly.
"I appreciate your interest." Cas nodded before he attempted a smile, awkwardly shifting his lips into an uneven grin.
Dean laughed, "Cas, you know I love you, man. But your smile is a bit terrifying…"
"You love me?"
Dean immediately turned bright red as the room became silent aside from the hum of the heater in the corner. "I…" Dean inhaled deeply, he hadn't meant for that to slip out like it had. He nervously looked at the wall to regain his composure before he continued, "Yeah. I do." Fuck it. Fuck dancing around it, fuck chick-flick. Grow a fucking pair Beretta. "I love you Cas."
The angel smiled, this one just as awkward, but somehow just as endearing, "I love you too."
Dean exhaled, "So, what now?"
Castiel shrugged, unsure of the stages of human relationships. "I suppose we could bond. That is what angels do to signify their intents of remaining close to one another."
"Bond, like watch a movie together and rip on the bad actors? Because we already do that…" Dean glanced at the pile of Netflix disks he had to mail back.
The angel huffed, "No, bonding-as the word is rendered in your language-is when angels mark each other physically with intent of remaining as a couple. I suppose a tattoo would be a close approximation for humans, in that it is a permanent physical mark of your relationship."
"I'm not sure I'm ready for that… No offense to you, but I don't exactly do the whole 'tattoo' thing. I have one and I still remember how much I hated getting it." Dean tenderly rubbed his chest.
Castiel nodded, understanding his aversion to pain.
"But if you want there is a not-so-permanent way I can show our relationship." Dean coyly scooted toward the left side of the loveseat.
"And what would that be?" Cas asked, unaware of the closeness.
"This." Dean leaned in as he tilted his head sideways, pressing his lips against the warm sensation that was Castiel. He smiled as he pulled back from the kiss.
"So when you initiate it, it is okay?"
"Last time we weren't together." Dean stated, quickly feeling guilty for springing on Cas, given his own reaction only a month and a bit earlier, "But this time because we are, it means it is okay. In fact, if you want you can kiss me any time we are together."
The wheels clicked into place, "I understand. Because we are now lovers it is appropriate to express our affection through physical intimacy."
Dean's eyebrows raised, "I wouldn't say lovers-I'd say boyfriends… or maybe partners…"
"But, we are in love? Correct?"
"Yes, but lovers has other connotations-" Dean was blushing again.
"Such as?" The angel asked.
"Making love." Dean felt like a 12 year old glancing their first glimpse of porn saying that, making love to an actual angel. That has to be sacrilegious.
Castiel was quiet for a moment before he stood up and took off his sweater. He stopped and turned to face Dean, "Have I misread the situation, or did not intend for us to engage in sexual intercourse now?"
Holy fuck…
**SPN**
Two hours and forty-eight minutes later Dean felt like he wanted a cigarette. Or whatever the hell the equivalent was, given that he never smoked. He turned to see Cas laying on the mattress watching him. He knew that Cas watched him every night, but it was never creepy, it was actually almost flattering. Most people looked at him-some stared, which was understandable given his physique-but this was different than the appraising glance of a person on the street. It was personal, like he wasn't looking at the surface, but trying to memorize it-get to learn every curve and shade. It was more like someone appreciating a fine portrait or painting.
"That was… really good." Dean swallowed.
"I am glad. I apologize if I was unsure at parts, given that I am unused to this kind of intimacy."
Dean sighed as he leaned in and kissed Cas, "If you want to do that bonding thing I guess I could give it a try. Just try not to leave too bad a mark. You're a lot rougher than you think at times."
The angel appeared flustered for half-a-second as he nodded, "Are you certain?"
"Yes."
Castiel stuck out his hand and placed it on Dean's chest. It felt warm, then very, very hot. Dean clenched his teeth as he was about to speak, then it was over.
"What was that?!" Dean rubbed his chest, his ribs still felt sore.
"We have bonded-or, I have bonded with you, seeing as you are incapable of bonding."
"Did you just brand me?" Dean looked down, certain that any second red lumps would start appearing where the angel's hand was.
"No." Castiel stated, "I carved a sigil into your ribcage marking you as my bond-mate. It will protect you from evil and mark you as mine in the presence of other angels."
Dean blinked three times as he inhaled deeply, Dean you asked for it. "Thank you."
"So, how often is customary to engage in intercourse? I am new to it, but it seems to be quite enjoyable." Cas folded his hands as he sat up, still wearing nothing but the bed sheets.
"Oh my God, Cas…" Dean covered his eyes as he blushed an even brighter crimson than before.
