Taylor Swift
Fitz: Why is there one extra person in this room?
Dex: Because last time you decided to keep me locked out of the room, remember?
Fitz: Oh, right, yeah, ha, I can't believe no one noticed that.
Linh: No, we noticed you weren't there, we just… uh…
Dex: Decided not to include me in you're meeting with whatever crazy dude the fangirl decided to pull off the street?
Keefe: Believe me, you were the lucky one.
Me: Hey! I didn't randomly pull people out of the street, I pulled them out of the tub of slime I forced them to bathe in for ten hours.
Taylor Swift: Yeah, and the slime smelled worse than my cat's doo doo.
Keefe: You own cats? Pah, loser. GULONS FOR LIFE!
Taylor Swift: Uhh… whatever a gulon is, I am sure that cats are a thousand times better.
Keefe: Nope, gulons are a million times better.
Me: PIGS ARE INFINITELY TIMES BETTER, OKAY? I'm glad that's settled.
Biana: But nothing beats sparkles, right?
Me: Keep dreaming, you'll never win that argument with me around.
Biana: Oh, Don't *pauses* You *pauses* DARE underestimate the awesomeness of sparkles.
Fitz: Whoa, I've never seen my sister this triggered before. Well except the time that Keefe hid all of her clothes and left her with a plain black outfit. Ha, you should've seen her face.
Tam: I really don't think this is the time to tease her.
Biana: Tam is right, *disappears and reappears holding Fitz by the collar* You should watch what you say, dear Fitzy.
Taylor Swift: *starts singing* You need to calm down, you're being too loud, And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (Oh)!
Sophie: Shut up, that song is so annoyingly catchy.
Me: *sings* You need to just stop, like can you just not, step on my gown, you need to calm down.
Biana: Gown?!
Dex: Don't get too excited, I don't think she's giving you a gown.
Biana: WHY NOT?! I AM AN INNOCENT LITTLE CHILD!
Keefe: Now that song is stuck in my head.
Me: Mission accomplished.
Linh: I should've known.
Taylor Swift: So… are you guys a T-Swift fan?
Fitz: T-Swift? Is that an ice-cream flavor? I want to try it!
Taylor Swift: No! That's me.
Fitz: Oh… he he.
Linh: Ooh, an awkward silence! I love awkward silences!
Tam: And you love everything else in the world.
Linh: True.
Biana: But you love sparkles the most of all, right?
Linh: Uhh… yeah…
Keefe: No, you love GULONS the most!
Me: NO, PIGS RULE THE WORLD!
Fitz: I want ice-cream!
Everyone: Huh?
Taylor Swift: Guys, let's just have a singing showdown to settle this dispute.
Me: That's not fair, just because god decided not to give my awesome voice a beautiful sound doesn't mean pigs are worse than those other things they mentioned.
Taylor Swift: The showdown didn't even start!
Me: You're obviously going to win.
Keefe: You know you can cheat the system, right? You write this thing.
Biana: Shhhhhh… Don't give her ideas.
Me: *gasps* I'm offended, I would never cheat.
Everyone in the whole entire world: *cough* *cough* *cough*
Me: You people are so mean.
Taylor Swift: Well, let's get this contest started. What should we sing? How about one of my biggest hits, "Shake it Off"!
Fitz: Wait, what are we shaking off? All the glitter Biana forced me to wear? YES! I VOTE YES!
Dex: Yeesh man, it's just a song title.
Linh: How does it go?
Taylor Swift: Drum roll…
Tam: Is that part of the song?
Sophie: No, just smack the table or something.
Keefe: Huh? *hits table* OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! My hand is red now!
Taylor Swift: Are all of you this stupid?
Me: What'd you expect? Smart teenagers? Well you got dumb teenagers.
Linh: Guys, she's joking, we're not dumb, we defeated the Neverseen, remember?
Me: You wish. And I was not joking.
Linh *speechlessly mumbles under her breath*
Taylor Swift: Anyway, back to my amazing song. *Pauses* 'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate-
Linh: I think I should give the haters some therapy sessions.
Taylor Swift: QUIET! I'm trying to sing!
Linh: *sobs* I was just trying to be nice!
Tam: *gasps* You made my sister cry. You really should've thought about messing with the shadow boy.
Keefe: You really would sound like an idiot if you didn't talk in that passive-aggressive tone.
Tam: You ALWAYS sound like an idiot.
Fitz: Ooooh, Teefe for life!
Tam and Keefe: SHUT UP!
Fitz: See? Proof.
Taylor Swift: Excuse me people, but I have to FINISH MY SONG!
Me: With these people, you never will.
Taylor Swift: Oh yes I will. You don't know me.
Me: But I do know me.
Taylor Swift: I meant me. As in me Taylor Swift.
Me: But I meant me! As in me, the best person in the whole entire world!
All the KOTLC characters: Yeah…
Biana: Watching them argue is like watching toddlers argue that B comes before A.
Fitz: But B does come before A.
Sophie: Honey, go back to preschool.
Keefe: You called him HONEY.
Sophie: Have you ever heard of sarcasm?
Keefe: But I'm your actual honey right?
Sophie: Are you trying to imply that you came from a beehive? Eww, no.
Taylor Swift: Hey… weren't we having a singing showdown?
Dex: Oh, wasn't that yesterday?
Taylor Swift: *mutters under breath* Idiots.
Me: Don't worry, we don't need a singing show down. We all knew that pigs were the best.
Linh: Yes we did!
Everyone else: Hey!
Linh: She made me say it!
*Everyone stares at her*
Linh: I'm not lying, she writes this thing, remember?
Keefe: Oh yeah, curse those stupid author powers.
Me: Your welcome, I know I am very awesome, and I will take applause now.
*Everyone purses their lips and looks down*
Me: *Turns on a clapping soundtrack and smiles in triumph*
Tam: You know, doing that won't hide the truth that you're simply not awesome.
Keefe: Yeah, and you know how much I hate to agree with Bangs Boy.
Biana: Ooh, Teefe!
Tam/Keefe: SHUT UP!
Taylor Swift: *shakes head* Teenagers are so annoying.
Fitz: Who were you again?
Taylor Swift: Okay people, I may look super nice and good natured on camera, but I have anger issues, so if you people don't get me out of here in the next minute, I will explode.
Sophie: I wonder how that would look like. Maybe I can get it on camera.
Taylor Swift: *************Curse you STUPID IDIOITIC CHILDREN!
Linh: At least we're smarter than you.
Everyone in the whole entire world: *gasps*
Tam: Linh… WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER?!
Linh: Guys, calm down, it's not the first time I've insulted someone.
Tam: Fangirl, we need to visit Elwin, end this stupid thing and FIX MY SISTER!
Me: Sure, but that would cost 8932 hours 54 minutes and 31 seconds of yelling.
All the KOTLC characters: That can wait.
Me: NO IT CAN'T! AND NOW, WELCOME TO THE YELLING SHOW!
Everyone: *Covers ears*
Me: *Magically glues their hands to their seats* YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART? WELL GET OUTSMARTED BY THE ALMIGHTY PERSON OF AWESOMENESS!
Yeah, that sounds really cringy. But who cares, review!
