Eighteen: Alive

Narcissus

Breath.

Air.

Fills within me and then…

…a new sense, it iterates from under the surface of my skull – skull? I have a skull –

Icarus

It… it doesn't even hurt anymore.

How many times is this gonna happen? Poseidon or Nemesis or someone wants me dead.

Just kill me already. Stop playing with me, with my life, with my...

Just die –

Narcissus

And bones-

Icarus

Fuck this. Kill me.

Go on.

Narcissus

My limbs.

They're bound. Bound and struggling in layers and layers of green, of a place that was me and wasn't me –

Icarus

Just…

Narcissus

A place of my own creation.

Icarus

die.

Narcissus

He wasn't real. He was… myself. I deluded myself.

No.

Icarus

Narcissus

Or… some divine force…

I was punished.

Aminias… Echo… they were the ones, the ones who cursed me, the ones who beseeched her

No blame to be had there. I understand. I understand why.

I'm sorry.

Small pathetic words cause such anguish but cannot revoke them.

Still…

I'm sorry.

Icarus

Narcissus

I… see.

I see!

I… have eyes.

My eyes. They swivel around like organs entirely separate from the rest of me, but they're there. They're back. They're back and looking into the sky. I can see. Again.

I can see and things become clear, one by one colours exist again, touch my vision like Iris's blessings.

I can see!

The sun's gone. Everything is bright but…

Icarus

Narcissus

Stabbing me with invisible blades –

Where's the sun?

– the light, its hidden, the one I relied on for life and sustenance when I was nothing but earth –

Where is the sun? –

I need to…

Fingers… I didn't have them before. But now, they come into being, as if they'd always been there. Something separates, becomes different from the material that lays beneath it.

Warmer. Softer. More…

Human.

Lying on blades and in sweet yellow cups that were once a part of me, now in some faraway place right beside me. Beneath me.

I lie, eyes drinking in all the things I never missed before but long for now.

Every tiny pore on every grass blade turning its skin to the light –

But where is the –

Every hair on my being reaches for them, resounds with the heady scent of my brethren, I feel them, rooted in the earth, content with the shallow hold as long as they get to be a part of it for but one sweet second of all the time in the world, and then they fulfil their purpose for that, that one sweet moment of transience, in the cycle, in eternity –

They're beautiful in their own way. I couldn't see it before.

A noise, from the water. A shudder runs through, putting my mind back into its head. I can barely sit up. I drag a weak and unfamiliar body, drawn by something inexplicable, but important. Over the edge. A face lies before me.

But I expected that. My own…

reflection.

It's painful to see now. Eyes stare back at me, fearful and ignorant and mocking –

How did I not know? I could I not have known? Its so obvious… it near disgusts me.

I would say what's left of my heart is being ripped apart but…

But there's another face, under the water.

At first, its like a dream, its so dark and blurry that I…

There!

There it is.

The sun.

Glinting through the clouds and shining and blinding in all its splendour, all its life giving splendour before the clouds hide it again and all that is left is a warm pool of light in the water -

But my hand, my arm, it knows something I don't.

It's in the water, reaching…

Hair – skin – hits my fingers, a soft bubble of heat.

It can't be…

The lake.

My hope is lost in it, and it's too big. With that I'm in the water myself…

And there, a body, sinking, almost flying through the water. Peaceful…

Icarus

augh…

urgh. Blu-

Ack!

Water -

Cehu!

Cehu, ceh!

Hnn…

Cehurrgh!

Coughing, can't stop –

Ngrh –

Ah.

Mm. Hahh, huh, huh…

Finally.

'How many times do I have to do this?'

What?

…his eyes are back, that's the first thing I see. We're lying on grass and he faces me –

'Stupid boy.'

And he's smiling. He's talking to me. He hasn't talked to anyone in days –

'N-Narcissus?'

'…yes?'

'It's… how in Hades… are we in Elysium?'

He looks at me, dark eyes alive for once, alive – and he laughs and –

'What is your obsession with Elysium? Only heroes go to Elysium. Then again y-'

Cehu! Ceh!

I don't hear what he says next. Can't the coughing wait?

'But – but – how? Narcissus?'

Just enjoying the feeling of his name on my lips in my teeth without all the fear and desperation clogging it up, its too good to be true –

'Narcissus…?'

Shakes his head – he has a head now with his skin the right shade of olive, if a bit pale –

'Icarus - I'm tired of questions… can we just… rest now. Please?'

I nod, weak, but not as weak as him. He passes out near instantly, damp hair on my hand. Stroking it now, there's nothing else to do, feels good… I close my eyes for a second…

Narcissus

'How?'

'Icarus, what-'

'He's alive. And normal – Elli tell the others-'

You have been spared.

'– what in Hades did you do?'

'Doesn't matter, we need to get him in.'

'Lift him on three.'

'Do we have to touch him?'

'True. It might be contagious - '

'Shut up all of you and help me!'

Spared.

'One, two…'

'Our prayers were heeded!'

'You've been praying?'

'I'd given up.'

'Three!'

'Does this mean we still have jobs?'

You have been spared.

'I'm sorry.'

'Can hardly tell, this past week has been chaos.'

'Well while you were praying, I was job hunting. I have a position somewhere else now.'

'I reckon it has something to do with him.'

'The miracle?'

'Everything.'

'I only came to collect my things.'

'He won't take kindly to that.'

'I don't care.'

'Wake up soon, please…'

'This whole fiasco. It started when…'

You have been spared. You cannot sleep forever.

'It started when he came. We don't even know where he's from!'

'Right.'

'How is she though?'

'Doing better. The physician, he came at long bloody last.'

'Even Eubalus thinks-'

'Said that someone convinced him.'

The time is now.

'-there's something strange about the child.'

Awaken.

'Ah, well, one thing I've learnt is that people are weird like that. Change their minds all the time.'

'Even after we… thank you. I don't know how you did it but…'

'Something's not right here.'

'No shit Odysseus. But hey, we needed some action in this place!'

'You what?'

'I was getting bored.'

'Well I hope you're satisfied. This darkness… people are saying it was some sort of miasma, or a curse, it's left everyone terrified. Half the household is gone.'

'Even Tyndareus?'

'He was the first.'

'Just us slaves left. Of course it is.'

'We could just leave – '

'Without official documents? We'd be apprehended in seconds.'

'He might not survive still. He hasn't awoken in days.'

'Can you go talk about this somewhere else?'

'Why? Scared your beloved might hear?'

'What? He's not-'

'Do yourself a favour and get a life kid.'

'Who are you to order us around anyway?'

'…Please wake up soon.'

Leave this place.

'I need you.'

Go.

They gradually fade to silence, voices that stay a while in places I can't quite see them.

Good. It was getting annoying.

Finally my brand new eyes open once more, eyelids wrenching themselves apart like reluctant lovers divided by war.

The moonlight slips in through the doorway curtain, riding the breeze and gliding over my fingers like a cool blanket. A derisive greeting from Artemis. Well good evening to you too, lady goddess.

There, what was that? A fleeting figure. It haunts past darkly and into my mind. Nerves shift, the body shifts. Shadows. Gone.

Palpitations litter my chest, beating on it like a giant wooden drum and for a second I wonder, wonder what it is, wonder where all my energy has evaporated to, the pores, the green I used to draw from –

But instead air rushes through my hollow body. That's right. I breathe now. Again. Right. Good.

There's barely any water in me. I feel so empty. Could've at least returned me to a full body Aphrodi-

NO.

I mustn't complain, she'll bind me again, wrapping me in leaves of green until I can't see or speak or hear or feel -

I must thank her. I must make it my business to thank her, every second of the day. Nemesis too. Gaia and Iris next. There's so much work to be done.

No time to feel empty.

There's a kylix beside me. Filled with water. In the shallow moonlight, flecks of dust swirl on it's surface. Face first, mouth agape I plunge into the coolness, filling myself once more.

More.

I need to go to the well.

No.

The altar. I cannot come first anymore.

I must thank them before anything else…

Icarus

Cold and smooth…

There's a stone platform under my hands. Reach the edge. Rougher –

Are there circles in hades?

There must be… I swear… just circles I feel…

There's crackling points under my feet they go round and round and then I'm down-

Ow!

The awake spreads from my knees to my eyes so rapid it blurs me. I'm outside, again. There's a pillar blocking my way. A pillar? I was in bed... I went walking again. Asleep. Dammit.

'Great goddess of affection and love and all things holy and beautiful…'

Huh?

'Hear my prayer this night.'

Burning smell, meat. Orange flickers in and out of the pillars. Crackling pops shadows open in sharp strokes of light and heat.

'A thousand praises ring up in the air from my heart. If all the world were my soul the skies would weep in gratitude…'

Poetry? Chanting? His – it has to be his, who else's would it be – voice rasps up, louder and freer with every cloud of smoke –

He's here. He's awake! Finally!

'The ground would disintegrate, wash away in submission. Your endless mercies, goddess of love,'

I move to the middle of the courtyard –

'Your countless blessings in my life.'

Slowly.

'I may not be a priest, but I know you intimately. You give life to me in abundance and I will testify…'

In front of the muttering shape, fleshy smoke dances in the air, stings my eyes, blocks my throat.

'Never again will I scorn the things you have shown to be precious and –'

'Cehu!'

Crap.

He goes silent. I can't see him, much of him. Just a slight figure in the breezy clouds of burning meat. I mean I've seen these done in the courtyard before, just not often, and definitely not by him

'Cehu, cehh!'

Oh shit, I can't help myself now. The smoke's all in my airways –

'Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt.'

Is that a sigh I heard?

'Don't worry about it. It wasn't as if it were an official sacrifice anyway.'

'Right…'

There's so many things I want to say – he's here and he's awake

Does he know how long I've been – we've been waiting – its been horrible without him –

I mean not because I miss, I mean I kinda – okay I really did miss him, but only because some of the others it's like they've been really annoyed at me and its kind of scary, since our argument Elli's actually been fine cos I got her mum Eubalus –

But the others are on edge, like they're waiting for something –

– they keep talking about Narcissus dying and its horrible –

But now its fine because he's awake and –

'Are you going to move from there, or are you trying to set fire to yourself too?'

Move from wh– ?

Oh right, I'm pretty much on top of the altar. It's heat feels like its making brand new scars for me. I take a couple of steps back, and suddenly I'm not drowning in the smell of roasted… whatever it is. Sweet and mouth-watering almost… until I'm round the other side and can actually see the charred red and black mess that was once a living thing.

Ew.

'Heh, you look like you're about to be sick.'

I can see his face now. He still looks thin, but at least he's up. Even if it's the middle of the night and his arms are covered in blood and his eyes, glinting… dangerously?

'Such is the strange and twisted beauty of a sacrifice,'

Thoughtfully…?

'An altar of crafted human stone, a creature of nature, laid down alone…'

Peacefully?

'We recite and sing and wax poetic…'

They're more full of life than I've ever seen them.

'Over buckets of pigs' blood and sheep gizzards. Charming.'

I hold in a laugh. He's got his sense of humour back and all.

'Liked that one did you?'

His voice is soft, less raspy now. Gentle.

'I liked all of it. Things you were saying, they were beautiful.'

'Sheep gizzards are beautiful?'

'You know what I mean!'

He smiles but doesn't laugh this time.

'I barely knew what I was saying. Probably stupid-'

'Don't.'

He stops. Looks at me.

'Don't… I'm just happy you're talking again.'

Shakes his head. Suddenly a hand reaches out and –

'Hey!'

Great, now my hair's a mess. As if it couldn't do that by itself. His hand pulls away from my hair as I shake him off. Wait…

He's still got blood on his hands. I reach up...

Sticky.

'Ew ew ew! You got blood in my hair!'

He's roaring with laughter now, eyes dancing like coals in the dying embers.

'Oh man up, Icarus. It's only a bit of blood! I should take you hunting one day, then you'd see some real gore.' He reaches into a jar sitting beside him on the ground –

'I've seen enough of that for a lifetime. Get away!'

He's grabbed a wiggly tubey looking bit of the something which he hasn't put in the fire with slime dripping all down the sides and oh gods that's disgusting –

Narcissus

Hahaha, this kid is hilarious. All the stuff he's been through and he's scared of a bit of ram intestine.

He's pretty much on the other side of the courtyard now. Boy, if looks could kill.

'Relax!' I call,

'I'm not coming after you with it. Like I've got the energy for that. If this thing splits open it'll be a mess neither of us wants. Why do you think I pulled it out of the sacrifice? The gods certainly don't want it.'

'No! I feel gross as it is, I'm not coming near you.'

'Hey, we can go to the baths tomorrow!'

'I wanna bath now!'

'A bath in the middle of the night? That's ridiculous, Icarus. Hah, that rhymes.'

'You're the ridiculous one, mister "obsessed-with-doing-weird-crap-when-everyone-else-is-sleeping." Why are you doing sacrificey stuff now anyway?'

I feel the humour drain from my voice.

'This… this couldn't wait till morning.'

His figure shifts. He can tell something's up. I forgot how perceptive this kid is. He walks back towards me with purpose –

'Why not?'

He asks, right in my face. Or as close to my face as he can get, he is rather short. A bitter laugh escapes me,

'I was nearly dead.'

Honesty comes so easily now,

'Being in that place, that… state. Seeing the things I'd done, really being forced to see them… it changed something. It made me realise how grateful I have to be for every second of life from here on out.'

He's silent for a minute, staring up into my eyes with all the concentration of an illiterate person trying to read a scroll.

'So… gratefulness makes you recite poetry?'

I threaten to attack his hair again. He ducks away and nearly stumbles into the remains of the smoldering sheep, before recoiling to a safe distance.

He turns away. I'm curious, but then my eye catches the slowly cooking ram. Shit. I've dishonoured her enough already, coming out here on a whim without a priest or incense or the correct prayers and rites – what was I thinking? And now I've let him distract me –

'Hey, you alright?'

Again, he looks up at me as if his gaze could cure all ills. No, this is something I have to resist.

'Fine. I must finish. Please hold your tongue for a while.'

He frowns, eyes wide for a second before he nods and shuts up. Thank you.

'Aphrodite, goddess of love and compassion, forgive me for my distraction. This boy you see before you has… become important to me, sent by the fates to confuse my brain and unravel the paths of hopelessness I was so set on.'

I find my eyes are fixed not on the altar, but him now, his reaction. His eyes are turned away, and is it just me or is that red blushing across his face? Is he frowning, concentrating on anything but me? I can't tell, the firelight is too jumpy.

'Thank you for sending this blessing into my life to counter the curse of my stubbornness. Were it not for your mercy through him, I would be dead.'

What is this, a thanks to Aphrodite or a profession of gratefulness to the boy?

He's just a child. And yet he's done more for me in two months than anyone else has in my whole life.

'Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.'

I swear, I'd better force my eyes back to this altar before I get cursed for blasphemy all over again.

'Thank you, great goddess.'

I bow, head touching the dusty ground. In a past life it would have been unthinkable but in this new mind, this new body…

Anything is possible.

Anything.


END OF PART 1.

Quick author's note:

Thank you so much to anyone who has read and/or reviewed (especially looking at you horrorstar100). Any encouragement and/or feedback is so appreciated! Even small numbers count for me, and the fact that there are even five followers on this story makes me happy as anything! I do have to apologise for the horrible formatting of the chapters, but as many of you know, this website is not the greatest for uploading from word. I should also apologise for my uploading schedule which is atrocious and sporadic, but know that I already have many more chapters written, they just need editing and the plot solidifying, so there's much more to come from these two boys XD

If anything is unclear in the story, feel free to ask away!

This is certainly not the end of the story, it is only just beginning... see you in Part 2!

Many thanks,

Afrocelt x