George Washington(Yes, he came back from the dead)

George Washington: Huh, this is weird. Why is the last thing I remember is of me dying? Am I in heaven?

Fitz: What's heaven? And why did you die?

Me: *croaks* Ah, he's just some guy who died about two centuries ago.

Keefe: Huh, it seems like Lady Yeller is being quite quiet today

Me: *In a raspy voice* It's your fault, you made me yell too much and now I have a sore throat.

Keefe: But I remember you choosing to yell

Me: *as loud as possible(not very loud)* SHUT UP!

Tam: No offense, but that was quite pathetic

Sophie: Why doesn't Mr. Washington talk formally like the weirdos that lived in the 1700's?

Biana: You know him?

George Washington: Uh… is this what heaven is supposed to be like?

Me: Too many questions!

Keefe: Why is his hair white?

Me: *growls* One at a time!

Sophie: I thought people in the 18th century were supposed to talk formally

Me: WELL I'M TOO LAZY TO WRITE FORMALLY

Keefe: It seems like you can yell again

Fitz: Does anyone else know what they're talking about?

Me: Okay idiots, listen up. This is George Washington, the first president of the U.S., and a very brave general who served in the revolutionary war

Keefe: Why does he have a potbelly?

Me: Dude, just deal with the fact that not all generals have to have six-pack abs.

Sophie: I honestly think he's overrated

George Washington: Do you realize I heard that?

Linh: So polite even though he'd just been insulted.

Sophie: I mean, everyone always appreciates men over women. A woman general may have been better if they were even allowed to be a general. The only women who could serve in combat had to disguise themselves as men.

Fitz: But what if this Washington guy was secretly a woman?

Keefe: RIP HIS WIG OFF! RIP HIS WIG OFF!

Biana: How do you know it's a wig? If anyone knew, it should be me.

Keefe: He's secretly a girl, of course, he's wearing a wig.

George Washington: *realization hits him* Oh, I see. I turned into a girl in my afterlife.

Me: *Shakes head* These people are so stupid.

Tam: How did this conversation come to this?

Keefe: Because... *Rips wig off George Washington's head and his ponytail falls out* he's been hiding his true identity!

Biana: Take that, boys, your beloved General Washington has been a girl all this time!

Sophie: *Wrinkles face* You do realize that all men that live in his time period had long hair? You boys are so biased, just because someone has long hair doesn't mean he's a girl.

Fitz: Then take his shirt off!

Me: *Put hands to face* Help me out of this nightmare.

Tam: Why do I remember you trapping us into this room?

Me: *glares at Tam* I was forced too.

Linh: By who? I'll beat the person up.

Keefe: I can totally imagine that.

Me: By myself!

Linh: Am I supposed to beat you up now?

Me: DON'T YOU DARE!

Biana: At least we know you're still the same person.

George Washington: Excuse me, is there any other place in heaven that is not filled with irritating little children that I can go too?

Fitz: Why is he still talking about this heaven place? Don't you realize that we're going to be trapped in here forever until she's in a good mood?

George Washington: Well I guess I'll just sleep until she realizes that I'm in the wrong place.

Me: That's right, you are in the wrong place.

George Washington: See? I knew she would come around.

Me: According to my seating chart, you're supposed to be in that back corner, right next to Iggy's cage.

George Washington: Wait what? I think you've been mistaken…

Me: GO THERE RIGHT NOW!

George Washington: Okay… I guess on the bright side, it'll be a little more peaceful. *walks to Iggy's cage as Iggy farts in his face* WHAT THE DEVIL?! AM I IN HELL? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! FINE, MAYBE I WAS SECRETLY SPYING FOR THE BRITISH BUT THE AMERICANS STILL WON!

Sophie: *gasps* Traitor… This is how all men are like.

Linh: It would be really helpful if you could open the window right now. Oh wait, you took that out after J. K. Rowling escaped. Darn it.

Keefe: Help me! I'M FAINTING!

Sophie: Guys, we just made a breaking discovery. How could anything be more important than knowing about George Washington's treachery?!

Biana: What did you feed Iggy this time?

Keefe: If you don't do something in the next ten seconds, I will seriously pass out.

Sophie: HELLO? WHY DOES NO ONE CARE ABOUT HOW GEORGE WASHINGTON IS A RENEGADE?!

Keefe: WHY DOES NO ONE CARE THAT I'M ABOUT TO PASS OUT?!

Me: It seems like you guys can yell louder than me now. You must have learned from the best.*cough cough*

George Washington: Now I'm beginning to think I'm in heaven's zoo.

Fitz: Are you trying to imply that we are ANIMALS?

George Washington: It sure seems like it.

Linh: That's true, we're all super adorable and cute.

George Washington: That really wasn't what I meant.

Fitz: Did you hear that Sophie? I'm super adorable and cute. Now do you like me?

Keefe: Hey! She also called me adorable and cute too! She has to like me as much as you. *He and Fitz start arguing*

Sophie: *sigh* Welcome to my life.

Tam: Linh, this is what happens when you compliment those two.

George Washington: Do you, by any chance, have a sword here? Maybe if I kill myself again, I may end up anywhere else but here.

Biana: Sorry sir, that fangirl over there loves to torture us. You'll be stuck here as long as she sees fit.

Me: Uh-huh, but don't worry, this place is better than being trapped in a room with Iggy's fart.

Sophie: But we are trapped in a room with Iggy's fart.

Me: Oh right, I had a gas mask to block out the smell so I forgot all about that.

Linh: So can we just wrap this up before anyone dies from A Very Bad Smell Syndrome?

Me: NO! Wait, maybe we can end this without me yelling for once!

Everyone: YES!

Me: PSYCHE! I WILL YELL TO YOUR EARDRUMS BURST! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

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